RAIN
by Minute-Maid511
Summary: Lily Evans, Head Girl, top marks, top on everyone’s list, most wanted, most loved, and as popular as the Marauders to the nines—and then some. So what’s her extreme and unnatural fascination to the rain? Utterly alone?
1. Storm's Coming

Synopsis:

Lily Evans, Head Girl, top marks, top on everyone's list, most wanted, most loved, and as popular as the Marauders to the nines—and then some. So what's her extreme and unnatural fascination to the rain? Utterly alone?

* * *

Chapter One: Storm's Coming 

The rain drizzled lightly and the clouds above thundered—threatening to overtake anyone caught out there as if they were a mile long lightning-rod. The sounds it made upon the lake seemed to hardly connect with the lake as it made ripples upon its otherwise perfect surface—disturbing any fish that might be underneath the watery surface. The grass was green and fresh, revelling in the blessing from heaven before the cold winter came and threatened its life.

Everything in the grounds were silent and everyone was inside, enjoying a hot cup of cocoa—as the rain was unusually cold today and only idiots or those very close to insanity were caught outside. The fire was warm, chasing off the scare of cold that the rain gave. Laughter and smiles could be heard throughout all the common rooms. Heart-felt greetings were given to those coming in from the cold and a touch and a smile from that special someone was all you needed to warm yourself up.

All those warm feelings were absent out in the rain. The rain stole something away from you—and gave nothing in return for keeping it company. It stole away everything—your happiness, your dreams, your desires, yourself and everything you are. It became a part of you until your heart beats in tune with the raindrops—to you, slowly splattering on the ground. It stole away everything from you and gave itself in return—gave nothing in return. The rain was nothing and yet everything.

Sitting out in the rain, in a section by the lake secluded from the eyes of passing students at a window, Lily sat at the edges of the lake. The giant squid was not much of a rain person and, generally, Lily was out here every chance she got—even skipping one or two classes. This slight lack of responsibility due to her obsessive-like behaviour made McGonagall her least favourite teacher because she came down upon her hardest for it.

The rain fell down and soaked every bit of her. It was unnaturally cold and Lily felt it take away more of herself now than it ever had before. Something was going to change this year. Six years of sitting out in the rain for as long as she could and getting sick as a result of it would change this year. In her seventh year, something would happen, something would change and for the first time in her life, the rain was giving her more by taking everything away this time.

Thankfully, no one knew about this secluded area—except for when it was sunny and bright—where all manner of good feelings were present. No one came here when it was cold, wet and raining. Especially when the rain took those feelings away from you—everyone thrived on happiness.

Popular in every way; with teachers, with boys, with friends, Lily found solace in the rain—the rain where she had nothing. The clouds above her would not care whether she failed a course, or whether she dated that boy or even whether she died the next day—it hardly even cared whether she was happy or not. Her fascination with the rain could hardly even be explained by herself—it was just natural and since she was five, she stood at the window, hours a day, watching the rain fall.

The clouds above growled hungrily and lightning flashed among its altitudes. Lights in the castle turned on and Lily glanced at her watch to see the time. It was supper now and she was to make a speech for the beginning of the year to the first years and returning students. She was made Head Girl this year—something that delighted her parents to no end. The boy opposite her—James Potter—was an unlikely candidate and she hardly cared to dwell upon why such a delinquent was chosen.

Getting up, she stood for a while, at the edge of the lake. The rain fell upon her, soaking through her robes and falling down her face and through her hair—making it somewhat frizzy and soft at the same time. Lily had envious hair—when it behaved and when it was fresh out of the rain. Water did not do it—rain did. Funny how the rain took away so much from her, but gave it all back once she was gone. It was almost as if it needed to strip it all away to bring her down to its level.

Normally, after getting up, Lily would be walking towards the castle. However, she also loved the rain because no one could ever see her cry in it.

* * *

Whoa, these 'page break' things are soooo cool. Like, wicked cool. 

Anyway, this is 'RAIN' A personal favourite I like to write. It's... ah, I can't completely describe it. I can tell you I like writing this one lots. And the chapters are short, but I'm satisfied with the way they turn out every time.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	2. Love, Life and Popularity

Chapter Two: Love, Life and Popularity

"Lily! Where have you been? You're all wet! Not out mucking about in the rain again, are you?" asked a cheerful Emily Richardson.

Emily Richardson was always superbly happy—expecting the best of everyone and never seeing the bad in anyone. Currently she was dating Tom Jordan—someone she claimed to marry one day.

Lily smiled brightly. "I was not mucking! It's very soothing, you should try it," she suggested lightly. This was the answer she gave anyone who asked why she was out in it. McGonagall had even given her a detention for it because she thought it was disrespectful. However, after further inspection, her _most esteemed_ teacher of her worst subject decided that this was just how Lily was and she had to put up with it for seven years.

Emily sighed. "Well, there's a certain boy who's been asking about you _all over_. Dreadful, isn't it?"

Lily's eyes lit up. This game was old and nothing about it was new—she was simply in first place and a lead like that could not be given up so easily. Her title was _Unreachable_ because everyone was of the firm belief she was too good for them and they could only do but try.

"Who?" she asked hungrily, already devising her hand and picking out her cards—since she held them all.

"Sirius Black! What a womanizer! Can you believe that?"

Indeed, Black was a constant player and a constant nuisance. Black had reached nearly unranked levels in this game and was very much desired by the ladies—however he had taken dates and she had taken none. It seemed that the best of the best wanted to try his hand at shattering her title. It would not do.

"I think I can because he's headed this way with Potter."

Emily opened her mouth in amusement before taking a spot next to Lily as Black strode up to her, strapping shoulders and all. Sizing him up, Lily concluded that Sirius Black was like some shoddy, poorly done reincarnation of Casanova. He was like Romeo on a very bad day.

Flashing his award-winning smile at her, he quirked his eyebrow ever so slightly—this was the face of a tiger—of someone who wanted to test his mettle and win the affections of Lily Evans the _Untameable_ and ever so _Unreachable_.

"Evans, I think it's a funny coincidence how you and I seem to meet all over this school."

Lily laughed lightly. "I think it's a funny coincidence how you manage to fail at this sad attempt to win me over _every_ time you try. You're almost as bad as that Johnson idiot," she said in relaxed tones.

Simply grinning, showing no fear and showing no signs of relenting at this, Sirius continued. "A sad coincidence indeed. Perhaps, for once, we should break coincidence and you go out on a date with me?"

Of course, this was only the tip of the iceberg for her. Laughing shrilly, she finished with a sigh, shaking her head. "Pathetic attempt, Black. Is that all that the _wonderful and charming_ Sirius Black is capable of? I think I've been tempted to kiss a toad more when it's croaked at me than you after saying all that rubbish. I'll not have you, Black, and I can hardly understand the female who does. Farewell, you pompous idiot. Come on, Emily, let's go chat with Alicia."

James roared with laughter at his friend's ill luck while Sirius just stood there—once again—looking like a goldfish, opening and closing his mouth with such repetition he'd make a very good impersonation.

As Lily crossed the floor to sit with her best friend of fourteen years, Alicia Rose, she pondered—as she often did—upon James Potter. He was obviously not blind to the fairer sex—but he had never made any failed attempts at her—regardless of how many times his sad excuse for a friend did. It was interesting and she often wanted to ask—but they hardly knew each other and never spent time with each other. Aside from that, asking such a question in front of even a single soul would almost immediately take off that non-existent label of 'Lily likes… er' with 'Lily likes James Potter.' If there was anything in this school that got around faster than a bad rumour and bad fashion, it was news about her and those that were near her same social level.

Liking James Potter, or anyone for that matter, was highly out of the question until they were out of school. Supposedly, her plan was to marry Sirius Black by the time it would be too late to find anyone else anyway—granted that he was that persistent. It was hardly a choice because she didn't even remotely _liked_ him.

"Evans, nice shot there, saw his wings wither and die like a tortured rabbit."

Alicia had amusing humour and was always refreshing to be around. It made Lily look forward to the next time they saw each other. Rose was her closest friend and knew her best—but even she was mystified as to why someone like Lily would spent the majority of time out in the rain if it was, indeed, raining.

Shaking her head, Lily sighed. "Rabbits hardly have wings, Rose; what an impossibility."

Alicia winked. "Just like the chances that Black has got with you."

Lily laughed. "Point made!"

Sitting down across from, surrounded by all her other friends that Lily hardly considered close friends, she enjoyed a very social dinner after casting a quick-dry spell on herself. Thankfully, none of the boys had made further attempts to win her heart over tonight—after seeing the very public display of Black's failed attempt. Lily's mean streak of shooting them down without remorse in the cruellest of ways continued.

The dinner chat was idle and Lily made short work of it by the time she was finished her meal. Samantha Greenwood was now going out with Amos Diggory after he had made a failed attempt to ask Lily out. Poor girl, she really liked Johnson, but Johnson had it bad enough for Lily as to make a sad and pathetic excuse as to why she should go out with him. Samantha could do so much better than an idiot.

Taking the first opportunity at hand, Lily darted away to the nearest exit and made silent and secretive tracks for the lake. As she crossed the Quidditch pitch, as she was wont to do, she caught sight of a queer sight that made her take a second look. There, up in the sky, about fifty meters above her—well above what the players generally played at—was a boy of unidentifiable identity.

Looking straight up, she saw him just float there for a while as a little gold fleck seemed to flit around him and he repeatedly caught it. Wearing gold and scarlet robes, she identified that, perhaps, this boy was the seeker of Gryffindor. It was a little shocking to see someone else out in the rain this cold, but she didn't completely rule out the possibility. Only idiots or those very close to insanity came out in the rain willingly. Lily was neither and thus the exception.

Blinking back her thoughts as he had caught sight of her and started to bring himself down to the ground with the rest of the population, she stood there, now soaking wet, in front of a soaking wet James Potter.

This, to say the least, was unexpected.

Rapping her mind to see if he was currently dating anyone, Lily came to the conclusion that he was not and had not since it didn't work out with him and Patricia Ryerson. Patricia told everyone she could about how sweet and wonderful he was, though. It was the same report through his other numerous girlfriends—although not as numerous as Blacks.

"Evening, Evans; what are you doing out in this dismal weather?" he asked politely.

"Oh? Me? Well… the rain is very soothing—that is to say, it calms my nerves." Nine point five times out of ten, Lily was as sweet as sugar to people—the exception being boys who asked her out and Sirius Black and Terry Johnson. For them she had no pity. "What about you?"

Smirking, James held up his broom. "This kind of weather is good seeker training. If you go up high enough, there's a mad wind. Notice how I stayed in that one spot? Imagine trying that in wind blowing so hard that it could rip trees off their foundations. I can hardly understand why you find that soothing—but to each their own."

Lily smiled. "Exactly. Well, I won't keep you, James—oh, and, if I may ask… never mind. I'll see you later. Good luck with the game tomorrow," she said cordially, walking off.

James nodded. "Hey, Evans!"

Stopping in her tracks, Lily turned to face him, eyebrows raised. "Yes?"

"Would you go out with me?"

Opening her mouth for a cutting comment, Lily closed it, shaking her head. "No," she said simply, walking off towards her spot. The next time she glanced back, she saw him back up in the sky, playing with his golden snitch.

Once at her usual spot, Lily looked up into the sky. James had asked that question knowing the answer—but now it made her question that she was going to ask him irrelevant. The rain fell upon her face and trailed down—outlining her face to a dime. It soaked into her hair and for the third time that day, made her robes sopping wet.

Crossing her legs, she looked out into the lake. One way or another, the James Potter was later—the rain was here, it was now, and would not be here again for a while. Snow was much too traitorous, and fair and lovely days were much too giving and generous in nature.

"I've done nothing with myself. There's nothing to say about me. No one will care if I'm gone or not—not truly care. Alicia will find a new best friend and my parents have that wretch of a sister to dote upon. I'm an unnecessary aspect to this world—superficial and fake in every way shape and form," she said with such conviction that anyone standing near her who did not know her would believe every syllable.

Like a flash of lightning, Lily felt tears burn her eyes and face, falling down and mixing in with the rain—hopefully not killing any blades of grass enjoying the rain near her. Lying back, she now faced the sky, letting her hands stay at her sides. The rain now hit every part of her, soaking every inch of her that was facing the sky while the grass that had collected so much water already soaked into her robes.

"I've only the rain as my friend… because it's the only one that's seen me cry... I'm… I'm superfluous to this world. Unimportant, unloved and nothing."

"You're something to _somebody_."

Lily snapped up and looked straight at James Potter, standing just above her, broom in hand—water dripping off the bridge of his nose and falling down all his features. Lily blinked. Heat and warmth was absent from him—as it was absent from anyone out in the rain, but rain _gave_ him something. It made him something more than she had perceived him to be. Lily found herself pondering this quickly before pushing it to the back of her mind as she got up.

"I… well, of course I am," she said, slightly unsure of herself. No one had ever caught her out in the rain while she mused to herself—talked to herself and talked to the rain—who was cruel and forgiving. "I mean a lot to my parents and everyone at school loves me, of course I mean something to someone," she said with a smile—as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "How did you come to find me here?"

James shrugged. "You see a lot when you're that high up in the air trying to keep your balance. It's pretty cold out here, don't you think?"

It was hard to be something out in the rain when you knew it took everything away from you. It was hard to simply be your _mask_ when out in the horridly cold rain. It was hard to keep up appearances when this boy—who had previously been a speck on the radar—now broke your radar.

Now she saw it. The rain gave him authority. James Potter—at this moment, was her authority figure and she knew that anything he asked of her she would've done willingly—except unless that was to go out on a date with him. Sense had somewhat returned to her a bit to register that her title _is_—and should forever stay—_is__Unreachable._ Getting up, she smiled slightly. "Perhaps. I rather like it, though. You can't imagine… you should go inside, James, you'll catch your death of cold out here."

Smiling sadly almost, he sighed. "I understand. I'll see you around, Evans."

Just as he started walking off, Lily—without her own permission—called back out to him. "Call me Lily!"

James stopped and turned halfway to look at her. "What's that?"

There, here was a chance that she could take it back—take it back and nothing would change. However, change was bound to happen regardless of all her efforts. It would forever undermine her and ignore any authority. It was change and had authority over everything in this world.

"Call me Lily," she repeated.

James smiled. "I'll see you around, Lily."

Watching him walk off—leaving her alone, Lily stood there for a while until he was gone from sight. Kneeling down on the grass, she looked at the lake forlornly. Change had hit her and her only friend in the world had been the one to bring it about. It had betrayed her by telling her it would happen. It betrayed her by giving her something. However, that something, so far, was, as of yet, to be undecided.

Feeling her tears grace her face again, she closed her eyes and adjusted herself so she was hugging her knees up to her chest while she stared out at the lake, crying as the rain hid it all so masterfully.

Once again, it was as if nothing changed and once again, the rain took everything away from her except her thoughts.

* * *

To My Reviewers:

Skye: Aw... thanks, love, you make my day.

truefairy lights: Eh, not really. I just got the idea one day. Kind of playing off an "Alone in a Crowd" kind of thing. Oops, said too much.

Comments:

Ah... Hmm. Yes.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	3. Twists of Fate

Chapter Three: Twists of Fate

"…and James Potter. I expect your ten-page reports by next Friday. Do not be late with them."

Lily sighed and turned to Alicia. "I hope that boy will be more a student than the delinquent he so very much is for the majority of this project."

Alicia smiled. "Ah, James is sweet, but he's got a real mean annoying streak to him. He'll be fine as a partner. I swear, every year, the teachers take bets on whether the Head Boy and Girl will end up marrying each other. Remember Wethersett and Finnegan?"

Shuddering slightly, Lily shook her head. "Perish the thought. Between you and me, my plan is to marry Sirius Black once school's over. By then the social ladder will have shattered in the real world," she said in a hushed voice.

Raising her eyebrows slightly, Alicia was amused, but hardly surprised at this answer. "Good point. He'll be right for you in the end, I think. Although his family is a bit muddled—"

"Miss Rose, would you care to share your opinions with Miss Evans to the class?"

Alicia just smiled and shook her head. "I'm terribly sorry, Professor, shan't let it happen again."

McGonagall nodded firmly. "See that it doesn't. Your projects will be due in a month and is worth a third of your grade. This is your NEWT year; I had better be impressed by these projects. You may find your partner and begin immediately. That means you too, Miss Evans."

Lily smiled sweetly at her until her back was turned—where she glared at her back. As Alicia split up to find her own partner, Lily stood up to see that James had taken the courtesy of walking over to where she was. Smiling slightly at his manners, she sat back down as he sat down next to her—a reasonable distance away.

"Well then, Evans, what should our project be about?"

Slightly put off for some unknown reason that he had not called her by her name, she decidedly assumed that he did not want to be anything but civilized around her—which was wholeheartedly refreshing. Only her cousins cared to be so courteous around her.

Lily shrugged. "I hardly have any idea. You're the one with top marks in this class. I'm wretched at this subject and McGonagall hates me for it."

Smirking, James shook his head. "You just got to approach it reasonably. I don't think she hates you… on the contrary I think you're her favourite."

An appalled look spread across her face. "If _that's_ favouritism, I'm a duck," she declared loudly.

"You'd make an awful cute one," came a low voice somewhere nearby.

Snorting, Lily turned around and sneered at Sirius. "You don't quit, do you, Black?" she said with an exasperated sigh. "I'm sure I'd make a brilliant duck; what a shame you'd make such an ugly duckling that I would hardly be able to stand your horrid presence—much like now in fact."

Shaking his head, he sighed. "Lily, it really is a shame that I find your company… most enjoyable. Even with that bucket load of dry wit and sarcasm stuffed up your head."

"Flattered, really," she said with a sneer. "Mind your own, Black; I've no time for idiots like you." Turning back around, she shook her head slightly and sighed before turning to James. "Why does he always come after me? So bloody annoying. Next time, off him for me, would you?"

Shrugging, James smiled. "I'll see what I can do. Are you free after dinner? We can work on the project a bit more."

Lily blinked. It had been successively raining for the past three days and the overcast promised more by this evening. "Afraid not, I've got plans made already."

"No problems, then. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Ah… well, we'll see, James. I have to check with the girls, you know. Things change, plans change and all that. But no, really, if I've got nothing else, I'll come find you."

"Sounds good."

Lily nodded in affirmative and they chatted about their project for the rest of the period. Overall, he seemed like a pretty normal person—nothing like the delinquent she had heard him to be. If he was deliberately being calm and docile around her, then it was an act, and like all acts it would fade over time. Lily's act was hardly there, so it entirely didn't count towards anything at all. When the rain came, it was washed clean.

Once the class was over and everyone was leaving, Lily packed up her bag and things and headed off towards lunch. Their evening classes were postponed for the day due to the Quidditch game against Durmstrang today. They had chosen the best of the best within the school and the best of the best at Durmstrang. Beauxbatons hardly qualified amongst the other wizarding schools out there. Those in Kent were due to come some time next month for a match.

Sitting down next to Alicia, she sighed. "What a tiring morning it's been, I think I'm coming down with something, Rose."

Alicia groaned. "It's because you stay out in the sodding rain, love. Rain makes you sick—I don't know what's your fascination with it. It's cold, wet, heartless and cruel."

Lily frowned. "What about snow? Snow is much harsher."

"Snow is fluffy and cold and white. The only bad thing about snow is that it melts and blinds you like crazy when you step outside."

"Understandable enough, but what about if it—"

"Evans! My hearts true desire!"

"—comes in such abhorring amounts as to shut you in during your Christmas break?"

"Well, then, I say we transfigure ourselves a couple of muggle snowboards and escape off through the astronomy tower."

"Are you mad?" Lily asked shockingly.

The extreme fear of heights she had attested to this outrage. Lily was afraid of heights in general—the worst being when there was nothing to prevent her from being taken to a very flat doom.

"Mad about you, love," Sirius persisted.

Lily sighed and turned to look at him, a smirk dotting her face. "Sirius, darling, this game is so very old—and pathetic," she said in sarcastic tones. "When will you ever learn that _you_ will _never_ be good enough for _me_? Yes, Black, a man certainly _can_ dream," she said, beating him to the cut as he opened his mouth to say it.

Shaking his head lightly, he sighed. "Bless me, you know me too well, love. So, seeing as how you are so acquainted with me seemingly without my consent, how about we properly get acquainted with each other mutually? In both respects?"

Lily groaned. "Shut your trap, Black, I'll have none of this nonsensical garbage plaguing my ears during lunch. Go back to your geek squad and hordes of adoring brainless idiots—for, to like you, requires no brain present else they throw up at the mere sight of you let alone presence. You are appalling to me, Sirius Black, and you've outlived your nonexistent welcome."

"Tsk, tsk, love, you are too cruel. Fine, I'll leave you be for now. The beautiful Miss Evans, the equally charming Miss Rose," he said, bowing to both of them like a gentleman.

Lily snorted. "Prattish idiot."

Alicia smiled and laughed. "Yes, but if you remember correctly, soon enough he'll be _your_ prattish idiot, yes?"

Lily sighed and shook her head sorrowfully. "Sad shame that. Remind me to look for alternatives."

"Of course. Fortunately for me, I am quite happy with my current boyfriend, Sean Patil."

Scoffing, Lily shook her head. "That is not a relationship of any kind besides one that takes place in the halls consisting primarily of words like 'how do you do' type of thing. I can hardly see any attachment you have to that boy. Couldn't be shallow just in one area, could you, Rose?"

Alicia snorted. "What is, is, Evans, there's hardly anything I can do about that. When will _you_ wake up and smell the roses and realize that you really only want one man in your life—Sirius Black."

Sighing, Lily smiled and laughed. "Such a charmer, he is. Not sure I can stand that for every day of my entire life. Anyway, I'm off, I'll see you at curfew—I've got patrols with the Head Boy later on."

"Yes. James Potter would make quite the catch, don't you think? He's not as charming as Sirius, but he has his own favourable traits about him."

Shrugging, Lily got up from her chair. "James Potter is further down on the social chain than Black. Sure, he's nice and sweet and charming in his own way, but let's face it, James Potter will simply _never_ be Lily Evans material."

Alicia quirked an eyebrow and gave that sceptical face of hers. "You'd be surprised at just how high up he really is."

Shaking her head, firmly not believing it, Lily glanced over at him. "No… I don't think he'll be surprising me any time in the future at all." Finishing up her plate, Lily rose from her rather enjoyable social lunch. "Now, if you don't mind, I have some rather urgent business to attend to."

As she walked away, she could hear Alicia sigh in the background and mutter something under her breath. It was just like Alicia to worry over her friend for nothing. Well, have no fear, Rose, Lily Evans will not be picking up and running off with the first or last sprat of a boy she meets.

Heading outside, she stood in the doorway for a moment, looking at the rain as it fell around the area. The rain had not let up—and as much as she liked to sit out in the rain for hours in a day, she hardly wanted to show up to her next class of the day wet. It was actually quite surprising that it had gone on for so long—as it had already been raining straight for the past two days.

Sighing slightly she was suddenly aware of someone else near her and she groaned. "Black if you—"

"Not Sirius," he said simply.

Indeed, it wasn't. James Potter stood right next to her—for the most part with her not knowing it. He had been staring out at the rain just like her—as if he had the same fascination with it as she did. It was slightly refreshing to know that someone besides her simply liked looking at it rain falling. It was such a letdown to realize that he probably didn't. Lily would've known if anyone else besides her was out in the rain. She didn't stay by her spot all the time.

"Oh… hello, James, how are you? Sorry for that."

James smiled and turned to her. His hazel eyes lacked warmth and instead were cold and lacked anything at all. Lily always believed that the door to a person's soul was through their eyes, but James Potter seemed to have locked that door and thrown away the key to everyone. It was intriguing… but Lily hardly cared to find out why.

"I'm doing well. I hope you're the same. We have charms next together, don't we?"

"Indeed, we do. What are you doing here, staring out at the rain like a crazy man?" she asked lightly, hoping to foster some sort of relationship. If she was to run into him so often she might as well get to know him at the very least.

James just shrugged. "It's soothing. That's what you stare out at it for, isn't it?"

No. "Yes, it _is_ soothing, isn't it? I quite enjoy the rain; it gives you something special that nature keeps to itself for the rest of the time."

"What's that?"

"That's… that's quite a mystery, but it gives you something."

The rain gave you nothing and was the black child of nature since nature was the one that gave you everything. Nature gave you solitude, quiet, peace of mind and clarity in your life. If everything crashed around you and your life was torn away, nature gave you a place where you could forever be at peace. Rain was the exact opposite and took all that away. It was soothing, but that was a fringe benefit of being emptied.

"Rain is a mystery, then. Perhaps we're just intrigued as to what that mystery is?"

"Perhaps."

"Are you still busy later this evening?"

No. "Yes, quite busy. Now, I think I shall head to Charms early. There is little point in staring at the rain when classes are on. Accompany a girl?" she asked. It was a rare thing she asked to any boy—as she moved from class to class with Alicia quite regularly. Generally, this would be a red flag for any ordinary boy, except James Potter, in fact, did not seem that ordinary.

Shaking his head, he sighed. "Sorry, I've got to go meet Sirius. I was actually just on my way. I guess I'll see you in class."

"I guess so," she said smoothly.

It was a little bit of a shock to see him walk away without her—as she had so kindly and easily given him the momentous honour of having been able to walk Lily Evans to class. Lily Evans; head girl, queen of popularity and so far up the social ladder that any ordinary person could not even hope to see her. All in the matter of a few simple words she had been turned down on an offer. It was a bit refreshing to know that not every boy cared to chase her. It was also a bit mystifying.

Smiling to herself, she just decided to chop it up to the mysteries of James Potter. However, she hardly cared to find out what those mysteries were.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Thanks all, loves, you do me wonders.

Comments:

Blergh. This wasn't as well written I don't think. But I didn't want to change it because it gets the point across. I mean, if you got the point that is.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	4. Little Hope

Chapter Four: Little Hope

"…and this is the constellation that the muggles refer to as 'Orion.' Pray tell why you need to know constellations for muggle studies?"

Alice Travers shrugged. "Sure as bloody hell beats me. They say that it's something that muggles generally know about—so that's why we're studying it."

"Your sister-in-law is muggle, isn't she? Doesn't she tell you about these things?"

"We hardly spend together. It's not a wonder since my brother is on the other side of the world, studying the moss species in the South Pole. Poor girl hates the cold to death; she was originally from Kent, you know."

Lily's eyebrows rose in wonder. "Oh my, how awful. My pity to her."

"Definitely. I can't even floo her or anything. Owls there are local. They even had to hop aboard a ferry to get there. She hates it there but that's what you do for love, I suppose."

Lily had her own very strong opinions about love, but she was hardly going to share them with someone she hardly knew. Alice Travers seemed to be very much in 'love' with some boy named Frank Longbottom. Hardly a fair match and Alice could do so much better than him. Then again, not everyone cared to be popular—even if it was a slight obsession with a school like this.

Sometimes Lily wondered herself how she managed to scale so high among purebloods. Everyone she knew that she regularly talked to was pureblood. Maybe they just don't know. One way or another, she never really hid the fact that she was muggleborn—it's hard to express your hatred for vacuums and not have anyone know about your heritage.

"I suppose. Well, anyway, this constellation is called Cygnus. My sister tells me that her idiot boyfriend has some sort of plans to propose to her under a starry night. I laughed and told her that that was hardly going to happen because there is always wretched overcast and on most nights the stars are hardly visible. Petunia is so very naïve."

"Petunia? Isn't she older than you? I thought she hated you because you're a witch and she's not."

Lily shrugged. "She wants to have some sort of tie with me now. Now, when, before she hardly wanted anything to do with me _because_ I'm a witch. You see, her boyfriend has cousins that attend Durmstrang. One outing I was sitting with them and Petunia, Vernon not present, and they just started talking about their Potions class. Petunia caught on and was shocked to her utter core that she was not the only one related to something she had termed a freak. Quite shocking news to myself, actually. Been a royal pain in the neck since. That girl honestly has no wits about her."

"Dreadful. I can't believe people like that. One second we're freaks and lowlifes, the next we're like angels on earth. "

Nodding Lily sighed. "Ah… bless me; I've got a gossiping tongue today. Sorry for that, Travers. Anyway, this is Cassiopeia, and over here is Taurus, and that's Ursa Minor and Ursa Major—although their more commonly know as the little and big dipper. They look like spoons, you see," she added after seeing her confused look.

Alice nodded. "And that's all, isn't it? I mean, I've been told that not even all muggles know these things. It'll be odd if we know too much, don't you think?"

"Utterly, but no helping that, is there? That's what we're set to learn, whether we need or use it or not."

"Thanks, Evans, you've been a great help."

Lily smiled sweetly. "Any time, love."

As Alice packed up her star charts she started to leave, waving good bye. Lily waved back in return and sighed. Now she could finally get in some reading time. The rain was nice and she gleaned from any chance she could get to go out in it, but there was Quidditch practice going on and today she was in the mood for either her spot by the lake—so very visible to some players she realized—or not. It would not do to simply walk around in the rain today.

"Lily Evans… love of my life. What brings you to this very lonely part of school?"

Lily scoffed. "It is the _library_, Black, and the only reason you find it lonely is because you have no brain with which to keep the books company. Your presence here is quite shocking—and at the same time appalling."

"Wit as sharp as ever, I see. Like a butcher's knife, but dressed up as a rose and all other manner of pretty things. Do me the honour of accompanying this poor soul to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

Furrowing her brow, she looked at him sadly. "As you are well aware, Black, I have no intention of doing anything harmful to my well being. Such a thing would not be very healthy, correct?"

"Naturally," he responded with, what seemed, all the goodwill of the world.

"Then I'm afraid just being so close to you is very debilitating to my health and well being. Shame that, isn't it? If you don't understand that, then let me put it this way: Go away you slimy, filthy piece of trash; I hope I never have to associate or speak or even contact you in any way shape or form ever again. I hope you have a wretched day," she said sweetly, as if she had just told him to have the opposite.

Getting up, she started to walk away, quite aware of the fact that he was following her. "But, Lily, think about how good for both of us it would be if you put your name beside Sirius Black."

"Merlin, that would be awful. What a nightmare; I hope that shall _never_ happen. You're like the plague, Black, shall I never get rid of you?"

"Never ever," he said glibly, wagging his eyebrows.

"Hey, Sirius, leave her alone for a second. If I knew this was where you'd run off to I'd never have let you leave."

Looking around for her saviour, she saw James, walking up to them as if it was the most natural thing on the planet. The spark was back in his eyes and she wondered if it wasn't just because he was not staring at the rain. Maybe he was not immune to rain after all. Maybe she thought too highly of him because of that.

"Hello, James, how are you this fine evening? I'm sure you have some very important business to do with this filth that stands so very much beside me. Well, I truly wish I could stay, but I must be off. Urgent matters." It was said with such speed and alacrity of tongue that it was a wonder that her mouth did not resemble a gun so the bullets, like syllables, would fire much smoother.

"Fare thee well, Lily love," Sirius called out after her. As she walked away, she could hear Sirius somewhat complaining to James about how he ruined the moment—even though there was no moment to be had.

The first destination Lily made was to be out in the rain. The first step she took was muddy and splashy. The rain had been heavy for the last little while and was starting to let up. It would end some time this evening—as only a light drizzle now hit her head, soaking her hair to its roots.

Taking slow, measured steps to her favourite spot, she marvelled at how the plants had soaked up the rain and were now calling out desperately for the sun. The rain gave life, but it also gave death in some regards. When it did, that death was slow, painful and often humiliating—for the rain cared little for anything other than itself—it was selfish and selfless at the same time. Then again, there was really very little to stop it. Anyone who can honestly say they could must be God and no less.

Sitting down on the very wet grass, she looked up into the sky and saw it already beginning to clear up. It would be a fine morning after this and clear blue skies were predicted. However, it was a miracle it was still rain and not snow. Clouds in the far west could be seen from the astronomy tower, threatening to blanket the place in a thick layer of snow—snow like none have ever seen. The divinations teacher—who had a ninety percent accuracy for weather predictions and a sixty percent accuracy for all other predictions—had said that the storm would be here roughly nine days after the morning the rain stopped.

Sighing, Lily lay back on the grass and closed her eyes. This entire week had been utter hell. Sirius had, for some strange reason unknown to her, been trying to win her over harder than ever. Then again, when she thought about it, he had just been acting the same way he usually did about two months before Christmas break. Had some silly dream to be able to invite her over for the Holidays successfully. The key word being successful in that he was not in the least.

Working with James every Transfigurations class had told her many things about that mysterious boy. For instance, he was not as mysterious as before. Now, she held a semi-friendship with him when she was keen to realize he was not just doing this for her attentions. It hardly seemed likely that he would even try his hand. It was shame though, because his sweetness and charm certainly would've gotten far enough for her to be on at least reasonable terms with him even if he was.

"What a mystery… everything there is to know and I hardly know anything… shame, shame, shame."

"What's a shame?"

Lily snapped her eyes open to see James hovering over her—as he was wont to do when he found her out in the rain. Sitting up, she sighed. "That I hardly know anything about you," she said honestly.

James sat down next to her. The last few times, he had brought an umbrella. Lily abruptly had remembered things that needed her attention and prematurely left the rain to go finish them. This time, he brought none—which meant that he was, at least, learning something about _her_ even if she still knew nothing about this mystery sitting beside her a comfortable distance away.

"What would you like to know?" he asked laughing, as if it was really very ridiculous to him that someone like her would want to know about him. "I've nothing to hide."

Quirking an eyebrow, she smirked. "Really? I can ask you anything at all? Well, any crushes? Anything that makes your blood rush to speeds that make your head swim?"

"Quidditch. Wait, I don't think that counts, does it?"

Lily laughed. It was well-placed humour. James only seemed to use it with her and she liked that about him. "No, James, it doesn't."

Frowning, he folded his legs and hunched over in thought. "Well, I can hardly think of any. How about you? Have _you_ anything to hide, Lily Evans?"

"Now, what's a girl without secrets, hmm? I'm no scarlet woman but definitely a mystery."

"Which is an oxymoron in itself. Are you calling yourself an oxymoron or just a moron? Because if you are, it isn't true. You're the brightest bulb there is on a Christmas tree."

Laughing she sighed. It was a wonder how he made her laugh so easily. Then again, she had long ago chocked that up to the fact that he was James Potter and he was mysterious to her. She wondered—she hoped—that she was at least some sort of mystery to him. The alternative was so… unwanted that she didn't care to think about it.

Shaking her head in dismay as she got a hold of her ability to laugh, she sighed. "But really, James, do you think I'm mysterious; or at least questionable to most?"

"You, Lily Evans, are as mysterious as mud—but seemingly as shallow as water."

Drawing her brows together, wondering whether he had just insulted her or not, Lily frowned. "Shallow? You think I'm shallow?" she asked, slightly affronted.

Nodding, James smiled. "To certain degrees. For instance, when you're happy, you choose to show yourself happy. When you're in a crowd, everyone knows you're there because it's almost like you stand above a soapbox declaring your happiness to the world. You're ever so sweet and kind to others as well. I also occasionally see you tutoring others in the library…"

What rubbish. Lily was always alone in a crowd. Maybe James had learned nothing from her in these few times they were alone with each other—with only the rain to keep each other company at times.

"So, I'm shallow because I'm apparent? Well, it's not exactly a compliment, but it's not an insult either. One way or another, thanks for that."

If he meant it as she interpreted it, really, it meant that everyone else was shallow and so very obvious too. Why would you want to hide happiness? When you're happy, you show the world. Lily? Lily could hardly define herself as 'happy.' Satisfied and content perhaps, but never, not once in her entire life of nearly seventeen years, could she ever say she was _happy_. Lily Evans hardly deserved happiness in her own honest opinion.

Lily Evans, head girl, queen of despair, most unwanted, most unloved, and most definitely not shallow and happy.

"Well, anyway, back to my point, I was wondering if you could help me with Potions, seeing as how you're so proficient and loved by Slughorn."

Laughing, she shook her head. "I see your game now, James Potter. This was all a ruse to get me to tutor you in potions. All you had to do was ask. Sure, we can start this Friday. Professor Slughorn is a bloated idiot and probably drugged up on something muggle."

Smirking amusedly, he quirked an eyebrow. "Professors all have such high opinions of Lily Evans, but it seems that the same is not true the other way."

Lily shrugged. "They are all conceited. The little times I have seen of Dumbledore he has proven to be, at least, humble about what he really is. Professor Dumbledore has my highest opinions."

"A rare honour, indeed," he said laughingly. "Well, tutoring was all I wanted to ask for and I had a feeling I would find you out here, mucking about, to ask it. I'll leave you to your soothing rain, then. See you later, Lily," he said, getting up and walking away.

"'til next time, James," she said with a small wave of her hand.

When he was out of sight, she crossed her legs and closed her eyes.

She felt the rain come down upon her, drenching her in the cold despair she felt inside. However, it almost lacked effort in taking everything away. It was there, trying, but she could still feel that she had something. When she lay back and look up at the sky, she saw the overcast slightly starting to let up and she sighed.

Today the rain did not affect her like it usually did. Clearing her mind of anything unnecessary—allowing her to focus on her life; she found that her thoughts once again settled itself pondering over that mystery in her life. After a long while of realizing this, she gasped slightly.

The rain was affecting her like it usually did today.

James Potter was the one that affected her differently today.

That boy, that mystery in her life, he… he gave her something in the rain when even he himself had nothing in the rain. The rain was nothing and gave nothing, making you nothing. How could there be _anything_ at all in that? It was so… so curious and so… unwanted that it made her want to think about it all the more and—

"It's none of my business and I hardly want to dwell upon it," she said finally. Getting up, she made her way from out of the rain. It would not rain again for weeks—and even then the rain would quickly turn to snow as December quickly approached.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Lilybet Edyvean: Realize that, love, but imagine himself playing around with a Quaffle all his lonesome.

eternalhope08: I thought it was a bit repetitive too, but I want to give the audience an impression of what the rain is to Lily and why it fascinates her. My whole goal was to make her seem perfect in every way, for reasons of my own, to make the story work for the future. I understand she IS hard to relate to--I can't even relate to her. It's typical, it's annoying, it's absolutely and utterly _unbelievable_. But it's there, it's what she is at the moment. I wish I could say more on that, but I'd be spoiling too much. All I can really let on is that you'll find out in the future. You're a great help, love, thanks for that. I hope you keep reading and keep criticizing. Got to keep me on my toes, right?

Skye: Her full name is Alicia Rose, yes. :) I'm sorry if it's confusing, but people will constantly be referred back and forth like that.

Comments:

Ugh. I didn't like this chapter either. But nevermind me, what do you think?

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	5. TailorMade

Chapter Five: Tailor-Made

"Lily, you look absolutely ravishing!"

Spinning around in front of the mirror, Lily looked at herself from all possible angles. The dress was indeed beautiful and functioned quite well on its own. All Hogwarts formal events used muggle wear—mostly because it appealed to the ladies much more to see boys dressed top to toe in suits and looking absolutely charming.

The lower years were not allowed at formal parties and only the prefect years and up were allowed to attend. The prefects were all also matched accordingly by the Head Boy and Girl—who generally accompanied each other to these functions. Lily, being a prefect, never had to go about looking for a date on her own. Even now, she was supposed to go with the Head Boy. It was a fringe benefit and that was the only reason that Lily bothered to be a prefect or Head Girl. This made it less possible for her to be a possibility to anyone at all.

"Yes, but I'm not sure if this colour looks well on me. Does it agree, do you think?"

Alicia sighed. "It's a beautiful mix of pink and red, how can it _not_ agree with you? Matches your hair perfectly, love. All these dresses _agree_ with _you_, but do _you_ agree with _them_?"

Sighing, Lily twirled about once again. It was such a wonder how she cared to look this year for any formal function. The Halloween Ball was fast approaching and all the girls were in such a rush to get ready for it. Even Lily, who was generally on top of all things, had decided to buy a new dress. All her others simply didn't seem good enough to show up in next to James Potter.

Groaning suddenly she shook her head. "I'll take this one, but I'll wear it for the Yule Ball. I think I want something… peach for Halloween."

Lily was from a muggle home, and thus she hardly had any money to spend on dresses like this found in the wizarding world, but most dresses like this could be found in the muggle world—a place where her family was ridiculously wealthy in. Generally, she went shopping to dress for functions like this during the summer and winter breaks—but the original dress she had planned to wear suddenly didn't seem good enough—second rate almost.

Fortunately, Alicia Rose was of very average fortune in the muggle world and the exact opposite in the wizarding one. Alicia Rose was bloody rich and splurged on both herself and Lily all the time. During the school year, Alicia picked up the tabs and during the summer and winter months, Lily did.

Alicia sighed. "Lily, you are _too_ picky. I thought you sort this type of thing out early? Far earlier than any of us, anyway." That 'us' just happened to include all the rest of the girls at school—those that were important and those that cared anyway.

Lily sighed. "Yes, but I don't nearly have enough dresses anyway. Besides, muggle dresses can be grown out of. Unless you enchant them to be tailor-made to you, there's hardly any way they'll last."

Giggling a bit, Alicia shook her head. "Not gaining weight, are we?"

Lily scoffed. "Hardly. I just don't want to enchant my dresses. I can't very well bring them all to school to do so either."

Shrugging, Alicia picked out a dark blue one for herself and tried it on, also twirling in the mirror. It was a secret to everyone that Lily admired Alicia's figure because she had the perfect one for wearing dresses—slight shoulders and a small waist. Lily had slightly larger waist than her, but anyone who looked couldn't tell. Lily herself could only tell the small difference.

"Are you ladies doing alright for finding dresses?" came a sweet older voice.

Lily turned and smiled at the store-owner. She was a frequent customer—well, visitor anyway—and so the woman knew them both by name. Every so often she would simply drop by to chat with her as she browsed what was the latest muggle fashion in a wizarding world.

"I think so. I'm actually in the market for a peach dress, to wear to the Halloween ball coming up."

Frowning slightly, the woman shook her head. "No, I don't think peach will do for you, Miss Lily. Perhaps a… dark green or red—like trees or blood."

Lily envisioned herself in such colours and nodded affirmatively. They would match very well with her and as long as the green was dark enough, she could wear it. Lily Evans hated green and thus St. Patrick's Day was her least favourite holiday—as she made a point to wear bright blue and yellow instead as an anti-green sentiment to all who paid attention to care. In her case, this meant the entire school knew of Lily Evans' hatred for the colour green unless it was well-to-do with her eyes—which were a very striking green to her dismay.

September had come and gone and now it was mid-October. All the girls were in a rush to buy their dresses and those who procrastinated were sorely regretful. In general, when Alicia Rose made a point to start buying a dress, it meant that they should as well. It still rained occasionally and sometimes James would come out and keep her company. It was a pleasant change, but Lily had long ago decided that she did not want to ponder on his mystery. If there was anything to know about him, it would reveal itself to her in due time.

For now, Lily was here, buying a dress, to unconsciously impress a boy who did not seem to care one way or another. To unconsciously impress herself to impress a boy she did not care for one way or another. It was curious, but it was what made her even bother to accede to Alicia's demands to buy new dresses for a social function that could not put her more on top than she already was.

"Show me." The tone of her voice spoke volumes of royalty and good breeding, although Lily Evans was simply a ridiculously popular muggle-born witch in a popularity-obsessed school.

The store owner nodded and went in the back, returning quickly with the described colour of dresses. They were both done up very exquisitely and plain in only the waist area. The rest was done up with lace and frills in such a complicated manner it threatened to dazzle you too much. A bow hung on the back of both and the red had an open back with a criss-cross of lace that tied up as bows near the shoulders while the green had just an open back.

Both of them abhorred her to no end for some unexplainable reason—except for that the colours looked splendid and, in turn, would look splendid on her.

"They may not be to your liking; I wasn't sure which you would prefer more."

Shaking her head ruefully, Lily sighed. "I'm sorry, Gladys, but neither of them are very appealing. Have you any other suggestions for me?"

Gladys nodded kindly. "Yes, I do, in fact. This is a special one that just came in—although I only have one in stock. It's magically enchanted and the designer told me that anyone who wore it would be quite pleased."

"Let's have a look, then."

As Gladys rushed off in the back, Alicia came over and leaned over to Lily. "Ooh, Lily! I wonder what it is. I bet it'll look fantastic on you. I think I'm going to get this blue one here, what do you think?"

Lily nodded approvingly at her choice. The dress accentuated her friend's lovely dark blue eyes and complimented oddly to her chocolate brown hair. Lily always wondered at the genetics of her friend's appearances, but decided it was not worth the time to think about if she looked lovely with those traits.

"Excellent choice. Sean won't be able to keep his eyes off you."

Alicia laughed at the compliment and sighed. "Let's hope that your dress has the same effect on Sirius."

Lily scoffed. "My _school robes_ have that effect on Sirius Black."

Alicia laughed again and Gladys had come back out.

The dress she carried was light. It was made of silk and was just plain and white. How anyone could be satisfied with that was a mystery. "It is questionable, but it's in your size exactly; here try it on. I've been told that it's enchanted, but the maker didn't tell how."

Giving the dress another questionable look, Lily took it and went into the change room with it. Slipping out of her red dress, she hung it up on a hook and put on the white one. It certainly was light and still looked the same—it was hard to imagine how—

"Sweet Merlin! What's wrong with this dress!" she cried.

The dress had so quickly changed that Lily had shrieked slightly—being caught off-guard. Where the white simple silk dress was now was replaced with a ravishing red one that agreed with her in every way and seemed to be absolutely perfect for the Halloween ball in every way. It was ideal and it was everything she was looking for.

Coming out, she saw Alicia's mouth drop open and Gladys place a hand over her mouth. "Love, Lily! You look absolutely wonderful! Those boys won't know what hit them!"

Of course, those boys hardly ever knew what hit them when Lily passed by, flashing them all her popular smile that was so agreeable with everyone in the school. Many claimed that they had been hit by heaven or something similar to the Hogwarts Express with a mad driver. Then there were those who claimed to even forget happiness once she was out of sight. Those were the ridiculous fools that Lily hardly knew the faces or names of—the fools that she could only do but be nice to, to show that they could never be worth Lily Evans.

Twirling around in the three-way mirror, Lily could not help but agree. The dress was so agreeable with her and held its own charm, giving her a look that was just so wonderful that it made her look perfect in every way. Indeed, the boys would not be able to keep their eyes on their own dates if she went with this on.

Gladys came and looked at the tag. "My, my, would you look at this. The tag has disappeared and has been replaced with your name embroidered on it. Almost as if it was made for you."

Lily smiled delightedly at herself in the mirror now. "Gladys, I'll take this and the other one. How much is that?"

Gladys just smiled. "I can't charge you for something that's already yours now, can I, Miss Lily? As for the other, that will be thirty galleons."

"I'll take the tab, Gladys, just put it to my name."

Gladys nodded. "Of course, Miss Alicia."

As Gladys left them to go ring it up, Alicia hung slightly off Lily's shoulder. "Oh Lily… you look so amazing! Well, come on then, let's have Gladys package our dresses up and enjoy the rest of Hogsmeade. Quite lucky that we have this Friday off, isn't it?"

Something clicked on the word Friday. "Sweet Merlin! I've promised to tutor James on Fridays!" Waving her wand, Lily was back into her regular clothing and the dress was back to the same white silk it used to be—with her name in replacement of the tag. "Alicia, please take care of my stuff and I'll meet you around five at the Three Broomsticks, I should be done by then."

Waving off Alicia and Gladys as she rushed out, she headed down the street and turned the corner that would lead her back to Hogwarts and rammed into something large and hard. It was a person and she lost her balance, nearly falling over if it weren't for strong hands pulling her back up to her feet by the wrists, quickly letting go after she was balanced.

"Quite the rush you're in, Lily."

Lily looked up at James and sighed. "Oh James, I'm sorry I forgot. It was a day off and—"

"Never mind that, I had been looking for you all morning to tell you to enjoy yourself at Hogsmeade. I guess you got the message unconsciously anyway. No harm done, I didn't spend long looking for you at school. So, Sirius has me on a type of mission, you know."

Within the last few weeks, since the last day it rained, Lily had formed quite the dubious friendship with this boy. They occasionally talked to each other and exchanged greetings in the halls—but they never spent much more than the hour and a half with each other on Fridays for James' Potions tutoring sessions.

It was frightening how they had formed such a friendship with each other with such alacrity. Not once did Lily bother to try and stop to think about it. She did not want to think too deeply on James Potter for some mysteries were best left unsolved. It was even a wonder to herself why she had bothered to associate with someone like him in the first place.

"Really? What ever could that be?"

"To make sure you give him a dance during the ball."

Lily threw her head back in laughter as they began walking with each other—generally, with no destination—or at least none that was to be comprehended. "That boy will not lay a finger on me in the near or distant future. Tell him that Lily Evans will not associate herself with garbage like him and that she sends her deepest hatreds. Besides, you're my date for the ball anyway—I've no choice. I'm no vixen as to ditch you for some other boy. I'll dance with you and only you that night."

Shaking his head, James sighed. "He really likes you, you know that? You're all I hear about from him some days. Your rejection of him just makes him try all the harder."

Huffing, Lily shook her head. "I couldn't care less whether he is madly in love with me; I'll not have him and I pity the woman who does. I've heard he's planned to take Cassia Fornacis to the ball anyway. Questionable that. Seems more like a charity act than anything else. That poor girl… she'll have her heart crushed by the end of the night."

James just shrugged. "Cassia accepted, but she plans to spend the night with Keily Hawkes—mostly so she can hook up with her brother."

Lily nodded. "That's much more reasonable. Anyway, since when do you care what I feel about Sirius Black? It's no mystery that I abhor his very being."

James shrugged again. "Well, it certainly _is_ a mystery to everyone if you even remotely like anyone in that manner."

Sighing, Lily shook her head. "I don't like anyone in _that_ manner, James."

Smiling; James quirked an eyebrow. "Really? Not one person? My, the rumours _are_ true. Lily Evans _is_ too good for everyone else."

The way he said it was just so… so on the side that Lily, who normally would've slapped the commenter and been off, just let her mouth hang open for a few precious seconds, with a look of sheer astonishment on her face. Had anyone else said it, she probably would've marked that person to be a social outcast the rest of their days. Lily was nice, but not to those who weren't nice in return. Even if it was no secret they hated her guts but were nice to her. If you were nice to Lily Evans, you got the best friend in the world you could possibly imagine.

"Such lies! Rumours are often heard but rarely true, James Potter. I'm sure you have wits enough to know that much."

James laughed. "Yes, I do, actually. In fact, I don't think you're too good for everyone—if that was really true, you wouldn't be here, talking to me."

It took a few seconds for her to think about that. "Yes… that's right."

_Unreachable, untameable_… what was happening to that? No boy that was not related to her was able to walk down a _whole street_ with her like this before. It was… it could almost be concluded as…

"So—"

"Oh, bother! I've forgotten that I was supposed to meet Rose in the Three Broomsticks!" Dashing off, she stopped a bit down the street and turned around. "I'll see you later, James, so sorry!"

Running back off, she ducked down a street and quickly turned another. The only problem with that departure was that the Three Broomsticks was the other way.

And that she was not heading towards the Three Broomsticks after all.

The lake was serene and relaxing on bright days like this, and October had been mildly surprising to everyone to be giving such spring-like weather when it should, in fact, be preparing you for the harsh treatment of winter. However, flowers were still in bloom and had anyone looked at it they would never have guessed it to be anything but spring—and most certainly not October.

It was deceitful. This weather… October… it was all so deceitful. October would give you spring, then November would follow it up with light fall—the kind of fall that you hear about in story books with the gentle autumn breeze and golden crisp leaves under your feet. Then they would both stab you in the back because December was always honest and true, blanketing you in snow the second you stepped foot anywhere in its frosty breath. December was never deceitful… just as the rain was never cheerful.

Rain was miserable and black and it made, what seemed like, great pains, to make you miserable and black as well. However, this was not true. Rain indeed made you miserable and black, but it didn't care for you in the slightest. It hardly had to try to make you that way. It just happened and you never hated it for it.

Thankfully, everyone was at Hogsmeade so Lily chose to sit away from her spot in the rain. The water of the lake was still and quiet except for the occasional ripple in the surface of the water. Lily stared at the lake, having captured the image of water rippling on the surface when it rained. It was an image that was burned in her mind and would not ever go away.

Without a shadow of a lie, Lily found this to be soothing to sit by the lake on a clear October day—whether it was being deceitful about the weather or not. A gentle breeze blew through her hair, lightly combing it over.

She had long forgotten how a breeze was made, and it since then had become a mystery to her. It was surprising to the entire wizarding world that muggles were capable of predicting how weather came about and studied weather patterns. Then again, the wizarding world generally had low opinions of muggles because they couldn't do magic. They couldn't do magic, but they could use electricity and harness the power of nature to do their bidding.

Lily often wondered about whether the muggle and wizarding worlds could ever truly get along—rather than live side by side in secrecy from each other. When the wall would finally be removed… conflict would break out. It would break out in such masses as to overtake everyone—suffocating them and drowning them in conflict after conflict and into war until the few remaining survivors were either too stubborn as to change or would change to enable peace—until the next conflict came about.

But that was later; this calm, this quiet, this deceitful feeling of peace—it was here, and it was now, demanding that she revel in it while it was here. It was unexplainable…

Such were some mysteries.

Like James Potter.

A mystery layered in mysteries. Lily did not know much more about him since the day they met each other—truly met—on that rainy day on the Quidditch pitch that he loved so much. Since then, passing glances, passing comments, passing hellos, passing anything at all… such a mystery and she avoided every possible chance she got to think about it. The weather was being deceitful. Maybe he was being deceitful too. Maybe he was like the rain and could give her nothing out of this semi-friendship.

Maybe she should start to find out. Maybe she should… discover.

"We hardly know each other. It's none of my business."

Even if he was the only one who made her truly laugh.

* * *

To My Reviewers:

You all do me wonders. Really, I must thank you all. So, I've a proposition, review for me, and you may get a quick update than the sporadic ones I hardly keep track of; as the situation is now.

Comments:

Hmm. Yes. Significant meaning to this chapter, if you can find it. It's pretty easy to comprehend. Cute and light, just the way I like things.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	6. Ice and Wine

Chapter Six: Ice and Wine

"…so the fact of the matter is, is that you're here alone, I'm here alone, so why can't we be alone together."

Quirking an eyebrow, Lily smirked and folded her arms. It was a persistent, and tiring, ever so tiring game. Constantly, day in and day out, Sirius Black had been at her doorstep, not just knocking, but banging, and carrying a battering ram and an axe and a shovel and all manner of things. Sirius Black: as charming as a rose and as annoying as its thorns—all of them. Not just one thorn in her side, but the accumulation of an ocean of them—threatening to send her to the hospital wing for all eternity.

Such an old game to be playing with such bad players… it was almost slightly amusing. "I've said it before, you brain-dead fool, I'll not have you," she said, slowly pronouncing every word. "How utterly pathetic this is—for you to chase after someone who dislikes you in every way imaginable. Get a clue in that empty head of yours, Black, Lily Evans is too good for you."

Sirius smirked, as if he had an ace up his sleeve, or had been taking pointers from Casanova since the last time they saw each other last. However, Lily had already defined Sirius as Romeo on a bad life—let alone hair day. There was no hope for this pitiful thing—as he was less than a person and certainly not even worthy to lick her shoes for fear of contamination.

"Tsk, tsk, love, you are too cruel. One dance tonight—all I ask. I'm sure James can give you up for just one dance."

Sighing, Lily shook her head. "You're like the plague, Black," she said with a laugh, "you just don't understand it when you're not wanted—or even liked! Even Johnson has gotten the clue! He's dating Greenwood now. Go find someone else."

Shaking his head, he sat down next to her, rather than just hover over her like he had previously been doing. "But we're absolutely made for each other, Lily, you just don't realize it. You see, your name is burned into my brain and my name has been burned into yours."

Raising her eyebrows, she gave him a slightly amused look. "Really? I hardly noticed."

"Don't fret, love, just a delayed reaction is all. One that can be easily mended," he said as he wagged his eyebrows.

Giving another exasperated sigh, Lily snorted. "You're an idiot, Black. Alright, I'll take a dance—only if you manage to keep the attentions of Cassia Fornacis the whole night. Do that and I'll take the last dance with you. And we all know from experience that the last dance is always the best."

Getting up, she said a few farewells to the girls around her and exchanged a few short plans to meet up with Alicia tomorrow—for it was Sunday tomorrow. Heading outside, thankful to death that Black didn't persist to follow her after winning some small victory, she saw the overcast above and wondered if October would continue to be deceitful and rain.

Taking a step outside, as if on cue, or as if the heavens were watching—or as if the rain, for once, had wanted company—_her company_—it started to rain. Continuing to walk towards her spot on the lake, she felt it cool her skin and soak through her robes. It fell onto her hair and combed it through from the roots to the tips.

It was just after noon and the clock had not yet struck one. The ball was scheduled for seven because some of the prefects had other duties at six and Lily was a flexible Head Girl—flexible in the way that she didn't care. The ball was to last to midnight—the witching hour. A few performances would take place during dinner, and then there would be social interactions for a bit. Following that would be what everyone came to the ball for—the dancing. Dancing for the rest of the night, a play that led up to midnight a final dance and everyone would return to their dorms.

There would approximately be time for at least several dances—for their music list was long. The girl who had been put in charge was, from what Lily could tell, a lover of music and a lover of dancing—putting the two together was only natural for her. Second nature almost since she made up the list with such alacrity Lily found herself a little shocked—although in the back of her mind she noted how efficient it was and how smoothly it ran with the rest of the program.

The rain connected with the lake so subtly that you could almost swear that it did not—except for that it made ripples in the lake. Sitting cross-legged in front of the lake, Lily closed her eyes and listened. The rain drops fell almost in tune with her heart, as she could hear every single drop hit the lake—as ethereal as the moon—so there and so not.

It took it all away. Lily no longer thought about anything but the rain. It demanded everything of her and took away all she was to do it. The rain did not need her, but it demanded everything from her if she was to sit in its presence. Stripping everything she was away until it made her nothing—until it made her equal with itself.

Rain, the black sheep of nature, the cruel and forgiving companion to anyone and everyone who could understand its misery that no one understood—it stood above all nature, and yet underneath it all. Lily hardly understood the rain herself. It was a mystery that she did not care for. It was a curiosity of nature and she hardly understood her desire; her nonexistent need to understand it. It was such a conflict.

Rain itself was, so very much so, a conflict.

It contradicted itself in every way. It was nature, but it took everything away rather than give it all to you. A spot in the corner on a cold winter night was more generous than rain—for it gave you silence and solace of thoughts. Rain gave you sound—made you think of nothing else but itself—taking away everything to accomplish that.

But… it didn't care. It didn't care if you thought of it, it wasn't selfish… it was selfish but wasn't…

A contradiction in itself.

Thunder boomed in the sky, causing lights to dance among the clouds as the energy jumped from cloud to cloud. It threatened to take absolutely everything away from you—including your life. Rain took away everything but your life. It was no wonder to Lily how they worked so fluidly with each other—often intertwining, coming in a storm and spreading nothingness in rain so thick it was suffocating—but refreshing at the same time.

Breathing deeply of the scent, she smelled nothing. Water had no scent and neither did rain. Rain was the absence of everything just like white or black was the absence of colour or light.

"Mucking about in the rain again, hmm?"

Her mind was slow to register who that was, and she knew in the back of her mind that only one person knew of this place. And she didn't care to wonder why she let him know about this place—didn't just order him to keep away forever and ever until the end of time.

It was none of her business, it never was, and yet it was.

Looking up, she saw his hazel eyes locked away—devoid of anything but what he outwardly showed which seemed false in every way but tested positive if tried. Maybe James Potter was like the weather, or deceptive like October.

"How… what time is it?" she asked quietly.

"Almost six. I thought I'd come and get you so you're not in a rush to get ready."

The time that had passed seemed only like seconds to her and her mind hardly had time to make up for it all—all the hours since they last saw each other—all the hours that the rain took away, blanketing the area with overcast so thick you couldn't see the sunset.

"I'll be in in a—" Lily stopped when she saw that he had carried an umbrella this time. "Alright, let's go then. I probably should be getting ready. Alicia will be having a fit right about now anyway."

James waited for her to get up and she started to walk with him back to the castle. He did not open the umbrella and Lily was thankful for that. He did not talk to her until they reached the door and she was thankful for that. He did not even look her way and she was thankful for that.

Once they reached the door, he nodded to her wordlessly with a slight smile and was off. Lily headed towards the common room and up into the girls dormitory. She held residence in the Heads room with James—although they hardly saw each other there—but for the most part she still lived in the dormitory in Gryffindor.

As soon as she entered the room, she was assaulted by a frantic sight. All the girls were making some last minute not-so-last-minute changes to their details and hair. If a single curl was out of place they fretted and fretted until it either looked better or looked worse. Judging from misplaced curls everywhere, Lily had guessed that the latter had ended up happening more often than the former.

A few of them caught sight of her and giggled—knowing that that was just Lily. Lily managed to be ready within the hour and looked perfect without having to go over anything—for nothing about her was ever wrong. Alicia—in her dark blue dress—rushed over and pulled Lily over to the vanity. Casting a quick-dry spell over her, she took out Lily's white dress and tossed it onto her lap with what looked like a very careless air.

"Here, change into that and we can start working on your makeup. I can tell that you've been mucking about in the rain since it started because you missed our meet at the Three Broomsticks."

Lily smiled slightly sheepishly. "Sorry for that, Rose. But the rain is very soothing, you understand," she said as she slipped out of her robes and into the white dress—which ended with the same results as the last time she wore it. Some of the girls in the room gasped and marvelled at the enchantments on her dress and swore loudly that they would get their own. For if Lily Evans was wearing it—it must be good. All the girls here were sporting dresses that she had previously been seen wearing. Everyone got the latest gossip on what she would wear and made a point not to wear the same thing—and sometimes not even the same colour.

As Lily applied her own makeup, Alicia waved her wand over and over again, playing with her hair. Generally, they tried to do things the muggle way, but sometimes they had themselves magically done up. It was nice today though, because the rain had acted as Lily's shower—for the heat and steam from a real one made her hair frizz like it had its own mind.

Besides, Lily had a rule against showering twice a day—it dried up your skin far too much.

Finally settling on having her hair done up with long curls from errant strands of hair on both sides, Alicia finished it with adding a clip here and there—so her hair would slightly sparkle. Fishing out some earrings from her jewellery box, she attached them to Lily's ears as Lily applied the final touch of lipstick.

"Radiant, love, you look radiant."

Lily smiled and was actually quite pleased with her appearance that was to be displayed to the whole school the rest of the night. "Thanks much. You're looking excellent yourself. That blue really does suit you—and your wonderful hairstyle."

The clock struck seven and all the girls stopped what they were doing. This happened every time since their first. They would spend two hours to get ready and rush in the last ten minutes then drop whatever it was they were doing if they could and left the dormitory to find their waiting dates. The girls who did not attend social gatherings were social outcasts or simply could not find dates. These functions were for the elite of Hogwarts—thus Lily could always be found at them.

Once all the girls were gone and only Lily and Alicia were left, Alicia said her farewells and left the dormitory. Getting up, Lily wondered if James was still waiting there. At least Cassia had left long ago—which meant that—if Black was any sort of man—he would not be there either. As she left the dorm, she saw James all decked out in a tuxedo and looking like he had all the charm in the world. His hands were clasped respectfully behind his back.

Once she had finished descending the stairs, he pulled out a rose and gave it to her. "Grace like the rain that falls from heaven. Lily, you look wonderful tonight. And I suppose that's the mandatory compliment that any gentleman should give because I've heard it so often already."

Lily laughed. "Yes, it is, and even though I can sense you don't mean it, thank you. You look splendid yourself, James. Sorry to make you wait like this."

"Not a problem," he said, offering an arm.

Lily took it and they walked towards the dance. They got a seat with Alicia Rose, Sean Patil, Cassia Fornacis, and, of all people, Sirius Black. Fortunately, Black only gave her a hearty hello before turning back to Cassia. It seems that he remembered the deal with her. At least that was looking up tonight. Last year she was plagued by him the entire way through and she danced with her partner the entire time to avoid him. The name escaped her memory of who her partner was.

The dinner was very social and consisted of four courses. Instead of the typical pumpkin juice, there was wine with a bucket of ice. It was a little ironic how Lily and James were the only ones who took theirs with ice. There was something in that just alone that could be thought about, but Lily didn't want to think about it. If it wanted itself to be known, it would show itself to her in due time—there was no point in pondering over useless mysteries.

There were a few performances up on stage by a few of Hogwarts most talented dancers and singers. Tom Jordan even did a comedy routine which made sweet allusions to his date for the night—Emily Richardson. To say the least, the generally shy and sweet girl was embarrassed to the nines and—anyone could tell—touched at his comments.

"So, Fornacis, how's your brother doing? I heard he made the papers."

Cassia nodded. "Indeed. Top of his class, in fact. That red dragon fiasco's what's sending him the letters. Every school wants him. He'll make that auror school in Kent famous. Gotten letters from Kingston, Montrose, you name it."

"It _was_ brilliant, though, you must admit," Alicia commented. "How you can manage to stop a rampaging red dragon and not have to slay it is simply remarkable. Although I hear he managed himself a nasty burn."

Cassia nodded. "To degrees. He writes to tell that the papers make it sound worse than it is. He says that if it weren't for the papers, he wouldn't be receiving so many letters. They average two a week now."

"At least he's doing well for himself, that's the important thing," Lily said as she drank from her wine. A life of social gatherings among muggles with her mother and father had taught her the finer trades of social dinners.

"Yes, quite well. My mother expects quite highly of me because of that."

"I'm sure you'll excel at all you do, Cassia, it's only natural for someone as vibrant as yourself."

Lily almost smiled at how he had gone from rude, selfish and utterly abhorring to this… this gentleman in such a short time. It was a marvel, but certainly no mystery. All Black wanted was a dance with her. Granted that he could keep this up all night, then sure, a dance with the gentleman Sirius Black would be a welcome treat for her. Perhaps he would be worth something after all once this was all through.

Someone tapped her on her shoulder and she turned to see Keily Hawkes—a Ravenclaw prefect—whisper by her ear, "You're wanted front stage—Potter too. Some sort of speech that McGonagall's written up for you both to say."

Sighing, Lily shook her head. "I'll be right there. James, we've got some Head issues to attend to."

Glancing over at Sirius she could swear that he restrained from making a dash at that—whatever that may be. Rising from her seat, she led the way towards the stage—which had been decorated earlier. To say the least, Lily was somewhat of a lazy Head Girl—even though it looked like she did a lot, but it was all thanks to the secret of delegation. She had simply given all the prefects a lot of work to do while she did… well, not much. James probably did more than her.

Stepping up onstage, she could feel all eyes on her as she put on that trained smile and flashed it around the room. On the podium was her script and James' script. Oh that McGonagall, never expecting anyone to be able to do something on their own.

Looking at the script questionably, she mentally raised an eyebrow at it. Skimming it over she chucked it over to James. "Rubbish. Improvise," she said to him curtly before turning back to the older student population. Everyone's eyes were trained on her and she had an incoherent urge to scream at them all.

"Welcome to the Hogwarts Halloween Ball! I hope you're all having a wonderful time here! You can thank the prefects for putting this all together. A special thank you goes towards Emmie Carter for putting our music list together for the upcoming dances and social time! Thanks much, Carter, you're amazing!" she said, smiling and waving in the girl's general direction.

The girl was hardly anywhere on the social ladder, but for a job like this, Lily decided that it was high time that she was up there somewhere. Someone who put together such a quick list and with such a vast knowledge of music—both wizard and muggle alike—was bound to be able to excel up the ladder with haste.

It had already taken effect as many of the girls and even boys glanced her way and started to talk. Anyone who Lily Evans mentioned must be good enough to associate with. All it took was for her to say more than two words to you in your entire life and you had it made in Hogwarts. It seemed that Emmeline Carter was quite happy with that comment as well.

"After our meet and greet here with you, we'll all start to dance. The Head Girl and Boy, like always, will start it off. After that, you're very welcome to join in at any moment. I know this is what everyone's been waiting for, so have at it. And also a special thanks goes out to our dearest Minnie for having put up with us all for tonight, thanks love, you're the best Transfigurations teacher that Hogwarts could ask for!" James finished with quick flourish of his wand, setting the scenery of Hogwarts to be simply magical.

Lily glanced back behind her just in time to see McGonagall bristle slightly as her lips pursed ever so into a very thin, barely visible, line. _That_ was sure to get on the woman's nerves, considering how they reduced her hour long written speech into a matter of ten minutes. After a flick of her wand as well, the lights dimmed, the candles at the tables all lit up and music started to play.

The Hogwarts ghosts flew about above them all in the Great Hall, among the jack-o-lanterns and various pumpkins sporting witches hats or candles around them. Black and orange streamers were hung from cylinder to cylinder and a slow mist started to roll in around them. Lily looked at it all admiringly—for it was to look like a normal Great Hall during the meal and social interactions, but this was to happen after the lights dimmed—she couldn't imaging what would happen only four hours away at the witching hour.

James suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the floor. She was taken by such surprise that she hardly noticed as they both jumped off the stage and took up centre stage. James was a smooth dancer and Lily soon found herself enjoying it very much. All eyes were trained on her and she was centre stage—as she always was—with James Potter, smiling back at her.

Centre stage… with James Potter. Social queen with social… social something. James Potter hardly blipped her radar and she hardly knew he was there most of the time except for when her mind registered him there in the back when he was with Sirius.

After about three minutes of that, the next pair out was none other than Sirius Black and Cassia Fornacis—as it seemed that Cassia did not get a seat with Keily and Jeremy Hawkes—who, as brother and sister, opted to take each other to the dance. Lily admired their close family ties and she had once wished that she could have the same ties with her sister—her sister who she once shared everything with—her sister who had caused her to be locked out every time it rained.

It became so routine after a while she just snuck out and even stayed out all night in the rain. As much as her sister openly hated her, when Lily was sick and her parents were away, Petunia would take care of her. Even when she was horribly depressed and there was no rain to be had, Petunia was there. For that, she would forever love her sister—no matter what. As spiteful and as hateful as her sister was, they were still family and loved each other, even if it wasn't like.

"Must hurt something awful to smile like that," James said, smiling.

Lily shook her head in dismay. "It's a popularity thing; keep up appearances, you know?"

Laughing a bit, he shook his head. "So it's all fake?"

"Hardly!" she protested indignantly. "James Potter, you rude thing," she said shaking her head.

"Sorry, Lily, never meant to be. Just easy to tease you, that's all."

"It's only fake if I don't mean to. What I am here, what I am at school, that's not fake."

At least, not in her definition of the word.

"Now that that's cleared up," James twirled her around and dipped her at the upbeat tempo before smoothly gliding back into a waltz.

They only did ballroom dance styles for any celebration Hogwarts had. Hogwarts was one of the best schools you could attend—but was also very hard to get into. You either had to be brilliant or wealthy—giving the school an unnatural obsession with popularity and social standing upon hypothetical ladders. Those who were not on that ladder could only do but analyze and hope to be given the good grace of someone who was.

However, unlike most social ladders, this one depended on personality with others—if you treated others cruelly, there was little hope for you to remain popular. Lily had reached a standing above everyone else—regardless of heritage—and had kept it up. She had only ascended to the top when Fiona Wethersett had graduated two years ago. Now, everyone knew her name, everyone knew her face, and everyone loved Lily Evans.

As they twirled around, Lily caught sight of the downpour outside.

Not everyone loved Lily Evans.

"Look at that rain!"

"Let's stay inside for once, shall we? I'd rather not get this tuxedo wet and I'm sure that lovely dress that's being worn by an even lovelier person doesn't want to get wet either."

Lily turned back and smiled—if a bit sadly. "Sure, James, whatever you like."

"After the party, would you like to spend some time with me and the rest of the Marauders?"

"Marauders? You mean that group of ragtag delinquents who always pull pranks on this school? That's _you_?" she asked incredulously.

"You know it. Come on, how about it? I'll introduce you to the rest of the gang."

Lily imagined herself dressed in secretive black, prowling around the school writing profanity on the odd wall or gluing the Great Hall to the ceiling or turning everything red and gold. After every prank, there was always a calling card to be had signed _The Marauders_. Sometimes they were signed individually or as a group—but they were always found at the scene of the crime and in open view of everyone else.

Once, when Lily was asked if she would take one of them, she snorted and shook her head. 'They're just delinquents out for attention. People like that can't be very nice either. Even so, they only have social standing behind that mask, all else fails.'

It was from then on that everyone knew that Lily Evans was too good for even the Marauders—who have been guessed to have the divine blessing of good looks.

"I don't know…"

"Come on… come. What else are you going to do? Muck about in the rain?"

Sighing exasperatedly, she shook her head. "Okay, James Potter."

It was raining outside, but that was later. James Potter was here, and he was now, and he demanded her every attention. For the rain gave him something when it rained, it gave him authority—such authority you would blink and he would move so fast you would think he was change itself. In the rain, James Potter had the authority of change.

He was here, she was here, and the rain was here.

All else failed.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Thanks all, and I'm sorry this took a while to get up but I had exams and other things to deal with and stress over. You have my gratitude for having patience.

Comments:

Hmm. Shaky opening but... by the end of it... yes. And if you like this story now, I can tell you that it only gets sweeter from here.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	7. Sweet Misery

Chapter Seven: Sweet Misery

It's funny how you suddenly realize how much more you have when you stop. When you're stopped, you take a look around you; you smell the theoretical roses and experience life once again. Everything around you begins to get back its colour and you see how beautiful everything is. That is, until you start to move again.

When you're moving, you move so fast that images blur, and you don't realize life as it flies past you at incomprehensible speeds. You gain and lose things so fast you hardly think to care what you've done—because your actions are so quick and fleeting and so yesterday that tomorrow is not affected in your opinion.

There is no play, or rewind; you only know fast forward and stop and that's all you do. It's easy to hit fast forward and forget about it—to forget that your actions _do_ have an effect on tomorrow, even if you're moving so fast you're blind to it. The actions of yesterday determine tomorrow. But who wants yesterday when it's old, and rotting and _slow_? Everyone has their eyes on tomorrow.

But when you hit that stop button, you realize that the world around you isn't moving as fast as you. You realize that the world has continued to move at its slow, even, pace. It's the world, and it grows those roses you sometimes stop to smell. Before you know it, you're years ahead of the world and your roses are still seeds.

Lily paced her movements, and tried to stop as often as she could to admire the beauty around her. There were not many things that rushed her life and she was thankful for it. She was taking a leisurely stroll through the park, enjoying the scenery and passing gardens full of roses. She inhaled the scent and experienced life.

She mucked about in the rain, where all time stopped—regardless of the clock—and realized that she was so very much like the rain in that she had everything but had nothing at all. The rain only knew one speed, stop. Stop and look at yourself, look at what you've become. Does it make you _really_ happy? It's not worth all that trouble. Just throw it away. I'll take it away so you'll have nothing and be nothing.

"James, why do you sit out here with me all the time?"

There was a silence. Since coming out here, neither had said a word to the other. It had almost become custom that James would join her out in the rain—whether she wanted him there or not. It was becoming a comfort, and it was change, and Lily realized the night of the dance that she didn't want change to happen. Change was authority, and authority was James. James was changing her.

"It's very soothing," he teased. After frowning slightly at this, she heard him sigh. "I don't know. Well, there's an honest answer if ever you heard one."

Lily frowned even more. "Please leave," she said quietly.

Opening her eyes, she saw the overcast. It was ice rain now and by tomorrow it would be snow. October was over and November had decided at the last minute to be true to itself. There would be snow in November and Lily had only to watch the snow fall in memory of rain or because she missed it. But she was nothing to rain and rain was her entire life—nothing.

Lily started to cry, and it seemed like only the clouds, lake and rain knew. Even James beside her didn't seem to see her eyes tear up because her face was to the sky and her face was sleek with water. It was times like this that Lily felt the most despair of all. The rain took everything away and she couldn't feel despair… but James was like… he was like immunity from the rain—immunity only for her.

"Ah, Lily… my sweet misery. Alright, I'll leave you be. See you later."

He said it so casually that it made Lily wonder what he meant by that. It was just so… so quick and off to the side she didn't know what to think. Did she make him sad? Surely not because he would not hang around with sad people if he could help it. Just observing him told her that much. _My sweet misery_.

Hearing him get up, she stared up at the clouds.

Popular little Lily Evans—crying—out in the rain where only the sky could see her and acknowledge her existence. Pitying herself and everyone around her. Miserable in every way and nothing in every way. A blank spot where Lily Evans stood. Not invisible, but not loved and not wanted. _Unreachable_ by everything, _untameable_ by everyone. No one knew her, no one loved her, no one loved just nothing, and she—she was nothing. Everyone loved _something_, no one loved _nothing_. The rain was nothing, and as her heart beat in time with the raindrops hitting the lake, she became less than nothing.

No one loved nothing.

Yet she, by definition alone, loved the rain.

Lily Evans loved nothing.

As empty and hollow and fake as plastic is to wood.

"I am nothing. What am I to this world? Nothing!" she cried out forlornly, like a dead crow.

Crows were irritants—pests, things that were often shot or shooed away. When one died, hardly anyone cared for it. They did not care to bury it or mark its grave with any type of stone or even stick. No one cared for crows. No one cared for her.

Tears like the rain fell from her eyes and she shook slightly from the cold. Her breath rasped out in cold gasps of white smoke—disappearing as quickly as they appeared. With every breath, she saw a part of herself leave—betray her and leave. Everything was traitorous… everything had its limits. This cold… this wet, unforgiving and cruel and sweet rain… it had no limits. Nothing cannot be limited—and the rain was the absence of everything.

The warmth of a fire gave warm feelings; it was comforting, relaxing, and lying and deceitful. It told you warm lies, lies that were pleasant to hear but rang false at the call. Fires told you of favouritism—how you would much rather prefer its comforting, deceitful heat rather than the cold you knew to love during those bitter winter months.

Everything was miserable.

Everything lied to stay in, what seemed like, happiness.

The rain was clear and yet it was deafening. It gave you no room to think, no time to be warm. It took all the treachery that a fire would give you away. It stripped away all the dreams that a warm summer's day could provide. It washed you clean of any desire to be warm. It gave you nothing, it took everything away.

The rain was pleasant the first time you saw it. It drizzled over the land like a wondrous mist and caused curious white fog in the morning. The fog was mind boggling and it obstructed everything from view. It was suffocating and comforting—like the corner of your bedroom that you knew—if you needed to—you could cry in. It made you alone, not like the rain did, because the rain was the black sheep of nature and it did so much more than make you feel _alone_. Fog did nothing but make you feel alone—lost and alone.

Hogwarts had always been attacked by the worst fog in Scotland. Students dared not to leave the castle for fear of getting lost for hours. Quidditch games were postponed and cancelled because of it, trips to Hogsmeade were avoided because of it, and only true idiots went out in it. Rain was all of nothing and made you feel like nothing, but it was clear and didn't try to get you lost.

Lily, by definition alone, was a happy girl. Everyone loved her and saw her happiness just spread out in waves—causing you to also be happy if Lily Evans was around. It was simply an impossibility to see her smile and not have your clouds chased away. Truthfully, she knew that she did not bestow happiness, she simply took away the sadness—took it all away to be washed clean in the rain.

Her despair… this despair in the rain… it was mesmerizing. Lily often felt nothing in the rain. Despair was a recent companion. Recent since the beginning of this year. It was like her life had changed the second she breathed the air of the musty train that everyone rode up to school. It was the smell of old, of rot and routine. Even then, the train was warning her of change. The old would be made new, the rot would be cleaned away and the routine would be shattered.

Two of three of those events happened, and they happened all because of one person.

Indeed, 'rain time' had seemed to turn into 'James time.'

Whenever she caught herself thinking too deeply on him, she would stop herself and push it away—even though it always ended up in the back of her mind.

It made her miserable just to think about it in the rain, where all things were depressing.

"Misery… sweet misery… let's talk about misery, since I, who is always so very miserable to only the high heavens above, am an expert on this subject. It is sweet, bittersweet, and it leaves an acrid taste in your mouth… making you want to drink deeper of it. It is addicting, an addiction in itself. It is misery, it is sweet and it is bitter. I am neither sweet nor bitter, but I am miserable."

Were she in any other pocket of time or had pulled, by chance, the short straw that made her sit away from her spot by the lake, Lily would have just wandered around aimlessly—thoughtlessly—only considerate of windows where passing students might see her. Anything to threaten her rank and climb on the social ladder was unacceptable. This whole obsession to rain was unacceptable.

"A common phrase: You don't know what you have until it's gone. True in every way and bitterly so. There is nothing to take, so I don't know what I have, I suppose. Nothing, I imagine, but I walk the halls of that school; I see the faces of people as I walk past them, and I realize that they think otherwise. They think that 'Lily Evans has it all.' All and nothing. I am popular, I am as fake as that popularity. Who has seen me cry but this lake, this sky and heaven above?

"So why am I so miserable? In this sweet misery? I have no truth. Everyone knows a truth in their life. I don't know what's true anymore. I just know what is fake, and I know the rules to play by it."

If you listened long enough, and you listened hard enough, sometimes, you could hear the rain speaking to you. It spoke with every drop that hit the ground, every splash that rippled on the lake, every noise it took away except for itself. It spoke and Lily listened.

It told her how she wasn't happy, how she had rarely ever been happy. It told her that it had seen everyone else happy in the world except a girl who, by all standards, should be happy with herself but was drenched in misery and cloaked in the night of day.

It told her she was miserable.

James had told her as much that she was miserable—but he didn't seem to care to know why.

"That boy…" she said low and slightly venomous. They had only really known each other since the beginning of October, when they started to see each other a little more frequently. Lily was pleased with how easy he was to get along with—and how easily she was able to talk to him. It was almost like fluid motion—like honey dripping from a cup. Now, now her feelings towards him were irritation; irritation and slight discontent. "He's like all the rest. 'Oh, there's Lily Evans, popularity _queen_, I'll make friends and glean off it so others like me too,'" she muttered, pitching her voice high.

"All he wants is what is fake. Just like everyone else. No one wants the truth because the truth is ugly and it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. Lies are glamorous, they're beautiful on the outside and you believe them _because_ they are beautiful. They are everything you want to hear, they are everything that someone wants to be. No one wants to live a _truth_, which is why the expression 'you're living a lie' is so very popular. No one lives true. It's because this world eats and devours the lies like a drunkard to alcohol.

"It's disgusting," she finished, closing her eyes and breathing in.

The smell was fresh, mixed in with muddy soil and wet grass and leaves. The grass was now an unhealthy shade of yellow and—although it still had some green patches, was still very much on its way to prepare for the cruelty of winter.

Sitting up, Lily pondered over her situation and she wondered—like she did for nearly every day she was out in the rain—why she was so miserable. What made her miserable? She couldn't date it, for her timeline had shattered, but something had changed her the second she stepped foot inside this school.

When that happened, her life changed.

Another instance her life changed was not but a few weeks ago. A few weeks ago when a boy, James Potter, had told her a few simple words. _You're something to somebody._

He didn't know who that was, he, most likely, for the most part, didn't care who that somebody was, he just knew.

"Something to somebody…" she repeated softly, hearing it spoken aloud—in the place where her misery dwelled most. "Who? Who cares about me? Who cares about Lily Evans and not what she is?"

As Lily got up and headed inside, as she could see the lights winking out in the school, she said farewell to the rain, for the next time it rained, winter would have passed and spring would be here. She said farewell to her misery of this year and welcomed the winter where she would prepare to embrace the miseries of being Lily Evans the next year, and the year after, and the year after.

She prepared herself to find out about James Potter.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Thanks guys, you're all really sweet. Keep it up because you keep me going, yeah?

Comments:

Sweetly miserable chapter. Not miserable as in misery, miserable as in I think it was miserably written. I didn't really like how it came out. I can't say where this fits on the storyline, but you'll just have to guess. Mine is that it doesn't. Anyway, just some insight on our poor, melodramatic and over-the-top emotional main character here. I can promise you'll be confused when you start reading the next chapter. Almost indefinitely.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	8. Mysteries

Chapter Eight: Mysteries

A perfect gentleman.

The only way to describe Sirius Black this night.

He was charming in every way, smiled at every opportune moment, and laughed at every right one. Tonight, Sirius Black had finally become perfect in Lily's eyes. However, perfection was overrated, and she herself had somehow claimed herself to be perfect. Perfection, though, in itself, was its own flaw. It was typical, it was ideal, it was expected, and it was loved for all the wrong reasons.

Deep down, everyone hates perfection madly. They hate it with a burning passion because they will never attain it—and when they do, they will still, forever, be eternally imperfect.

"Evans, that dance you promised me?"

Lily frowned.

Promises were fleeting. They were words on someone's tongue—yet those words could only be said by that someone and no one else could put those words on your lips. Such exceptions were the Imperius Curse, which, in fact, did not count. Thus, those words, like a promise, should be upheld—made true, but they were often forgotten and never cherished.

This is why Lily sat in her seat—arms folded across her chest, a scowl placed ever so neatly on her beautiful face as you could imagine her fiery red locks just brimming her face in anger. A despise of Sirius Black grew inside her tenfold.

Because he kept a silly promise that was only but implied.

"I did not, 'promise' per se, as I did 'say' I would give you the dance."

Sirius smirked, childish humour lighting his face—making him even more charming if possible. In all honesty, had Sirius not been so persisted as to win her affections so arduously, she might have already taken him by now for his sheer charm and good looks—which he was abundant of both.

"Well, it was an agreement I remember from earlier this morning. Come on, Evans, what do you say? One dance—all I ask. Give a drowning man his air."

Sighing, Lily decided that he _was_ being exceptionally sweet and gentleman-like tonight, and so she would oblige his request—just this once. Lifting her hand, he took it like it was a precious ornament and as fragile as a snowflake as she was led towards the floor. Out of the corner of her eye she could swear she saw James slightly smirking. It was a curious expression and she had not seen it before. It didn't exactly speak of approval… but it was not a look of distaste either… perhaps… perhaps disappointment, maybe?

Did she disappoint him in some way?

Sirius placed her hand in his and his other lightly on the small of her back as she placed her errant hand somewhere on his shoulder. The music had never stopped playing since and it was the last dance of the night before a final show and finale. This finale being that McGonagall would shoo everyone off to their houses and threaten points off anyone who was caught out.

"You look radiant as the moon and make the stars jealous, Evans," he said lightly, smoothly. It was but a whisper, but audible enough and sweet enough for Lily's ears. The rain had cleared up some hours ago and the sky was clear as the moon shone through the skylight—which was enchanted to reflect tonight's weather—as the stars twinkled among the heavens.

"Do I?" she asked, deciding that, for tonight only, she would indulge him.

Sirius smirked slightly—not so much as defined a smirk as to annoy her, but to show her his amusement. "Indeed. You glow so much that I've forgotten the sun."

"Such words will flatter no one, Black," she said with a tugging smile.

Quirking an eyebrow he closed his eyes for a bit and sighed. "Then what flatters the wonderful Lily Evans?"

What a question… a question to which she hardly had any real answer.

"Flattering me is difficult and impressing me only slightly more. You've done nothing to do either," she said matter-of-factly.

"Because I have naught an idea on how to do either. So, I ask again, what impresses Lily Evans?"

Laughing slightly, she shook her head a bit. "That is not what you asked."

"What did I ask, then?"

"What flatters Lily Evans?" she repeated.

Sirius shook his head slightly. "I didn't say that. I said 'What flatters the _wonderful_ Lily Evans?'"

There was humour in that and she allowed herself some liberty—allowed herself to play off this school's little ladder and simply suspend herself somewhere between on and off it. "Right now, at this second, this night, you, Sirius Black, have impressed me—but only slightly. Look at Fornacis as she pines for you."

"Then I'm afraid she'll be left pining all her life, then because I've only got eyes for Lily Evans."

"Rubbish. You'll find someone else."

Another smirk graced his face. "I'd rather not find someone else when the perfect someone to my life is dancing here with me."

As Lily opened her mouth once again to speak, the song was over and Sirius led her back to the table. A final display was now to take stage and everyone wondered curiously what that display was—as Halloween was certainly a holiday with a finale—as it was nearly midnight.

All the candles unanimously were doused and a light haze of smoke billowed up from them all and flooded the room like a fog. A lone spotlight turned on centre stage and there stood a girl, dressed up in the muggle representation of a witch with her velvety red pointed hat tipped down as to hide her face. It was large brimmed and laced with black—so you would look once and see red, look again and see black, look a third and see both. Her dress was made of the same material as were her gloves while her shoes were a blood red.

"Once upon a night, on a Hallows Eve no less, there was a moon, a broom, and a witch. She flew about the courtyards, nary a thing to stop her, and landed among the rooftops, only the night to grace her. Elegance, style, charm and grace… she beat us all, she won the race.

"A shadow passing her heart, she breathes rhythmically in as her hat flies off in the wind. Shadowed locks pierce the skies as shadowed tips aim for them. A shout, a cry, an arrow, a tip—

"That witch is still remembered. That witch is still renowned; for that witch is Salem, and for that she was bound. Her life now memory, only for us to see, and once upon a night, on a Hallows Eve no less, there was a moon, a broom, and a witch.

Shadows fading quickly,

Make haste and waste not,

Night's love is all you can remember,

Revenge is all you taste.

Sweet Salem do not pine,

Sweet Salem do not cry,

Your death is gone, your ghost has fled,

Because your fury has long since burned,

Poor Salem to its bed.

Sweet Salem.

Sweet Salem.

"Her thirst for vengeance rises, she laughs and cackles with glee, her madness now apparent, void of sanity. A touch, a kiss and night's embrace before you see her face. There to stop you, kill you, bleed you, and make your heavens cry.

"Sweet Salem you do us wrong, but your spirit's here tonight. An everlasting cruelty, for which this witch was wronged. Sweet Salem you are loved, Sweet Salem you are remembered.

"For Sweet is what you are, until the bitter end."

The girl tossed her cap away, and long black locks spilled forth, curling around her face and hanging off her shoulders. Lily nearly fainted for her eyes were hollow sockets, void of anything that could see. Blood trailed form her eyes and seemed to hardly stain the dress as it flowed in rivulets towards the material.

Taking a bow, she snapped her fingers and disappeared. There was no flashy effect for this, but Lily imagined that _that_ witch would not require any flashy effect.

The tale was an old one and the song was just as old. It had been transformed from sorrowful to slightly upbeat with a quirky tempo. Lily had heard the poem only once before and it had made her jump then as well. The woman had disappeared with such suddenness and with such finality that Lily found herself unsure as to whether she should clap for someone who did not seem to be there anymore.

A comforting hand rested upon her knee and she glanced down at it, as her eyes travelled up from that insulting hand to the arm to that bloated cow of a face. Slapping away his filthy hand, she folded her arms and turned her attentions towards McGonagall, who was now speaking to the student populace.

"Students, I hope you appreciate this performance. It took some doing, but getting Miss Salem here for this has been, at the very least, trying. Now, all of you get back to your houses and fifty points from anyone I catch outside."

With this final warning, tables were left with such haste that a unanimous sound of pushing tables and chairs could be heard within the room. Lily also rose from her seat and it only took two seconds before James grabbed her wrist and led her off to a very unused hallway discretely. They just as soon darted inside the nearest classroom where James shut the door behind them.

"James Potter! Are you insane? What will people think?"

Quirking a smile, James shook his head. "Don't worry, no one saw us. Everyone was so concerned with McGonagall's threat that they all scat off towards their holes like rats. We've just got to wait for the other three Marauders. I'll introduce you to them."

Almost immediately regretting the decision to do this, Lily found that she became a little antsy. What if these three other idiots would blurt out that she had _associated_ with them? What if they were, in reality, just three other social outcasts that James had kindly befriended? Lily Evans did not mix with those that were not well acquainted with the social ladder. _That_ was a horrifying thought to comprehend.

The door rushed open and, with a flourish, Sirius Black strode in followed by two others that Lily never bothered to gather the names of. Social outcasts made up the Marauders, and—in Lily's opinion—all three to boot. Wretched night this was turning out to be. Lily would be marked a loser by tomorrow morning.

Sirius was the first to be slack-jawed and drooling, simply bewildered at what he saw. "Lily? What the… James? Prongs, what's she doing here?" he demanded, stepping past her and facing up to James.

Lily frowned. It seemed that she had thought too much of Sirius Black to simply flirt away with her like his life would end the moment she came into view. Apparently, this was a secret that she so obviously should not be a part of.

James just shrugged at his friend's accusations. "Nice change, though, isn't it? Come on, Padfoot, what harm could she possibly commit? Besides, she's sworn to secrecy and imagine an entire night with the love of your life." James winked secretively at her and she found it in herself to scowl—quite easily at this delinquent.

Seeming to believe such a ridiculous lie, Sirius' shoulders eased up. Lily also thought he had more brain cells than that. Then again, Lily would most likely be prone to believe almost any rubbish that Alicia might spew forth—no matter how impossible and ridiculous such an occurrence may be. Such was the idiotic power friendship could hold over you.

"In that case, I'm more than happy to accommodate her," he said, now turning his full gaze on her. The switch was on and so was the game. It was a different board, with slightly different rules, but the game was essentially the same, and in a school where she was queen, none could contest her.

"Shut your trap, Black, I'll have none of your usual garbage plaguing my ears. What are you delinquents up to? And who are these two?" she asked in her usual curt manner when dealing with Sirius Black. Looking at them comprehensively, she took in the groomed appearance of one and the bed-head of the other and decided that they were both, in fact, very much outcasts.

"Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, at your service, Head Pain," mocked the boy with sandy hair, bowing low as a shrewd smirk was featured on his face.

Lily immediately did not like him and knew the reason why right away. The shorter boy next to him was slightly different, as he just shrugged and nodded at her—not really saying much. Silence always suited Lily much better than large mouths and larger egos.

"Why am I here again, James? Are you trying to drive me insane? These people are lunatics, and I will not associate—"

"Lily, it'll be fun, come on. One night of this and I'll never bother you with Marauder business ever again. Anyway, let me _properly_ introduce you to these three. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, at your service, my lady," he said with a flourishing bow towards her as he motioned towards the other three at their calling cards. "Anyway, you three, I've decided that tonight we'll take Miss Evans on a tour of the castle—Marauder style."

The way he said it was so… so different than what she was used to that Lily bleakly wondered what mess she had so badly gotten herself into. She should be in the girl's dorm—for she only studied in the Heads room and occasionally slept there—and talking up the young night with Alicia, Emily, Cassia and other girls present. It was ritual, and she realized with some horror that she broke a pleasant ritual to have her world boiled, mixed, blended and stir-fried by James Potter.

Clapping, his hands together, Sirius grinned broadly. "Prongs, you stupid genius you! Well, Lily? Are you up for it?"

This Sirius was different, he was more… playful and there was a glint in his eyes that she did not quite understand. These boys—that she knew—had become something entirely different, different since stepping foot into this room. It was like Sirius Black and James Potter were put on hold while Padfoot and Prongs took a spin in their bodies like a muggle in a new Mercedes.

Narrowing her eyes, she eyed them both, her gaze lingering a bit longer on the two unknown boys. "Perhaps. But only for a bit, Rose, Richardson, Fornacis and Hawkes will be worried sick about me."

Throwing an arm around her, Sirius moved close to her ear. "Just tell them all you were with the one and only for your life," he whispered.

Utterly appalled with his very presence, Lily freed herself from his grasp viciously and glared at him with murderous eyes. This was an unfamiliar situation to her and she realized that these boys were quite attuned with this ground, this new game that she had been made a new player of just recently. In her world where things made sense, Lily would have the upper hand—here, these people—these _boys_—held all the cards.

As such, Lily could not even help but try and apply the rules of her game to this one. "Right, good advice, I'll let them know I was up on the astronomy tower pining for the moon. You bloated idiot, you'll never be meant for me in any way except as sheer amusement at such pathetic attempts."

Running a hand through his hair smoothly, Sirius shrugged it off. James just smirked at this exchange and looked at them all, grinning. "Let's take Miss Evans on the circle route, shall we boys?"

Sirius grinned. "Don't worry, love, I'll catch you when you fall."

Pursing her lips and raising an amused eyebrow, Lily snorted. "I'll not have your filthy hands so much as come near me."

Quirking an eyebrow, Sirius wagged his eyebrows suggestively. "Sure about that, love?"

There are times when, for all the world to see, your instincts take over, like a mechanical reaction. Unless you have disciplined yourself to alter your natural reactions and reflexes, such occurrences just simply happened and there was little you—or anyone else for that matter—could do to stop such things. It was the fact of the matter that Lily's such reaction was a hard horizontal streak across Sirius' face, resulting in a red welt with the basic impression of a hand print. A sound that reached unimaginable decibels for such a sound could be heard throughout the room.

There was slight silence before snickering in the background and Remus and Peter started all out laughing in their hysteria; James joining them quite quickly thereafter.

Lily had just caused their friend—most likely—grievous bodily harm and all they did was snicker and laugh at his expense? If this was the type of friendships delinquents held, she was honest-to-goodness happy from top to toe that she was not—herself—a delinquent, and therefore prey to such humiliations.

Sirius Black was a social king, but apparently this Padfoot of his belonged to the dredges of society. It was not a wonder that Lily did not find him charming like the rest of the school—and she likely never would knowing that this… cheapened version came with the package. It was a let down—an utter and major put-off and let down. Sirius Black was not the man she thought he was.

"How degrading…" she muttered to herself. "James, I think I will turn in for the night. I won't keep you from your—"

It seemed, when around this boy, that her words often did not get to finish themselves as he had taken the liberty of cutting her off by grabbing her wrist and pulling her along outside the classroom, ducking once again into a nook that seemed to be used often by rule-breaking couples.

"Start counting Sirius!" he called out over his shoulder as he pulled Lily ahead of him and simply started pushing her.

Glancing back, she saw that Remus and Peter had also split off in some rather unknown directions down the hall. What troubles they would wreak were unknown to her, but she made the firm resolve not to take any responsibility for any idiocy they may commit this night. They were James' friends, let him handle it however he wished—although he was in it with them and they very likely would never get turned in.

The hall was musty and dusty and Lily was sorely glad she had only severe allergies to certain types of trees—none of which were present around Hogwarts, but were quite abundant back home, dotting the community like a cancer. Thankfully it was only the leaves and she was only vaguely aware of such allergies in the summer.

As they reached a fairly deserted end of the dark and cluttered nook that James had dragged her into, Lily peered around him to see a door. Pulling out his wand, James muttered something and put it away, turning the knob and walking inside, bringing her along with him. Only when the door was closed behind them both did he drop her wrist.

His touch was gentle, but a slight imprint could still be seen as proof of his excitement for tonight. Certainly, this _tour_ seemed to have started out as her simply being dragged around rotting passages of Hogwarts where empty, musty, dusty and dark rooms were present. The air was thick and suffocating—as a result of too much dust and rotting books on rotting book shelves.

"I certainly hope this isn't somewhere you brought any of your girlfriends. I'm afraid this might have been a sealing deal for you, James Potter."

Laughing slightly at her comment—obviously thinking it a joke as opposed to good-natured advice, James sighed and shook his head. "It's a game, Lily. Hide and seek. Sirius is tagged. Now, he's got to search all over the school for us. If he gets caught, we'll know and then the fun begins—because we'll have to get back to our dorms before McGonagall catches more of us."

"Like cat and mouse?" she asked incredulously. "Absurd, James, simply absurd."

Smirking slightly at her, James quirked an eyebrow at her. "Prongs, Lily, Prongs."

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Marauders four and delinquents all. The most absurd things happened in their name within this school—but Lily hardly cared to notice, being so busy and concerned about any competition she might have. However she knew that she had this school. It had fallen so madly in love with her that it had offered its crown to her—little work required. It was easy to say that—had Fiona Wethersett not graduated last year—she would have already beaten the previous queen of popularity.

The Marauders—as a whole—were very popular among the student populace, but Lily never accepted those that did not even bother to use their real names—referring to stupid nicknames as to hide their cowardice and fool everyone by having them think themselves geniuses. It was cowardly, rather than smart, to hide behind a name that was not yours so the punishment that should be doled out was not.

Lily had hardly liked them now, and she still thought of them less. "Prongs," she railed, tasting something she imagined was close to poison as she said it, "Are you insane?" she asked calmly. "This… _nonsense_ is what you do at night? At night when I hear you just enter the Heads common room at ungodly hours of the night? The rumours _are_ true, James Potter is a delinquent through and through and no one knows it outside your circle as deeply as me."

Seeming to take her words into consideration, James folded his arms thoughtfully and looked up at the ceiling in an equally considerate manner. "Hmm. Yes. Yes to you and all your silly questions. But tell me, Evans, are you happy for this? Knowing that rush of knowing you're breaking the rules? Knowing that you, me, Sirius, Remus and Peter could turn this school upside down in a single night?"

Certainly, Lily was feeling _some_ rush, but she didn't want to think about _that_. It was crazy how calm and—dare she say it—excited he was about all this. It was like this time of the night, when he was wreaking havoc as someone who was utterly and completely _not_ James pleased him. Was he really happy being this… other person so much that he would hide it away from the majority of the school? Did _anyone_ else know how utterly _psychotic_ he portrayed himself right now?

A manic grin was glued to his face and he ran a hand through his hair, letting it seem as if he had just been out in a tornado with little discretion for good looks. This boy—standing in front of her right now—was the antithesis of everything she had come to know—everything that had intrigued her and made her curiosity grow incoherently loud—like a fly buzzing around her head. This boy—who was James Potter only moments before at the dance—had become a fly swatter to that curiosity.

The worst part of all was that she knew that, by morning, he would become, once again, that mystery in her life and her curiosity would continue to rise all the more. It was maddening and irritating and only now did Lily realize what this… _this boy_ who was standing in front of her was.

This was James Potter's secret to the world.

Only three other people knew about this secret, and now she knew as well.

Why?

Calming herself, for she knew her nerves had become shot on this unfamiliar game-board with these unfamiliar pieces, Lily shook her head slowly, gathering up her senses. Tonight she had dressed up in her best to impress a boy who, by the beginning and end of it, did not seem rather impressed at all. Tonight she had wanted perfection to impress herself that she could impress this boy who was not impressed by her attempts at all. Tonight she had decided she wanted to find out about some mysteries.

Right now, she decided that some mysteries were best left unknown.

"No. Good night, James; I'm sure I can manage back on my own. I promise you that McGonagall will not be at all your throats in the morning. Thank you for taking me to the dance."

With no more words exchanged, Lily opened the door to the deserted, musty, dusty room, and left, closing it behind her.

So she left. Left behind all the mysteries, left behind her curiosity, left behind the rush, and made sure that she also left behind change.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

For those of you who haven't, I'll really never know whether you actually _like_ it or not, now will I? I'll take your silence as a 'Yes, we love it!' . And forgive me, I didn't know I had anonymous reviews disabled, sorry everyone. If you still have it in you, drop me a line.

Comments:

Oh... oh no! What happens now? Well, you'll just have to wait, yes? I had writer's block on this one for a while, but thankfully it passed in time for completion to be posted. Whether you believe me or not, today is Triple 6 and consequently my birthday. Cheers to me, yeah? So I thought I'd give you all a present of my own.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	9. Alone in a Crowd

Chapter Nine: Alone in a Crowd

"Little Loser Lily Evans, can't do nothing but cry to the heavens."

_"Lily! You're as beautiful as heaven tonight!"_

"What's wrong with you? Can't you do anything proper?"

_"Only Lily could manage something to happen this perfectly."_

"What did you do? Eat blood or something? That colour is so unnatural for hair."

_"I wish I had your hair, it's gorgeous and the colour is magnificent!"_

It's amazing how, no matter how many times you hear something to the contrary, hurtful words will always remain hurtful. A simple childhood saying about rubber and glue could only do so much to mend some very potential permanent wounds on your heart. A mother's kiss could only do so much to the medications that will cause you blinding pain before cleaning the wound. Blessed presents and promising futures could only do so much to hide painful pasts and past sorrows.

Regardless of what a girl may think, those hurtful words aren't cancelled out when something good is said. Even if it is not in the forefront of your conscious, it still runs like a broken record in the back of your mind. No matter how many times you will them to go away, bad words said to you will always and forever remain bad words said to you.

Escape was not an option. Escape was temporary relief for a bad day—that cough medicine for that cold on a winter night. You either dealt with it, or you lived to be _better_ than it. It was the dark, gloomy, shady part of your life. You would deal with it by covering it up with light—hoping that it would make the darkness go away.

But like everything that was the absence of something, it always came back. When there is no light in your life, when that candle chooses to run out of wick and you're at your wits end, the darkness is always there to get you. It is the end of the road and all the light in the world cannot prevent you from at least tasting of it.

Even corpses cannot be buried with a night light.

For those who are still living, hurtful words are damaging, but they are not the end of all things. Lily had coped, dealt and accepted that darkness would forever be a part of her life—that she had subconsciously surrounded herself with such darkness that even the thickest light could not penetrate it. She wove it into her being and used it as a life preserver in the black ocean—not above it, but barely floating.

"Never mind those idiots, Lily; they don't know what they're talking about. Why, they haven't a single sense in their brain as to what beautiful hair or a perfect girl is like. They'll all grow up to live in a ditch."

Alicia Rose could say such things so matter-of-factly that Lily, as a child, would often believe her. When the rains came, she knew she thought otherwise. Those children perhaps would grow up to live in a ditch, with no better lives than drunkards or con artists, lying and thieving for a living. However, a majority of them would grow up to be very profitable in a very changing world.

It was maddening in such a… such an unbelievable way that she didn't even want to bother to comprehend it and would console herself with nought but the rain for company.

Lily decided then and there—the moment that she stepped into Hogwarts—that she would no longer be within reach to throw insults at. Lily would become _unreachable_ and she would be loved by all and admired by everyone. Lily Evans would be _better_ than everyone.

Dark pasts were dark pasts and should forever remain dark pasts.

"So, what are your plans for this Friday?" A quick thought seemed to come to mind as she raised her eyebrows every so slightly and quickly followed that up, "Oh, right, you tutor Potter, don't you?"

Lily smiled at this. She had not seen James since that night of the ball. "I'll have to check, but, no, I'm not; as far as I can tell."

The rains had stopped and November had successfully settled them with a thick layer of fluffy, white, beautiful, blinding when you stepped outside—as Rose would say, snow. It was a nice and enjoyable change, but Lily much preferred to stay inside where it was generally warm and not outside where you kept the howling wind company as it chilled you to the bone.

Clapping her hands together, Alicia smiled wide. "Excellent! Sean, Greenwood, Richardson and Ryerson have all decided that we want to spend the first day of Christmas on the roof of the astronomy tower with mugs of hot chocolate as we stay up all night and watch the snow fall."

"Sounds wonderful, Alicia. I've actually promised Fornacis, Travers and Hawkes that I'll go shopping with them the next day. What made you decide, all on your own, I presume, makes it the first day of Christmas?"

Alicia winked at this one. "Well, it is one week into December and any sensible person would be celebrating such a festive event such as Christmas early—we should be as well. I mean, look at the muggles, they practically sing carols in November! The way I figure it, is that we're late on the festivities."

Sighing profoundly, Lily shook her head as they finally made it back to the Gryffindor tower. "We can't really be late on anything that hasn't started, love. I mean, look at the common room, it's scarcely—"

As she took a seconds glance at the room, she saw that was indeed scarcely _something_ but that _something_ was not the next few words she was planning to utter. The entire room was decked out with boughs of holly, jolly and cheer. It was a bit stifling how much red and green could be in the same room. Of course, it was a different green than that of Slytherin—such a thing would not do. Gold also flittered about the room here and there, but was generally amassed in specific areas as to blind you like the snow.

Casting a smug look at her and a quirked eyebrow, Alicia walked past her, pulling her by the wrist towards the fireplace. "See, Evans? Normally, these things are not up until at _least_ two weeks before the break—but I've managed to rally the girls to getting it done earlier."

"A bit much, don't you think? Threatens a headache, you understand."

Alicia sighed exasperatedly. "Well, you were too busy with some sort of weekly plague by Sirius Black, so we left you out to _moderate_ our efforts. How is that boy anyway? Didn't he catch you out under mistletoe last year?"

Gagging at the very thought of the occurrence, Lily shuddered. Sirius hadn't _caught_ her under anything, he downright _assaulted_ her and barraged her with countless naggings and whining until she obliged him and gave him a kiss in the very hard slap-across-the-face fashion. A nice red welt was left in her right hand's stead as a reminder to all that no one kissed Lily Evans under _anything_ under _any_ circumstances of _any_ holiday.

"Let's pray _that_ doesn't happen again."

Shaking her head, Alicia leaned over her chair arm to whisper in Lily's ear. "You may miss out on that boy if you're not careful. Might just finally drive him away."

Scoffing, Lily snorted. "That'll be the day. Trust me; there is _nothing_ I can do to scare that boy away. I know because I've tried. Oh how I've tried," she droned exasperatedly.

Sighing, Alicia, for the most part, returned to sitting properly back in her own chair and shook her head in a very Alicia-like way. It always told you that she had noticed something that you were completely blind to and Lily had always raised a flag in her mind every time she saw that just about trademark shake of her head.

"Well, I've got something to do, and—look at that! Here comes Sirius Black!" she said in highly suspicious falsified cheery tones.

Lily scowled at her for the crude and harsh betrayal as she folded her arms, awaiting the usual cheery greeting, the usual cheery smile, the usual charming boy, and the usual pleasantries that she had awaiting him.

Except this time was different.

And now, today, for the rest of her life, Lily would forever curse mistletoes—for all they stood for, for all they represented and for every bloody obligation they required you to fulfill in one way or another when you were caught underneath one with one of the opposite sex. It was unnatural how such a stupid little plant could compel you to do such an abhorring thing with generally abhorring people like the charming Sirius Black—except that he was not charming.

In the slightest.

Lily nearly fell out of the chair as all the 'usuals' were done away with and Sirius had just had the gall to lean over and kiss her on the cheek. A first glance told her that her permission was disregarded and perhaps Sirius Black had become less-than gentleman by kissing her on the cheek without her permission. A second glance told her that he had given himself _mistletoe permission_ which, in her appalled opinion, should be against the law.

"BLACK! You filthy—"

"Thanks, love, I know. I'm the best thing that's ever graced your world, aren't I? Never fear, the love of your life is here to save you from a dreary one. So, I've been thinking that—"

"No," she said firmly, hoping that firm would be a deterrent—even if it wasn't.

"—that you would let me take you to Yule and we can have a splendid night like we did on Halloween. Wasn't that pleasant? You smiled, remember? Remember the after-party?" he added in a quieter tone.

Scowling deeper, Lily picked herself up off the ground—without his help, as his hand was offered; ready and willing. Folding her arms, Lily smirked at him. "Smiled? I smiled? At what, Black? How hideous you are? Or did I smile at the thought of your chances with me? You are a _dog_, Black, and I'm sure _you_ know, as well as everyone else in this school knows, that you are not good enough for me."

Instead of lessening his resolve, as it usually did for this shoddy, poorly done up Prince Charming, it seemed to only strengthen it and _discouragement_ in all forms, to him, at this moment, seemed like the ultimate burst of _encouragement_. Lily was not surprised in the least, but nor was she really ready for this. By now, she usually had the upper hand and found that she was still a bit off from that surprise kiss he had managed on her.

"My, my, Lily Evans. You know what your name rhymes with? Heaven, because that's what you are."

Lily frowned. In her imagination she could see a dim light in his mind flicker on and off—as if it could hardly sustain itself because all power was sucked right into his attention span—because it was large and mainly hoarded into the 'Lily Evans' department. It was unfathomable how this boy would not just _leave her alone_.

"And I guess that means we're opposites, aren't we?"

"And you know that opposites attract," Sirius said smoothly, smiling that charming smile that most girls would be puddles in the presence of.

"In some cases it does. But in this case I guess that means you're Hell. So, like hell, Sirius Black, and as the muggles have been heard to say, 'get the hell away from me!' Revolting, you are, Black," she said with disgusted tones before sweeping herself outside the common room.

Not bothering for a cloak, jacket, mittens or a hat, Lily opted to go outside the castle. As she trudged around the snow for a while, aimlessly, she passed by her spot in the rain and looked at it sorrowfully. It wouldn't be for a while until it properly rained. Scotland wasn't renowned for its rain in the winter—as any other normal place with normal weather patterns. Trudging on, she looked back at her trail in the fairly deep snow and sighed before continuing on in that fashion.

There was a calm in the winter, a serene blinding calm that assaulted you like the blindness that Lily had long ago shaken off her eyes. It was not stifling and it did not threaten to do much but let you take it for granted. It was cold and cold generally was not able to stifle much anything—as heat was generally required for anything to be suffocated in such a manner. The light fall of snow fell around her and she saw it fall in her hands as it quickly disappeared.

In the Great Hall, was a crowd—a crowd so large you could just feel the emotions roll off it—like a great wave of heat and excitement. Crowds were always fast-paced and did not care much for the little things in life—having always claimed to have _built_ those little things in life. Partially, such a claim was true, and wholly, such a claim was absurd. It was true and it was absurd, which showed for much of the absurdity of today.

Crowds never cared for the individuals that made up that crowd—no matter how cool, fresh or _popular_ they were. They say that two is company and three's a crowd. In most crowds, by definition, Lily Evans felt the difference between herself and those other two people. One on one it was not as painfully apparent, but seeing how the other two interacted with each other—with such free fluidity and ease… it made her realize how alone she felt at times.

Normal people did not stupidly smile and run their mouths at things they didn't care for. Lily didn't care for who Keily Hawkes fancied that week, nor did she care who won the Quidditch game last Tuesday. It was all _talk_ and gossip and such utter rubbish. No one talked about the politics of this world—of how many people were dying due to certain wizards who should be tarred, feathered and charred to a roast. It was in the prophet, but no one at _this_ school seriously read that—at least no one in the more important circles.

It was amazing how _blind_ this society could be.

And yet she was a part of that.

Part of the _very top_ of that.

No, these people were not normal, to have smiles and laughter when mixes of anger, and sadness should have run rampant. Then again, everyone needs _something_ they can delude themselves about for some shred of happiness. Pardon her if she had dark opinions about the school, but Lily Evans hardly had high opinions of anyone. It seemed that James Potter at least picked that up on his observation about what she said about teachers. Everyone needed some form of stability, she supposed.

What was her stability in life, then? Why was she even bothering with a life she was so obviously unhappy with? If not outwardly, inwardly?

Imagining herself within a crowd, imagining that the silence was just a deafening roar and all the snowflakes were people, she pursed her lips and shook her head, opening her eyes and seeing everything for what it was. All was silent, all was calm, and it was in that calm she found that she could be most deafened.

"Don't tell me you muck around in the snow too?" a voice said with a laugh.

Finding this voice comforting, relaxing and even welcoming, she turned around, the words on her lips as she shut it, seeing James Potter.

To say that she was avoiding him was… very much the understatement. Lily had treated him like the plague. This question was the first solid chunk of words that he had managed to string together in her presence without her cutting him off and leaving him in the dust. It wasn't a surprise that it was outside he caught her.

Before asking why he was out, she glanced at his Quidditch robes and sighed. Supposedly, there was no more avoiding him.

"No… I don't."

Perhaps it was the way she said it—the way it came out so disheartening and half-meant that it was not a wonder that the very cheerful smile on his face turned into a dull one. His hazel eyes looked surprisingly warm and Lily had to keep herself from looking at him—reasons unknown to even herself. She had left him and all his mysteries in that musty room the night of the ball.

"Look, Evans, I'm really sorry about that night of the dance. I just figured you, well, needed a night out from being yourself. Everyone needs it every once in a while. My parents expect a lot out of me, every once in a while… it's okay to let go."

"Don't you tell me what's okay or not, James Potter, you delinquent," she said quickly. In many other cases, she would've shut her very traitorous, very truthful trap and apologized as vehemently as she saw fit—but today, with this boy, she didn't see the need.

An amused smile lit his face and Lily felt her temporary anger evaporate. It was hard to be mad at someone who was not even sorry for doing something they thought was a favour. A favour—that was his goal for the night and she had thrown it back in his face like a dirty piece of trash.

"Okay, so I won't. Anyway, since you were there at the beginning, I guess I'd better tell you the end of what happened. Sirius never found me and it took them another thirty minutes until Remus found me—because he knows about that isolated old room as well. Anyway after that there was this—"

"James, why do you talk to me?" she demanded. His story was meaningless to her, as were his errant words. There was no… just no dealing with this boy.

James quirked an eyebrow and smiled amusedly. "Well, we're sort of friends, I suppose. Friends talk to each other, right?" he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Of course, such things, when put that way, were obvious to everyone around them but one person. James Potter was someone she normally wouldn't be caught dead with, and only a week or so back at the dance was she there, dancing most of the night away with him, smiling up at his face that was equally smiling back down at her. Even now, she was too far up in the clouds on that ladder to tell where he even stood—and she could only help but see him lower because she never noticed him. In truth, he could've been miles higher than her and the reason he was a social outcast was because no one had seen how high up he really was.

Of course, such things were ridiculous.

"You humour me, no, really, why do you talk to me? Why do you talk to Lily Evans, social queen? You're like all the rest, aren't you? Trying for a date, is that it?" she asked in her usual curt manner when repelling boys.

Rather than the expected reaction, James just laughed. He laughed and laughed for all he was worth. "Are you kidding me? Evans, not everyone sees you in that way. Quite the twisted view, if you ask me. Are you—" he stopped to laugh "—sane? Do I need to take you to Pomfrey?"

In any other such instance, she would have slapped the offender and be done with it, except that she was not quite sure how to deal with this offender. Suddenly, those days she spent avoiding him at all costs, those days that he did not bother to pursue her any further than what was considered normal, they seemed like such an empty and _shallow_ hole that she suddenly found filled beyond imagining with just him; talking to her so casually and so freely like this—as if nothing in the world could possibly be amiss.

"James…" she droned out chastising him.

Holding his hands up, he coughed slightly to get a hold of himself and sighed. "Sorry, Evans, it was just a little… funny, if you get the understatement."

Smiling, Lily sighed. Instinctively, they started to walk together. Two sets of footprints in the snow. Two people in a crowd, no longer alone with themselves for company. That large gap had now vanished and she decided that she would not care whether this boy was a social pariah or not—she liked having him around because he was stability.

Once again, the mysteries were back, and Lily found some light in him that shooed away her darkness. Once again, as if it never happened, painful pasts were put in the light as it ate away the darkness.

"So, Evans—"

"Lily. Call me Lily."

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Yay! I love you all, you know that? Makes me happy. Thanks for the birthday wishes, and yeah, my birthday just happened to fall upon triple 6. My teachers at school wouldn't believe me the first time. Crazy, isn't it? Anyway, my exams are all done and I've got a little relief for all of you. Don't be reading this if YOU have exams to study for now.

Comments:

Sweet. She's made up.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	10. Centre Stage

Chapter Ten: Centre Stage

"Lillianna, you were so wonderful up on stage, simply marvellous love," her mother said approvingly.

Giving her mother a short nod, she smiled. Little did she know that this smile would soon become like poetry in motion for everyone. Shrugging slightly, Lily got inside the car and waited for her mother to get into the front seat as well.

Her father sat in the front, having whipped out his newspaper after the performance. Weeks on end of her training for this performance—as small and minor as third grade performances were—and all he could show was false pride in the presence of proud yet conceited teachers as support for his youngest daughter.

It was slightly infuriating, but it also told volumes to Lily. It told her all she needed to do to impress this man that could not be impressed who was her father. More work, more effort, more practice, more prestige—that's what she needed. This man would not simply support flimsy little school plays—regardless of her leading role or not, much to the ire of the other students.

It told Lily she wasn't good enough.

Mother on the other hand was easiest of all to please. Lily could simply stand and breathe and her mother would be pleased with her. It was simple to have her mother dote on her—and her sister was quite pleased as well. At least not shamed to call Lily Evans kin to them both.

"Richard, don't you have anything to say to Lily?" her mother asked in a slightly demanding tone. Simply amazing how that woman could have that man whipped like a puppy but yet retain his airy nature.

Putting his paper down, he folded it neatly and lay it at his side. Leaning back, he lightly kissed her on the head. _You did good, but not good enough._ "Fantastic, love, I'm proud of you." Proud, but not _very_ proud.

Petunia came into the car next and hugged Lily quickly and tightly. "Lily! That was wonderful! I'm sure you had all the boys' attentions!"

Petunia was already in seventh grade and Lily could hardly find herself able to relate to her sister any longer. Pleasantries had become common between the two were and generally acted out accordingly in front of their parents—even at home. It had been long since that sisterly bond had shattered just like Petunia's lamp that one night she was reading Lily a story.

'Queer' and 'unnatural' were common phrases said offhandedly when not in the presence of others. Nonetheless, they were still sisters and it was proper to show sisterly support for each other—no matter how troubled or black the waters may be.

"Thanks all," Lily said quietly.

Really, it was an insignificant role; anyone could do it if they practiced enough. Enough rehearsals and you could pretty much fake your way through anything. Just like that role up on stage, Lily felt fake. Nearly nine and she knew that she was already not good enough to match standards. That was all that smiles were; they were smiling at how inadequate she was. Like one over par on a golf course, she was one under what she was supposed to be.

"Lillianna, tomorrow you know about the recital, yes? Petunia, are you coming? That Charles boy has been asking for you," she said airily, showing her disapproval of Petunia's newest crush. Eleven and in love; what foolishness; her sister was a fool.

A slow smile graced her face. "I don't think so, mother, Kathryn and Bella want me for shopping that day. May I go with them instead?"

Lily could tell that her mother eased up at this alternative and a smile could be seen on her face from the rear view mirror. "Of course. Be home for supper and no later than five." It was a common curfew that Lily heard often, but supper was _at_ five which made her mother speak inaccurate rubbish. Petunia never really listened much to curfews and her parents were far too busy to care. Notes and money for delivery was their meal. "Oh, Richard, could you drop me off at the office instead, I've some business to take care of there. I won't be home for supper, so just start without me. Lillianna, I'm afraid I have to cancel our get together this Sunday, something came up at work and I haven't any time. I'm so sorry, love."

Lily smiled comfortingly at her mother. "It's okay, I understand."

It was always this way and Lily simply accepted that her mother's second husband was her job and nothing could get in between that—not even her real marriage to her father. A company couldn't manage itself—especially when its owner was a lawyer as well working for a separate firm.

After their mother was dropped off, a stony silence filled the car until they got home. A few flecks of rain dropped onto the windshield and her father turned on the window wipers. Even Petunia was staying unnaturally silent today—where she would be—usually—yapping her head off about something at school or someone at school. Once they got home, they all headed inside and Lily only just entered the doorway and just before the arch that led into their living room.

It was too late. She had tasted the rain on her skin and her only thoughts were to escape into it—where she was alone and away from all her inadequacies and imperfections. A place away from standards and not being good enough.

Making a slow effort to eventually join her elder sister and father, Lily saw as her father retreated to his study to work and her sister fled easily to her room. With only one boot off, Lily quickly put it back on and ripped off her coat as she ran back outside and closed the door behind her. Running in the rain—her red pigtails flying as they soaked through from England's heaviest rainy season—Lily headed for the nearby park. Puddles were already forming on the ground and her boots splashed sloppily as she ran through them, eventually stopping by the small stream and pond that the park had been built by.

Slowing down, Lily kept going as she continued to trudge through, eventually hitting the water and wading through it to the other side to a small, secluded island where no one could see her. Sitting down in the wet grass, Lily shivered and looked up at the sky, hugging her knees to her chest for warmth.

Out here, she had no one. Out here nothing came to bother her with expectations—constantly reminding herself of how imperfect she was. Nothing came to bother her and pester her about her imperfections and how she simply was not good enough or even break standard. Out here, she had nothing, and in that nothingness she found the rain. Her thoughts came clearly in the rain, analyzing every part of her useless existence if she could not use it to please anyone.

Lily always had an innate desire to please people—truly please them—at the expense of herself. If others were happy around her, she was doing good, the standard was met and everyone was happy. It didn't matter if she was happy or not—so long as everyone else was happy because of her. Happiness could go a long way into deceit and lies—but it went a long way in the overall matter and that was all that mattered.

Shivering slightly, Lily sneezed and knew she would wake up with a cold tomorrow morning. It was a shame too—her father would be home tomorrow and he would have to spend it taking care of her. Then again, maybe not—he would probably be called in for work as well. Both her parents owned separate companies—who competed with each other. They both used to work at home, but it became odd and work got in the way so her mother opted to start working in the office—where she now just as well both worked and lived.

Whenever they were both working and Petunia was set to 'watch' Lily, this spot would generally be where she was. The other kids didn't know about this secluded area where she could watch them all play and have fun without her. It was the perfect place she could watch anyone and everyone who came to this park.

Thunder rocked the sky and the ripples on the lake became like turbulence as the rain pounded harder—starting to give Lily a headache that throbbed as loudly as it rained. Holding a hand up by her head, she felt her temple and could feel that she was already getting sick from just sitting out here, on the cold wet grass that was soaking through her jeans. The cold rain washed through her hair and fell in small rivulets down her face.

Suddenly, the rain around her stopped, as if she was being shielded by something and Lily turned to see her temporary saviour from the rain. A slight frown graced her face as she had looked up into a scowl as her sister leered down at her.

"You'll be sick by morning, Lillianna, get out of this wretched rain. Don't you know that rain brings about illness if you sit in it too long? Of all people _you_ should know that."

Lily didn't say anything in reply, but got up and followed her sister as she turned on her heel to quickly walk away. The sound of the rain and the occasional sound of Petunia cursing as the water splashed onto her muddied jeans was all that could be heard. Once they reached the house, she threw open the door.

"Mother! Your delinquent daughter has finally been brought back home!" she spat derisively as she tore her shoes and coat off and ran upstairs.

Lily just stood in the doorway of the warm house—looking up and around hazily, as if this house wasn't hers and she was in some surreal reality. The faint smells of food wafted in from the kitchen, but they were not warm and she guessed that dinner was already cold by now. The fireplace in the living room held no fire and a musty haze of smoke filled the room—suggesting that her father had already retired back to working in that isolated room. It said that her mother was in the kitchen, waiting for Lily to walk in.

Slowly taking off her shoes, she looked herself over in the full-length mirror nearby and found that she was synonymous to a drowned rat. Despite her pitiful appearance, she walked on the warm carpet and stepped onto the marble kitchen floor, standing in the archway as she caught a full glance of her mother sitting at the kitchen table, working.

There was a studious look on her face, absent of all the usual motherly sentiments that shone so brightly on her beautiful face. Beautiful locks of red hair were let loose from their strict ponytail for once and framed the picture perfect mother that sat at the mostly cleared off dinner table. Mostly cleared off in that there was only one place, one set of cutlery and dishes, left that was still set up and prepared to accept one more at the table.

Lily.

After a few more seconds, her mother looked up and the studious look changed. It did not change to represent anything motherly at all. It shone of cold brilliance and disappointment. It was the face of frustration as a faint frown marred the otherwise beautiful face of her mother.

"Lily… sit down and eat. You'll catch a cold out in the rain."

_Lily, I'm very disappointed in you… again._

These words had been said to her so many times that hearing them once more didn't matter. The underlying meaning still hurt, and that was what mattered. The implications of those words that weren't face value had long ago brought deep wounds that continued to bleed.

Obediently, Lily sat down and her mother took her plate, filled it with food, and served it—as hot and fresh as if Lily was eating with everyone else.

The fireplace was out, her father was working, her mother was working, and Petunia was on the phone. This meal represented everything that the current situation was not. The heat in the food was fresh, but it lingered of a time when she should've been here. The time that this meal represented was gone only hours before.

"I worry about you, love. Why do you do this to us? To me? Is it not enough that we've given you so much already? Is this not enough for you? Do you need _more_?" Her mother sighed and ran a hand through her long deep red locks. "You're such a disappointment sometimes. Please, just finish your meal and go to sleep. Tomorrow we'll go do something—together—and later in the evening I can drop you off at the psychiatrist before work. Your father will pick you up at seven."

Lily nodded as her mother cleared up her papers and moved her working site—leaving Lily alone. Once her mother was fully gone and not even traces of her perfume could be noticed, Lily turned her head sideways to look out the sliding door windows and out at the deck as the rain hit it and splashed against the surface. The rain had gotten harder and louder since returning home and she realized that she only just missed the storm. The calm heavy rain she was out in before was like a drizzle compared to the water that now came in torrents.

The dark, stormy night looked angry, and Lily thought that this was what her mother must be feeling underneath all that fairly quiet, restrained motherly sentiment. It was all inadequate and it was here Lily first realized that she, herself, was also inadequate. No one expected anything of her because they realized she was incapable of such things. Excelling was natural for her, but Lily could never be expected to do anything else. In such an inwardly dysfunctional family, things like expectations were hardly considered. In such an outwardly functional and loving family, things like expectations were never expected because they were always outwardly exceeded.

In such a family implied feelings of anger, despair, pride and achievement were common.

"I'm… such a failure to everyone."

To please herself, to please her parents, to please her sister, to please them all; she would become great and they would be proud of Lily Evans.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Hey, thanks everyone, I truly appreciate the possibly five minutes you take out of your day to review for me.

Gavin: Yes, yes I do write like this. On and off I'll change where the story is happening to somewhere else and then back again. Trust me, when I have a mental block on chapters, I'll announce it to the world.

Stormy: Hmm. Well, I can't really tell you. And the way it looks to be progressing you'll just have to wait and see.

Comments:

Boo. I didn't like this chapter. AT ALL. It was a horror to write and I rewrote it about three times before something half-legible came out. To say the least, I'm pretty bitter about how it finally turned out. All I can really say is that Lily has pretty messed up relations with everyone. If you didn't like this chapter either, it's okay because I hated it; but that's all up to you now, isn't it?

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	11. Anxiety

Chapter Eleven: Anxiety

"This year's banquet should be splendid, especially with you running the majority of it, right Lily?" Emily Richardson asked, smiling. It was not often they spent time together, but in the few times they did, it was quite apparent in this girl by how much she openly admired Lily's popularity.

Popularity was such a ridiculous thing and Lily knew that if it weren't so convenient a concealment she would have done away with it and traded away her popularity for all the happiness in the world. However, it was rare to be popular and truly happy at once.

"Yes, it should be absolutely wonderful. Wethersett didn't do such a bad job of last year though; after all she had Finnegan to help her."

After which they promptly got married.

Emily nodded thoughtfully. "I don't know, I didn't really go last year—I mean, I had gotten sick and decided for the better that I shouldn't," she said, backing up her words as if they were like poison that would corrupt Lily.

Lily could only smile slightly at this. Everywhere she went, everyone she knew was trying to impress her—so that they might glean from her popularity, from her 'happiness.' Truthfully, she was getting quite sick of it. Once this year was over, that ladder in her life would be burnt to the ground—left for the others to piece the ashes together. Lily could only wonder what would happen to it—whether it would continue on or become a silly thing that everyone only joked about.

No.

Not here. Not in this school.

"Such a shame, it really was wonderful. I can't remember which prefect I was assigned to go with, but everything really was quite lovely. I hope I can only do but match the expertise that Fiona Wethersett put into it."

Emily nodded. "Yes, Fiona Wethersett really was a wonderful Head Girl, but I think you definitely have done better than her. The Halloween banquet was really wonderful this year."

It really was just a reminder of where Lily stood in this school—how this girl treated her with such submissiveness, adoration and respect. There was such admiration in her voice and her face that Lily could do nothing but oblige such expectations. It didn't matter that she, herself, all alone, was inadequate, but if popularity did this, if it hid those inadequacies to form something that everyone would love and adore and admire then popularity was a necessity.

"Too kind," she quipped. "Well, I'm afraid I've got a tutoring session with someone now, Richardson, it was nice talking to you," she said, parting her with a wave.

Emily stopped at the library doors and smiled, waving back. Just as she turned she looked around, staring around; looking lost as to where her feet had taken her as she followed Lily around and talked with her. Boys would often run into others staring openly at her, but this was probably a first that a girl happened to forget where they were going.

As a slightly cruel experiment a while back, Lily had simply circled a few aimless halls before heading to her original destination to see how long Emily would follow her for. It seemed that, given the chance, this girl would follow her to the ends of the earth and back again. Such… sheep needed a shepherd… and so they search for someone to look up to—to make an example of.

Walking in, she saw James already seated at the table, book open with a studious look on his face. Smiling slightly, she walked up to him and sighed loudly as she sat down.

"You should stop pretending that you're actually working on your own. I know better, James Potter," she chastised. Sitting down next to him, she leaned on the table and looked at his work, smiling slightly. "You delinquent… actually doing something productive without me."

James just smiled at her. "Can't always be troublesome to you," he said errantly, scribbling down another long paragraph. Currently, he seemed to be working on a paper on the useful uses of dragon's blood for Potions. Lily watched as his hand glided over the parchment like a typewriter, writing neat, but feverish cursive. For a boy, he had fairly neat writing, and Lily was surprised to see his hand trace the letters in graceful curves and loops.

After a quick scan through of his written work, Lily thought that maybe he didn't need her for Potions tutoring anymore—maybe he had already gotten the hang of this, maybe he had finally gotten good enough on his own. Looking up from the neat cursive writing, she looked at his neat yet messy face. His hair stuck out at all possible ends, but it gave him a charm that no one else could pull off. Regardless of how messy or disorganized his hair seemed, it also seemed that nothing could take away the seeming enchantment that must've been put on his face.

"So I guess we'll be going to Yule together as well," he said suddenly.

Lily blinked, taken off-guard by his sudden speech. Composing herself quickly, realizing she must look like some love-struck school girl—staring at a boy so openly and shamelessly—and smirked slightly. "Well, we're the Heads, you and I, James, we have little choice. Besides, who else might I bring as a date?"

"Sirius Black, for one. There's also someone else I hear is quite smitten with the charms and wiles of Lily Evans," he said with a grin tugging at his face.

Blinking, Lily's eyes widened slightly. Lily had remembered someone asking her this similar thing near the beginning of the year and she had answered quickly, concisely and demandingly, wanting to step on and crush the hopes and dreams of getting together with Lily Evans as quickly as possible so the pain would be lasting long after.

"Who?" she asked, without the same desire for the same outcome. In fact, she found that she was hoping for quite the different outcome.

Putting his quill down, he turned so he could fully look at her, causing Lily to feel slightly uncomfortable—however only inwardly. "He's in Gryffindor and his name starts with a J. Can you guess who?"

Racking her brain quickly, Lily came up with only one possibility. She had no knowledge of anyone else but this boy sitting in front of her that fit such a clue. Quirking an eyebrow, Lily smirked at him slightly. "Really, James, this won't get you anywhere. Your sentiment is appreciated, but I must thoroughly—"

"Well sorry for passing on the thoughts and feelings of a poor and undeserving Jack McRiley," he said, cutting her off.

Mentally slapping herself for making such outrageous presumptions Lily blamed it all on her curiosity for this boy and her lack of knowledge of the people in her house. Well, it was not a wonder that Jack did not come to mind—Jack was a boy who scaled next to nothing on any ladder and didn't even appear on her radar. Those not on the ladder were just about as invisible as the wind to her—and she would openly admit it as well.

"—deny any merit of a proposal of affection from someone else's mouth other than the owners of such feelings. What do I look like? An address with which a letter may be mailed to through other means? Tell that ridiculous boy he is not good enough for me."

James just looked at her amusedly, with an eyebrow raised slightly. "I already have. I've told him straight and true that Lily Evans is too good for everyone else. He didn't believe me but I told him I would pass the sentiment on anyway. So, I think I've finished my Potions essay for the moment. You're using a muggle recipe to base yours on aren't you? Getting credit for muggle studies as well, hmm? Two birds with one stone, I suppose."

Lily smiled smartly. "Well of course, if you're smart you would do it too. The uses and misuses of formaldehyde are suitable enough, don't you think?"

Getting up, James started to clear the table and gather up his things. "Well, I wouldn't want to waste the time of Lily Evans any more than I have today, so I'll thank her and leave the presence of living, breathing royalty."

Opening her mouth in shock and playful amusement, she sighed heavily. "James! I am not a princess so you shouldn't think of me as one."

James nodded as he turned to leave the study nook by the window they had found themselves. It was fairly isolated and few people ever went there, especially during the winter because the air seemed to sap in through those specific windows, causing the area to become slightly colder than the rest of the well-warmed school.

"You're right; I don't think of you as anything close to a princess, I think of you as a Lily. See you around, Lils."

Smiling fondly at his retreating back, Lily sighed. "Farewell, James."

Getting up from her seat, Lily turned to leave the library and walked down the empty corridors and found herself eventually caught at one of the windows, glancing out at the frozen snow-covered lake, gazing fondly at her spot. Closing her eyes, she imagined the rain falling and splashing everywhere, drenching everything as a cooling refresher—better than the spring breeze. Better than the spring breeze is the spring rain because it washed you clean of everything.

Only a little less than three months and she had already found out about so much in this year. Classes aside, she had begun to find little pieces of glass everywhere. Those missing pieces of glass from her hypothetical body of shattered glass, left to drop bits and pieces of herself everywhere. Everywhere she could see glass and she realized that only this year had she made an effort to pick them up and put them back together into what they were.

"It's nice to look at the snow fall, isn't it?"

Lily turned at the sudden voice, breaking out of her dazed stupor at looking out at the snow. She saw a boy—most likely from her year and most likely from her house—carrying auburn hair and sea green eyes. There was nothing noteworthy about him and the average person would most likely forget both name and face two hours later. It was not a memorable face, nor a memorable voice, which was why Lily was now at a loss of who this boy was.

"Yes, I like to pretend it's covering up all the idiots in this world so that they may hibernate and return when Spring comes to thaw them and all their idiotic ideas out. I'm Lily Evans, sorry for such crude musings; is there anything I can help you with?" she asked kindly.

The boy blushed a faint crimson and Lily could only guess the reason his hands were clasped behind his back was not for respect but to hide the only public display of nervousness. It was not unusual for people to be nervous around her—around her, Lily Evans, social queen of this ridiculous school with ridiculous obsessions. She supposed that, in some equally ridiculous way, this made her just as ridiculous.

"Actually… I was wondering if you were… busy this evening? Seeing as how classes are over for the day and you've finished your tutoring with Potter."

Quirking an eyebrow, Lily smiled slightly. "Oh, ah, nothing really. I was planning to take a walk around the grounds with Rose—if she wasn't too busy that is. Why do you ask?" she questioned; however the tone with which she phrased that might have been interpreted rather as an investigation more than a simple question.

A visible spread of red appeared on his face. "Ah… well, if you would like to do something with me—"

"I am sorry," she cut off, "But I must say no. I really don't have the interest in 'finding someone' if that's what you call it. You'll find nothing here; go chase some other girl, McRiley. It may sound a bit cruel, but you're wasting your time with me."

A sad smile spread over his face and he sighed slightly. "Well, it was worth a try, I suppose. I just want you to know that I've always really liked and admired you—always—ever since third year… I was just too afraid… that this would happen. Now that it has, I guess it doesn't matter."

Keeping a stoic yet kind face, she watched him leave and turned back to watch the snow fall.

Soon.

Soon December would be gone and Spring would come again. This wretched, blinding, suffocating snow would leave and flowers would once again be allowed to bloom in the spring rains as they fell.

"How cruel, Evans, how cruel. That boy really liked you, you know. Such a shame too—and for how long? But, I guess you have your reasons for denying the seemingly undying affections of Jack McRiley."

Lily turned to see Alicia smirking at her, with a quirked eyebrow. Raising her own, she gave her a look of disbelief and uncaring. "What does it matter? That boy isn't important."

"Not as important as the Head Boy, no," she agreed, pointing something else out.

Snorting, Lily folded her arms. "Certainly not. How can a nobody match up against a Head Boy? Or a Head Girl for that matter?"

"A nobody? How cruel."

Sighing obstinately, Lily turned away from the window to walk down the corridor. If Alicia was to be an annoyance, she might as well be able to walk while it happens—so she could vent some of her frustration out on the stone floors. "What are you on about, Rose? You're never _this_ utterly annoying."

Alicia smiled innocently.

"So… what's going on between you and Potter?" Alicia asked, innocently enough. However, it was that innocence that deceived the ears and told the mind to expect tricks.

Lily bristled slightly. It was an insinuation, an accusation, posed innocently enough in the form of a question. Having had long decided that innocent things were often not innocent enough, she frowned. "What are you implying, Rose?" she said low, obviously trying to drag her friend's head down from up among the clouds.

Alicia just shrugged. "Nothing really, just curious."

"We're just friends is all, not jealous are you?" she said, quirking a crooked smile that was special for this friendship alone.

Laughing mildly, Alicia shook her head. "No. Just that I'm happy you've found yourself a boyfriend. Unlikely choice… and an unlikely match… but there must be something that keeps you there with him."

"Potter is not my boyfriend, as opposed to your ridiculous belief, he is just a friend."

"A close friend you'd like to be closer to, hmm?"

Lily's mouth shot open; half annoyed, half insulted. "Hardly. That boy is simply… simply… this is nonsense to think that I like James Potter in the slightest," she amended, already knowing her mistake and seeing her friend's smile grow wider.

"Nonsense? I think it would be nonsense to be blind to something so _horribly_ obvious, don't you think?"

"Yes, and you're thinking nonsense because what is obvious is that I don't like anyone in that manner," she said in matter-of-fact tones—at least, that's what she hoped and would have liked to sound like.

"So, then, being blind to the obvious is nonsense? Then the sensible thing to do is accept what is obvious so you're not crapping nonsense?"

By the tone of her voice, Lily did not like where this was going, but, to be fair, she hardly had any idea where it was going either.

"Yes," Lily nodded, thoughtful about what she was agreeing to.

Alicia nodded knowingly, as if enlightenment had hit her like a ton of bricks. "I see. Well then, now that my understanding is cleared up, I think you should reach deep down inside and realize that you like that boy, come to terms with it, and stop crapping nonsense!"

Mouth aghast in horror, Lily cast her friend a scandalized look. "How dare you! James Potter is _not_ Lily Evans material!"

"Again with the nonsense, Lily. Face up, buck up, and accept that he _is_ good enough for Lily Evans because Lily Evans has made sure of that herself. Farewell and good day, love! I hope your day turns out as splendid as mine has!" she said cheerfully, trotting off ahead of Lily, leaving her behind to fume at her last word since shock had entered Lily's system so brutally that she was at a loss for words.

She did not like James Potter.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Thanks for the reviews everyone, even though I thought the last chapter was horrible you still said nice things about it even though you didn't have to. Reading those makes my day. Terribly sorry for the wait some of you might have put up.

Mischief: Well, heaven strike me down and smite me with all the righteous fury of a thousand thunderstorms for putting a different perspective on one of heaven's gifts to man. I'm at least happy that you were tweaked about it enough to spend maybe a whole three minutes of your day thinking and writing about it, and being angry about it the next ten. Thanks, love.

Comments:

Oh, Emily Richardson is terribly shallow. I realize that now. Fully and utterly and I am somewhat horrified that she is that way. Alas, we are far too into the story to change unimportant characters and give enough time to develop them fully to do so. I swear I had writer's block on the last chapter but the floodgates have opened since this one. Alicia Rose is probably one of my favourite 'other' characters in this story too. So very blunt. Oops, I've talked too much, now.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	12. Crashing Walls

Chapter Twelve: Crashing Walls

"What's got your knickers knotted, lovely Lillian?"

Lily turned to see the smooth, conniving face of Sirius Black. The smile that graced his face was nothing short of pure chivalry and—was Lily not in so bad a mood set by her completely guilty innocent friend—she might've been a little more taken with him. However, as the case presented itself, Lily Evans was in a foul mood and certainly not in one to be very receptive to the devilish charms of that devil Sirius Black.

"Nothing that concerns you, Black, so don't bother yourself over it."

Sirius gave a simple smile, suggesting a better than average mood today. The addition and subtraction of the colliding moods of both Lily and Sirius most certainly were not equating to a very healthy outcome for at least one of these two.

Sitting opposite her, he leaned on the table and smiled charmingly at her—it seemed he would do nothing today in the norm to get on her nerves other than being completely sensitive and genuine as a genuine gentleman. On most days, Lily spoke her words carefully, but it seemed that on the night of the Halloween ball those words she so innocently spoke to him—encouraging him—she now severely regretted.

"But I can't ignore such a fair angel as yourself who is so very much in distress," he said smoothly, in polite and sweet even tones.

Sighing Lily quirked an eyebrow amusedly at him; hoping for a quick end to this pitiful display. Such… unwavering persistence was, on some level, refreshing, but at the same time, at this very moment, so utterly chivalrous that she found it hard to deny him or even discourage such beneficial behaviour.

Truly, now she knew why he was so rightly called the Prince Charming of Hogwarts.

"What a gentleman," she said with candour, "To sacrifice time out of your busy schedule to find out exactly what ails me. Your efforts are in vain you pompous toad, I won't—"

"Be fooled by this. I've been told as much. So, my dear, if you at least won't tell your knight in shining armour what's the matter, then have a go with Rose, won't you?"

Lily frowned and folded her arms. At this moment, _anyone_ was better than Alicia and all her preposterous insinuations and equally preposterous suggestions and conclusions. That girl had no proof and nothing to gain from this other than her best friends' unwanted humiliation within a school that adored her.

"I will not step within at least a ten metre radius of that girl—and that radius would be much larger if this school was able to facilitate such a demand."

Sirius smiled sincerely as he bridged his hands and rest his chin on them. "Friend troubles, then? Well, what about Richardson, Fornacis or Hawkes, I've seen you run around with them from time to time."

Smiling serenely, Lily sighed. "We don't really know each other all that well. More close acquaintances than a truly close circle of friends."

"I see. Well, seeing as today is the second Saturday of this fair and lovely month—but of course not as fair and lovely as the fair and lovely Lily Evans—how about coming to Hogsmeade with me? I've got some free time, free coins and wish lists to fulfill for Christmas."

Quirking her eyebrows slightly, Lily gave him an amused look. "You're hardly worth my valuable time, Black, but it is the Christmas season and I feel the incredible need to do some charity work today."

Grinning wolfishly, Sirius got up, walked round the table and offered a hand to her. "Your charity case awaits, my dear."

Without accepting his hand, Lily rose from her seat. It was always good measure to think before you act—and this was one such situation. What would people make of it—that Lily had finally been won over by the devilish charm of Sirius Black? What rumours would fly around this school? Where would it go? Would it simply be a face-value situation—like her life was right now? What were the ramifications of accepting this offer in an empty Great Hall and taking it outside to a very much public Hogsmeade?

Nothing good to be sure.

"Yes, it does, but it's certainly not you. You've cheered me, Sirius, and for the first time in your life, I have, yes, called you by your first name; so that will be your reward." Walking away from a potentially damaging scene Lily sighed a breath of relief mentally, but also mentally told her that this case in particular was slightly crueller than the others. Making this boy think he had a chance then shooting him down like that in the most clipped of manners seemed a bit too much—but Sirius Black had high tolerance to rejection from her.

It was Lily who felt uneasy about it.

As she had grabbed her coat and boots from the Heads room, she soon found her way outside and well on her way to Hogsmeade. There were already many footprints on the path as evidence of a very busy weekend—as fresh snow had just fallen last night and covered previous disturbances in an otherwise clean sheet of white.

Today, she decided, she would take a trip around Hogsmeade getting some errands done. Lily didn't have much money in the wizarding world as compared with the muggle one, so she never found enough reason or friendship to get anything for anyone—as Alicia always got her present here and Lily got Alicia's in the muggle world. Exchanged precisely on Christmas day, they made a ritual out of it and spent the rest of the day enjoying the snow and hot chocolate.

Lily's walk around Hogsmeade appeared aimless, and—for the most part—in actuality was. There was really no reason for her to be here in Hogsmeade—she did not have a best friend to go shopping with at the present; Fornacis, Hawkes and Richardson had all entertained themselves without her—regardless of the begging and pleading beforehand. Other than enjoying this cool and refreshing weather, there was no reason that Lily should be here.

After dipping into a few aimless stores, Lily found herself in a curious new shop that had just recently opened just by the looks of it. Upon entering, she found herself assaulted with a warming aroma of incense and other pleasant herbal fragrances. It was soothing but definitely stifling to the senses by way of smell.

"Afternoon, my dear, how are you on this fine winter day?"

Lily turned to see someone emerge from what she supposed was a back room and smile genially. "Well, thank you. What sort of store is this? I'm quite curious, actually—and it seems that my mindless drifting has brought me here."

The clerk smiled and he walked right up in front of her. He held a charming face and seemed to be in likeness and demeanour in exact duplication as Trevor Wethersett—although they looked very much different but were both still very much defined by 'good looking.'

"We keep odds and ends here. Just browse around, I'm sure you'll find something to your taste if not liking. I'll be only a moment away, just call if you need anything."

Lily nodded slightly and smiled as he took off. With further inspection of the store, she realized that, truly, this was a shop for odds and ends. There were crystal vials, and crystal mirrors, silver spoons and silver gauntlets. Nearly every imaginable odd and end seemed to be in this shop, but her focus was caught by one thing. It was an insignificant item really—seemingly of no use or value. How it was supposed to be categorized by odd or end was by far beyond the perception of Lily Evans.

The simple mirror stood up on its own stand—but could not be altered without having to move the base as well. Circling it were two snakes, a head connected to a tail and a tail likewise. It was simple in design and seemingly in origin in every way possible, but Lily kept in mind that mirrors could be the most deceptive of all. They showed only face-value and nothing in or under.

Gazing at herself in the mirror, she smiled, looking over her reflection. That smile soon melted away and she found herself staring at a very sad little girl. That girl took steps away from the mirror and even turned around to go sit near a very familiar spot by a lake. The sun in the background was quickly swallowed up by black storm clouds and rain started to fall—like ink for it was as black as such. The inky darkness fell onto her and turned her grey.

Every vibrant, envious, strand of red hair became as grey and bright emerald green eyes dimmed slightly—as if reflecting the grey surface of the lake.

Someone with an umbrella walked by and glanced down at her. "Foolish, inadequate child. Can't you do better?" The person was spiteful and vindictive, accusing her of something that Lily had been avoiding for so long.

The person soon left and someone else came by—also carrying an umbrella. This person was unfamiliar, but could be discerned as a girl. "For all those acting lessons you're still terrible at it." This voice was tired and slightly irate, as if it was tired of having to put up with her existence.

Once again leaving, she was replaced by someone else. "Simply isn't good enough—how disappointing."

The voices and the people were bitter and cruel—these were the accusations that Lily had been avoiding all her life. All her life she had striven to do better—to exceed—to please everyone and become something people accepted and were proud of. There was no happiness in inadequacies, in reality, in disappointment. What could possibly be gleaned from such things?

As Lily watched the scene before her, she soon found herself sitting by the grey lake, in that grey world. Tears flowed down her cold cheeks, burning their way down and mingling with the inky darkness that fell from a dark heaven. Lily cried for everything and the nothing she was. This life was meaningless and only served to cause her suffering. Others certainly had been pleased by her, but certainly not enough. There were always higher expectations and if she didn't meet those no one would accept her. The alternatives had already been tried and failed miserably.

What was the point of anything if the end result and reward was nothing?

It soon started to rain crimson and letters came floating towards the ground, being painted black and red all over as they fell, floating on the surface of the water and soaking through as more and more fell from the sky—as if everyone's mail had ended up here.

Getting up, Lily started to walk towards that black, murky surface of water. The water was cold and she gasped slightly. Taking another step she felt a pain in her leg and found bright red blood flowing from it.

"Miss!"

Snapping out of what seemed like a dream, Lily blinked and saw the ceiling of the shop. The mirror she had previously been admiring lay to the side as a small cut on her leg bled freely. It seemed that the mirror had fallen on her and one of the snake heads had managed to cut her. However, it didn't exactly explain why she was on the floor.

"Are you alright? Stay here; I'll go get bandages, cloth and some ice. I dabble in muggle medicines so don't be alarmed. Try not to move your leg there."

Lily nodded slightly as she looked around her. A few other things on the same shelf had fallen—but nothing had miraculously been broken. Glancing at the mirror again, Lily picked it up and it once again showed her a simple reflection of herself with a slight look of despair mixed wonder. It was curious and absolutely mysterious, but some things should not be explained and were better to be left alone.

This mirror was one such thing.

The clerk returned with the things and patched up her wound quickly. It seemed that he was bad at any healing spells and thus relied on the use of muggle medicines and remedies. The ice numbed her wound and the bandage stopped all flow of blood. Thankfully this wound could be kept under her uniform and would not be gawked at while nattering questions about it buzzed around her head like flies.

After some quick apologies and explanations Lily left the store behind with that odd mirror—hopefully to never see either ever again. Deciding to have her Hogsmeade trip cut significantly short, she walked back to the castle and found that it was not short at all. In fact, as she entered the Great Hall, the smells of a divinely cooked meal wafted around her. Sitting down next to Alicia Rose—whom she decided she was still quite clocked at—she ate her meal with little regard for the people around her—even though she went through all the motions of being socially active during dinner. None of the conversations registered in her mind and Lily found that she was mildly agreeing or disagreeing with everything that was said.

A lone owl was sent in and landed on the arch of Lily's chair, dropping a letter into her lap. Everyone turned to her to ask questions, but Lily kept silent. Finally turning it over, she saw her name in bright crimson letters and inwardly held her breath.

Overall, it was a beautiful letter and promised a deadly thing.

"You know I won't read it with not a shred of privacy, girls. I'm afraid I must leave you all for a bit. With a resounding round of vocal disappointment, Lily gave them all a quick smile and got up and walked just outside of the Great Hall, out of sight. Dinner was nearly over anyway and if she didn't read this soon, her temporary plans for privacy would be crushed.

Opening the letter carefully, she unfolded a letter written in crimson ink.

As her eyes danced over the letter, growing wider with every line, she soon dropped it and stood there stunned for a moment. This letter must be a lie, it must be fake, it must be everything and anything not real. Maybe it was some elaborate joke pulled by someone, maybe it was… maybe it was…

"Lily…? Are you alright, you seem spooked."

Lily slowly turned her head and looked at James with wild eyes. After about five seconds, she sensed that he was going to move and bolted from that shock. All at once, that feeling as if your feet were glued to the floor disappeared and she found the nearest exit. The snow was falling and—given enough time—would make her untraceable and Lily had planned to never fully return to this place ever again.

As Lily ran out, the first snowflakes touched her fevered brow, cooling her fevered mind and steadying her stumbling steps. The snow was high and stifling to walk in; it would not take much to trip and fall today.

Those steps—that had started originally as a lost little girl's—were now strong and even, speaking every ounce and weighing every bit the same as steel. Steel was strong and it was true; it tipped arrows and made them fly straight—as they were meant to. If the archer was strong enough, no rain or wind could deter that arrow from its mark.

The wind overhead howled among the clouds and stirring storm in a dangerous melody, threatening your life—threatening to chill your flesh from bone if you stayed out too long. Wind worked in harmony with snow to create beauty in the blizzard of a cold winter's night. They were inseparable in this storm and flowed among one another so harmoniously that it was difficult to tell them apart.

However, the snow was soft and gentle; the wind was bitter and cold.

This definition was what separated the two. One floated about you and the other hit you so forcefully and sharply that it froze your breath and used the snow to sting your face.

The snowflakes now touched Lily's face and she felt it sting her wind-bitten cheeks. On this night alone… there was one thing that rain wouldn't have ever been able to take away from her. The rain took everything away. It took away her happiness, it took away her status, and it took away her life; but now… on a dark night in the midst of a snowstorm, something else was taken away. Something real, something precious, and something so much further than her own stupid little problems had been taken away. Like a flash of lightning that letter that dropped so ceremoniously in her lap, that letter that had been sealed up so perfectly with her name in scarlet cursive on the front so perfectly… who could've known that it held the most imperfect message of all?

A message that stunk of the Grim Reaper himself, no matter how nicely done up it is in lace and frills, is never a perfect or beautiful thing. That horrible sentiment alone is enough to make you throw up your contents—creating instead a better reflection of what it truly was. It was ugly as sin and as wretched as this storm. The worst of all sentiments… to be painted up like something to be marvelled at… it truly was sin on earth.

Feet trudging aimlessly in the snow, she eventually found that they had instinctively moved to her spot by the lake. Whether it was a comfort issue or simple routine, she didn't care. The letter was taken with her—everyone would just assume she had forgotten something important after sitting so silently for so long with an indescribable expression on her face—one that did not speak of grief in the slightest. As she stopped at her spot, she slowly turned around and saw a lone figure trudging in the snow quickly after her.

James Potter had followed her out, in the middle of dinner, on the bleakest of nights and on the fiercest of blizzards. The expression on his face and the letter and envelope in his hand was proof enough that he read it.

As he came closer, she felt her eyes well up with previously dammed up tears. This would be the first time she had cried—visibly—to anyone. The fact that she was… now… to this boy… was unbelievable, was so unspeakable that she did not think about it. Mysteries of James Potter were to remain mysteries and she didn't want to pick apart something that was already working out so well.

"It's just so… and it's so horrible that you… you can't… imagine… the pain and suffering… in a… a letter…" she echoed, trailing off. Simply standing there, in the snow, with no rain to hide her tears and no rain to take away everything from her—so she could just blindly make her way through life as unfeeling as ever—Lily felt lost.

James just stood there, watching, waiting. What was he waiting for? What was he watching her for? Was she some sort of freak show that was there to cry and just be miserable for his own amusement? Was there something about her that made him just _stare_ so openly at her, with a blank, stupid expressionless face?

"Can't you see?" she asked, shaking her head as the tears flowed stronger and faster. "Are you blind? James Potter are you blind?" she asked, a little more desperately. Her sanity was slowly slipping and she could feel that her words would soon no longer be coherent or plausible or even recognizable to anything at all.

Giving up on herself, giving up on everything, Lily sank down to her knees and cried bitterly. No one cared about her. Not even James Potter cared about her. All those times… all those smiles… all that… nothing. The mystery of James Potter was solved—and it was ugly, unpleasant, and unfriendly. Well, what did she honestly expect?

Within the next few seconds she could feel that he had pulled her towards him. He laid a hand on her head and another on her back as he cradled her in his arms. Lily cried harder. This was obligation. What else would he do? Leave a girl in the middle of a snowfield? Crying? What kind of boy would he be? Sirius Black wouldn't even do that—and Lily could accuse that boy of many things that he may never do.

"It'll be alright, Lily. You'll go to sleep tomorrow, you'll dream of that rain you love so much, and you'll wake up in a new day. Everything will be alright. Nothing will have changed unless you let it. No one can change the way you feel but you. You dictate what happens next. The sun will rise tomorrow and I'll even wake you up so you can watch the sunset. This will all be gone and past."

Lies. Such beautiful, and comforting, lies. Like poetry or a melody.

Like a broken record, it played the same old and tired tune. It only caused shards of glass to vibrate around Lily, because that crystal clear image of Lily Evans shattered like glass and now this poet was singing such comforting lies to her that vibrated the errant shards around her—shards that still remained poised to strike and shatter her even more—create more fractures in her image.

Yet it was so beautiful she couldn't help but believe it.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Thanks for the comments, guys; really, you're all sweethearts. Thanks much.

Comments:

Ah... this chapter... hmm, I don't know what to say about it. Well, whatever way the snow blows I guess. I didn't hate it, but I didn't like it either.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	13. Deceitful Melodies

Chapter Thirteen: Deceitful Melodies

The night had been dark and sorrowful and ever so unkind by providing Lily a clear and beautiful view from her bedroom window that night. The moonlight sparkled upon the clean white sheets of snow as snowflakes cascaded down lightly, blanketing the area in a serene, cold warmth that just soothed the soul.

It was cruelty in the most beautiful of forms—and Lily found herself appreciating it nonetheless as tears continued to fall down her face only to dry up and fall again. This scene was unfair and she sat up long into the night, just looking out her window desperately—as if some sign from above would show her that everything that had just happened today was a lie—that she was still wandering around in Hogsmeade, or still wandering around in that mirror.

One way or another, she could feel things start to fall apart and fresh pain started to become etched into her being. It was blinding pain similar to blinding love—for that's what it was. Lily felt blind. There was nothing left at home, and there was no where else she could go or do. There was no one left to please but herself and even then she didn't feel like she should simply because of the inadequacies of it all.

Despite this terrifying loss, Lily had gained one small thing.

A finer appreciation for that boy.

James Potter simply held her through the tears all the way through until she supposedly fell asleep in his arms—at which point he must have made like a gentleman and carried her back to bed. Of course, hoping that it was secretive in every way shape and form—that sight, of James carrying her unconscious form back to her room, was sure to stir up everyone into a tizzy of rumours and assumptions and above all _gossip_.

Then again… what would it matter? What would it matter if her image shattered? It wouldn't matter much it seemed, but the reflection of it seemed so large—like one of those warped mirrors at a carnival that distorted everything you looked at it. The only way to stop those distorted and imperfect images of herself was to destroy all the fake mirrors to find the one that was suitable, simply tossing away the shards of the rest—including the one that showed reality. That would be the image everyone saw, that would be the image that she would become and that would be the image that granted her success and her dreams to become perfect.

It was ill achieved and cost her happiness.

Lily Evans was perfect to everyone but herself. They all watched her glow and saw her smile, feeling elated themselves; as if just her existence and the way she lived was reason enough for them to be happy with themselves. It was an odd effect and she wondered if some did not look down upon her, thinking her unhappy to have such a life. But this image was so perfect and flawless that none could see its imperfections but she—who created it so masterfully.

All the while Lily was looking after this image of herself; she hadn't realized that there was one other who had a key to the locked door behind her. When she noticed that someone held a copy, he was already there and she saw him standing next to her in her perfect image that now was of imperfection. When she turned to see who it was, rather than trusting the mirror that could reflect false things, she saw warmth and distortion. That distortion was nice regardless of how much she attempted to put a wall there and ignore it—hoping to cover it up.

When she looked to her right—away from the mirror, she saw James Potter.

At that time, she was so shocked that she simply turned straight around, not staring at the mirror or at that boy and simply taking in all the shards of glass and mirror that surrounded her and her perfect image. It was devastating. When she turned back to look at her perfect image, there was already a hairline fracture in it that was deepening.

It would soon shatter, and, tonight, she just saw it shatter.

Wailing out in her grief, Lily held her hands over her ears as she screamed, blocking out the noise of her own shrill sorrow. She did not want to hear that noise, because if she did, then it would make it all real. Everything that letter had told her; screaming would somehow make it real for her—more believable and plunge her into more than just sorrow.

Whether she was heard or not, she was glad that no one came to console her. Hearing comforting lies were not what she needed right now, right now she needed to get rid of this pain. Now, more than ever, Lily just wished for the rain to come, even as she curled her knees up to her chest on the ground, looking out her spectacular view of the grounds.

Lily did not know when or how she was able to sleep that night, but she woke in the morning in the same spot. Glancing at a clock, she realized that she had missed her morning classes—as it was now just half-past noon. The sun was already gleaming in the clear blue sky and the snow sparkled magnificently on the ground.

Sitting up, she went out on her balcony and breathed in a breath of the frosty air as she shuddered slightly at the cold stone of the balcony touching her bare feet.

"You were right James… the sun _did_ rise today… but I never saw the sunset… you liar."

Stepping back inside from the cold, she closed the window and pulled the curtains over them, shrouding her room in perpetual darkness—as that balcony was the only source of light for her room. Magically sensing the darkness, torches flared in all four corners of her room, shedding a warm glow of light around the room.

Deciding that Lily never really liked black, no matter how much it suited her then, and no matter how much it suited her now, she opted to stick to the basic school uniform. After a quick run in the shower, she put on the shirt, blazer and her altered long skirt. The new uniforms came in only this year, but never caught on and most were given the option of either uniform. It was supposedly to increase the level of muggle familiarity within the school by dressing everyone muggle. Lily hadn't seen the uniform the first day of school and thus wore her robes. Those that had been wearing the new uniform quickly reverted back to the school robes and now Hogwarts wear was identical to last year.

Regardless, it was a nice uniform—even within the muggle world.

Tying her usually loose hair back, she looked herself in the vanity. A thin line that could be categorized as depressed and unhappy was on her face. It wasn't a wonder why—after what just happened because of some stupid piece of paper. Blinking slowly, she sighed and smiled that charming smile this school had fallen so hopelessly in love with.

"Good morning, Lily Evans, you're looking absolutely splendid today. Anything the matter at all? No? Excellent, let's move on then."

As she exited her bedroom, she walked down the staircase and left the Heads common room. There was nothing amiss and there was still the odd student that walked the halls during lunch. However, today, everyone that passed her noticed the change in her usual attire with some interest. Truthfully, most of the girls really liked the uniform, but never found courage enough to attempt to set the trend—scared that it would not be well taken—especially by her.

"Lily! Lily Evans!"

Lily stopped and turned around to see Keily Hawkes coming after her, her robes fluttering. "Afternoon, Hawkes, what can I do for you?" she asked amiably.

Shaking her head, she smiled as they continued to walk on towards the Great Hall. "Oh, that's the new school uniform, isn't it? It looks stunning on you, I'll make sure to change into it sometime later. These robes are a bit old and I'm starting to find muggle wear quite fetching attire."

Judging by the light tones of her speech and the regular reaction upon seeing her, Lily had guessed that _this_ news about her had not travelled at all. It was a comfort to her, and it meant that Lily could continue this for as long as possible until someone asked and she desperately needed to answer the question truthfully.

"Growing up in a mainly muggle household you can imagine how used to it I am. I just decided that this school could use a bit more culture. Robes hardly show off anything—like wearing a blanket."

"Oh, yes, I completely agree. Say, where were you after dinner? You got that strange letter, left to read it and never came back. Not bad news, I hope," she added quickly.

Lily simply shrugged. "It was nothing terribly important, just the usual love letter you know," she said cheerfully.

Keily laughed riotously and sighed. "Who's it from this time? Not another from Black, I suppose!" she asked excitedly, although her tone suggested that she was going for slightly scathing. Keily Hawkes was like Emily Richardson in that neither could ever truly be mean to another living soul on this planet. There were times they were a bit bitter towards people, but never could their actions be defined as _mean_.

Lily smirked. "I wish, because then I could use it as replacement firewood. This letter was anonymous and it seems that poor boy has no nerve to even sign his name. Of course I won't consider it—who knows, he might be gutless like the Marauders."

Keily beamed—it was no secret to anyone that she had a school-girl crush on the illusions of one Moony. Lily kept her promise to James and never told a soul, but she found it even more pitiful than it already was how most people happened to idolize them sometimes with not a thread of knowledge as to who these four idiots were. "Those Marauders… so charming… Ever wonder what they look like, Lily?"

There was no trace of curiosity on her face—for she, in fact, did _not_ care any more about the Marauders since the day she met them. Marauders four, social outcasts all. Just thinking about that night and the threat of them sullying her fairly good name caused pandemonium on her nerves every time they were brought up. However, their identities were secret and admitting her presence there would be admitting their identities as well.

Then again, devils like those Marauders seemed to be tricky and cunning in all the unhealthy ways of this world and could quite possibly find one.

"Never. I'll never accept delinquents like them—especially when they don't even use real names. It's cowardly don't you think?" she asked expectantly, looking directly at Keily as they reached the entrance to the Great Hall.

Shifting a bit, Keily smiled. "I suppose. In some ways it's mysterious… but what they do is terribly dishonest. Who knows; they may even look horrible!" she said with a laugh. "I'll catch you later then Lily; I see Cassia and Sam over there."

Lily smiled and went off to sit with Alicia—who was currently seated next to Sean Patil—who was still her boyfriend. Regardless of her claims to marry him, Lily hardly believed any relationship gleaned from Hogwarts could possibly be promising. It was the same for muggles in their educational facilities. Relationships held in school simply did not last. People were too fickle with their emotions at this age to really consider any type of life-long companion.

"Afternoon, Rose, how are you today?"

Alicia turned to see Lily sit next to her. "Lily Evans, nice of you to finally join the waking world. Have fun sleeping in, you lazy girl? Missed a _fantastic_ lecture from McGonagall this morning during breakfast—about how having magical snowball fights should be kept outside where there was a fresh abundant supply and very little to cause harm to. Oh, and Emily Richardson fell in the frozen lake this morning on her walk with Tom Jordan. Bless that boy, he dove in and rescued the poor girl. Who knew she couldn't swim?"

"Tragedy that. Funnily enough I can't swim very well either—although I've always wanted to. It's just… not the most appealing thing to me at the moment—I mean, wet hair?"

Quirking an eyebrow, Alicia leaned closer. "As opposed to an unhealthy fascination with the rain, wet hair _and_ soggy clothing?" Leaning back, she sighed. "By the way, speaking of clothing, you look absolutely wonderful today. You'll definitely start something going by the end of this day."

Lily nodded. "Yeah, definitely. You know, actually, I think I'm coming down with something, tell our _dear_ misguided teachers tomorrow, won't you? And if you can mention to some prefect that I won't be at the meeting tonight."

Alicia smiled smartly. "Sure thing, love, get well soon. Best wishes and all that. I'll make sure Potter gets the memo."

Nodding curtly, Lily got up, took a piece of bread with her and walked off, tearing pieces of it apart and eating it. She might as well eat something today, even if it was just bread. It would be no help to anyone if she starved herself. Passing by the windows that faced the lake, she suddenly stopped and looked outside where something had caught her eye.

The Quidditch pitch was fairly close to the lake and she could only see a portion of that, but that portion held a small—most likely insignificant—speck up in the air. Dropping her bread and dashing outside, she looked around the pitch and up in the sky. Maybe she had missed whoever it was or perhaps she was seeing things. Seeing illusions today did not seem unlikely for her at all.

Sighing, she closed her eyes and held onto the railing that led up to the higher stands of the pitch. Sitting down in an isolated and fairly discreet corner of the Gryffindor stand, she closed her eyes. The cold soothed her and she felt warmth slowly leave her as she did nothing to warm herself. It wasn't terribly cold weather, but it was cold all the same.

This was where she met him. Met James Potter—truly—for the first time. Since then, he had been such a… such a factor in her life that she couldn't even see her life before that moment anymore. That promise of change happened and she regretted it sorely. Maybe if she had never met him the universe would never have conspired and that letter would never have come.

Maybe the letter would have come anyway and she'd only serve to be more miserable than she was now.

"Room for one more?"

Lily opened her eyes, realizing that she had closed them and was on the brink of sleep from pure exhaustion. In her gaze was James Potter, wearing winter weather from top to toe. In comparison, he looked warm—even if a bit more stifled by it all. Lily mentally reflected on what she was wearing and realized that she was, in fact, numb cold.

"Sure," she said quietly. As far as she knew, he was the only other soul at this school that knew. If the teachers knew, they were definitely keeping quiet about it. Lily was not fond of wrong attention as a child and she still wasn't. Pity and sympathy bounced off her like rubber and she only went to despise such falsities even more.

They sat together in silence for a long while until James slipped his scarf off and put it around her. It was still slightly warm and Lily sighed, leaning her head against the backboard. So much had happened to her in only a few short months… she didn't want to think about what more could possibly happen now towards the end of the year.

"What's it like?" Catching himself, he quickly looked away. "Sorry, that was rude, how are you doing?" His tone was so apologetic and so… careful that Lily just wished that this boy would disappear and replace himself with her James Potter again. This sympathy… it didn't suit him at all.

Lily closed her eyes. "What's it like…? Well… it's horrible and I'm doing horrible. Despite that, I think it's no mean feat that I can still smile, yes?" she said, smiling. There was no reason for her to tell him her worries or her sadness—it was pure coincidence he was out here and she was out here—well, to some degree it was. There was not even a speck of rain to make her feel the compulsory need to pour out her soul to him for no identifiable reason even.

"I'm sorry. I guess… I've never talked to anyone who's really had to deal with it. I don't know how to act. How should I act, Lily?"

Lily smiled; glad to know that James Potter could be improved as well—that he was not all mystery and smiles. "Just be yourself… pretend it never happened. I don't want anything to change. I dictate what happens next, right?"

"Right then. So, Yule's coming soon, hmm? Will you be taking the last dance with Sirius again?" There was something in that question that Lily thought she heard—some implied tone or meaning and found she was desperately looking for _any_ trace of jealousy. Maybe it was that or maybe it was her wishful thinking because this boy had suddenly become so much more to her than just any ordinary _boy_.

Lily smiled. "Sorry about that, James. I wasn't thinking, I guess. I suppose the whole school thinks I fancy Sirius Black now, don't they?" Turning to look at him, she felt her spirits lift as she saw him smile amusedly at her.

"After dumping that bowl of pudding on him the very next day during lunch, I highly doubt that. I keep relaying your message to him that he's got no chance with you, but he firmly believes he does."

Shaking her head, Lily sighed. "Misguided… fool. By the way, did anyone… how did I get back to the Heads room last night? In my room?"

"Well, I carried you. You see there's this passage and… hmm, better not say anything, the others will be miffed," he concluded. After a moment of silence, he broke into a grin and turned to her excitedly. "So there's this passage that we were conveniently nearby. I carried you there and entered the school from underneath the Whomping Willow—but don't go down all the way to the end—there's nothing there and the roots of that blasted tree are hard to walk through. Anyway, turn right and you'll soon be in the castle. From there you just need to follow the path and you'll come upon the Great Hall. I just carried you the rest of the way. It was late so I was as discrete as possible because McGonagall was making her rounds. Actually came to a close call right then."

Lily laughed. Another secret was out and she felt like it was Halloween all over again—where she was talking to a delinquent Prongs—only this time she found him charming. "Quite the tale. I guess no one saw, then?"

James shrugged. "Not really—wait, there were dust bunnies in the halls we were through. I'm so sorry, Lils, it will never happen again, promise."

Lily blinked slightly. No one ever called her anything but her name. Had he chosen to shorten her already shortened name to this? Why and for what purpose? One way or another, she took silent note of this and smiled, finally remembering to laugh at the joke. It was refreshing to be able to laugh so freely again and Lily often wondered why he had this effect on her.

"Right, then. You look like the spitting image of ice there, Lils," he said grinning, as he took off his coat and ceremoniously dropping it on her, so that it just fell over her head.

Lily took the coat off her head and adjusted it around her, adjusting her hair back to its perfect brilliance as well. "What a way to give a lady a coat, you dog."

"If I'm a dog, then surely you must be much better than _just_ a lady," he retorted playfully, a smile on his lips.

Shaking her head at this, she looked at him and realized how well that smile suited his face. Taking a mental picture of this, Lily sighed and remembered at last that it was her turn to speak. "Thank you, James, you've definitely cheered me. For that, I'm horribly grateful. And no one else knows… for that I'm thankful. More than you could ever possibly imagine."

James nodded. "Just get me a birthday present. It's actually tomorrow. The boys have said they've got something special planned—but won't tell me what."

"Well, your birthday, I'll keep that in mind."

Getting up, James stretched. "Anyway, I'm glad I could be of service to you, Miss Evans. Since I don't know how long you'll be out here for, and I don't want you to catch a death of cold—quite literally—and since having Lily Popsicles can't be good for the school—just leave it in the Heads common when you return. If it's not back by night I'll organize a swat team together and go searching for you."

Lily laughed again and nodded, smiling. "Sure, James; no problem. And… how do you know about swat teams?"

James smirked. "My sister married a muggle. They don't ever plan to have children though, so I fear I shall never know the joys of being an uncle to anyone—for now. I'll see you around, Lily." With that, he made his way down to the lowest row in the stands and jumped off to the stands below as a loud thud thundered for a few precious seconds and again about fifteen later.

Smiling, Lily wrapped the jacket around her tighter.

James was always there for her and it seemed that they had almost gotten closer than she and Alicia were—best friends of more than a decade and now she seemed to be closer to a boy she hardly knew for less than six months. The comparison between them was crazy and it was unthinkable how much time had passed and how much she had found out about him.

Leaning back on the stands, she closed her eyes and smiled, thinking warm thoughts of the owner of this jacket. "Dashing… charming… wonderful… everything about him is so… James Potter… I love everything about him and… and…"

Opening her eyes, Lily looked up at the sky.

It finally all made sense now. She hadn't seen it at the start and blamed it on the mysteries of James Potter, but now she saw it for what her curiosity really was. James was no more mysterious than the next person. He was even Plain Jane by definition—his Marauder status surely didn't erase that fact. This odd curiosity to know about him was so surreal and unlikely that she had, for so long, wondered what it was and now, here, when it had struck her so suddenly with the weight of it all at this very moment.

"I love James Potter," she said quietly.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Here's a general thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you! I send my love to wherever you may be in the high hopes that I am not aiding the deterioration of your eyesight by looking at a computer screen for far too long. For those asking about the letter, ah well, hmm. Clues up to now will help, it was fairly vague in the last chapter and that was what I was shooting for. I'm touched that it worked. Anyway, if you still can't figure it out you'll be waiting a while before you actually know. The mirror may or may not come back, I haven't planned for its return as of yet. It was only really a little bit of insight.

E: Wow. Poetic, powerful emotional journey; that's hardly what I think it is but I'm absolutely ridden with glee that you think so!

Comments:

Oh, this was wonderful to write. I liked writing it. It felt really smooth all the way through. I mean, I finished it so quickly and when I looked back I was thinking, wow, that must be very short! Well, let me know what you think. I liked it, and I don't like many of my chapters if you've been following.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	14. Blindness

Chapter Fourteen: Blindness

Love was a temperamental thing, it was choosy and flirtatious and ever so fickle. It was a bother, it was a wonder; it was pain, grief and joy in one package. These warm feelings, they were so very attached to love that they would seem as if to never let go—to forever guard it with these meanings—these very warm, very real, very _something_ feelings. It was hard to catch, but once it had you, it had you and it was yours forever. It never left you and was ever present and always understanding.

Lily knew she was not in love—merely because of the absence of these feelings. That warmth. Lily was cold, she was cold and alone and nothing. Love was something; it made something out of nothing. Lily was still here, and she was still nothing. Lily was not in love.

However, adversely, she _loved something._ She loved James Potter, such was an undeniable fact. To be _in_ love, was completely a different matter. Her natural declaration told her as much, she _loved_ James Potter, but never did she mention being _in_ love with said individual.

But the way he smiled at her, the way he would pick on her so teasingly… so _lovingly_… it made her want to be in love half the time and run as far away the other half of the time. Every time she asked him to leave, he left and never came back. No, she came back to him. It was an endless cycle and Lily knew she had to break the cycle—because it screamed of change and it burned her ears.

James was an easy person to please—his birthday was proof of that. All she gave him was one of her cherished necklaces earlier in the day. Truth be told, if he tossed it away like so much garbage, she would not have been the same again—regardless of how stoic she might have acted about it. The necklace would've been alien to her and she would even wipe the memory of its image from her mind. Her father gave that to her, and she loved her father dearly—it was precious. Lily never questioned the random gift at the time, or his cryptic wording either, but it spoke of a sorrow that was much deeper than even he could put to words.

James took it, and wore it while a smile graced his face—and in turn, graced hers as well.

Lily liked to see James happy—as he often was. That boy was always on cloud nine and nothing could get him down. If it rained and the cloud disappeared, he would grow wings and fly until he was untouchable by everything and unreachable by everyone.

_Unreachable_.

Lily was unreachable. Unreachable until a boy named James Potter came to her with no intent. Came to her with naught but a smile and a few simple words. _You're something to somebody._ It shocked her core like thunder and came to her ears like a sweet melody. And still… even as she grew fonder and fonder of him… he remained the same. Nothing about him changed—she had no effect on him. James was change, and she began to question everything the rain took away from her.

The rain… it was not cruel and kind, it was not _nothing_, it was… unspeakable. It was… it was rain. It took you away from everything, like a loving mother—took away all the rot and filth, took away the weeds that grew around you. When you were ready, it gave it all back like a garden—fresh from its grace.

The rain had given her James Potter. The rain had finally, after thirteen long years and probably more, given her a garden—fresh from its grace.

James Potter had arrived in her life in the rain, and every time he left, he left in the rain.

But this wasn't love. Love was warm. This… this was fondness, attachment so deep that you thought you might not live without it. It was like air. It was needed, but you did not love air for what it provided you.

There were so many opportunities to be hurt through love that she wanted to make sure this was real—that her emotions were something that could be tested and true, rather than tested and broken only seconds later. Lily loved James, but she was not _in_ love with him. To love and be in love… were entirely different things with entirely different endings.

"There's only a week left before Christmas break, whatever comes after isn't my concern. For now, I've got to… I've got to…"

Glancing out her bedroom window, she looked down into the courtyard where some people had decided to meet up after class. The entire day Lily had avoided James like the plague—to avoid hinting to the entire school that she had finally found a king to replace her solitary rule as queen over this school. It was an unacceptable match, a questionable match, and, above all, a simple impossibility.

Lily looked around and saw a nearby pair of girls sitting on the bench. It was Evelyn Richardson and Kirsten Blume. Kirsten was Gryffindor's keeper and Evelyn was Emily Richardson's twin sister. They were a pair who didn't care so much to be popular themselves, but were known to everyone to keep track of everyone else. If they didn't talk to you, they either thought you weren't good enough or were too good. Lily never once spoke to either of these two except when in the presence of Emily.

"I wonder what Evans will wear to Yule? That last dress was so beautiful! I wish I had it, I'm so jealous!"

"Yes, Lily is always so perfect. Good grades, good looks, definitely. And I bet she helped Rose pick out that marvellous blue as well," Kirsten said with a sigh. "It would be nice to get some fashion tips from her as well. Remember how she was wearing that new uniform a while ago? Definitely a trend setter, that girl. I, in fact, saw another girl wear it just two hours later. Can you imagine that?"

Evelyn smiled. "Well, that's the power of popularity. Girls like her can do anything. And she's so nice too. Well, not to a lot of the boys—but I swear that girl is an angel. If she were a boy I would utterly and completely be in love."

Kirsten laughed and shook her head. "Evans has enough admirers, Richardson, she certainly doesn't need another. Speaking of admirers, I wonder who she likes—if anyone. Maybe Black, hmm? What do you think?"

Shrugging, Evelyn sighed. "I wouldn't know. Emily has told me that Lily told her a while ago she was tutoring James Potter. But Lily is so good-natured and helpful I doubt there's anything there. And if you look at the way she always acts around Sirius, it's really obvious she either can't stand him or is madly in love with him. Who knows, maybe one of those Marauders will spirit her away from the rest of us!"

"Don't say that! I'm sure the whole school would cry bitter tears if that were to happen."

Lily sighed and returned to her bed. "Cry bitter tears, hmm? Touching lies," she scoffed.

Glancing over at her desk, she saw a picture of them. Twisting her face into a frown, she quickly got up, covered the distance from her bed to her desk and toppled the picture frame flat. Sitting down at her desk, she sighed, running her hands through her long mane of hair. Her hair was her one true vanity, if anything at all.

Sullenly getting up, Lily left her bedroom and looked out into the common room and her heart stopped at a sight. There was only one other who could enter these chambers—James Potter. Generally, they never encountered each other here and if they did there was very little acknowledgement, even now—when their friendship had plunged Lily so deep into something so very much like love.

Smiling, she went over and sat down next to him, in front of the fire. He was currently reading a coverless book, so Lily had no idea what to make of it—except that it seemed that James liked to read for simple pleasure—something Lily would never do—at least not in public. There was such a smooth and calm look on his face that Lily just wanted to capture that image and just be able to sit there in front of that warm fire looking at that warm image forever.

A smile creased his face soon and he snapped the book shut, turning to look at her, forcing Lily to get her nerves settled down far before her heart had. "There something on my face, Lils? What a rapt gaze you've got. So, what's on your mind, Christmas?"

Blinking slightly, Lily frowned. He was teasing her again. "Christmas? Well, in all my life I've never been called something so abhorring as _Christmas_ based on the colour of my hair and eyes."

That warm smile sliding into a smirk, James just shrugged. "Sounds _magical_ to me, and look at that, you're a witch! Must be something," he said sarcastically with a knowing shake of his head.

Lily sighed. "James… you and your stupidity. I can't help but wonder what I do to deserve all this from you. I mean, am I mean to you to deserve this treatment?"

Quirking an eyebrow, James set the book aside. "You, Lils, are an absolute angel to me. Does it bother you?"

Truthfully, it didn't; in fact, she loved it when he teased her like that. There were so many unsaid implications to it all that it made her mind race and her heart skip beats but at the same time told her senses not to assume too early because assuming made idiots out of everyone.

Grabbing a pillow, she hugged it, and frowned at him slightly. "No, I suppose not." For the most part, Lily liked to complain about things for the sake of complaining—and for the sake that whatever she was complaining about was not right.

What she thought was possible with James… was not right. At least, not in the school's logic and especially not in hers because her logic made up the logic of the school. The fabrications that would run wild if she were to make such things public would throw the entire system into panic. The ladder would effectively topple or at least a new one would be made with her not on it—let alone near the top.

Raising an eyebrow curiously at her, James smiled. "Then why complain about something you don't mind? That's kind of silly, Lily," he said, smiling at his own fully-intended jest.

Sighing exasperatedly, Lily secretly marvelled at how natural such things came to him. It was irritating for the most part—but in the end, she really only adored this boy all the more for it. "Impossible, you are, James Potter."

"Now, now, flattery will get you nowhere with me. My, that sounds like a line right out of your cheeky little mouth."

Said mouth dropping wide open, Lily gave him a disbelieving and scolding look. "Cheeky? I am _not_ cheeky, James. In that, you are sadly mistaken."

James smirked. "Never said _you_ were cheeky, Lils, just your mouth. Anyway, I've got some business to do. I guess I'll see you at Yule. Save the last dance for me this time, won't you? Won't have Sirius steal my date as well as half the schools."

Smiling at him wearily, she waved him off as he got up and left. Listening to the portrait hole slide open and shut, she sighed both inwardly and outwardly. Love was far from it, but it tasted so very much like it—with all its sweet melodies and dizzying auguries that she wanted it to be love so very much that she had found she was in love with the idea of being in love.

Yule was in but three days and she had yet to pick a new dress for the ball. This time, she would impress this boy, this time she would flatter him senseless and this time she would make sure that she was the only one that mattered to him that night and this time she would make sure perfection won out in the end. James Potter would receive a perfect Lily Evans, complete in every way shape and form to all visible eyes.

On the night of the Yule, Lily would lie to impress this boy who could not be impressed because Lily still, all by herself, was nothing.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Dedicated to all of you who have spent the time to comment on my story. I send my warmest thoughts to you.

Comments:

How sweet. :)

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	15. Blacks, Reds and Whites

Chapter Fifteen: Blacks, Reds, and Whites

"And that will be your assignment over the break, class. I expect your reports handed in first thing back—late assignments will not be accepted and your final marks will be handed out as you complete your exam."

Soon after that the class started to pack up their belongings and file out of the class in a wash of instant talking of the upcoming Yule Ball. The recent prefect meeting that Lily had conveniently slept through seemed to have already planned everything out without her assistance—as Professor McGonagall had so eloquently told her through a righteous fit of rage in an earlier class period. It seemed that she didn't take her absence very well without an adequate and usual excuse of being out in the rain.

The week had hardly begun and with only two more days before Yule and the Christmas break, Lily had a lot on her mind to prepare for. Firstly, she would need something to stun that boy senseless and absolutely make him adore her every move, and second she would need to sort out these 'must be love' symptoms before they ruined her.

"Hey, Lily, are you free now?" Lily looked up from packing her books away and turned to smile at a familiar sight. The classroom was predominantly empty and neither Sirius nor Alicia were in their Ancient Runes class—Alicia claiming that the class was useless and Sirius claiming that he would only really be joining to gaze at the splendour that was Lily Evans. Later on, James had told her that Sirius had long decided that unhealthy obsessions should stay unhealthy obsessions a little more outside of class where the most focus could be spent.

"Sure, what do you need? Not help on this silly project, I hope?" she said with a smirk.

James smiled smoothly back at her. "This? This is in the bag. But I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come join me and everyone else for some fun," he said, looking away with his eyes. Those hazel eyes seemed so sincere, but displayed the slightest bit of insincerity by not looking straight at her that Lily pursed her lips—about to adamantly refuse—regardless of it being James Potter. Lily Evans did not accommodate to shy and awkward.

But what if there was something in that? What if James was finally seeing her in a different light? Perhaps he had finally seen the glamour of Lily Evans and decided that he wanted to be just like the rest—hopelessly in love with Lily Evans. It would be wonderful to her—but it would also ruin her and someone else would take her place.

"It'll be okay, we aren't going to cause too much trouble—just enough. Remember that prank last week—how all the teachers turned blue for a day?" he whispered quietly—a slight grin on his face.

Lately, nothing made Lily happier than to see James, himself, happy. It was like he could chase away any dark storm clouds that warned of a storm swiftly approaching. Then again, she had never seen him anything but. It would be nice to know more about him, about his secrets and about everything he was—but she had to put her image first. There were already too many cracks in that mirror to deal with more.

"In public?" she said plainly. It was a simple question and only until after she had voiced it did she see the dire ramifications that the partially unintended implications could create.

It seemed that either James ignored this or he had better judgement and simply smiled at her. "Of course not. Everyone would find out who we are, won't they? Crazy little Lily."

Blushing inwardly at having not even seen that to reprimand her obvious question to the back of her mind, Lily sighed. "It seems like a lot of trouble to finish up the year, don't you think? To pull a prank, I'm assuming, on the entire school. What do you need from me that you don't already have Head Boy permissions for, I wonder?"

Simply shaking his head, James sighed. "Lils, you're much too apprehensive of my motives. Can't a boy simply invite a girl to have some well-deserved fun in her life? You're much too over-clocked these days."

No, not really. In fact, Lily was just the opposite—too much to do with far too much time to do it. Her Head responsibilities were just about non-existent due to her charms with this school and the love the students held for her. For some, if she told them to jump off a bridge, they simply would without question. Thus she was able to delegate most of her responsibilities to the thusly overworked and over-clocked prefects at her disposal. In fact, if there were any group of people that did more for this school it was that group—the prefects—that, indeed, kept this school running for many occasions.

However, love was just like that, it was—in some cases—fruitless and allowed those in love to do without question. There was a common phrase for this that many knew but every day ignored. Just like justice, love was blind. In some ways, such blindness was beneficial; in others it killed you without having you realize it yourself.

"I truly appreciate your undeserved sentiments, but I have papers to write and a Yule ball to prepare for—in more than one way. How you find the time for all this mischief is beyond _my_ mortal sights, James Potter."

Smirking, James shrugged. "Whatever suits you best, Lils. See you around."

With that well-taken refusal—one of many she had given him since Halloween when he first introduced her to 'the gang' as he so eloquently put it—Lily picked up the rest of her bags and continued walking out, heading down the hall towards the Heads Rooms, instead of the other direction towards the Great Hall for lunch.

It was not long before she was interrupted from her sweet reveries about James Potter by a certain shrill sound coming down the hallways. To her, it was like the death-cry of a dying crow stuck in the limelight of an onrushing train.

"Lily Evans! Where are you headed to, love?"

Lily sighed, breaking off her thoughts mid-pace and turned around to face her nosy friend, whom she had taken a severe disliking to since her unfound accusations started up unnecessarily persistent. "To my room to write a letter to my p—family," she had nearly said the one natural word that would've gotten her out of hot water in this situation, but put her into no end of grief. Thus, Lily decided to have her eggs boiled, not scrambled.

"Family? Oh, actually including Petty Evans this time? You never talk to her, must be special. Is she getting married or something? Anything that requires your graceful attention on her, I'm assuming."

Lily sighed. "You assume all too well, Alicia. Now, if you'll excuse me. By the way, if you can save me a spot and a few snippets of food at the table for me. I don't want to have to beg the kitchens. Sneaking around a school you could very well own is not beneficial to an image of any kind."

Alicia shook her head. As absorbed as she was into the social realm of this school—having long intertwined it with her very being—Alicia Rose still had the undeniable knack for acting as if such things were superfluous and did not matter much—when, in fact, they were like a bloodline for her. Lily could not imagine Alicia with a proper system of rank, order and—above all—a scale on how much or how little people liked you or not. In this, Alicia Rose was struck with the disease that this school offered so widely to those who honestly worked and sought it—popularity.

"Oh, Lily, you shouldn't care about such things. This school is so hopelessly in love with Lily Evans that _anything_ you do will become a social norm. You know, my cousin at Beaux says that they have nothing like what our school is like. Utter chaos. There's no one to regulate who should stand or who should fall. She wants to transfer badly, but she lives in the middle of France, yes? There would be such troubles. Plus, it helps not a bit that Beaux often has groupings with Durmstrang for the co-ed part of their education."

Snorting, Lily shook her head. Alicia had attended Beauxbatons for about a week during fifth before she decided Hogwarts was better. Everyone had assumed she was severely sick with the flu and had to stay at home. When she returned there were many warm reunions and frequent scolding at not being told of her illness. Regardless, only Lily knew of her friends excursion at Beaux Batons, for the impossibly elite and impossibly French girls of the magical world.

"Revolting. I assume the girls all throw themselves at the boys as well. That's why you need regulation. All anything schools are simply ridiculous. If someone doesn't learn these rules of tact early on they have nothing to gain in their future concerning a happy marriage."

Taking on a whimsical expression, Alicia smiled. "Perhaps you need to be hurt in order to learn. Anyway, I'll see what I can do about saving you some table scraps. See you in class, love." With a smile and a wave, Alicia turned and started trotting down the other direction.

Snorting, Lily frowned as she continued on to her destination. "Silly girl; she just wants to pester me about that boy again. Fruitless efforts, Rose, your accusations and assumptions will forever go unfounded."

Of course, these assumptions were over a certain Head Boy that Lily, indeed, had taken a certain liking to. In fact, a more than certain liking to. It was simply not enough that he was happy and she was happy. A linking word was needed in her universe to define such happiness to the fullest extent—and even then not even. It was this thought last night that drove Lily to do what she was about to do.

It was silly, it was childish, it was silly and it was childish, but above all silly and ever so childish. Not once had she ever had the thought even dare cross her mind—not in all her years prior to Hogwarts and certainly not during when she built up her rule over this school for the seventh and final year. This year was the finale and everyone would remember her name—if not what she looked like or whether she was even nice—they would remember her name. This school would never forget her name and even whisper it in the halls at night.

Lily would write a love letter.

To, of all the boys, the most unsuitable one for her in her honest opinion. James Potter was, in no way, shape, or form, Lily Evans material. Never in a million years could he ever be worth what she had for him. And yet, despite all this inadequacies on his part, she still loved him fruitlessly. Hopefully, her love would not go unrequited like so many sad fairytales that go unfinished. Lily wanted her fairytale romance to last and be real and be everything she hoped it would be.

And hopefully, life and luck would pity her and that's what it would be. For once, Lily didn't want to have to work for something she wanted so badly. For once, she felt adequate in someone's eyes and felt like she meant so much more to someone.

Perhaps it was a delusion and James Potter really couldn't care less about her, but it was her wonderful and ever so sweet delusion that she wanted to last forever and ever and hope that reality never came to pass otherwise. The alternatives and thoughts behind all of those other realities felt so shattering that Lily didn't want to comprehend what they would do to her.

As she arrived in her room, she sat down at her neat and organized desk. Everything was in order and not a quill, parchment or ink bottle was out of place. Picking up an errant quill from her holder, she took out a bottle of stark black ink and dipped it in the ink.

Without another second to think things through, she began to write a letter. A letter to James Potter. Thoughts and bottled emotions came out—in the most unlikely and incomprehensible ways. They spilled forth from her heart and head down her arm and out her hand onto the parchment.

"Disgusting," she swore softly, looking over her first draft.

There were scribbles on it and things scratched out and mistakes all over. It was impractical and conveyed nothing but the idiot she had been successfully hiding from the world to see all these years. It was certainly not something that Lily had ever imagined herself writing. Certainly, she had more eloquent writing than this—but she had never wrote a formal letter to anyone at all. It was a childish love note and conveyed nothing but foolishness.

Sighing, Lily tossed the parchment off and brought out a new sheet, starting over. After running through her old letter in her mind, she refined all the finer details of it and extracted every sentiment she could, flowing it neatly in black ink onto the parchment. Another mistake and another botched up sentiment here and there and a horribly done post-script and Lily crumpled the paper up and tossed it against the wall.

Such idiocies. It wasn't a wonder she stayed away from all this foolish business of liking someone else. Too much went wrong and it bothered up your thinking.

After many failed attempts, Lily had found she swiftly ran out of parchment with only five minutes to spare before her next class. Sighing, she stood up from her table and walked out. As she did, she heard something rustle under her foot and saw her original letter—as incomplete and imperfect as it was with all the silly sentiments of a silly girl who didn't know quite how to express them.

_Dear James… I mean, James, ah… well, James… oh bother, I'm wasting ink._

_I want to say, well, I hope that you'll understand what I mean here when I say that… I think we make great friends. I think it's really special to have friendships with people because they are… er… friends to you and they support you and all that kind of rubbish. I appreciate your friendship… and because… you make me laugh! Yes, humour is also very good in a friendship—very healthy indeed. There's nothing quite like laughter and… bother I'm making a muck of myself. I think I shall stop this ridiculous letter now. It will be a true miracle if this gets to you and you'll think I'm an idiot and… you'll think… I don't care what you think because I am making a fool of myself and you're probably laughing at me. But I don't care because… because…_

_Sincerely,_

_Lily Evans_

_PS. I'm not crazy._

_PPSs…s… bother._

_I love you._

Incomplete. It was imperfect, but that's what her love was—incomplete, imperfect. Lily was not perfect but it seemed James didn't care. The roses on her desk that she frequently refilled were still fresh and vibrant—she had cast magic on them so they would last longer—not forever, but longer. Eventually, the magic would fade and they would wilt. New ones would then be bought by her to replace them—to at least add some colour that was alive in her room.

"Hopefully… there will be new ones to replace them," she said, fondly thinking of where these patched feelings for this boy might lead her. It was all so… sudden that she felt as if she was on a one-way path that held no slow down signs and certainly not any stop signs.

Taking a fallen rose petal from the white sheet the vase and roses stood on, she touched it to her lips and smiled. The faint but sweet fragrance warmed her heart and the freshness of it all reminded her of spring rain. The petal was soft and tender, flexible and sweet upon her lips. It was precious to her.

This love for James, for this boy she had hardly known only months before, it was precious. And secret. No one knew about this and Alicia could only but guess. Above all else Lily was an actress; this popularity, this school, this glamour and these boys, these all were her stage. The only exception was the rain—because the rain would not care one way or another. This love for James wanted him to be another exception.

Kissing it lightly, she placed it on the piece of parchment and folded it in four. Picking up her wand, she created a copy of it and left it on her desk. Putting the letter in a conventional envelope, she wrote his name in cursive on the front and got up as she sealed the envelope magically. Glancing around her room, she sighed and tucked the letter behind her vanity mirror—hoping that she would not forget it behind the dust-backed mirror of her vanity when the time was right.

"It's crazy… how much in love I've become. It's also crazy… that… I may not even be in love."

For those who talked or thought of love often, hardly knew what it was really like. And when the real thing hit them, it would be so fast and hard that they would be knocked off their feet by the sheer force and surprise of it all.

For Lily, love had come knocking and she had refused it entry up until this point. To her, it was not simply a black and white matter, but in fact, something that was very, very red, and very, very real.

At least, for now.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Thanks for all your support. School has been crazy so I'm afraid my updates have been getting progressively slower. My apologies in advance. I'm afraid this chapter hasn't advanced the story much, but it needed to be done.

Comments:

Ah. Seems she can't make up her mind on this one, eh? Anyway, our story is about half over, as my expected maximum of 30 chapters definitely seems realistic to me now.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens - no, really, it is.


	16. Dance with Delinquencies

Chapter Sixteen: Dance with Delinquencies

The still air was quiet and Lily felt herself shiver. The snow lightly drifted down in tender flakes—slowly blanketing the fields with a white gentleness smoothed over a rough surface. Since classes were over, she had taken to walking outside in the cold with her coat and a cloak. Eventually, she settled into a spot and just watched the snow fall.

The Quidditch Pitch was silent except for the scarce movement beyond the forest. Lily had never gone into the Forbidden Forest, but for months she had always wondered what lay beyond that shadowy border that was so foreboding and compelling. Punishments were doled out in the Forest, but they never went very far past the tree line.

Even now Lily found that she was staring at it with a heightened sense of awe and wonder she had never once encountered before. On the far end of the Quidditch Pitch no one could randomly spot her from any nearby windows—at least not easily and with no little amount of concentration.

Breathing softly, she watched as her breath came out in soft white clouds of smoke—disappearing quickly in the frosty air. Her nose was cold to the tip and the cold had already started seeping in through her cloak and jacket from her inactivity.

Only vaguely aware of how low set the sun was in the sky, Lily was so absorbed in her empty thoughts that she let out a soft gasp when a gentle hand touched her shoulder. Turning quickly, she saw that James had somehow found her. It was often irritating how he could find her no matter what or where she went—but she was grateful that he did all the same.

In fact, when she rode up on her broom in the Quidditch Pitch, riding all over it, she couldn't find any way to see how he could have possibly seen her near the lake the first day they met. It was so mysterious that she had, off to the side, thought of him as a blood hound, obtaining and storing her scent even in that torrent the first day they truly met.

"You'll be late for the ball, Lils. Thought I'd come get you. Wouldn't it be unsightly for you to arrive late? Fashionably late, but late nonetheless."

If her cheeks were not already tinged red from the cold, she swore she blushed. Sighing, she shook her head, rubbing her shoulders in a few quick strokes to bring back feeling to them—although fruitlessly. "You always know where to find me, James, I wonder how. Tell me one day, won't you?"

James just gave her quirky smile—as if lightly teasing over his mind whether he should just relay this secret or not. "Maybe. But today's not the day," he quipped quickly before turning back to the castle, waiting for her to step up beside him so they would walk back together.

Casting a shrewd look at him, she sighed. "I'll hold you to that, Potter. Lily Evans never forgets a promise."

"Doesn't forget a promise but forgets to arrive on time for the last Yule Ball of her last year at Hogwarts… Absolutely fascinating girl, you are, Lils. I wouldn't have you any other way, I think."

Lily sighed exasperatedly as they had just come half-way across the Quidditch Pitch—two sets of footprints in the snow. "For that I'm glad, James Potter, for Lily Evans doesn't come any other way." James smiled at this and Lily could feel that warmth and tender smile seep in through her eyes, warming her over from top to toe.

This snow, this feeling, this cold and this James was all Lily felt that she wanted for Christmas—for this moment to last forever and ever—that she would eternally live out this memory for the rest of her life. With James by her side, as they walked through the snow a calm silence fell around them and—despite the cold which she so often despised from time to time—found she was smiling slightly.

Eventually they reached the castle doors. James allowed her through first with a gracious bow and Lily smirked candidly at him, stepping inside to the warmth and dim glow of the school. Naught but the hallway torches were lit at this time of day and only very dimly, so the traveller wouldn't lose his way in the dark hallways. Restricted hallways were not lit and never were—as caution and warning to those who dared to enter them—although not a very strong one, as the Marauders had announced so graciously to the school in their third year.

In the dim torchlight she could see James give her a gracious bow after closing the doors behind them and walking off silently to parts unknown. As dim as it was, both the Gryffindor Tower and their shared accommodations were in the opposite direction he was heading, and Lily was at least cognizant and aware of that.

Of course, this meant that he was up to no good—but she cared little to know more about that certain aspect of him tonight.

Turning off to head towards her room, she soon entered the Heads Rooms and climbed up the winding staircase to her bedroom. This time, for today, she would prepare herself on her own—so she could make an elegant appearance just for James. It would be a magical moment where she would descend the stairs and he would bask and be amazed at how beautiful and wonderful she was coming down the stairs.

However, caught in this reverie, Lily had realized the fatal flaw in this plan.

The perfect image needed to be accentuated and centred on the perfect dress—one which she didn't have. Taking out the plain white dress she wore for Halloween, that had magically sprouted into something beautiful and wonderful; she sighed and held it up to her frame.

Sheerly for memory, Lily donned the dress and closed her eyes, feeling the faint but warm rush of warmth as the dress changed and took form once again to its bearer's name. Sighing dully, she opened her eyes and gave a slight shriek of surprise.

Instead of the soft red silken fabric of her previous dress from Halloween, she now wore a gown of white silk and lace—with matching gloves to accommodate her. The dress was strapless and a half-shawl hung down from the top with a white ribbon where the shawl split open on her chest. It was simple, it was elegant, and it was so very, very winter.

"Perhaps this dress has more secrets than I thought. Well, now I know what I shall wear—at least." Sitting down in front of her vanity mirror, she started to comb her hair out and dress it up to match her somewhat new dress. After a quick sweep of makeup, Lily got up and glanced at the time. The Yule Ball was set to begin within the next fifteen minutes and she had already heard James hum some raucous tune she had recognized to be muggle.

With another quick twirl in front of the mirror, Lily smiled, satisfied that she could find no hint of even the slightest imperfection upon her visage. With this thought in mind, she opened her door and she could see that James had snapped his attention up at her, his hands in his pockets, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

Taking a moment to orient himself a bit, he smiled. At least Lily had accomplished one thing tonight—impress that which could not be impressed. That slight falter to his genial smile was all it took to tell her that the effects and pain of her efforts were not wasted as they were with Halloween.

Lily started to descend the stairs, smiling candidly at him with all the good intent of the world to enjoy the night with this boy she had fallen so much in love with without her own consent. The night would be perfect and stay perfect—forever in her memory. This moment, with James suited to look more dashing than ever and herself dressed in layers of snow white elegance, would be framed in her memory and would be left to shine above the sorrow.

"Charming as always, Miss Lils; do me the honour of accompanying a poor soul to a poor ball that really has no existence until the star of the show is there," he said hurriedly, a quirky smirk on his face. It was said with all the manner of sarcasm and humour that was so James Potter that Lily found herself smiling at it, despite the general tones she normally would've slapped someone at.

Playing oblivious and slightly coy, Lily stopped her descent at the last stair, and folded her arms, looking away from him. "I don't know. Princesses all need their Princes to escort them to the ball. Poor me, I don't see a Prince in sight!" she said dramatically.

It was so childish the way she said it that she had instantly reflected on it and was simply amazed that she was capable of such a thing. It was horrifying because she abhorred acting that way around anyone so much because it spoke nothing of common sense and in the end was so childish that she couldn't stand it.

Yet here she was, acting like a child in front of no one else but him.

"I may not be dressed exactly in shining armour, but I most certainly can substitute to be a prince on an imaginary white horse come to whisk this spoiled brat to a ball."

Groaning loudly, Lily sighed and shook her head. "Oh, James, you take the fun out of things. Well, then let's go," she said, taking his arm as he offered it.

"By the way, you honestly _don't_ look like royalty—because even royalty can't look like heaven," he said smoothly, not staring at her at all—having said the second part with haste—having realizing her assumed reaction.

Lily had opened her mouth to retort at the royalty comment, however she found that she was so charmed by the follow up that she let her mouth hang open for a whole second before remembering to close it and smirk at him questioningly. "Where'd you get that monstrous line from? Black? It sounds like something right out of his dirty mouth."

James laughed. "Trust me, my sister and I taught that boy everything he knows. If anything comes out of _his_ mouth it's pure courtesy of Miss Relina and Mister James Potter."

"Well then, I'll send all the blame of six years to you and your sister with my best and most ill regards!" she retorted with a smile.

Laughing again—this time with slight mirth that lighted up his face. When he opened his eyes to look at her, his warm hazel eyes surrounded her and captured her every sentiment and thought and feeling. This boy, she thought, would most definitely be adequate enough tonight. It did not matter that this boy was quite literally unknown to the social ladder; tonight, she would attempt to cement a long-lasting friendship with this boy and certain ladders.

Then again, this boy held an axe in his hand and might just destroy that ladder that Lily had so lovingly tended to and gut-wrenchingly climbed her way to the top of. Such atrocities were not well-taken in her book as the toppling of certain well-structured and much needed ladders.

"Well, at any rate, let me give you some compensation with a small token of apology." James had seemed to magic a bouquet of roses out of thin air for that's where they appeared from when he passed his hands behind his back and back within the reaches of vision once more. He flung it up into her face, falling just short of hitting her nose.

Lily was so taken aback by the gesture that she had wobbled a bit before regaining her balance. It was such a shocking move—in both ways—that Lily wasn't quite sure how she should take such a gesture. Roses like that—magical or not—were not cheap things to attain during the winter.

"James Potter! Where on earth did you acquire money for those roses? They're bloody expensive during the winter."

James coughed suspiciously and rose to his feet after Lily had accepted the roses with slightly numbed hands. After he had gracefully dusted himself off, he smirked. "Don't tell but my family is not on poorer ends of society. Plus, they're winter roses, enchanted to bloom once on the coldest of seasons. They shall not shrivel until at least spring."

Sighing, Lily smiled. Breathing deeply of the smell of roses and his musky intoxicating cologne, she shook her head. "Well, thank you. I'll go put these up on my desk then—James! What on earth—"

"Today is the Yule Ball, Lils; we are already more than fashionably and acceptably late as it is. Now, let me work some magic and relieve you of a servant's chore for the evening—as you, my dear, are no less than royalty with wings tonight." With that, he pulled out his wand, pointed at the roses and levitated them through the still-open bedroom door—assumingly placing them neatly on the desk and closing the door.

Having lived in the muggle world for a decent chunk of her life, Lily always found herself simply astounded with the ways that magic could be used and how absolutely wonderful it was. It seemed even more charming than it had nearly seven years ago when she had first gotten her letter of acceptance. Most likely, Lily thought, because _this_ certain magic was cast by a wonderful wizard of equally wonderful charm and grace.

Offering up an arm, James gave her a million-dollar smile—one that she would have gladly paid more for—and started to lead her out of the common room once his offer was accepted.

Lily smiled at his candour and good sense of chivalry and sighed lightly. "What a shining knight you are tonight, James. I am severely impressed."

Surely, hearing this directed so very much at any one person was high praise all on its own when it was from Lily Evans. To impress this social queen was no easy feat to undertake—and accomplish with flying colours. However, James Potter, someone who could care less for the ladder and everything it offered, had somehow usurped the standards and managed to impress Lily Evans with no less than a word out of Sirius' book with a more endearing spin.

Smirking, he took it all in stride and sighed, shaking his head. "It seems that the rumours are _false_ in that Lily Evans is the unimpressable. Look at that, Lils; you've invented yourself a new word to define yourself all this time. My life's dream you know. Now you've impressed _me._"

Shaking her head exasperatedly, she sighed. "James…" she droned slightly.

As they arrived through the open doors of the Great Hall, there was already mingling at the tables and a rather peevish looking McGonagall up at the front of the hall, onstage, dressed all in reds, greens and whites. The very sight of it alone seemed to have emanated so strongly that both James and Lily stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of it.

To say the least, Lily had a rather strong urge to turn tail, run and redefine what it meant to be a chicken—as she was quite sure that red was not the Professor's natural complexion. Of course, Lily had her fair share of making McGonagall so cross that her eyes would stick for weeks on end—but not to this extent. Naturally, the first thing that hit her was the most natural of natural emotions—stock still fear. The kind that made you want to upchuck several ways and root you to the spot.

With a gentle push from James, telling her that standing there like a deer caught in the headlights was not helping the situation the least bit, she moved her rooted feet with some difficulty and regained her composure after breaking eye contact with the beast onstage. Taking a seat next to Alicia Rose—who, naturally, had gone with Sean Patil—she sighed and slightly collapsed in her chair once on familiar ground.

Alicia shot her a skeptical look that said 'I'm skeptical, unimpressed but still giving you points so you will tell me whatever the blazes happened to make you so late.' Lily had always suspected that Alicia never truly required words like the rest of the world as she had mastered the art of talking with her face to relay that which the mouth would never utter.

Leaning over, she whispered near her ear. "What kept _you_, love? Poor Sirius here has been shaking in his wittle boots worrying for our elusive Lily Evans. Afraid you had run off with Potter or something."

Huffing, Lily frowned. "Pray that never happens, Rose. I'm afraid Black here might die of shock—or heartache. Not to mention a few other things," she added quickly.

Alicia smirked and returned jovially back to the conversation at hand that she had so masterfully slipped out of earlier at Lily's arrival. The ever perceptive Lily Evans easily knew what she was tugging suggestively at and Lily mentally frowned—not willing to let her perfect smile slip. It would take more than that to get the best of the best.

As if it were preordained or destined to be, some nameless prefect had come up to Lily and she vaguely remembered this person from the Halloween Ball. "Lily, James, McGonagall is off her rocker, you better get up there before she matches complexions with that pretty little head of yours and throws a tantrum."

Sighing, Lily stood up from where she was and walked round the table to approach the stage where a still-peevish looking McGonagall stood well out of the way where the two Heads were to stand making their pre-determined Yule speech. As she passed by McGonagall, taking the papers that were thrust out to her, she really wondered if this woman was as cold-hearted as her white hat in that hats do not carry hearts—or much else for that matter.

James gave their professor a patronizing smile that spoke something very vaguely of 'I'm sorry' and continued on next to Lily, standing next to her, gazing around the room as the spotlight was turned on them.

Once all eyes were set on Lily, instinct set in and all fear of consequences that an irritable McGonagall might dish out were forgotten in their entirety—regardless of how large a warning sign they carried in the forefront of her brain.

"Evening to all the ladies and gents of Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! I dearly hope you are enjoying your time here at Yule! So sorry for being late everyone, I was fixing my hair in a bathroom mirror that had been bewitched. Black, I know that was you!" she said loudly, giving him a vicious look. It was half true and a whole lie in that the mirror she spoke of existed and she knew that it was his fault and that that was, indeed, thankfully, not the reason she was late. "Poor James here had to wait for me—and the rest of you had to as well, I suppose. Anyway, the music is thanks to our beloved—Emmeline Carter once again," she said with a pause, after checking the sheets that McGonagall had provided her with, "With the aid of our dear Minnie McGonagall! She's managed to book Britain's hottest—Silver Bells! Specializing in Christmas music for every season!"

That last sentence alone made very little sense in her head, and very little sense to others as well, but she hardly had the courage to defy McGonagall any further on the matter.

Stepping back from the podium, she let James step up. "And for you werewolves in the audience, I can assure you that they're not here to get you!" The crowd laughed at the joke and out of the corner of her eye, Lily thought she saw someone give a righteous glare up at the stage. "A lot of hard work went into this ball, and I'm sure you've all worked very hard for this delightful end of year celebration of ours. A toast to a good year and good people—and above all good Professors, right Minnie?"

The spotlight anchored over to her and she gave a taut, strained smile. At least she understood the value of reputation—even though hers was not quite what she thought it was to the student populace who often found themselves sucking up to her to avoid her wrath.

"Thanks to you and everyone else who helped with this! And now the time you've _all_ been waiting for! Dinner and dancing!" Lily concluded, dashing off the stage with James at her heels as they made their way to the dance floor quickly while a very Christmas tune played in the background. Various other couples joined in afterwards. Sirius and Evelyn Richardson—Emily's twin sister—joined in next and after that was Alicia and Sean. Soon enough, the entire floor was flooded with dancing couples and the lights were significantly dimmed.

As they made their rounds Lily suddenly felt a quick jolt to her system and realized that James had hastily tugged her out of the way from a collision into a familiar face. Frowning royally at him, she kept any snide remarks to herself as she was better than that and this boy didn't matter anything at all.

"You prat, Potter, throwing in that silver-lined comment," a very peeved-but-still-amused Remus Lupin threw at him.

James tipped Lily and grinned wickedly at Remus in return. "Thanks—I'm genius, I know."

After the quick exchange, he pulled Lily back up and she huffed. It was impossible to fathom how Remus Lupin had managed to snag a girl like Kirsten Blume, but it was not absolutely impossible. Kirsten Blume had been blathering to her secretly for the last couple months about some boy named Remus Lupin and only now did it completely click in her mind. Remus was not entirely bad looking; he was just a bad person.

After the upbeat song changed to a fairly slow one, she found herself a little closer to James Potter, in that slow songs did not necessarily allow for distance between your dance partner. Thankfully, it was not awkward and Lily fully realized how very much taller he was than her by whispering in her ear.

"The boys and I have got a special treat for you, Lils, will you come? I swear they'll be on their best behaviour. Sirius will be as charming as you think he is and Remus will be more so. Just had the jitters last time, I swear it."

Thankfully, a response was not necessarily needed right away as she was not a high enough level to properly give him her answer. However, she knew, by the end of it, that the answer would undeniably be along the lines of an unspoken yes and an outspoken 'James Potter, are you insane?'

Such was the case in the next three seconds.

"James Potter, are you insane?"

Smirking, he laughed quietly. "Sorry, Lils, didn't quite catch that. So, what will it be?"

"Sure…" she said quietly, a whisper that _she_ almost didn't hear.

"Splendid, I'll inform the boys."

Quickly looking up at him, she saw his hazel eyes simply glow with the reflection of the numerous candles around in the room as they danced. There was a mischievous spark to them and she vaguely soon realized that he knew the answer she would provide long before the question was ever formed in his mind.

James Potter was just like that—ever considerate and never taking no as an answer when doing something especially nice for someone. Maybe those girls he had treated to dates before had the right impression that James Potter was perfection in every way describable.

The only problem would be another hour's worth of needling from Alicia about James and about thrice that from all the other girl's about Sirius—as they were all sure that was who she was with last Halloween—something she had promptly refuted and followed up by slapping Sirius not two seconds before the thought entered his brain to say something clever, charming and witty.

However, bridges should be burned after you cross them to throw off pursuers.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Irish Sphinx: Hmm. Probably not, but I didn't want to spend the time doing the skullduggery to find out what it really was. Possibly because I couldn't remember if her maiden name was ever mentioned. I've only heard her mentioned as Longbottom and married to Frank.

Thank you for the reviews. I greatly appreciate the time you take to read RAIN, I hope it's been, at least, enjoyable to you all.

Comments:

I feel like I'm rushing myself almost. Does it feel like that to you?

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	17. Night School

Chapter Seventeen: Night School

"James Potter, you prat!"

James darted down another dusty corridor and Lily had no choice but to run faster. It seemed that her dress was a little more enchanted than normal—apparently having a mind of its own and accustoming itself to the event at hand.

Cackling like a mad banshee on something muggle, he turned around and ran backwards, sticking his tongue out at her as she continued to chase him. For the first ten minutes of chasing him she wondered how impossibly fit he was until Sirius had called James captain and she demanded elaborations.

Turned out that her social pariah was just at the very end of the food chain just near the unnoticeable others and preferred to stay there. As she watched Remus, Peter and James madly chase each other around, Lily had found herself glaring at the three of them, next to Sirius Black with a cross look and her arms to match.

"Oi, Captain Pothead, round the stragglers up will you? We need to get the lovely Lily Evans on the move!"

Lily braced herself for the oncoming question that her curiosity just about burned her brain off for. "Captain?" she spat, saying the word as if it would bring about all manner of chaos and grievances upon her being.

Grinning like a wolf, Sirius turned his wolfish eyes upon her and she only managed to frown deeper and look even more cross. "Yes. Our dear James Pothead Potter here is captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team—the team that you have profoundly ignored for the past several years in pursuit of slightly lighter things in nature. That beloved Rose of yours plays for the team too, you know. Absolutely shocked that flowers don't conspire as well as support one another."

Taking the mild comment as an insult of much larger than possible proportions, Lily struck him across the face on reflex before fully realizing the ramifications of her almost unjust action. Sirius Black was prattish as far as prats went, but this was not the root of such a strike to the face—and most likely, ego.

Despite her inner disgust of the presence that was this jellified amoeba standing next to her, she gave a slight gasp and covered her hands with her mouth. Sure, she had struck Sirius across the face before, but never for so simple a reason. Most of those times involved his attempts to kiss her anyway.

"Black, I'm sorry, that was just… I don't know really, but I'm sorry for that."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. The other three were too wound up in their own trivial matters to pay attention to even the loud crack in the room. Smirking, he raised an eyebrow at her. "Not once have you ever said 'Sorry' to me and meant it. I've always gotten 'I'm sorry that you're such a pathetic miscreant, Black,'" he said, mimicking her tone and making his voice pitched high and shrilly.

Snorting, Lily felt her sympathy and regret melt away and start to bubble and boil in anger. "You _are_ a pathetic miscreant, Black, and the day I say otherwise shall be a sad day for everyone indeed."

Sirius smirked. "Now _that_ sounds a little more like the Lily Evans I know. Sure you're not slipping up there, your majesty?"

At that point, Lily had made the firm resolution to throw every smart-aleck insult she could come up with at him, while her attention was soon after averted sufficiently with a clarion call declaration of a game of some shrewd hack-sawed version of tag and hide and seek. Lily was actually quite grateful for the interruption as she presumed her throat would go raw and bleeding before getting much more of a reaction out of that grinning lunatic.

Such was the outcome that Lily found herself chasing James around the school soon thereafter in an attempt to tag him. It seemed that Peter was faster than his stocky legs alluded to as he promptly tagged her and sped off for parts unknown through some musty passageway.

"James Potter! You prat!" she found herself yelling at him.

James was the only one to have _not_ used a passageway to get away from her in this foolish game. Well, Sirius didn't either but she was not about to stain her hands with the foul venoms that surely rotted him from the inside.

"You'll have to run faster than that, Evans!" he taunted. As he continued to run, he started to run straight on for a wall and Lily stopped her chase to warn him of the imminent dangers ahead.

"James, watch o—oh my," she ended, as she witnessed the boy run straight through the wall and disappear. When she ran up to the wall, after a quick inspection, she decided that there was nothing special about it and James should've been a flat pancake right about now. Except that he wasn't.

Sighing, she looked around her and found that everyone had mysteriously disappeared on her and she was not about to get lost in those dirty old passageways on her own. Far too much trouble would be gleaned from _that_ outcome. Not to mention that those areas—from her last visit with James on Halloween—were not considerably well-heated.

Rubbing her arms in short, feverish strokes, she decided that this would end her night and she would return for a fitful night's rest—hopefully avoiding Alicia Rose and all the others the next day. Last time she spent time like this away from anything normal, she was accused of spending that time with one of two boys from at least one of several other girls.

"What's the rush, love? The night is still very young." That smooth and charming voice could only have one owner, and that owner was someone she found so vile that she had pointedly ignored his existence the entire time she was here—aside from certain questions pertaining to the use of the word 'captain.' To acknowledge him now would only be tantamount to her own death of irritation come morning.

Stopping to glare royally at him, she turned away and continued on. "So will you go out with me, Lily? I'll take your silence as speechless 'Yes, Sirius Black, the love of my life and only man for me, I will go on a date—"

"Black!" she thundered, storming her way over to him. She found herself right in front of him, glaring up at him in all his six foot glory. A smirk was plastered all over his face and it was apparent that he was enjoying every second of annoying her with no crowds around where no face could possibly be lost. "You vile, filthy, wretched—"

"I know, love, you're madly in love with me and want to run away to an ocean paradise, but we must finish school first, you know."

Her mouth dropped open in the sheer disgust at the thought of it all as she took an involuntary step back. "Ugh! You are the most disgusting piece of flesh I have ever laid eyes on, Black. If this is your way of _charming_ me you can _charm_ your way into hell!"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What's that? I'm devilishly good looking and too hot to handle? Why, thank you, my love, you've made my day."

Seething in white hot fury, she glared at him and felt her face grow hot enough to create a colour that rivalled her hair colour. It was apparent to her a long time ago that Sirius Black was as persistent as they come and would not let up until he got what he wanted. It became even more apparent to her the persistency of this boy when he had _publicly_ sworn off girls until he managed to capture the elusive Lily Evans.

Such public displays of open affection—especially when that affection was far from being returned—were abhorring to Lily and she swore never to include herself with Sirius Black ever. Thinking back to the beginning of the year, Lily realized she should have washed her mouth out with soap thrice over after having uttered that she would accept Black once school was finished.

"Black, you—"

"Hey, Lily," came a quick voice from behind her. Turning around she saw Remus, grinning at her with a cheeky look on his face. "Watch out," he said as he quickly but firmly pushed her just enough to fall into the waiting arms of the disease behind her.

The next thing Lily knew was black. Horribly enough, the other thing she found was Sirius Black—of all people.

The room was dark and musty and—just like that room from so long ago—it was suffocating with layers of dust surrounding them. It was also unnaturally colder than the area just behind the wall.

With a painstaking effort, she untangled herself from the mess on the floor and attempted to dust herself off while searching for her wand to shed some light on at least one black thing in this room. Unfortunately, as she was reaching for where her wand should be, she remembered that she had left it up in her room in the Head's Dormitories in light of the ball.

Yelling at the wall in vain, she pounded on it to find a bright light behind her, emitting her shadow on the wall. Realizing her efforts were fruitless, she turned around and glared at the one who must've organized this sick and twisted turn of events.

Sirius Black was dusting himself off, glancing around the room. "Wrong wall."

Lily's blood ran cold. Those two words just as much admitted that he didn't know where they were as much as she did. From the past hour of fooling around with these boys, these _Marauders_ as they were known, she learned that if they didn't know something about this school—and you were with them—you should be very much afraid.

For confirmation reasons alone, Lily felt the need to ask. "Which means?"

Smirking, he quirked an eyebrow. "I'm afraid we're lost, love."

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

I am at an odds as to what ending I will give RAIN. It is narrowed down to three choices (there were many more I had written and thrown out). Ah well, we shall burn those bridges once we get there. And here, I formally apologize for taking so long with RAIN. In my opinion I should be writing the last four chapters right now and here we are stuck somewhere in the middle. As always, your support for me is well appreciated and I take time to read each and every review you send me--often more than once. By the way, Merry Christmas, I promise to upload the next few chapters fairly quick as a Christmas present to you all.

Comments:

Oh, oh, this is so undeniably short and I apologize, I apologize. However... I didn't really want to make it any longer than the last line. You could say this is a filler chapter of sorts I suppose, but I don't want it to overlap with the next and I didn't want to make the previous any longer. Tsk, tsk, shame on me.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.


	18. Night Terrors

Chapter Eighteen: Night Terrors

Shifting slightly, Lily breathed in the dank, musty smell of dust and expensive cologne. It was a horrible acrid combination of a smell, but somehow intoxicating and she dimly wondered what had happened. The most she remembered was that she was at Yule, dancing the night away with James. There was dinner, a few more dances, entertainment of sorts and then it was over.

However, the night was not over.

After Yule, she had unwittingly been taken along for a nightly run of the school with James. After being entertained by his antics with two other friends—since one, which would complete the set, had unfortunately been the prey of a stomach ache—for about half an hour, all the while sitting next to some loathsome person she rather not mention, they had played a game of tag or some such thing.

After everyone left her alone for a few precious and dire seconds, she ran into Sirius… and…

Waking up with a start, she snapped her head right and left to find that she was being carried by someone. Inhaling for the piercing noise that would at least ensure one thing, she felt a mouth cover hers in a quick kiss. This action being more shocking than waking up in the arms of someone she couldn't see for lack of light, she was stunned motionless. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she saw the vaguely familiar shape of Sirius Black's face.

Pushing his head—and mouth—away from her, she squirmed a bit in his grasp. "Shh! Be quiet will, you? I haven't the bloodiest idea where we are or which teacher's room we may be near," he said in an urgent manner. "By the way, love," he said in smoother tones, "you are definitely a sweet—"

"Black!" she whispered, anger bubbling inside her so quickly that her disgust of this person was overcome and she was nearly blinded by it. "Put me down right now, you idiot!"

Smirking, he put her down and pulled his wand out, muttering _lumos_. The blinding light illuminated the small hallway they were in and Lily was fully able to see the spider web that hang near her face. Arachnids and other various eight-legged creatures were not a major fear of hers—in fact few things were, however it was creepy up close nonetheless. Taking a step back she shook off her sudden fear and sighed shakily.

Where was she? How did this happen? _What_ happened?

"What happened, Black? No doubt _you're_ behind all this," she said, turning back around to face his smirking mug.

Snorting, Sirius folded his arms. "Well, my love, you're absolutely right, I _am_ behind all this. Asked Remus to give me a hand in giving us some 'alone time' together. You know, so you can profess your undying love for me—"

"Black!"

"Anyway, I picked the wrong wall; we slid through and ended up here. When we got ourselves together, you realized all this time that you honestly and truly are madly in love—"

"Black!" she said a little louder, aggrieved at being accosted by such unfortunate circumstances.

"You fainted in shock of it all and so I carried you until you woke up, which is here," he continued almost seamlessly, having not taken notice to her harsh reprimand. "I have been wandering around in the dark with you for some odd time now looking for a way back. Although, I must admit, even _I_ couldn't have planned something like this. Lily love, you are lost in the school, at night, with me, Sirius Black, the man of your dreams and also the only nearby Marauder. You have two options, stay with me, or bungle your own way back and hopefully not run into the giant snake."

Going stock still and sheet white, Lily's eyes widened. Perhaps these boys were braver and should be given more credit than she thought. Perhaps now was not quite the time to be picky about knights in shining armour. "Giant snake? There's a _giant snake_ at this school?" she hissed vehemently—shock mixing with terror to form some twisted version of anger.

Sirius shrugged. "Actually, I really don't know. Just thought I might scare you for a bit, love. Heavens bless you you're wonderful when you look at me like that."

Groaning, Lily sighed. "Oh yes, _fear_ is definitely the way to say 'I love you.' Honestly, isn't there _anyone_ else you'd care for? I'm sure _they_ would have you much more than I would."

Sirius smiled as he continued to walk, leaving Lily either to sit in the dark alone or follow him—as her wand was out of action and much too useless to her at it's current position. Fancying a time alone and away from Sirius Black, she didn't fancy the dark where awful things may happen in an abandoned little corridor. So Lily had little choice but to follow him.

"You know, muggles have a saying, 'Want what you can't have.' Just because we have magic and they don't doesn't mean we're all too different in the way we act. It's hard to understand why people like Voldemort can't see that," he said in a much quieter tone.

Lily realized that the merry little boat they were planted on had suddenly started to tread shallow water and she would either be left bailing the water out or drowning. Smart, funny, charming, loud, obnoxious, every syllable of idiotic and prattish were all things generally associated with Sirius Black. Quiet and his namesake were not such associations with this individual.

Unsure of what to say, Lily decided that she quite admired this side of Sirius Black—he played this stupid little popularity game that Hogwarts was so very much in love with but was still aware of the more important matters in the world. It was something she would secretly admire him for because she had not done the same. In fact, the matters and affairs of the outside world were of very little consequence to her person.

"I'm sure the talk of that prat and this stupid war going on is very boring to you, so I'll talk about something else. Like how amazingly pretty you are. You are majestic, like a red fire-breathing—breathing… often I never get to finish that," he pointed out aloud with some confusion.

Lily sighed. "I didn't know that you could be so… well… so… and don't you _dare_," she said in a much harsher tone, "serious."

Sirius just smiled. "Well, I must've been named that for _some_ reason or another, don't you think, love? By the way, since we're in such a melancholy heart to heart place in both conversation and the school, why _won't_ you accept me?"

"Well… you are pig-headed."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I've been nothing but charming to you, Lily Evans, since day one. Name one person I've been significantly snide or mean to."

"Severus Snape," she said easily. It had been a long established habit that he would seek out Snape just to ridicule and torment him. Sometimes he had James help if he was there and sometimes he didn't. However, Snape was not particularly nice to anyone and friends with very few—even within his own filthy house.

Sirius scoffed. "He hardly counts for anything at all, Lily; after all he's done to the populations who he thinks are lesser than him. To them, I am a blessing upon blessings psychologically murdering him like that. Honestly though, I wouldn't do something that actually would _hurt_ the poor puddle of oil. Remember how awful he was to you back in third year, Lily?"

Lily snorted. She remembered that very well. That year, Fiona Wethersett was in fourth year and already starting to solidify her iron-fisted rule over this school with her brother in the year above her already paving the way for the Wethersett name. Lily had been at odds trying to capture the attention of those in her year as well as those below and above with Fiona in the picture. It did not help that Severus Snape had formed some twisted crush on her that made him a nuisance far worse than Sirius Black could ever hope to achieve to be.

The end result was that Sirius came to her unasked for rescue and she was able to avert her attention off the creepy Slytherin boy and onto far grander schemes.

In the end, she somewhat had Sirius to thank for this reign in seventh year for her—after all, their spats with each other had become local entertainment for the masses. Well, they weren't so much spats as they were Sirius trying for a date and Lily shooting him down as if he were some dying specimen of bird.

"Don't remind me of that. But even so, a foul little creature like Snape doesn't deserve such bully behaviour. You are _much_ better than that rubbish, Black."

"Enough to date me? After all, love, we would—"

"Ugh. Not in your wildest dreams, Black."

"Well then, since you know I want you—"

"And you can't have me—"

"Which makes me want you all the more—"

"I'll be stuck with you."

Sirius grinned and only then did Lily see the error of her ways. Even if they weren't _together_ they would still be together and therefore releasing the floodgates of rumours saying that they really _were_ together. Then again, the sheer and vicious ferocity of which she hurled insult after witty insult at him was enough to prove to anyone that she, Lily Evans, wanted nothing to do with Sirius Black.

Then again… rumours were not renowned for their veracity and thus should always be ignored.

With an overly large grin plastered to his face, Sirius wagged his eyebrows. "Got that right, love."

The only logical way out of this that her mind could come up with was to speed up the inevitable and, for once, accept his offer. It was true; they _would_ bring an iron-fisted rule to this school together. As a girl, Lily was very much admired by the female populace and very popular with the male population of the school as well. However, Sirius held the admiration of all the boys—in that they wanted to be more like him. This was something that she could never accomplish no matter how much time she would be given.

However, logic had seemed to escape her memory and mind ever since meeting James.

At this moment, she _should_ groan at him then smirk suggestively.

At this moment, she _should_ move towards the path of giving this boy what he so badly wanted.

At this moment, she _should_ make plans and preparations to end up as his queen by the end of the night.

_However_, at this moment, a quick streak synonymous to lightning struck that boy's face so hard the sound echoed for a good five seconds. Truth be told, that probably hurt them both equal amounts—only in different areas.

Rubbing his face slightly, Sirius grinned. His persistence was probably his only admirable quality and foreshadowed his success in this world. Sirius Black was one of those that you could never picture in the depths of failure and proved you right every time as well. Lily had made efforts to be like that and eventually ended up with what she had now.

Something less than real but fully admirable.

"You know, I really still can't say I would want to ever hate you after every slap and insult you've given me, Evans. Truly, you're one-of-a-kind type of girl and I'll never lose sight of that as long as I live. So, therefore, to save—at least—me some pains, what say you stop smacking me so brutally all the time?"

Lily thought about that for a second, seriously thinking about that because such a suggestion was unfathomable to ascertain at first. It was clear now that this boy could obviously endure a great deal of both physical and mental pain. It was also clear that despite all that, he was far too persistent to be discouraged in any way.

Then again, in some small corner of the universe where life exists on a tiny insignificant blue planet, one Lily Evans found therapy in venting out her violent emotions on one Sirius Black.

After her serious one second discussion with herself, she pretended to think about it and folded her arms. "No," she said flatly. "Sirius Black, you are scum, and you should be thankful that I am even bothering to contaminate myself by so much as touching you let alone smacking you around," she said spitefully at him.

Sirius just smiled at her smoothly. "No matter how many times you say it, love, it'll still be the sweetest thing to my ears—anything you say, that is."

Glaring harshly at him, Lily continued on down the narrow, dirty, unused hallway. It was getting awfully stuffy in so cold, dark and damp a place far too quickly for her personal liking. When one is in the vicinity of someone particularly distasteful such an atmosphere most certainly did not build up to positive conclusions for either party.

Despite that, true to his word, the only source of light she had still followed her. Well, for the moment, he would, considering the hallway was fairly linear and wrong turns were absolutely impossible. A stone-cold silence followed shortly after—one that, for both parties involved, shouldn't be broken.

It was an odd feeling, to have something that spoke so much of a confession of love to just hang in the air, announced freely and willingly with nothing short of truth to hold it up. Lily had always been admired, such an overwhelming feeling such as being admired by the student populace was a task that was easily adaptable—to know that you were loved for all that you were… was something much more overwhelming.

Despite that, she could not, no matter how 'socially acceptable' it would be in this situation, she simply could not return this boy's endless feeling for her. Her fondness for another boy was far too great to allow any 'socially acceptable' standard to get in her way. It was simply a mystery to her why she couldn't have given up on the hopeless dead end that James Potter most likely had to offer and simply be swept away by the charms and wiles of Sirius Black.

Then it struck her—and in a very physical way something else also struck her as Sirius had bumped into her as she had suddenly stopped walking.

"As much as I love our frequent get-togethers from time to time, I believe it is necessary to announce your desire at such things rather than just _stopping,_" Sirius said, slightly annoyed but still completely a gentleman.

Lily now realized why she could never fully reciprocate the feelings that Sirius had so determinedly put forth—why she had suddenly become so detested at the thought of it that her initial plans and steps towards the path of eventual matrimony with Sirius Black were undermined by her own person. It had been confusing her since she first encountered it and it had been something she had never bothered to fully realize until now when she was alone with, probably, the most charming and handsome devil in all of Hogwarts and be utterly immune to his wit, charm and good looks all in one. It had seeded, grown and bloomed right under her nose and she had her head far too up in the clouds to realize it for the silly and ridiculous thing it was.

Sirius had managed to edge around her after waving his hand erratically in front of her face—in hopes of gaining her lost attention at the matter at hand—like walking forward for instance. Finding nothing more than a wall and a very real very annoying dead end, he prodded the wall in a few places with his wand to have the wall slide open revealing the others.

Lily looked up from her dazed situation and saw those hazel eyes she realized had been the criminal of planting something no less than a fairy tale within her.

So utterly and hopelessly, Lily Evans had realized she fell in love with James Potter.

"Evans… you're alright."

* * *

To My Reviewers:

Thanks all, Merry Christmas and such. Warm sentiments to you all.

Comments:

This one is one of my favourite chapters. Worked out quite well, I think. I'm possibly wrong, but I don't think so.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	19. Home for the Holidays

Chapter Nineteen: Home for the Holidays

"And it's simply just a _splendid_ affair! Lily, you absolutely _must_ come! It will be absolutely fabulous to have you there with us!" Emily Richardson said enthusiastically.

Lily simply nodded and smiled as they walked down the platform toward the awaiting train. She had hardly paid attention to anything that Richardson had been spouting the past ten or fifteen minutes as she was far too preoccupied with thoughts of the coming break. She was looking forward to warm fires, warm faces and warm houses. Everything else stood outside her scope of vision at the moment.

"My mother has the most wonderful spell to decorate the tree with—it lights up and they dance in front of your eyes as everything else just revolves around the tree. Breathtaking really. Lily, how does your family decorate the tree?"

Quickly snapped out of her reverie, Lily quickly recovered from her state of 'barely listening' to 'fully attentive' as she was now being fully immersed in the useless conversations that Emily Richardson deemed necessary. "Well, my family is mainly muggle and they refuse to allow me to do magic at home—legal or not—so we decorate the tree the old fashioned muggle way. It's a lot more fun than using magic anyway. I think using magic to decorate a Christmas tree kills the season wretchedly. Of course, we all celebrate the holidays in different ways. I'm just used to doing things by hand," she quickly added, not wanting to step over anyone's feelings.

Emily didn't seem to have noticed and simply smiled cheerfully. "Yes! Of course! The Holidays are simply wonderful no matter what you do with them!"

Lily smiled serenely, knowing quite precisely what _she_ would be doing during these holidays and they most certainly would _not_ be _simply wonderful_ no matter which way you looked at them. It was the principle of the matter that stated you were either chemically unbalanced, had your heart ripped out at the age of three or were just cruel to feel anything but utter _sorrow_ at what Lily would have to do during these holidays.

"Anyway, I'll see you again when school starts up again, Lily, I'm looking forward to what you have planned for our next ball!" Emily said, waving her hand frantically and quite caustically in the air as she walked backwards right into a pole. Her older brother, who was nearby, laughed at her expense and she turned around to reprimand him fully, red in the cheeks from embarrassment. Glancing back at Lily, her cheeks turned even redder as Lily giggled slightly at her expense as well before waving her off again. Emily Richardson disappeared with her brother and into the seat of a fairly expensive car that had been bewitched.

Turning, Lily boarded the train and found an empty compartment at the end of the cart—so she would not be found by the others, like Keily Hawkes or Cassia Fornacis who would undoubtedly come and pester her about how wonderful their holidays would be—only serving to remind her how miserable hers would be. At such crucial times in her life it wouldn't do well for her reputation to suddenly start snapping her head off like a turtle at classmates who loved and adored her.

Sitting down in the worn seat, she sighed and looked out the window with a sorrowful look. Since that wretched letter carved with her name in scarlet on the front and scarlet in the words she had been able to avoid the harsh reality of it all; all because of one James Potter. He had provided a temporary escape away from the inevitable so she could play popularity queen for just a little longer. Things would change after this holiday and she was sure that things would never quite be the same—even at school—after these holidays were over.

After all, like many other things in her life it reeked of change.

The compartment door slid open and the scanning eyes of Alicia Rose lit up and she sighed exasperatedly, stepping inside and shutting the door promptly behind her. Crossing both arms across her chest, she huffed and sat down.

"You would not believe it, Evans!"

Lily shook herself out of the hole she had begun to dig for the holidays and turned to her ailing friend who was red in the face. "What's the matter, Rose?" she asked monotonously. It was the tone she rarely ever used and she was even slightly surprised that she possessed such a dull and lifeless tune of voice.

Alicia, however, was unscathed completely by this. "Sean has told me he can only afford to spend three days of this break with me! How awful! Honestly, what am I to do with three days? That boy needs to understand that, yes, we are an item."

Giving her friend a very skeptical look, she folded her arms. "That is hardly what you would call 'an item' Rose. 'Items' are generally known throughout and infamous pairings within schools. No one knew that the two of you were together since third until sixth. That is very sad advertisement for such declarations and claims as to being an 'item,'" she said quite factually. Of course, she had only spoken the truth. Alicia's connections to the boy were so vague and under the radar that even Lily—who was astute to most things—hardly noticed that they were even friends.

"Well, sorry for wanting a little more attention now. I suppose things simply change. I mean, before I didn't really care how much time I spent with him—he was just someone that was my boyfriend. And now… Heavens, I don't know. It's just so odd to not have him around that much."

Alicia Rose was a girl that anyone found easy to admire terribly, however this Alicia Rose was nothing short of a Samantha Greenwood clone at this very moment. "Have you been spending a dear amount of time with Greenwood by any chance?"

"Gosh, is it that bad that it's _apparent_? Bloody awful. I'll have to fix that. But you've been rotting down in your antisocial hole for quite some time now. I mean, we've been spending less and less time together lately—probably because of a certain _boy_ but who am I to say?"

Choosing not to say anything at that—since denial was bad for the health and saying anything about it was just as good as confirmation for the ever perceptive Alicia Rose. "What are you doing for the holidays then?" she asked, completely switching the topic, hoping that Samantha had corrupted Alicia far enough to be able to use such cheap tactics at changing the topic at hand.

"Well, I'm—hey… you, that's not fair!" she said with a cheerful smile. "Now, tell me, tell me, have you two kissed? Has he proposed to you yet? Half the boys here already have—at least twice! And Sirius probably holds the record—that cod!"

Seeing that Alicia Rose was still, at least, partially, her same old self, Lily sighed and shook her head. "We are just friends, Rose. Give it a rest. I solemnly swear that I will tell you of any romantic interests in my life. In fact, you know the night of Yule? I spent it all with Sirius Black," she said playing it up for all it was worth to get her friend as far away from the truth as possible.

Alicia's mouth gaped wide open and her expression was nothing short of pure happiness. "Lily Evans! That's _wonderful_ news! I had almost thought you really _did_ like that queer Potter boy! After all, he's so quiet and reserved. Captain of Quidditch, yes, ruggedly handsome, yes, Charming? Hardly. I was honestly just bugging you about it so you would hurry it up with Mr Black. Lily Black, what a splendid name."

Lily giggled a bit, mentally retching at _that_ dubious outcome. Lily would only be willing to adopt _one_ last name and it would not be his. It wouldn't hurt for Alicia to know that little bit of gossip—after all, Alicia hardly cared for gossip. If Lily wanted something to get around the school in a day she would tell either Greenwood or Ryerson—the two most notorious gossips of their year. Chances were that Alicia wouldn't tell anyone until invites to a wedding were sent out.

"You think? I wonder; does he really like me? Sure, he's chased me around for affections since half way through first, but really…"

So long as idle chatter like this could make her forget about the real matter at hand, it would be fine that she was lying to her best friend she would trust to guard her life with. Alicia Rose was privy to many things that came along with a best friendship and Lily would let her safeguard and be the secret keeper for many things—unfortunately enough, however, Alicia Rose would never be given a key to the VIP sections of Lily Evans.

"Really, Evans, that boy is insanely in love with you. Head over heels. He'll probably propose again—for really real—during the end year ceremony in front of everyone. It will be a wonderful follow up for Jack Finnegan's stunning proposal to Fiona Wethersett, no? It will definitely break the Heads Curse, yes?"

"Yes… it would," she said, smiling. After a few moments however, her smile faltered and her eyes strayed to the window and the passing scenery of a winter wonderland; blanketed in soft white, fluffy snow that threatened you with frostbite so bad that it just dared you to stay out to play and make snowmen for far too long.

"Love, what's the matter?" Alicia asked in softer, quieter and completely serious tones. The old Alicia had come back and the drunken stupor seemed to be over. This was her reliable, dependable and loyal childhood friend Alicia Rose come back to her again when she needed someone most. Alicia was unlike the others in that she didn't care for Lily's popularity as a reason why they were friends—Alicia Rose was not superficial or made of plastic in any way.

Lily closed her eyes, tears starting to stream down her face. Taking out the letter with her name in scarlet cursive on the front from her coat pocket, she handed it over to Rose as her hand shook slightly. The letter was taken reverently but quickly. Lily had memorized the letter and knew exactly where Alicia's eyes had gone when the light gasp was heard and the reflexive hand went to her mouth in surprise.

Immediately getting up to sit down next to her, Alicia pulled Lily close into a hug as Lily began to sob out loud, tears falling like rain and shudders wracking her body. "Oh, Lily… it's… its awful… that's so… it's awful!" she said, her own voice breaking and her own eyes watering. Similar feelings washed throughout them both, as they both had shared parents with each other in one way or another—as they had shared many other things as children.

The rest of the train ride was in silence and neither felt the need to speak beyond what was necessary. As soon as the train stopped, they made idle chatter as quick as possible before Alicia ushered Lily and her belongings into the vehicle of her parents, swiftly explaining the circumstances and loading up the car with their things as Lily was seated in the backseat.

The mood thereafter was of sombre silence.

"Lily, darling, is there anything you need at home? Richard and I agreed that the best thing would be for you to stay with us this holiday. Of course, you are free to—"

"Thank you; that would be best. I need… a few things at home, yes. I also… probably need to attend the funeral and deal with the will and the house and… and… yes, that would definitely be best."

Evelyn Rose nodded and Richard Rose started the car and drove off towards her house. The car ride seemed to simply pass her by and she had to shake herself to realization when she saw her house up. There was a clean, fresh blanket of snow on an untouched front lawn and an untouched sidewalk. Things had moved so quickly in the car and in the train that the passage of time seemed as if water through her hands—like time she would never again get back no matter how hard she willed it to.

All her baggage was unloaded from the car and brought up to the front of the house. Lily just stood in front of the door, quietly looking at the wreath that had been put up—most likely a little earlier than all the other houses on the street. A light hand was laid on her shoulder and a few words were said before the Roses left her alone for a while, promising to come pick her back up in exactly one hour after Lily was able to finish a few things.

The house that still stood in front of her was still fresh with memories and feelings and warmth. The exterior was as kind and loving as always, it represented a place of solitude and where her heart laid its head to rest at night. The image was so perfect and unstained that Lily decided that it was just a nightmare. When she stepped through those doors and called out to her family, they would come.

Petunia would come and greet her with that fake sisterly smile and cheer; her mother would come and hug her; her father would come and smile at his accomplished daughter and take her bags upstairs for her. The smell of her mother's fresh cookies that—no matter how much work she had to do—would always be there, home-made from scratch and be one of the finest cookies you could ever have. There would be a faint smell of pine in the living-room as the tree is decorated top to toe with tinsel, baubles and ornaments.

Deciding that she would believe that letter was a lie, she piled up her bags, planning that she would surprise everyone and instead of being greeted during the holidays, she would greet them. Taking her long-forgotten worn house key out, she slid it into the lock and turned it, hearing the click and opened the door.

Absence of warmth; it was cold.

All the usual things did not happen and there were no cookies. The decorations were only half done and the tree wasn't even decorated except for a few of Petunia's baubles that she insisted should be up. No one came to greet her and there was no one who came to hug her or take her bags up. Not even Petunia was here—because she had been hospitalized from the accident.

Dropping her bags, she opened her mouth slightly as her mouth quivered. Falling to her knees, she started to cry loudly, holding a hand to her face while the other supported her on the soft carpet. The fireplace looked set, but the matches and wood were left unused and everything looked so warm and cheerful without anyone in it but how can a place be cheerful with no one to share that cheer? There was no warmth in this house and there was certainly no Christmas in this house.

"Lily…? Are you going to be okay?"

Lily just continued to cry. She wouldn't know. She wouldn't know. How could she know something so painful? Both of her parents were still alive and well—still able to smile, still able to hug, still able to bake cookies and still able to take time off work for their families.

It seemed that Alicia had voted to stay with her, to make sure that her friend didn't do something crazy or stupid in the process of her sorrow.

However, right now, with half her family dead, doing something crazy or stupid right now seemed to be the only logical answer to end the suffering.

_Dear Lily Evans,_

_We regret to inform you that, at exactly seven twenty-one pm, one Tristan Marshall Evans and Diane Evans died in a car crash while driving through a Death Eater and Auror battle. Your sister, Petunia Evans, has been hospitalized in St. Mungo's and is currently being moved to a muggle hospital near your home. We mourn your loss and send our condolences._

_We wish you well,_

_Sincerely,_

_Ellis Painmere; Ministry of Magic, Department of Magical Investigations, Second Division, Third Floor, Fourth Room._

* * *

To My Reviewers:

Skye: Well, yes, she has realized it nearly a million times, however she is one of those that refuse to believe it every time. I'm so glad you enjoy RAIN so much! It must mean I'm doing something right, yes?

You're all wonderful, really, you are. If it weren't for you all I probably wouldn't have posted up as many chapters as I have. Much love and thanks to everybody who reads it!

Comments:

So, yes, her parents have died. Did I avoid the telling? Well, naturally. I had left a vague number of hints, however.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.


	20. Snow Angels and Snow Devils

Chapter Twenty: Snow Angels and Snow Devils

"Dead."

The Rose's had given Lily liberty to come and go from their house as she pleased, but generally wanted her home by dinner so they wouldn't worry and have to search for her and cast various tracking spells. For the most part, she arrived on time, if not earlier. While there, she was able to escape reality and be cheerful to everyone. Dour moods were most certainly unappreciated during such a festive season and therefore Lily made efforts to help everyone forget her situation, above all, by being her usual self.

In short, aside from a particularly sombre car ride from King's Cross to the Evans estate and later on to the Rose home, Lily had been nothing short of a very cheerful house guest. Mister and Misses Rose were absolutely thrilled with Lily's 'quick' recovery after the shock she had from entering her own empty house the one night. They dismissed it as normal and thought not much more of it, however, Alicia, who knew much better, always gave her friend worried glances from the corner of her eyes from time to time in between the smiling.

Such worry from her dear friend was mainly what caused Lily to venture to her house nearly every day and walk the empty halls from room to room, avoiding her dead family member's rooms. Their ghosts may still linger around and Lily was hardly ready to face them where they may be most. Even then, she could not attempt to approach those rooms, knowing that the owners of those rooms were now dead.

Regardless of that, however, her sister was still alive. That spoiled, older sister whom she had come to detest on various levels and love on certain others. Petunia most certainly lived up to the pet name that Lily had given her and was petty about various things on various levels. This would be one of them. Even so, she could not bear to see her sister and not hate her even more for surviving the wreckage while her parents lay dead in a morgue, awaiting a burial.

Currently, Lily was sitting outside in the snow on her bedroom balcony, the one that overlooked the gardens and the old apple tree whose branches were laden with snow. Looking upon that tree, she remembered accidentally firing off magic that caused snow from its branches to cascade down and engulf Petunia in a bunker of snow. The event was hilarious to both girls—mostly because they were still on good terms with each other and far too young to know much more than each other.

Once Lily became a witch, they never spoke like that again.

"Mother… dead…" she said quietly, clasping her cold hands together as she watched her frosty breath leave. Lily had dressed up in her best furs, to avoid freezing to death—as the winter here was a little fiercer than they were up at Hogwarts with fluffy white snow that was cold but not entirely chilling.

Diane Evans was a woman of great calibre and attended the highest circles in the muggle world—with even some connections to the royal family. Originally Diane Ross, she had met Lily's father under some very odd circumstances. It was during a camping trip up to the Ross lodge by some lake that had been monopolized by the richer circles and taken care of to be pristine and beautiful. Diane was out in a boat with a friend or two out on the lake and somehow fell in. The sheer weight of her dress was so much that she simply plunged downwards towards what should've been her death.

However, it seemed that the lake was not as monopolized as they thought for Tristan Evans had been swimming and saw the thrashing girl sinking rapidly. As he pulled her up to the surface and onto land, she later admitted that she couldn't swim and that she vowed to never wear such elegant dresses that would weigh heavily in water out on a lake.

Diane had been born and bred within a rich society and had many suitors lined up for her at her disposal—however she did not care for their gold-digging ideals and, as an escape from high society, she had fallen unconsciously in love with Tristan.

There was no surprise in that for Diane was the sweetest, kindest and loving person alive that Lily knew of and based many assets and values of her life on her mothers. Such a cheerful and strong-willed woman was admired by many and she had no enemies and not a single fault but being slightly naïve and utterly kind. Diane was that person who was always so perfect you hated them most because you loved them most.

"Father… dead…" as Lily said this, the tears that threatened to well up and fall now fell.

Lily had never known many other boys at her age and the many suitors that had been lining up for her every summer at her return from school merely increased in number. However, like how a son will always love his mother first before the woman he marries, Lily loved her father the most. Regardless of the extra attention she received from both the sons and their families—who had heard frequent vows that Lily would be the girl they married—Lily loved her father most and would trade all those boys for her father in less than a heartbeat.

Tristan Evans was from a high-class family, but not to the extreme that the Ross' were, floating around in the richer circles of society. As a child, he was given the better things in life but was also taught the better things in life by his parents that he cherished most. Tristan was an only child and thus spoiled rightly. However, despite all these luxuries, he never flaunted such things and was the most amiable person you could ever meet. Tristan exuded charm beyond anything you could ever imagine, but was also quite a troublesome child at heart—often pulling pranks on many of his cousins who often visited. Quite a few warnings were sent home with him from school and his parents never looked twice at them—having raised that boy and knowing what he would and would not do.

That vacation out on the lake was a camping trip, tent, fire and all with his parents, whom had spoiled him excessively after his graduation. Upon swimming in the lake and seeing a rather odd sight of a girl falling down towards the bottom of the lake where she would most definitely rest in peace, he saved her and instantly fell in love with her at that moment. After a grand feat of rescue, their parents had met and further connections had been established.

A few fairly short months later and the strong approval of both parents they had exchanged vows and married later in the spring. Coincidentally, Lily was born five years later in that spring.

Tristan wasn't interested in floating around from circle to circle as much as Diane; however suffered for her because of love. When Lily was old enough to enter the branches of high society, she shared many pranks with her father as well as glares from her mother—disapproving of their behaviour at such social functions. Lily always genuinely thought it was scandalous that her father would do such things—like secretly place a frog on the dessert table—however was often found willing to be pulled in as an accomplice to care. Despite the nature of the prank and the outcome, Lily would always get off Scott-free because her father would take the blame if they were ever caught.

Getting up from her seat, Lily went back into her bedroom and closed the door behind her, shutting the curtains and taking her white fur coat off and draping it over the fine redwood chair that sat at her fine redwood desk. Both Lily and Petunia were spoiled silly, but also brought up with much the same upbringings her parents had. It was Petunia who had turned awry when Lily was found to be, by some crazy instance, a full-blooded witch.

Despite how much she didn't want to see Petunia, she decided that she should at least go to visit her only sister. After all, her grandparents probably wouldn't be seen until the funeral—whenever that would take place. Christmas was not long to come and the event would have to take place before then, to act as a cheerful event after a sorrowful one.

Taking a quick glance through her closet, she took out a more modest coat that would weather the cold and yet give her a commoner's look rather than the finer upper-crust of society before taking steps down the grand staircase and heading out before locking the doors behind her. The Evans had little need or desire for personal servants and thus those that were employed in the Evans household merely came twice a month to keep everything generally in check when necessary—however they stayed on the estate during holidays.

Calling for a taxi, she made swift tracks towards the hospital she had been informed her sister was currently under intensive care in. Stepping back outside into the brisk air, she looked up at the large white building and sighed. Lily knew that her guess at Petunia's reaction to her would be as good as anyone's, however; Lily knew her sister fairly well in that very little would change between them, despite their parents deaths.

Walking up to the receptionist, she kindly asked for her sister and was sent up to the thirteenth floor and the fifth room on the left from the elevators after five minutes of pointless questioning and searching through databases. Lily quickly arrived at the aforementioned room and held her hand up hesitantly to knock on the door.

What would Petunia say? Would she be angry? Spiteful? More than usual? Or would they suddenly become sisters who had lost their parents together?

No. They had not been together since Lily received her letter and they never would be.

Knocking on the door, she heard a monotone voice telling her to come in. As she stepped in, she saw the shocked expression on her sister's face and she suddenly received her answer. It seemed that Petunia had been quite close to a full recovery and was reading a book with no discernable title to be found. The front was taken off and the hard-bound cover was all that remained—as Petunia liked to read her books.

"I didn't know this was where they sent trash. I shall have to switch rooms. Get out."

Sticking her nose up at her sister, she frowned. "Oh? Dropping the sisterly act so soon are you? Because your dear boyfriend is related to magic doesn't interest you anymore? Don't think you should butter me up anymore? No one to _impress_ about it anymore? They thought it was wonderful how you and I were getting _along_ didn't they? And suddenly I'm trash."

Petunia's green eyes flared and she glared viciously at her sister. "You filthy thing! How on earth could I be related to _you_? How dare you speak to me like that? Just who do you think you are?"

Fixing her with cold green eyes, Lily kept her head held high. "I am Lily Evans, social queen of Hogwarts School of _Witchcraft_ and Wizardry. A dubious title that you could never hope to achieve in any school, muggle or witch alike. For poor individuals such as yourself it is, in fact, a true wonder that you are able to even attain a boyfriend."

Petunia's eyes darkened as Lily knew the dark and severely shallow waters she had so willingly tread. "_True wonder_ is it?" she said, her voice reaching unbelievably shrilly heights. "Well, you freak, have _you_ gotten a boyfriend at all? Is _he_ here to back up your claim? Heaven knows you've already spawned more little _demons_ like yourself already, you tramp!"

Taking a quick step up to her sister she slapped her with all the expertise of a professional from years of practice upon one Sirius Black. Petunia's head fell to the side as she sat there, stunned for a moment before nursing her wounded cheek—which was now turning an impressive shade of red much to Lily's pride. Sirius' skin was so much darker it was hard to tell whether she actually damaged anything or not.

"I come back from school to find out my parents are _dead_ and that my sister is in the _hospital_—potentially dead—and _this_ is how she treats me!?" Lily shrieked at her, the tears spilling forth without consent. "I come back and… and _cry_ my eyes out for what seems like forever… and… and you…" Now, despite anything else, knowing that there was no longer anyone she had to make smiles for, no one she had to act for, no one she had to be happy for, Lily broke down and bawled, falling to her knees, crying into her sister's lap.

Lily could feel a hesitant hand stroke her hair gently, eventually turning into a rhythm. As children, Lily would always run to Petunia for her nightmares and Petunia had so gallantly chased them away like a prince. In moments like those, when Lily was crying and most vulnerable to anything, Petunia stroked her hair comfortingly like this—in this same manner. It was almost like they were kids again.

"Lily… I'm sorry. Mom and Dad… they wanted to see you graduate so much. I was sitting in the back at the time and all I remember was that something hit us and destroyed our car. When I came to there were flashing lights and everyone around me. The first thing I realized, maybe subconsciously, was that mother and father were dead. I am sad to say that my instinct was correct because I saw their dead, lifeless bodies on stretchers on the ground while everyone around me tried to hush me and calm me down."

Lily stood up and hugged Petunia—for she was all the family she had left now—despite how much she hated her sister, she was still her sister. "I was so worried that you had died too… I was so worried that you all had just… left me behind!"

Petunia smiled—a genuine smile. "Don't worry about that, Lily. Never worry about that. Their funeral has of yet to be announced and their will discussed later. We were all waiting for you to return and for me to get out of that wretched coma I was in. Who are you staying with for holidays? Not a boyfriend, I hope, I shall have to kill him."

Lily smiled. "No, I'm staying with Alicia. I couldn't bear to stay in that empty house. Are you doing okay? Will you be fine? Shall I get you anything?"

Petunia looked away. Despite that they were sisters, it seemed that 'sisterly time' was over and cold hard formalities should intervene as Lily dried her tears. "I will be fine. Don't concern yourself with me. The doctors say I will be leaving this place within next week. I will leave a message and details with the Roses."

Shoulders stiffening, Lily frowned slightly at the abrupt attitude change. It seemed that, despite all that happened, the fact that they were sisters would never overcome the fact that she was a witch. "I'll be waiting for it. Get well soon, then, Petunia, I will see you later."

Taking her leave, Lily felt the tears come back to her face as she felt like she could close her eyes and the accident would play out in her mind over and over again, as if she were really there.

Times like these, she was grateful that Petunia still knew how to be a sister sometimes.

Returning to her house, she stood in the doorway, like she had once done as a child coming back from the rain. Closing the door, she took her boots off and made way to the kitchen, sitting down where she usually sat. "Mom… I'm sorry… I'm… so sorry…"

The phone suddenly rang and Lily felt almost inclined to answer it. After it had rung seven times, she got up and started for the phone when the answering machine picked up. _"Hello, this is the home of the Evans family, we're away from the phone right now, if you could leave a message with us we'll be sure to return your call. Thank you."_

It was the voice of her mother, Diane, in her cordial, yet very warm tone of voice. Lily touched the phone briefly before the person on the other end started to record their message for them.

"Lily? Are you there…? Well, I suppose not. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to spend some time with Sirius and I—as we realize we live in the general area near you. Rose actually tipped me on that before you think I am a stalker. Aside from that—"

"Hello?" Lily answered quickly.

"—ah, Lily. You're home, splendid. I had phoned Rose to the point of death for your whereabouts before she conceded defeat."

"How do you know Alicia?"

James coughed slightly. "Well, we might have been childhood friends, maybe. Girl hasn't changed her phone number in all her life—or moved for that matter. My parents are deathly fond of her parents and vice-versa. They even made wedding arrangements that shall never be discussed by either end—I hope you understand. I've broken many hearts with this piece of information alone," he said, and Lily could tell that he was smiling. Smiling herself, she realized that she wanted to see that smile, to see him laugh, to see him happy so that she, in turn, could be happy.

"It will never come to pass. Alicia Rose has undeniably assured me in that nonchalant way of hers when concerning Sean Patil, that she is with the man she will marry. Broken many hearts herself, you understand."

"Completely. So, are you up for tomorrow? We shall pick you up at quarter to ten at Roses house—as you are staying with her I am to understand."

"I haven't even given an answer to you yet, James Potter. You silly boy, I could be doing more important things than wasting my time with you," she said with a smile—knowing that full well it was a bold-faced lie.

"Ah, but you see, I can tell your future, and in your future you have already said 'Yes, James, I'll spend the whole day with you and Sirius Black—of all people.' So, we shall come by at quarter to ten. I'll see you tomorrow, Lils, alright?"

Lily smiled. "Alright, James. I'll see you soon."

Hanging up the phone, she pressed the delete button on her flashing answering machine. It wouldn't help to have such a long conversation on her answering machine.

Altogether, he was right, she would've said yes regardless of anything else on her mind. James had a nasty habit of chasing her storm clouds away and she liked him all the more for it. The fact that Sirius Black would accompany them all tomorrow was, indeed, depressing, but such a thing could not be helped in any way. Before she spent time here and there with James, she often saw the two of them together and he was always present for Sirius' poor attempts at capturing her affection.

Decidedly, at this point, Lily decided that she would enjoy her holiday break, whether that was with Rose, Sirius, Petunia or James. Nothing would get in her way, she would put the matter of her parents' death behind her and she would walk away from it stronger—rather than in more shards of glass. In the haze of it all, she could almost see her shattered image as James sat there, painstakingly piecing it back together, bit by bit, until it formed a complete and whole and beautiful image of Lily Evans—as she was always meant to be.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Much love to you all. I truly appreciate all of the, maybe, three minutes you take into reviewing my story. Makes me happy to know that people enjoy reading it. Well, I enjoy writing it for you all! I hope to still see you at the very end of this as well!

Comments:

Ah... tut, tut. No comment.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.


	21. An Eve Out

Chapter Twenty-One: An Eve Out

"I daresay that's the twenty-third time today," James remarked.

Alicia shook her head. "You're mistaken, Potter, that's the twenty-fourth. You are missing that crucial time the second we left that wretched restaurant at lunch," she corrected airily, giving a snide grin at him.

Snorting right back at her, he glared at her like the thorny plant she was named for. "I'll have you know, Rose, that I can keep much better count at these things than you. After all, it is _my_ best friend's health at stake," he said with all the confidence of McGonagall.

Glaring right back at him, undaunted, she folded her arms haughtily. "You prat. _My_ best friend's _sanity_ is at stake, and I am sure that is much more of a grievous matter than Sirius taking a trip to a hospital wing—or St. Mungo's for that matter."

Lily sighed, coming between them. "The fact of the matter, you two, is that you are, in fact, _both_ wrong. That is the twenty-eighth time today—"

"—twenty-ninth—ow!—thirtieth—ow!—okay, okay, twenty-eight—plus two more—today," Sirius corrected, sporting two more red marks on either side of his cheek. Whether such colour was from the cold or the harshness of Lily's slapping and sore hand was unknown.

Huffing indignantly, Lily glared at him icily. "I'll have you know, Sirius Black, that I shall not be bothered by the likes of _you_ today."

Taking this as provocation of the largest form, Sirius smirked at her before it slowly paved way for a large grin. "Ah, my beautiful, wonderful and ever so… well, look at that! You make me speechless, Evans!"

Pursing her lips, Lily frowned ever more. There was simply no letting up to the brash compliments and endless supplies of the charming Sirius Black that Lily Evans honestly thought that she would go right mad if he made another one. It seemed that his relentless efforts had been doubled today, in fact. Reasons to that were unknown to her, and even so she did not want to dawdle her thoughts upon that either.

The first half of the day had been uneventful, aside from Sirius toting around mistletoe with him in vain attempts to kiss Lily. They had seen a Christmas play being shown in town square, gone shopping for gifts for each other—with different individuals—split up, had time alone with those they wished and were brought back together to now find a place to dine for dinner.

Taking the day in stride and reflecting over it, Lily smiled, thinking that this would be the first time she spent time with friends other than Alicia outside of school. Not her choicest group of friends, but friends nonetheless. The entire day had been splendid, as nature had decided to glitter them all with light flakes of fluffy white stuff from a beautiful clouded sky.

"You obviously don't know the finer side to dining, despite your cheap heritage, Potter," Sirius mocked in a childish tone of voice, adamantly crossing his arms and stamping his foot upon the ground, causing snow to flutter everywhere.

Lily scowled at him and he took the time to glance over and grin. "Black, if you so much as—"

"Charming, Evans, you look even more beautiful with such a pretty frown upon that dainty face of yours." Lily sighed, throwing her arms up in frustration before storming off. "My love! My radiant sun and beloved flower! Come back to me! I promise to shower you with extra bouts of love and other floral objects if you do! Give a man his air, woman!" he added desperately, giving Lily one final sickening feeling that reached every corner of her being.

"Then perhaps I should disappear so you shall choke to an immediate and very welcome death, Mr Black!" she cried out shrilly, sensing Alicia hot on her heels.

Grinning from side to side, Alicia took a sidelong glance at her friend since kindergarten. "My, my, my, Evans, what a vicious tongue you have today. No shortage on the one-sided comments for Black, are there? And that poor boy whom you love so dearly—"

"I do not love Sirius Black!" she cried out so loudly that the boys had heard it most utterly.

A faint call was heard back from the dirty mouth of the one and only Sirius Black; however such a comment was widely ignored by all others present.

Shaking her head, Alicia sighed. "Ah, what is pure bliss other than young love? My dear, just let him catch you under mistletoe and be done with it! Come back with a crowned king, you silly duck."

"Duck? What manner of household do you belong to, Rose? Surely not a normal one."

Smiling mischievously, Alicia let out a breath of air, letting it evaporate into nothing before coming back with a sharp-tongued comment all her own. "From the highest breed of pheasants and other winged edible creatures, of course, my love."

"Ah, I was starting to become worried for you, my darling Rose, I was afraid your name had mistakenly chosen you. Perhaps you should discard it and adopt something slightly closer—something perhaps with feathers for a start."

Realizing that their play had come to an end, Alicia having no more to say or do with such comments to relate to feathered objects, bird or roast alike, she simply burst laughing as Lily took a few moments to bask in the glory that was her victory over the matter before succumbing to the laughter herself. It had been a long time since their last quaff like that—as Hogwarts desired more culture from its individuals, and thus Lily forsook childhood memories to don the crown that had so presumptuously been placed upon her head. Fiona Wethersett had worn it with grace and style, however, Lily Evans brought to it a charm and a beauty that none had ever known.

Catching her long lost breath, Alicia sighed. "Ah, Lily, that was absolutely wonderful fun! Why don't we do such things more often?"

Snorting, Lily drew her scarf around her tighter, catching a chill not from the cold. "You know that already, Alicia. Foolish things are only reveries of childhood days. We've simply outgrown it. Although, for the memory, I must admit it definitely gets you thinking about what you've become since those times."

As if lost in thought, Alicia looked to the sky quietly. Her eyes seemed to glaze over ever so slightly as her lips formed a slow smile, as if she were too lost in the moment to realize anything else. Lily faintly guessed that no less than a building falling on her would shake her away from this dreamy state.

"Lily, it's so wonderful that you've found love. Sirius is a good boy; overall, he'll most certainly take care of you."

Pursing her lips at the distasteful comment, Lily narrowed her eyes cautiously—contemplating whether she should be angry in the next second or not. "You seem as though you've been smoking something muggle, Rose; drugs are unhealthy for you, you know. Besides, you were wired on your ridiculous assumptions that I liked James Potter. In fact, you were so utterly _convinced_ that you downright accused me of such a horrendous thing."

Throwing her head back in laughter, Alicia shook her head, holding her middle as if it would burst. Feeling rather indignant, Lily frowned severely at her. "My dear, there is no way on God's green earth that you would possibly find Potter to be on par with yourself. There, my dear, is only one man upon this planet truly made heart and soul for specifically you. That man lies within the childish and foul depths that is Sirius Black. Besides, can you imagine yourself with Potter? What a riotous laugh _that_ would be! Talk of the school, that would be."

Lily mechanically laughed with her. Silently, she finally realized it would never work out. It could never happen. Despite all she cared for the boy, it would never fully be accepted. The fine lines in society would be broken. A princess and a pauper relationship were much more troublesome than one would imagine. Ah, the wealthy princess going for some commoner, how nice. Were it Sirius Black, things would most definitely be different. Hogwarts would finally have a crowned king, first of all.

"You see? I told you, I have no affection for that boy. But I daresay that Mr Black will have to work harder than he is already trying."

Alicia nodded in agreement. "Yes, his Christmas present to you shall do the trick, I think. Oh, Lily, I have a favour to ask of you, it concerns a very important and special date some months in the future."

Quirking an eyebrow, she cast her glance fully over her friend bright with cheer—and not from the season at all. There was something hidden beneath that candour, beneath that shallow happiness that she could sometimes be known for. Beneath that, Lily saw excitement and fear.

"Possibly. What do you need from me on such a dubious and far-off occasion?"

Alicia now grinned, ear to ear and flashing her pearly whites. "My dear, I have told you many times how much in love I am with Sean Patil—"

"—Not really, no. His name is hardly mentioned between us. Ah, have you two broken up? I'm ashamed that I, of all people, must ask this very forward question, but simple observation simply cannot do it in your peculiar case with this boy."

Huffing, Alicia folded her arms, a scowl replacing her merry mood quite evenly. "Well, that's an Evans for you. Quite the opposite I'm afraid. Mr Sean Patil has asked me to marry him. You see? I told you he would be the one I one day marry."

Lily smiled for all the world to see; a rare smile that was granted to very few individuals, all of which were summed up as one Alicia Rose. Honestly, she never expected all those silly little claims of marriage to such a boy to ever be plausible. Then again, it was completely considerable when you remember that neither individual were much for public displays of anything pertaining to the opposite sex other than perhaps snickering and laughing—mainly on Alicia's half. Despite her demeanour, it was very hard to become good friends with Alicia Rose—for popularity mongers like Emily Richardson or Samantha Greenwood were never much taken well by Alicia. Evelyn Richardson, who had much tighter binds to Alicia since saving her daydreaming life during Quidditch practice when an incoming quaffle was sent her direction when practicing with Hufflepuff.

The poor Richardson twins were separated into different houses—although many wonder if they were sorted, perhaps, into the _correct_ houses. Evelyn was much more aggressive than her twin, Emily, and thus stood out in a much clearer form—although not a single person could tell the difference when both twins were together. Hufflepuff had not done overly well for her as a house, while Gryffindor did very little for Emily as well.

"Rose! Oh, Rose! That's wonderful news! When did he propose? How did he do it? What did you say after?" Even to Lily, who often scorned even the hottest topics of gossip near her, felt inclined to be asking such belligerent questions like these in high hopes of receiving an answer—frankly to all of them.

Alicia simply smiled. "Well, I had volunteered to clean up the team locker room—as you know, Sean is also on the team—and he had coincidentally volunteered as well. I hardly believe this was his intent, simply because he was so shocked to see me there. In fact, he thought that Scott Bell would be helping—however that prat is much too busy with Miss Blume to be a use to any of us. Anyway, after we finished, it was after hours and curfew was due very soon. The stars shone and the moonlight cascaded down ever so magically as we sat talking on the bleachers.

"We started talking about the future… one thing led to another and he proposed to me straight out of the blue! He told me that he carried the ring around incase of such emergencies. I told him right then and there that I would never love another man for there was no other Sean Patil in this world who could compare. After that… well…"

Lily stared wide-eyed at her friend in suspense. "Well? Come on, love, don't leave me at that!" she protested, feeling the tension building up.

"He kissed me. For, the first time, he kissed me. Our relationship was never anything _close_, as you know—well, you _should_ know since you are the primary individual who bothers me about the situation. However, it was… nice. Then he also said he loved me," she added belatedly—just about spoiling the effect.

Throwing her arms around her friend, Lily smiled into her scarf. "Oh, Rose, how wonderful! It seems like something straight out of a storybook. I hope certain boys propose in much the same romantic manner to me as well. How exciting!"

"Anyway, my proposition to you, Miss Evans, is if you would consider—nay, you don't need to consider because you will be it whether you like it or not. You shall be my one and only maid of honour. I need no other but you, love. Sean has also decided to choose one person as his best man as well. It will be… simply nice."

Lily hugged her tighter. "Oh, Rose! You're wonderful, you know that? Simply wonderful, love!"

Releasing her from her joy, Lily held Alicia at arms length for a moment before they both laughed a bit. Little did they know they had circled around the entire block during their meanderings and ended up right back where they started, the boys on the opposite end of the street flagging them down to a restaurant they had seemed to come to an agreement upon. The restaurant was high class and stylish and anything but quaint or ordinary. Lily belatedly wondered if Sirius and James expected her to _pay_ for all this, since she was the only one with money in this muggle world—as far as she knew.

"Sirius Black, you cad, what a wonderful fine dining experience this will bring. However, I have to ask, who is paying the bill for all this?"

Throwing his head back in howling laughter, Sirius took her hand as she made a face—showing her obvious disgust. "My darling, Lily Evans, tonight you shall dine like the queen you are; courtesy of Mr Potter and myself. I am not only rich in good looks but wealth as well! Well? Are you surprised?"

James huffed. "You deadbeat. Stop lying, I'm paying this one, Lily. Sirius here has not a pound to his name in this world."

Grinning, Sirius let go of Lily's hand to throw an arm around James. "Yes, but we both have all the galleons to ours in the wizarding realm, now don't we, James? Of course, Lily love, James here is obscenely well off in both—are we not?"

Sighing exasperatedly, James' shoulder slumped dejectedly. "You, Black, are a bother sometimes. Come on girls, after you," he continued, holding the brass bar door open and allowing them through.

The inside of the restaurant was like fine china and most likely just as expensive as they stepped onto lush velvet rugs. Lily could sense the uneasiness of Alicia—as her only fine-dining experience lay in the magical world—wherein rules were very much different. Not grossly different, but enough to embarrass you silly in front of your peers. Despite that, her mask was of pure brilliance and it seemed that neither boy realized this.

A waiter came by and Lily took off her coat, handing it to him as everyone followed suit. It seemed that the fine taste Sirius had for everything applied to things even foreign to him—regardless of how much of an idiot he is.

This unknown bout of knowledge revealed itself as he offered his arm to her when their server came for them to seat them at a table. Customs dictated that—when young girls in the presence of young boys—everyone be paired up. Taking a quick glance at Alicia—who had already fully betrayed her by taking James' arm—she scowled at Sirius. The most genuine smile in the world was simply cemented to his face and she briefly wondered if she could shatter it with a hammer. Then again, large, blunt, metal and very heavy objects were wont to shatter many things it came into contact with.

Such things were common truths.

Groaning indignantly she slowly took his arm and he—if possible—grinned even more foolishly. As they walked along, following their server, Lily looked away from Sirius—her eyes trailing to the fine rug—a rug that looked more expensive than the one that adorned her room. The rug had been imported and made from the finest silks and velvets woven as one. Chagrined by this very plausible fact, Lily looked to the table they were being sent to.

It was secluded, it was secret, and it was private.

Nothing had prepared her for something quite like this.

They had their own room—as in, completely and absolutely to themselves.

The sound of money could be heard flapping away in the distance. Despite her ridiculous wealth in the muggle world, she still undeniably had a fair share of common economics and moral values. Splurging half your fortune in a single night at a single restaurant was not conclusive to existing wealth in your coffer.

"Oh my, well isn't _this_ extensive," she stated plainly.

Seating her at the table, Sirius sat down next to her and smiled charmingly at her as he took her hand and kissed it. "Well, only the best for you, love."

It was if the world had stopped and Lily's stomach was the only one to feel it as it churned in distaste more than hunger or sickness ever could. This fool was playing her for one and she could feel the scent of his probably expensive cologne just ebbing off him in wave after wave of nausea. It was not that he had bad taste, this boy; it was simply that he _was_ bad taste.

Snatching her hand away from him, she pushed his face away from hers before grabbing a napkin and rubbing her hand off. "Stop tainting me with your filth, you dog."

"Woof, woof," he said with a grin, wagging his eyebrows. "For you, darling, I could be."

Shuddering in horror, Lily opened her mouth to retort when she was unsuspectingly cut off. "Alright, there'll be enough time to harass Miss Evans tonight, Mr Black, lay off a bit. I'd rather not lose my appetite before the food arrives," James said, interrupting the exchange that could only have violent endings possible. It was a pleasant interruption because Lily was about to say something at that.

Such things shall not be mentioned, however.

Pouting at James, Sirius folded his arms. "Well, Potter, at least _I've_ got a woman to pester. You've got someone who is taken for a date."

James looked quickly to Alicia and she shrugged shamelessly. Mouth slightly gaping in surprise, his eyebrows arched questioningly. "You _are_? Rose, the things I find out about you are absolutely fascinating. Who is the lucky prat, then?"

"Sean Patil," she replied, slightly put off by his enthusiasm about the topic. Alicia was coy to gossip about others but very blunt and straightforward when it came to herself and despised topics that pertained to her in any which way—oddly enough especially those containing certain boys.

Grinning ear to ear, James sighed. "Well, must tell mum then. She shall be in despair ever so that you will unfortunately not be the girl to whom I wed one day. Good for you, Rose."

Sirius nodded, "Yes, it's time for you to go and find some lucky lady, Potter. Plenty flowers in the garden; of course there's only one _lily_ for me," he said suggestively, looking at Lily out of the corner of his eyes. "What say you we turn our current relationship into that of flowers and beauty in that they are always together?"

Lily inwardly frowned at this comment. James need not find _any_ girl for Lily would be sure that _any_ other girl would be effectively taken care of. However… should he find one simply ravishing on his own… her efforts would be for naught; for this boy would need the entire state and more to be against such a union for him to care either which way—this much was common sense from his maintenance of hair alone.

Thinking back upon that foolishly written letter, Lily pursed her lips ever so slightly, deciding that once back in school that she would tell this boy—who seemed to be ever so perceptive, yet as dense as they come.

"I am afraid that dubious outcome will only occur once I have received a severe case of chronic amnesia and have been shot senseless with Unforgiveables until my brain explodes."

Sirius sighed. "Ah, my sweet love, how you wound this poor man's heart with your hurtful words!"

"I will wound you far worse if you do not desist, Black," she threatened—with all ill intentions to do so.

"But, my darling—"

"Black, Evans, enough quarrelling. There will be enough time for that after, I do believe our server is more than ready to take our orders," Alicia cut in, making the final word on the matter. It seemed that James' word wasn't enough against theirs—regardless of his efforts to stop it. Thankfully Alicia's voice was blunt enough to simply drown out everything else.

Pursing her lips, Lily narrowed her eyes heatedly at Sirius as he threw his head back in laughter. "Ah, my apologies, kind sir. Just a bit of quarrelling—perfectly natural!"

"Ah, yes, perfectly natural except your filthy appendage seems to have moved itself around me. Remove it yourself or I will remove it for you in a very permanent way, Black," she threatened.

Paying her no mind, Sirius continued talking to the waiter, eventually ordering the food—surprisingly muggle—with a perfected countenance and even grace. To this end, Lily could not help but stare in shock at the boy who had destroyed his idiot status in her eyes—for now at least. Delusional fools like Sirius Black were likely to get themselves in dire trouble someday.

Such stares like this were often found within the same sentence with the word 'love,' and such proof was evident in Alicia smiling from across the table. Having noticed this reaction, Lily had to quickly quench this feeling of admiration she had for this boy before he noticed and—ah.

Too late.

"Surprised? I dabble a bit in the muggle world from time to time. Common etiquette is all. Simple chitchat with your server is mandatory—on both sides. True sign of those that belong in the upper circles it is."

Having keen senses attuned to those of rubbish and lies, Lily could hear the truth in his voice and his experience. Her parents had often chatted with the waiters, waitresses and staff at the classy restaurants they had gone to. Idle conversations were beyond her understanding back then, and even now up until this point. It felt like someone had shed a little light on the life she had lived for so long but knew nothing about. All the practices, all the etiquette—she hardly knew what it was for when she saw herself in comparison to the common girls who spoke volumes of their poor upbringing from their tone of voice alone.

Individuals like them never made it much further than the mounds of filth they had grown up around in her former opinion. At this moment, however, she was having second thoughts as to how unbelievably free they were from all the trash and restrictions the higher class had set upon themselves. However, it was much too ingrained within her very core to do much else about it.

Pure breeding was simply woven into the very fabric of her being.

"I see," she said simply, deciding not to pick a bone with this boy—who knew so much more about her world than she did. For all the mannerisms she acquired, they did nothing for her as they did for the ever-gallant Sirius Black—who knew them so well that they could only complement his existence rather than tarnish it.

Sirius merely smiled lightly at her—charmingly and kindly. It seemed like all eyes were on her at that moment in time as she found herself to be smiling right back at him—as if the most natural thing in the world to do. Truly, it had been the first time she genuinely smiled at Black with no ulterior motive behind it.

As she glanced across the table, she could see the smile clearly spoken in Alicia's eyes. It was apparent she approved of this progress—who couldn't? It seemed that Lily was finally moving on from her isolated rule to crown a king—a king that she would no doubt be expected to marry. It was her plan, after all, wasn't it? To marry, in the end, Sirius Black? Wasn't he the one that she should decide to be with? Wasn't he the one that would only flatter her crown ever more?

Wasn't the charming Sirius Black meant to be her knight in shining armour?

When her eyes passed over James, she saw him smile at the exchange as well before turning his eyes away smartly—as if catching her eye was a common mistake not to be repeated. Lily couldn't help but feel her heart flutter at this.

Was he disappointed? Sorrowful? _Sad?_

Did it even make a difference to him? Did James… possibly… did he feel the same way? Within those kind hazel eyes, those hazel eyes she had seen so long ago with the same life and the same depths brimming within them as the day she first saw them, within those hazel eyes she could clearly see her heart, encased within its hazel depths, never to leave fully or willingly.

It gave her a feeling of solace within the moment she had caught his eye and he turned away that she only blankly looked once more upon the charming Sirius Black and saw the same kindness reflected in his eyes as well. There was only one reason that the charming Sirius Black was so charming, and he was decidedly so because of James.

Everything because of James.

Sirius, having taken her hand and kissed it lightly, took upon the mantle of a prince and carried on more idle conversations—never letting go of her hand as his fingers wove themselves in with hers under the table—secret and away from all other prying eyes. It was comforting—to feel his hand securely around hers—so comforting in fact that she dare not remove it. The words that now flowed out of his mouth came with such elegance that she found herself listening to every word—despite how foolish she knew they must be.

This very moment, Lily had caught another glimpse of the prince that all of Hogwarts knew he must be—beneath the rubbish, the childishness and the _filth_, was a prince in beggar's clothing.

Now Lily knew what people saw in him, why people listened to his stupid and meaningless words—this prince brought himself off his throne to mingle with those of lesser breeding. The Noble House of Black, after all, was said to be of the purest bloods—dating back generation upon generation. There was no child born to the Black household that could compare with the likes of Sirius Black—because he was a prince that became a pauper then elevated himself to prince once more.

"You must take manner lessons and etiquette, Lily; am I correct?"

"Er… yes, that's right. Although… more often than not, I believed them to be rubbish… and thankfully… I now never have to suffer them ever again…"

A compassionate look entered all their eyes as they all heard the nostalgia and the sorrow in her tone. There was no hiding it from them. They all knew—if not told directly by her, by others around her who had questioned the same thing they once did.

What happened to the glamorous Lily Evans?

"Three days from now… I am to attend a funeral. It has been arranged by others to lift the burden off myself and my older sister. Would you all… please attend?"

There was no other answer to that question for any of them other than a unanimous yes.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

In a car? Yes, yes she did. Unlike everyone else who took the train, she took the car from having the luxury of being picked up straight at the station by family. Yes, I thought this once too and then remembered why I wrote it that way through editing. Of course you never know that because Emily is a fairly insignificant character in RAIN and thus does not demand as much information about her to be very well known. And, yes, everyone else takes the train, they are just not mentioned in that chapter for doing so.

I could think of a million and one ways to say it, but there is still only so much that can get the message across other than a point blank 'Thank You,' so Thank You.

Also, on a seasonal note, Happy Single's Awareness Day! SAD for short. :)

Comments:

I didn't like this one. I'm not really quite sure why.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.


	22. Black and White

Chapter Twenty-Two: Black and White 

"Lily, darling, my angel, light of my life… please… don't fret over us. We have to go for now, I can promise you, my darling, we will reunite once more and live your happily ever after," Diane said softly, stroking her daughter's hair and cupping her cheek gently.

Tears came unbidden to her eyes as she felt herself rooted to the spot. They leaked and soaked her mother's precious and delicate hands—those hands that had never seen a single day of rough labour other than with writing from time to time. They were the hands of nobility—hands of someone who never had to work for anyone a single day of her life—and yet, they were the most caring ones for having raised two daughters with the perfect love and perfect temper of the perfect mother.

"Mother… mom… mommy… please… don't leave me! Daddy… you too! You promised to… you promised me you would be there!"

Giving a compassionate look to his daughter, Tristan smiled. "You've always done your best, Lily… that's all we could ever want from you. Our darling daughter…"

Turning his back on her, he looked to his wife and offered up his arm as Diane took it, giving one last kind look at him. Walking away, they never looked back, despite the desperate calls of their beloved daughter.

Slowly, her voice died out, even to her and she stopped shouting their names as she lost sight of them in the distance. Clouds appeared overhead and thunder rolled across the sky, simply daring her to move. Shoulders slumped as she looked to the sky and rain began to fall. The tears in her eyes mixed in with the rain and she could feel its cold embrace wrap around her tightly, ensnaring her in its misery.

Opening her mouth, Lily tasted the very real pain it carried.

Lily woke up screaming, shooting straight up in bed. Her eyes were wide with fear and the sting of it all had come back full force as she started to weep quietly—realizing that it was no dream. Here she was, in her own cold house all alone. Petunia had been released from the hospital the day after her skirmish with Alicia and the boys and was most likely getting preparations done—as the eldest sister of the Evans family.

Loud footsteps were heard approaching her door as it shot open and she flinched slightly at the sight of a dishevelled James Potter—the look on his face one of pure worry. "Lily!"

"James?" she asked curiously.

Imminent dangers over, James sighed and smiled courteously to her. He was dressed fully in a black suit, proper enough for a funeral but not quite as flashy as something you might wear to a wedding—as far as suits came. Extending a hand to her, a gracious look danced upon his face.

Looking away, ignoring his outstretched hand completely, Lily looked out her window. Immediately taking the hint, James retracted his hand. "Lily, try to be brave. No one can possibly… go through such travesties with a smile on their face. Laugh when you want to, cry when you want to," he said quietly before getting up and leaving.

On any other day, Lily would have thrown all cares away to the wind and taken that hand, taken that hand and everything it offered. His hand had offered to pull her out of the cage she had placed herself in—the gold-framed cage with its crystal lock—where everyone could admire her at a distance but never get close enough to pet the bird inside. On any other day, in any other instance, she would have for all she was worth… however; today was not any other day.

No, today was in fact, far from anything ordinary.

Getting up, she sifted through her closet, taking out her black dress and laying it over the back of her chair at her large vanity desk. Upon that desk were all the letters they had sent to her at school—including the least and latest one—the one that had never been able to be sent.

Lily had found it within one of their drawing rooms—specifically the one designed to handle all the mail of the Evans household. While she had been cleaning the house—a chore she had never once had to commit herself to—she had found it, sealed in its envelope with her name printed in neat and tidy cursive that belonged to her mother in scarlet ink.

Scarlet ink.

Lily's first reaction upon seeing the letter from the Ministry was that it was in fact a letter from her parents—and letters like those she cherished and often read in the sanctity of her room alone—not even letting the fact that it may be raining outside get in her way. Within those letters were the thoughts and sentiments of her dear parents who she had been unable to please—those parents she cherished so much and so wished to bring happiness.

Parents whose goals were so much farther up than her own and whose expectations were so much grander than her own and whose disappointment could run so much deeper than her own.

All this for them, and now for no one.

Scarlet ink; not a single letter addressed to Lily was in anything but. However, when she read those terrible words in that terrible scarlet ink, Lily felt like her world had finally shattered and there was nothing she had to mend the damages. There was no glue on this planet that could piece together the wonder and beauty that Lily Evans had been. There was only mask upon mask to hide what had been broken.

After taking a quick shower, Lily donned the dress and put on the large black hat wreathed with black roses and a veil to cover her face. The redness of her hair seemed completely out of place within the despair she seemed to have dressed herself in. The green eyes lacked lustre and the confidence that Lily Evans was admired most for—beyond her beauty and beyond her charm.

Looking at herself in her full-length mirror, she saw the very image of sorrow. Not a single smile would grace her lips today and she feared that tears would be forthcoming—as she could feel the pain and the emptiness of death's cold embrace so near. Leaving her room, she saw Sirius at the bottom of her steps. Vaguely, she wondered why it was him there and not James—the one for who she wished were there instead. However, there were far greater things to fret about than that.

"Lily, your parents would be proud of you," he said quietly in the empty house with such a grace, elegance and sincerity to him that Lily honestly did not know he possessed. Stretching out his hand to her she took it without hesitation as he led her down the last few steps and took her arm to his.

When they got to the door, Lily stopped as he held the door open for her. Glancing at their linked arms, she looked up at the sincere face of Sirius Black. Despite how much she vocally expressed her dislike of him, he was still there. Almost a timeless fact… how he would always be there. Dropping his arm, she smiled graciously and hollowly. "Black, your sentiments are deeply appreciated. You have my thanks, you have cheered me, Sirius Black. Let that be your reward for today."

Sirius only smiled. "Of course, Miss Evans," he said with some of the old mischievousness that she knew so well and learned to reject just as easily as it came.

Stepping out into the snow, she entered a limousine where she could see her sister sitting within through the open and awaiting door. Petunia wore the black dress with grace and had nothing for a hat—for Petunia despised hats and would wear them for no man, woman or creature upon this earth. The envious soft brown hair was done up instead in a mess of curls that looked impossible to comprehend and even worse to mimic. Of the Evans, it was her mother and sister who had the envious soft brown hair—while her bright red locks were acquitted to the full head of luscious red hair that her grandmother on her father's side owned. Neither of her parents were in possession of actual red hair.

Closing the door in her wake, she looked out the window next to her, avoiding eye contact with her sister. Confrontations today would most definitely displease them both.

"Lily… how are you feeling?"

"The reception is to take place soon; I shall not shed a tear. We are Evans, nothing can put a hold on society's expectations. Our reputation will be maintained," she said firmly.

Petunia snorted slightly. "I despise reputations. Cry if you wish. It's time that something other than heaven sees—if on no other date."

Taking this in retrospect, Lily could hear the mixed emotion swirling within her sister and the conflicting resolutions. Lily was a witch with magical capabilities, both things she despised as much as hats; however, Lily was also her sister, something a strong traditional coding within her told her she should love.

One thing was certain to Petunia at this time, however; Lily was most certainly not a hat today.

The second they reached the cemetery and the freshly dug hole that her parents would be lowered into, the events of that moment passed by in a blur. Her face and body moved mechanically on their own, having long ago memorized the proper actions and reactions to many questions, comments or actions by those around her. Faces hardly registered in her mind and she felt as though she were a marionette destined to be pulled along by every jerk of the string.

There was no sincerity within her voice and she showed sorrow where she should and showed faint happiness where she also should. These people reminded her greatly of what she had been neglecting at school—where she had blindly fallen in love with a boy with warm hazel eyes and gentle compelling words. They reminded her of what her position was and should always be.

Her mother was the highest of society, though, and she married a commoner.

What was to become of her legacy?

"My, you poor dear, it must be terribly painful—having to go through this at such an early age. Your mother—bless her soul—would be so very proud of you, my dear."

Lily smiled sadly, nodding her head slightly. "Thank you, Mrs Creed, I appreciate your kind words. I am sure much is the very situation here. My only regret is that I was unable to do anything about any of this."

Mrs Creed's heart seemed to break and she swallowed Lily up in a swift hug. "Darling Lily, my son is a worthy suitor and we would both be more than happy to accept you into the family if you ever find need of a suitor."

Lily acted as though to contemplate the matter and smiled. "I will think upon it."

In fact, both Evans had found immense luck with suitors from all facets of her mother's many circles of friends. Petunia, however, already had her sights set on a pig of a man whom she seemed to love dearly that all the people here did not know. Vernon Dursley was not once introduced to the higher circles of society—Petunia was much too smart and too afraid of the consequences of bringing him to a place even close to the atmosphere of this. Petunia wanted to escape the upper crust and join the peasants so she could mock them and tell them of all she gave up to be with her soon-to-be husband.

Lily felt as though she would never escape it.

"Miss Evans, my condolences to you," said a fine young man, gathering up her hand and kissing it lightly.

Lily only smiled graciously as she saw James restrain Sirius out of the corner of her eye. "Mister Whitfield, my thanks to you," she replied.

"You are the very image of beauty on this sorrowful day. It must be so hard for you—to put up with all this. If you ever need anything, do not hesitate at all to ask."

Matthew Whitfield was the most eligible bachelor there was—everyone knew of the Whitfield name—sometimes more so than the Evans name got around. There was not a single parent who did not once consider Matthew Whitfield a fair and even match for their daughter. Aside from that, the Whitfield's were a wealthy family whose fortune dated back many centuries.

"I will keep your kind gesture in mind, however, at this point in time, I think I shall wish to isolate myself until after the grief of my parent's death has passed, you understand."

"Absolutely. Please come by the manor later this week if you are able, it seems my mother has a few words in mind for you—as she is unable to attend this momentous occasion and I am here on her behalf. She should be due to arrive this Friday."

Lily's eyebrows shot up reflexively. "Christmas day? Well, I shall hope to see her soon after, then."

Matthew smiled. "Perhaps I should try to be a little more straightforward, if you will allow it, Miss Evans. My mother and I both admire you greatly, if you would be so kind as to share our Christmas celebrations with us, we would both be very much obliged."

Nodding slightly, Lily smiled charmingly. "Well, Mr Whitfield, I will see about doing so."

"Pardon me, good sir, I've a word with Miss Evans here."

Lily turned to see James smiling apologetically to her as Sirius strode up to them. Matthew's smile dropped almost instantly and looked towards Sirius. "And you are… of exactly what relation to Miss Lily Evans, might I ask?"

"Kind sir, I am none other than Sirius Black," he said with a carried tone of air and high esteem—as if his name alone should be both feared and revered—as it should. The Blacks—with the exception of Sirius—terrorized the school where he wasn't around—although their social circles never mixed enough—even to bully—to come close to Lily. They could only do but despise her from far away and plot ruinous plans that would never come to fruition.

"Sirius Black?" Matthew repeated with some amount of disgust—although not the same disgust that Lily might express. "Well, Mr Black, I am quite sure your words for Miss Evans can wait, for you have interrupted a conversation that only we are privy to."

Lily could only see dark futures from this encounter and decided it would be best to resolve this matter at the head rather than let it grow and attempt to chase it at its tail. "I apologize, Mr Whitfield, Mr Black, but I cannot spare any more time talking to either of you. I truly hope that the reception was to your liking—for I am sure that my parents have deeply enjoyed it. I must take my leave soon—and, Mr Whitfield, I shall perhaps see you on Christmas day."

Taking her hand again, he kissed it lightly before letting it go. "I look forward to your arrival," he said with candour like no other and turned heel and took off.

Once out of earshot, Sirius turned his attention to Lily—as his was previously scowling upon the back of one Mr Whitfield. "Lily! I am wounded! To think you could ever conspire with that slimy wretched piece of filth. I am shocked and ashamed! Am I honestly being beaten by _that_ scoundrel who knows nothing of you?" he asked with a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Beaten? By him? You silly boy, you could not possibly be beaten for you have long since lost before beginning. There is no hope for you, Black—nor is there much hope for Mr Whitfield. I despise you both and yet you both decide to be constants within my life. I swear you gain your petty pleasures by putting me through misery." Somewhere, in the far reaches of her mind she found it humorous that one slimy wretched piece of filth was calling another that exact same thing.

"Not true at all! My lovely Lily Evans, your happiness is my happiness, honestly."

Lily could do nothing but frown at him. "You toad," she said with a composed air—she had to; childish squabbles would simply not do in this atmosphere. Somewhere along the way she had lost the grace and patience to simply deal with Sirius Black over extended periods of time…

Perhaps because she had somehow fallen in some nameless hole with James Potter.

Turning heel and walking quickly off, Lily was stopped by a hand on her shoulder and she turned to see Petunia with a large and false smile upon her face with red eyes from very real tears. Lily had not cried a single tear yet, but it seemed her sister could not help but feel sorrow.

"Lily… a… a word… please," she said, her bold voice growing quiet.

The look in her eyes was one of such pain Lily took her sister by the hand and pulled her away into the limousine—it was about time they had left anyway. Petunia had no complaints, this reception was a joke anyway—nothing more than another social gathering once their parents were in the ground and everything was said and done. Everyone had moved on.

"Driver, Evans estate; do not tarry," she said promptly, in the same commanding tone of voice her mother had once used on this very same driver.

"Of course, Miss—I mean, Lady Evans."

Lily sighed. It was official now; Lily and Petunia were the living heirs of the Evans estate and manor. It had never felt any more official than now when their driver called her by the distinguished title he had given her. It was such a small courtesy, but it was a painful one to take on.

"Now… Petunia, what would you like?" she asked softly, knowing this to be a delicate matter. Petunia was easy to frustrate and even easier to anger. Thin ice layered the entire lake she subsided on—those who did not know how to tread it carefully fell through and drowned.

Petunia fidgeted a bit before taking Lily's hat off quickly and tossing it to the ground of the limousine and pulling the soundproof window up so their driver could not hear their conversation. Lily and Petunia had often found this feature useful for when their parents had fought from time to time. Despite their love for each other, misunderstandings couldn't help but occur.

"Lily… you seem to have… grown so much. The way you handled all those women… truly… you are… no child. Why… why are you like that? Where is the spoiled and bratty freakish sister I knew and argued with?"

Lily smiled courteously. "Why, Petunia—"

"Stop it!" Lily blinked, unaware of her crime. "Stop smiling so… so falsely! What is the matter with you!? The entire time you were here… I could see you crying and yet you did not show! How is that culture so natural to you when _I_ have lived it more than you have?"

Lily's back arched reflexively and she frowned only slightly. "You do not understand the atmosphere at school then. All the girls—a bunch of squabbling gossips ready to pounce upon any flaw. _I_ am the one they have worshipped, _I_ am the one they model themselves after, _and I_ am the one that they try to be more like. Not the witch on the cover of Witch Weekly, me, Lily Diane Evans! I am surrounded and absorbed by that nonsense every day I am there! Society can give you only so much time to mourn."

The tone and very air of command in her voice froze Petunia. At this moment, it seemed very much so that her sister saw that it was no lie. Lily Evans did many things, but she did not lie. What she spoke now was truth—as much as she despised it—it was truth and she knew that Petunia could see that clearly in her eyes.

Petunia finally turned away from her sister's stark green eyes—eyes that had grown up and seen much more sorrow than she was even aware of. "I—I'm sorry. I don't want any of it anymore. Take the estate. Take it all. I am marrying Vernon Dursley. He will… he's a fine man… he'll take care of me," she said, her voice growing soft—whether from love or sorrow Lily did not know and could not discern. "On the lower end of the scale, but it will be a prompt escape. I will hide myself from society. You flourish so well in it all, you take it! Be worshipped and adored here as you do there. I want no more of these falsities. I want no more of these mannerisms, I want… I don't want any more of this. I want to be like the normal girls," Petunia said softly.

It was here that Lily saw why she thought her own sister so abhorrently freakish and unnatural beyond the magic. Petunia craved to be normal—she did not want to be better than everyone else, she wanted to be normal—to be in the end of society that could only dream of the finer things in life that they received and squabble about everyday miniscule problems—problems that she would never deal with if she stayed here. When this began or if it had simply never ended Lily did not know, but the tears that flowed silently from her sister's eyes as she stared out at the passing scenery was enough.

To be normal… to be like everyone else, how easy would that be? How much easier it would be to be normal. Being unique was a far rougher road to walk, yet it had many more pots of gold at the end than normalcy could ever offer. They were Evans, weren't they raised to strive for uniqueness? Uniqueness so very unique that others admired you terribly for it?

"Then… I will take it. I will… give you your ticket out of this life if you so wish."

Petunia looked quickly back at her sister with a shocked look on her face. "Lily, you hate it too! Why would you do something like this for me!?" Lily looked away and there was a strong moment of silence between them until Petunia could simply not handle it anymore. "Why would you!? What have you to gain!? Why are you so…"

_"You good-for-nothing freak! Can't you do anything right? All you've ever done for this family is mess up! Why don't you just go live with your freakish friends in that unnatural world of yours! We do not want you here! You are a disappointment to mother, to father and especially me! I am ashamed we are of the same blood!"_

"Because you are my sister, Petunia, no more," she said softly once her sister's blood had set to cool from its rage.

Petunia rested her back against the seat of the car. "I see."

Having arrived at the estate, Lily said no more and left the limousine, closing the door behind her as Petunia sat there, comprehending her future. This would be the last thing she did for her family—the last thing that would visibly make them happy if not proud. Happiness was well-achieved for them—easily. Pride… was a rare commodity and not once had their eyes shone with pride in their daughters.

Being Head Girl was an honour of honours and yet it was shrugged off right next to Petunia's accomplishments at being top in her grade. Perfect scores on all her exams did nothing to earn much more status within their eyes.

Diane was a woman of principle and was never happy with the impossible standard set—always impossibly maintaining it herself and yet being a kind mother—and thus always raised it higher. Tristan simply did not think such accomplishments mattered and so they didn't.

Lily wanted nothing more than to please.

And now all she could do was please her sister.

And such a thing was already done at the cost of her own liberties.

Lily Evans had no one left to make happy.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Confusing? Well, confusion makes the heart grow fonder, yes? Wait, isn't that separation? Or is it time?

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm sorry I haven't been updating as of late, stuff got in the way and as much as my life revolves around a computer, other things demanded my attention. There are only twelve, yes, count them, twelve chapters left after this one. RAIN is coming to a close and you can expect to be reading the last chapter before my birthday--a cookie if anyone remembers what day this is. By cookie I mean something special, naturally. Real cookies are impossible to fit through a cable and probably not as tasty. When RAIN is done, I'll have a special treat for you all as well. I've thrown away many ideas during the writing process and have tried in vain to fit many of them in to no avail. That will be--well, you'll just have to wait.

Tsk, I've talked too much.

Comments:

Pop. I only liked the parts a little before the end. By the way, I said 'right next' I mean it along the lines of alongside with--it's near the end-you may miss it. By the way, this chapter and C15 have almost nothing to do with each other if you haven't already noticed. I was just... copped for a title, honestly. On both chapters possibly.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens


	23. Mistletoe

Chapter Twenty-Three: Mistletoe

Every year, on Christmas Eve, the Evans estate has held an annual banquet in good cheer. Only the most exclusive and prim of society were invited. These families were invited as a whole and were written down in a little pocketbook that Diane Evans took great care of and left in the drawing room, updating it nearly every week.

It was a scoring system, a way to see who you should associate with who were not close friends of yours—very few were exempt from this rule and only closer still were family. When their grandparents were still alive, they would all naturally come over during these events—regardless of the Evans state. Family would be invited, always.

This year, however, Lily was left making arrangements for everything as a result of her sister, Petunia, simply running away the day of the funeral. Lily imagined that she would never see Petunia again—especially when her driver came back alone and informed her of what Petunia had done. Along with him came a signed letter from Petunia stating that all shares of the Evans estate would remain with Lily. This was the final word that told Lily that Petunia would never come back.

Finding the actual book with the list of names was definitely easy, however, the last update was fairly old and would have to be redone for the Evans prestige to continue—or else be cancelled completely. The chequebooks had been balanced and all the funds were in order along with the affairs concerning her parents' death, wealth, and estate. All that was left was the Christmas Party to be dealt with—the single most taxing event of the season. Diane would spent countless days extorting herself for this alone—often taking a week or two off work—yet never physically spending that time with anyone other than herself. Lily had only been back for that amount of time and a funeral often absorbs much of your time to pursue other things.

"Evans Christmas Party, hmm? Well, why not cancel it? Is it really such a big prestige to your name if you cancel it the one year that your parents happen to… well; I'm sure they will all be very understanding of the matter."

When such a suggestion was given Lily had merely laughed. This Christmas party was part of the yearly celebration that often lasted well into the night until everyone was forced to leave by the same set time of four o' clock every year. Not a single person who was not family were able to stay on the Christmas Eve Party. Having to host something that late was atrocious enough as it was.

As atrocious as it was to host, it had to be done. Tristan Evans cared very little for societal affairs, however only gave his assent to such a large and extravagant display of wealth to please Diane.

This year, Lily had, after much thought, decided that a party among a few friends would be acceptable enough for society to handle. There would always be next year and all the sociable families would talk of how wonderful the Evans party was regardless of whether they were there or not—regardless of whether the party had existed or not.

Also was her very compromised state of a possible union with one Matthew Whitfield—who himself was a charmer through and through but also carried the air of a distinguished businessman and the senses to go with it. No doubt it would have been a match that would have made her parents happy and she would be more than happy to oblige to them—however, they were no longer here to decide such frivolous things like who she should marry.

These were now solely up to her.

"Evans, I have to say, for all that snoot and length you stick that pretty little nose up in the air for, your parties are the bloody best!" This comment, of course, came from a drunk Terry Johnson—the same Terry Johnson who had a crush on her within the past two years only to be scared into defeat by Sirius Black. Sirius had decided to devote himself completely to her since then—swearing off any other girls and having no eyes for any other until she agreed to be his—at which point a marriage was soon to be forthcoming.

Pursing her lips at his crude and vulgar speech, she sighed. Word had somehow gotten around she was throwing a party and everyone had decided to come by.

As such, various commodities from the wizarding world had been brought and Lily had to swear off those detestable Bertie Bott's in favour of reasonably flavoured muggle jelly beans. It was enough for her that someone brought chocolate frogs and simply let them loose—at which point James rounded them up and returned them to their now very sealed box. Lily was never much for chocolate that moved let alone croaked.

"Thank you, Johnson, your… compliment is appreciated," she said with no small air of distaste as she stepped around him as to avoid his throwing up on her. Lily had given the servants the week of Christmas off to do whatever they wished in their own wing of the Evans estate—thus giving her friends the entire ballroom to do whatever they pleased. All other doors of the house and certain wings were spell-locked with the most advanced locking spell Lily knew.

In fact, she was most prideful about the fact that even the esteemed Marauders failed to open her locks without great combined efforts. This was, she was assured, no small feat to accomplish as they made good on their word when they said they were capable of opening any lock man or witch alike.

"Mr Lupin, enjoying yourself much? You don't seem to enjoy the crowds here," she observed, approaching the reserved individual who was simply absorbing everything around him as he drank punch in a corner. "Not up to any brash antics, now are you? If my house becomes a mess—"

"Fear not, lovely Lily, the only trouble you have to look out for tonight by Marauder hands won't come from mine. I have no intention of destroying your otherwise delightful Christmas party. Are you enjoying it yourself?"

Lily found herself wondering why an individual like Remus Lupin was not with higher circles at school—given his obviously higher class of speech. The blunt, rude and above all crude Remus Lupin she had originally met was nothing like this individual—who now resembled the epitome of class and style. Having already met two out of the restrictive number of four, Lily found herself not overly shocked at this inane switch in personalities. James did much the same thing; as did Sirius.

Where Marauder was concerned, grace and poise was nowhere to be found.

"I am the hostess, I should hope I am," she replied as cordially as she could. Such subtle injustices to the Evans name would not be taken with a light tongue—especially not to the Lady of this house. "I am glad that you are at least appearing to enjoy yourself, Mr Lupin, I would not be very appreciative of any antics that your ragtag band is privy to."

Remus smiled smoothly and she noted that it was something that one could much compare to fine wine of sorts—the kinds that were sweet but left bitter tastes in your mouth if you decided to defect away for any period of time. It was the kind of smile that Lily had seen on Sirius from time to time and cautioned herself against.

"Worry not, lovely Lily, you have no fear for ruin as our fourth counterpart is unable to attend our gracious hostess' gracious celebration of the season. My dear, you have absolutely _nothing_ to fear from the Marauders tonight. However, you and you alone, Miss Lily, are privy to a… gathering you could say of our collective efforts to run amok later on in this fair night from a fine and fair day."

This in no way was subtle or any variation of it regardless of his voice relaying a matter of utmost urgency and secrecy. Fine wine had changed to solid liquor in, it seemed, nothing flat. Trivialities and the fact of the matter were completely separate things to all Marauders, as the case seemed to be. Remus Lupin did not dilly-dally around the neutral zones to cross to deeper secrets, rather it seemed he had a tunnel to do much the same—avoiding many land mines in the process.

James and Sirius were much the same way. Both cared little for the in-betweens and much preferred getting to the heart of the matter within a conversation and extricating whatever they needed in order to bring the conversation to a much closer end. Despite how much Sirius' tongue wagged every now and then, during excursions with the Marauders she realized there was a defined dislike of almost all conversation—deep and light alike.

"I shall not. I will not aid or abet in such vile acts that may protrude forth from your crude imaginations this night. It truly makes me wonder why you all simply can't be the refined boys you all should be," she remarked sharply.

Remus raised an eyebrow high in the eye, leaning back further into the plush couch. "My darling, we are _all_ very much so refined. Perhaps _you_ are simply much too _blinded_ by such a daunting secret to see it. Why, look over there at your sweetheart Sirius—is that not the face and grace of a true gentleman—exhibiting his gallantly charms to one Miss Emily Richardson? And over there is dear James—the perfect image of everything that defines _refined_ in your good and gracious books, Miss Evans. And also, aren't you and I both here engaging in a very unnecessarily _formal_ conversation? Honestly, my good woman, regular people of the witching world surely do not speak as we."

Lily pointedly chose to ignore the unasked for comment about Sirius.

Pursing her lips, Lily frowned royally at this boy. He was refined, yes, but he cared so very little of the higher society that he lived and could thrive so well within. It was just like all of them. Sirius didn't even really care—and it was that uncaring which brought him to such circles in the first place. She, in fact, was much too ingrained in the use of such speech that the differences were either few or might as well be different languages altogether were they not made from the same set of letters.

"Speak as we?" she repeated, slightly aghast. "Mr Lupin, as refined you may be, your regard for the finer status within society is… less than wanting. Now I realize fully that it is not a wonder that cream is always separated from rubbish below it. I thank you for painting that so very clearly to me, Mr Lupin, my sentiments to you," she said curtly and icily before getting up to leave, turning her eyes away from that crude smirk so very plastered to his face.

"My, my, that manner will get you nowhere with me, Miss Evans."

Aghast at the ridiculous insinuation of it all—of something that was in reply to something much greater than what she had ever or would ever consider saying—she halted and turned back to stare at him, sitting back down promptly in the chair. "Lupin, you absurd fool. I have no want of you and certainly no want of 'getting anywhere' with you. The only place I would want to 'get' with you is more than likely 'away.'"

Remus simply smiled a charming smile that could coax a fox out of hiding. "My darling, darling, Lily Evans, your temperament alone is quite enamouring, it is not a wonder why so many misguided fools have become so… interested, shall we say, in your general well-being. You are quite charming up close. Honestly, you are. More effectively so when you speak your mind. This game you play, of Kings and Queens, you are very good at it and I deem you enjoy it very much."

"You are wrong!" And before she could even hope to think about her actions or her words, they had come out of her mouth and were there—as plain as a blue sky for him to see. Thankfully many of her guests had already paid their condolences and season's good cheer to her and left the vicinity of the Evans estate with an escort by one of her maids who stayed behind. There were only a few who glanced over and raised a curious eyebrow at the going ons of one Lily Evans and Remus Lupin.

Whatever conclusions they made were well-founded by their judge of her flushness of face and quickness of manner.

It was unfathomable as to how this boy could say precisely what she would find most distasteful—as it was apparent on his face that such a result was his desired effect as he clasped his hands together comfortably. That sly smile on his face was one of temptation—of a charm that Lily was unfamiliar with and was taken off-guard by—something she had failed to see and—because of that—something she realized she liked about this boy.

The quiet, reserved, tasteful, intelligent and charming Remus Lupin had become, officially, someone that Lily Evans _fancied_ right then and there. It would take miracle for everyone to think otherwise as she realized that her face must have been Christmas red from the embarrassment of it all.

Leaning forward, Lily saw the eyes of a wolf glimmering on the face of a predator. This was an unfamiliar face of this boy she could not quite place—something that was real and yet unreal. Clasping his hands together under his chin, his sand blonde hair fell around his face in perfect, even cuts. The backgrounds of Remus Lupin were a mystery to her, but she assumed that he was from a fine family that could be well-placed in the higher circles.

Glancing around quickly, she calmed herself down a bit and caught the staring eyes of both James and Sirius. Sitting down correctly, she rethought her approach to this boy and instead smiled a courteous smile. "Mr Lupin, that is to say, Remus, I believe your conclusions about me are very wrong."

His eyes did not waver and neither did his manner. Cold, fearless, daunting eyes stared right back at her and despite her expert ability to mask any reaction to this, she could feel it chill her soul—how someone could have eyes like that she did not know. Through a person's eyes were the doorway to their innermost soul and being.

"I believe every assumption I have about you, Miss Lily, is correct. What have you to say to that? My, how beautiful you look in the pale of the moonlight… as beautiful as the full moon itself that is due to arrive in but a few nights," he said, his voice growing softer yet his eyes remaining stolid.

It was a challenge, a declared affront to her very being—and despite how much he teetered away from the rules that had been set and laid down with iron chains—she would succeed. This boy, who was no less graceful and charming than herself, would not gain anything on the untouchable queen.

Letting out a hollow laugh, she stared back at him with predatory eyes, matching his stare with her own. "You are very confused, I believe, Mr Lupin," she said with declared authority and dignity—knowing that every eye was elsewhere but every ear was trained on them. "I have no want or will of you or of—"

"I did not say I was after you, my dear," he said quickly, leaning back into the plush chair, his eyes gaining a softer look—a more civilized look. "You come to very quick conclusions yourself, Miss Evans. I believe I have dithered here long enough, my thanks to you as my gracious hostess and bid you a fine Eve and farewell," he concluded, standing up, taking the opportunity to kiss the hand of one very shocked Lily Evans before walking off.

Following him with her eyes, she frowned only slightly at his backside before glancing out the window at the moon which would surely reach its zenith by tomorrow night—Christmas Day. Taking a sip from her nearby cup of wine, she leaned back into the plush velvet chair and frowned, realizing what had just transpired was more scandalous than anything anyone had ever done in the history of Hogwarts.

No one would ever say anything about the recent events until tomorrow anyway. News like this would surely circulate around the school within hours and Lily had no means of rectifying this so very direct threat to her crown and title. To be sure, returning to Hogwarts would most definitely be a trying time for her if she were to keep her status—to have the admiration of everyone. For everyone to want her, or want to be like her. It was an addicting thing—something that made her unhappy to have, but unbearable to not have.

"My darling, darling, Lily Evans, fear not, I'll never let that cod take you away from my sights."

The voice was most certainly familiar, but the words were not. Turning, she saw the smiling face of Alicia Rose—who sat down opposite her in the spot that Remus sat in only a few moments ago. The look on her face was kind and sincere—both things that Lily was unfamiliar enough with that they were a complete mystery to her—something she could not discern. The intentions of a close friend were never much her forte—especially after going through such a trying incident.

Giving a questionable look to her friend, Lily took another sip of her wine. She did not take alcohol very well, as by the second or third cup she would often become more aggressive and quick to temper. "You are very cheerful tonight, Alicia," she said simply—her mood already disrupted for the evening.

Raising her eyebrows up, she deftly snatched away the wine glass from her friend and set it down on the table in front of her without spilling a drop of it. Alicia rose was an expert with her hands—as such she was both Chaser and backup Seeker for her team. Regardless of which position she played, she was marvellous at it. Among those, she was also very skilful with the needle and sewed as a hobby away from school—an acceptable hobby for a fine lady. However, the Rose family chose to live in the muggle world, away from all things magical—for what reasons Lily never dared ask.

"Definitely enough for you tonight, my dear. Now, what's the matter? What's gotten your feathers ruffled so very much? You're like… like… my, even I don't know how to describe you as you are now, love."

Alicia had also been very masterful with her way of words as well. Such an exclamation as this coming from her meant that the situation was very strange indeed.

"I do not fancy Remus Lupin, if this is where the conversation will go," she said sternly and plainly.

A sly smile crossed her face. "Of course not, Lily. You fancy Black, don't you? Well, I understand the situation very well. There's only one way around this entire fiasco," she said frankly.

Frowning, Lily could already tell she would not enjoy the direction that she was taking this. The fact that she had come immediately after that incident was proof enough that past actions would quickly begin to show their ill effects soon enough.

"What would you have in mind, Rose?"

Smiling, Alicia looked away. "Take the boy, as he is. It is probably sooner than you want, but… right now, that's your only option. I'm sure he will be overjoyed at this himself. They are close friends, Lupin and Black; nothing will come of this event if you do. Sirius will make sure of that."

It was now Lily's turn to look away. Such a suggestion was much too paramount to something she didn't want to do. What would James say? Would he care? Would he even bother to say something? Was she more than a friend to him?

What would he do?

Maybe something.

Probably nothing.

"Well, I didn't need someone to tell me that. The fact of the matter is, Rose, he is the only _acceptable_ match for me. No one else will do and that is what sickens me about the entirety of the situation. This boy is the only one who will do and yet he will not do. Maybe I am just one of those that are forever to have nothing but loneliness."

The sly smile dropped from Alicia's face and a stoic look of concern quickly replaced it. Within that statement were mentions of more than just Sirius Black. "Lily…" she called out softly. That voice was the voice of a mother and Lily realized that, truly, she was not like others. Not like Alicia—who could have the smartest mouth around yet still be able to form the moral support needed from a friend.

Proof enough for Lily Evans that Alicia Rose would make a wonderful mother.

"Sometimes… to expect more of this world is foolish. I am fortunate, for I have Sean, however… some of us must merely accept those around us for all they are. Once we do, it's not long before we realize that we never wanted them to change or be better than they already are. Everyone needs someone; no one is doomed to being alone. Loneliness is a cruel fate I wouldn't wish on anyone."

Getting to her feet, Alicia once again wore that same old smile on her face. Rose knew there was very little she could do for her friend—as close as they were—there was almost nothing more she could do for Lily other than let her stand on her own two feet and decide things for her own. Close friendships like these were hard to come by and few people ever had them.

Touching her shoulder as she left, she leaned over. "More than anything, be happy, love. Be happy, Lily."

It was a mystery to her what happened next, until she decidedly stood up from her seat to see off the last of her visitors until it was down merely to James, Sirius and Alicia—who was already on her way out the door with Sean Patil. Lily frowned at how Alicia had simply abandoned her with nothing more than sweet lies and cryptic melodies. Oft times standing on one's own feet meant that you would always trip over your own faults as well. To say Lily Evans had none were fabricated rumours; like polish to her perfect image.

Getting up herself, from the plush leather couch that had been of the finest import, Lily walked over to stand by the archway, like she had done many times before when being brought home from out of the rain by Petunia. Her father never came for her, her mother never came for her—it was always Petunia and it was always out of spite or hatred—possibly both.

Mistletoe hung right above the archway and Lily looked at it stoically before standing right underneath it and imagining a perfect image of James Potter in front of her. Looking around, she saw no one and realized quickly that the last two of her house guests were probably wreaking havoc about and around her house—since they had escaped her astute vision for the past half hour.

James was much taller than her, yet she could see perfectly well how he might fit around her like a glove would a hand. A perfect match, she imagined. However, perfect matches were more than Lily Evans deemed herself necessary to. To be one half of a whole was less than being perfect as one. Closing her eyes, she raised her face to the mistletoe.

"Loneliness… a cruel fate…"

"Miss Evans, you are looking forlorn and lost this evening."

Lily quickly turned—torn away from her reverie and looking quite the fish out of water as she stared into the eyes of Sirius Black as he took steps to come closer to her person. Turning away, she frowned, not looking at him, fearing that she would throw up all her single cup of alcohol consumed for the night during and after her unpleasant conversation with Remus Lupin.

"You are still in my house, Mr Black, how bold and naïve of you," she said pointedly. A quarrel with this boy was too much for her tonight—far too much for her to handle where facades and masks were gone—in her house where she played the role of a joker in a game of cards. Jokers most often had no roles in any game and were thus tossed aside.

Lily was such a joker.

Sirius touched her shoulder gently and Lily closed her eyes, feeling that such actions at this moment were far too much for her senses and tears would soon spill forth to create a shambled image of herself. Sirius wouldn't care, however, for he was far too oblivious to the existence of anyone else other than her at school. Names of other girls even escaped his memory at times—such a feat was apparent in every which way.

"Bold? Perhaps. But I would think that you are, yourself, also bold, Miss Evans, to stand under this sprig of fairly festive green so very alone."

Smiling slightly, Lily could tell that this approach was different than that of those he put on for show. As charming and as public a person Sirius Black was, even his greatest accomplishments occurred only in secret and in secret was where his true intentions lie. Such intentions became very apparent and very true as he touched her other shoulder, slowly closing the gap in their persons.

Looking down, not halting him in any way shape or form, Lily could feel the tears start to leak out—however, before they fell completely, she felt them whisked away off her face as she found herself staring into the concerned face of Sirius Black.

"Forever and always, Lily Evans, be happy."

Feeling her dour mood cheered slightly by this boy who she had decidedly come to despise less, Lily smiled. "My thanks to you."

Perhaps this worthless boy was not as worthless as he seemed, as even a little value could be placed on gold in the face of diamonds. Sirius Black was no diamond, however, at this moment, with nothing less than exceeding charm and devilishly good looks, he could fool anyone into believing so. To think of this boy as anything less than scum beneath her heel had been a very reassuring reality in her life until that boy, James Potter, had seemed to walk into it of his own accord and start to find hidden keys, passageways, mirrors and images of nothing less than imperfect glass.

"Lily, you are… as radiant as always. You set my blood on fire, love," he said suavely in his most sophisticated and alluring manner. There was not a touch of alcohol on his breath and Lily found this most admirable—either that or Sirius Black drank and lied about it.

Smiling at him, Lily quirked an eyebrow. "Charming as ever, Black, will you never learn?"

"Learn? What more have I to learn when all I want to _know_ is the love and adoration of Lily Evans?" he said even quieter.

"A tragedy that will never come to pass."

Smiling, he placed a hand upon her chin. "Well, God bless Mistletoe, for this moment then," he said as he kissed her.

A shock ran through Lily's system and her eyes widened and were eventually lulled closed. It felt so natural to be there—felt so right—felt so _as it should be_ but it was far from what she felt she wanted. It was what should happen right? Lily Evans and Sirius Black, come back from the holidays to rule the school in unison and be admired by all—holding an even more solid reign. Wasn't that how it was supposed to work?

Wasn't the princess always supposed to fall in love with the prince?

Pushing him away, Lily let go of the compromising situation underneath the mistletoe and shook her head, feeling her face flush at the rush of it all. "Black…. Sirius, I can't. At least, not now… it's much too… too… so very… not right. Forgive me; and for once, I mean it."

Sirius only smiled and bowed to her, taking her hand and kissing it as he knelt to the ground. "Very well, love. As long as you are mine, I shall wait for all of time for you to be ready. I won't apologize for that though simply because it is unfinished. Farewell and good night, Lady Evans," he said as he got up and bowed, kissing her hand once more before taking off.

Lily waited until she heard the door close behind him before running away up to her room. Rummaging through her drawers she pulled out a sheet of parchment with quick but neat writing that only showed the slightest hint at her frustrated state at the time of composition.

Hugging it close to her she started to cry. "James… I love James! Not that vile creature! James… I… I love _you_."

Now, more than ever, she had regretted what she had unlawfully done.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

messyblackhair66: Flowery? Yes, yes it is. You could say that. In real life? Not only can I imagine it, I have seen it. It's intentionally like that, I assure you. I am trying to get the point across that they are abnormally formal. I know I would talk certain ways with certain people than others--we're all like that. Remember also that she was very much raised in that sort of atmosphere. I don't mean to offend you by being very direct about it, but I realize you want something of a response. In addition, thank you very much for your continued interest in RAIN, I very much appreciate the time you take to read and review it. It makes me very happy to know I've created something you enjoy!

one-sirius-niece: Well, I may seem bit of a jerk to put it all the way in this chapter, but that's all I can do without mucking up everything in between. Anyway, thanks a lot! I love reading long reviews! Make them longer:P

I swear, you're all amazing. I, personally, lack the attention span to read very many stories much less review for nearly every chapter. So, in short, you're all much better than I am at it.

Comments:

AAAHH! No! She didn't! Er... he didn't... well... oh, look at that, I confuse myself. Common occurrence lately. Somebody kissed somebody and somebody... brr. I'll stop right there.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.


	24. Good Tidings

Chapter Twenty-Four: Good Tidings

Christmas morning.

Lily stirred from her slumber with the ill effects of her drinking and inadequacy of holding in anything with the contents of liquor in any amount. Both of her parents were merely social drinkers and even then would often sleep to noon the day after simply in bed for the after-effects. Lily knew that she was much the same; Alicia Rose knew just as well the moment she had taken down her first cup of an alcoholic beverage. Past that Lily swore to never touch it in any way shape or form ever again.

Well, except on rare occasions such as these.

Finally able to stir herself enough and fight back an incredible urge to simply toss everything of nothing up into the nearest drainage facility, Lily threw the covers of her bed off her and threw the blinds to her window open. Alicia Rose had, naturally, offered—as in, very much forcefully suggested—Lily a place to stay with family and friends of her own for Christmas morning, however, in the end, Lily was the ultimate proponent to being simply alone for today.

After all, alone, she felt, would be her only company for the rest of forever.

Closing her eyes at the sharp glare of sunlight reflecting off the untouched snow in the garden below, Lily quickly shut the blinds—after the light sear her senses—once more and turned back around, heading into the bathroom and making preparations to be ready for an entire day of nothing. With no family and no friends at her doorstep or in her home, Lily was prepared to simply sit and drink tea all day long while she attempt to forget how very much alone she was—and how she would never again see her parents—or possibly her only sister—ever again.

It also became very prominent fact to her how much more of an eligible catch she had become for a suitor within the circles that her mother left her behind in. Acquaintances would have to be kept on her own and the Evans name would have to keep up appearances lest it die out and simply be forgotten by one and all. Consequences like that, Lily knew, would surely be displeasing to her family regardless of where they were at this moment.

Upon getting ready, dressing in all her best whites and blues for winter, she left her room and came down the stairs to hear knocking assaulting her door. It was as if the person on the other side of the wood believed, if they knocked harder and faster, a quicker response would be met. It was similar logic in that if you spoke slower English, someone who never heard a word of it would understand.

Swinging the door open, Lily saw a group of three she had possibly but never expected. Upon her doorstep and under the archway of green branches, stood James Potter, Sirius Black and Alicia Rose. Lily simply raised a questionable eyebrow to them all. They were not her family, they were even hardly acquainted in the proper manner—except for Alicia—to make such an unasked for house call. The situation, as it happened, appeared to Lily as if they were psychiatrists coming to aid a terminal patient who was terminal by her own particular choice.

Lily scoffed, as she was, in no way, terminal.

"What are you lot doing here?" she asked formally, well aware of her foul mood and fair disposition. "Don't you all have families to be attending to?"

Alicia sighed incredulously, as if her good-willed charity work was going unappreciated, which, for the majority of it, it was. "Heavens, Evans, we have _done_ our duties to our families. If anything you should be blaming this boy here for dragging us all out," she said, vaguely pointing in the direction of both Sirius and James—making the distinction of _which_ particular boy decided to rally a house call together rather indistinguishable. "Besides, I find you rather fetching company, love."

"As do—"

"Quiet, Black, I told you not to speak unless spoken to. Honestly, she wasn't joking when Miss Lily said you were synonymous to a child."

"Pardon me, but—"

"Evans doesn't say much that she doesn't mean," James cut off at the head.

Sighing, Alicia continued on, with her most charming smile ever—a charming smile that Lily saw completely through. She may be as transparent as glass herself to this girl, but there were rare occasions that Lily saw through the scheme and wiles of Alicia Rose—as chaotic and erratic and nonsensical as they came. "Anyway, Lily, we wanted to—"

"I am not a charity case and I refuse to be treated as such. Do not mistake me, Rose, I understand completely what you are trying to get at. My grief is over; they died a good while ago. The fact that the funeral was so uncharacteristically delayed was out of request until at least the holidays. I have coped well enough. I now have no parents, nor a sister. Do not think for a moment I need your _pity_."

Alicia's eyes flashed with momentary anger before they softened slightly. Lily had fully realized the impact of the words she said. They were uncharacteristic of her—completely. However, dealing with death was also uncharacteristic of her as well. The fact of the matter was that Lily was miserable and simply endeared to its company by this point in the game. Masks were for show outside the home—all Lily felt like doing was trying to piece together the broken shards of glass that were her perfect image. Amendments would have to be made, hundreds of letters would be written. The untouchable legacy that was Lily Evans would continue—more for the fairy tale rather than anything she dearly wanted. Fairy tales never died, that's what they were intended for—to be something impossible. People were drawn to impossible things and as such they were drawn to one Lily Evans.

"Are you too good for human company within so large and unpopulated a house then?"

Both James and Sirius looked at Alicia incredulously. It was true enough that Lily's cold temper was uncalled for; however, allowances would have normally been made. Ordeals were ordeals and friendships were often those that supported one in times of ordeal.

"Too good? I simply do not need pity. I have not fallen so far as to need pity."

Alicia arched her eyebrows. "Well, I see then. I was not about to offer you any pity anyway, Evans. I've known you far too long to let you simply suffer alone, though."

Lily smiled at her sadly. "Well, that is simply just the case now, isn't it? I am always alone, Rose, so why should I not suffer alone as well? Now, please leave before either you or I utter something we shall regret terribly. I apologize for my earlier comments. If you don't wish to leave… well, I can't very well force you."

Turning on her heel, she left them at the door, instead making her way out through the expansive, empty, cold mansion and to the backyard. The Evans had two homes, the estate was more or less for entertainment purposes—in reality, they owned a separate house of far less grandeur to live and work. Tristan was opposed to living on the estate and thus bought a nearby house instead. Diane moved into the smaller house shortly after.

"I suppose… I suppose I shall leave then. Please accept my apologies, Lily Evans."

Lily stopped in her tracks, fearing to turn around but feeling that she should, at least, look at the face of her friend who would surely be looking utterly miserable. "What have you to be sorry for, Rose?"

"That I am an inadequate friend to you," she said firmly before turning on her own to leave the estate.

Sirius looked from Alicia to Lily—as did James, both boys unsure of what to do or say. A reaction like this was hardly what they had expected out of either of them. Both of them knew that coping one but not the other would be irritable to both. There was also the alternative of aiding neither and rather choosing to be a neutral party. That was simply morally unacceptable to them both.

The impact of her cold words hit Lily like a speeding train, and only did she realize it when she reflexively pursed her lips and felt regret hit her at the impossible speed of light. Morality and friendship told her that she needed to speak with Rose, to assess the current situation and handle with care, however, her pride was far too stubborn a roadblock to allow her feet the free movement anywhere but back around, up the stairs and into her room.

Closing the door behind her, Lily opened the glass windows to her balcony and dusted off the snow from the bench. The glass doors lay open behind her—it was of no consequence. She was the only one in the large mansion—absolutely alone, on Christmas Day. If the house became cold because she had let the heat out, it would just be that the Evans estate would be below freezing that day.

A light knock on the door told her that someone had stayed behind; to, perhaps, deal with the situation and pity Lily even more. Pride would not allow her to apologize properly to Rose, and thus Pride would not allow her to be comforted by whoever was behind that door, waiting to comfort her with nothing but surely failed attempts. Not responding to the call, the person let themselves in and Lily closed her eyes, not wanting to see the face of Sirius Black—for whom it must be. No doubt he would have told James about that kiss last night.

It was ten steps forward in the right direction, after all.

"You may leave, Black," she said coldly, wanting nothing but misery at her side.

The person did not move or even speak and, for a few precious moments, Lily wondered if she had imagined someone coming in. Opening her eyes, she looked to her left and saw James Potter, simply staring out at the untouched snow covered dead garden below them.

"Are they yours?" he asked simply.

Frowning at him in confusion, not entirely sure what this boy was getting at, Lily felt the need to satisfy her curiosity. "Mine?"

"These flowers, this garden; are they yours?" he repeated.

Lily followed those hazel eyes and looked down at the many dead rose bushes and flowers below her. An ivy-covered arch lay over the paths which divided each section of the small maze-like garden. It was more a plot of three-by-three squares that were hedged all around with only two entrances. This garden was one of Lily's favourite places to sit in the rain, from the very middle of the garden, no one could see her except from her room—as she locked both gates which led to the other courtyards upon the estate. As a child, Lily would wear the key around her neck at all times—thus, if they were staying at the estate, she would often fall asleep outside in the rain and wake up with a severe headache and illness in the morning.

The only other person who had a copy of the key to her garden was Petunia—who later returned it at the event of her acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Petunia would always make sure to come in and carry Lily back to her room in the middle of the night back then—for they were beside each other in accommodations within the mansion at the time. These flowers and this garden with the fountain in the corner were, yes, hers. They were her umbrella in the rain when every drop fell from the sky and told her that she was inadequate. This garden was her lakeside spot at Hogwarts.

"Yes. I spent much of my early childhood here. The gates are locked and only Petunia and I have the keys. Later on it became only me and the head maid."

"It is wonderful," he said simply. It was so simple and so charming that Lily could feel her body simply heat up from the compliment of it all. It was unfathomable how wonderful this boy could be.

Realizing that her stare must affect him in the least bit, she averted her gaze away from those charming hazel eyes. "It is snow-covered and anything but wonderful, James Potter," she replied factually. There was an impossible chance he would know what this delicate haven was at the peak of its bloom.

A smile crossed his face. This smile was not one of a Marauder, or of Sirius Black's best friend or of any other person than James Potter. "Of course it is wonderful, Lily Evans, because you are the one who has poured your heart into this garden. Regardless of how long ago, it is still wonderful."

Touching words from a touching boy, she thought.

A moment of silence fell upon them before the urge to ask tugged at Lily at the corner of her mouth. This boy seemed to have come here on his own with no apparent motive—and if there was a motive it was well-hidden with all this talk of her 'wonderful' garden that only bloomed during the fairer months.

"Are you not here to pity me? To console me? To _talk_ with me?" she emphasized, insinuating that he might want to be her 'shoulder' that she would hypothetically cry upon. In her mind's eye of herself, she knew that she could be stronger than that, that she would be stronger than that; however, her heart dictated that she didn't want to be. Her heart told her that all she wanted to be was a little girl upon her mother's lap or in her father's arms.

James turned to Lily with an incredulous smile upon his face. "Pity you? I would _never_ in all of eternity _pity_ Lily Evans, not the one beside me at least. I, in fact, _pity_ all the Lily Evans of the world other for they pale in comparison to the Lily Evans beside me. As for speaking with you, I am speaking to you right now, am I not?"

Turning away, Lily looked to the next balcony over—Petunia's. "You flatter me, James, but I am hardly that great."

"Untouchable Lily Evans, admired by all, loved by all; the most popular girl at school and top of her class in everything but Transfigurations—which I know for a fact she is miserable at," he added quickly, tacking his words onto one another as if they would never get out. "Of course you are that great, Lils, how many Lily Evans in this world can say they have or can achieve what you have achieved? They will have to work for all their lives to catch up with you as you are now—and even then they shall never fully run side by side with you for you are far too ahead of them all."

Smiling at this, Lily leaned back into the bench and stared back into his hazel eyes. "I see now, you silly boy, you are here to flatter me senseless and no more, is that right?"

James laughed. "Naturally. What else am I to do in the presence of royalty in her own mansion?"

Sighing, she shook her head. "James…"

"Aside from that, I believe you are free—since your plans were to simply sit here and be miserable for the rest of the holidays—thus you will be attending my family's Christmas dinner."

It felt like someone had thrown cold water over her and a cold wind had started blowing, chilling her to her core. Turning sharply to him, she regarded him without petty eyes and without love-blinded eyes either. To ask such a thing… what could this boy want? Perhaps he considered her more than she simply was to him. There was nothing to be had upon his face about this circumstance and Lily felt wary. Social instincts were honed astutely within Lily and she was perceptive of every wrong move to make within society.

Fiona Wethersett had simply flown to her crown and throne by her personality, wit, charm and grace. Lily had come upon the same conclusion with the adoration of the school.

"I will _be_ attending? Should you not be _asking_ whether I will attend or not as precursor, James Potter, before making silly assumptions?"

"Well, do you decline?" he asked simply.

Of course not.

Never.

Not in a million years.

"Well… no, I have no reason to decline, that is," she added quickly.

James grinned. "Splendid, then you will be attending."

"I should visit Matthew—or at least his mother, however. I had been so graciously invited and I imagine they are expecting me." This was not so much imagination on Lily's part as it was evidence piled up by her telephone for when the maids had taken messages for her. Nearly eight or nine notes had been placed neatly upon her desk. Normally, the maids did not attend to the needs of the estate, however, alone and on her own; Lily realized that she wanted them around now that her family was not here to serve that purpose.

Raising a curious eyebrow, as if he were questioning her motives, James turned away. "I see. Will you still be attending then?"

The most likely outcome, Lily knew, would be that his mother will ask her to stay for dinner—as Matthew would no doubt talk up his mother's turkey—that would, undoubtedly, be made by their chef. Dinner would be a bland affair; Matthew would compliment Lily, his mother would compliment Lily, and his sister would make bold suggestions at what wonderful sisters they would be, at which point Matthew would hush her up and his mother would smile approvingly. Worst of all would be their father, who would simply talk business with her about how well the Evans and Whitfield name would sound together—assuring Lily that she would be allowed to keep her maiden name due to circumstances.

Their entire family, in short, was plotting for a marriage.

Had Diane Ross not fell in love with Tristan Evans, an arranged marriage between Lily and Matthew would have been a sure thing. However, Lily did not trust sure things in any way shape or form—especially if they took the form of one Matthew Whitfield, whose charm and grace was as detestable as a Dementor and cunning was as shrewd as a fox. Lily was not about to be boxed in with the likes of a snake.

Regardless, the Whitfields were the largest business partners with the Evans, and thus an appearance was mandatory since she could not host them herself.

"I will see. They are expecting me and I cannot ignore the matter any longer."

Getting up, James dusted the snow off himself from sitting on the snowy bench. "I shall see you soon, then, I hope. My mother makes a charming foul—hired help not included."

Lily smiled. "Naturally. Well, I will see you later, then."

"Possibly," he said simply before leaving her alone, closing the bedroom door behind him.

Snow started to fall and Lily sighed, watching as her warm breath disappeared into wisps. Lily had vaguely realized, somewhere unconsciously, that she had not received any of her usual presents this year. There were no gifts to unwrap for herself—no doubt that there would have been if unpleasant events had not happened. For a girl who had much of everything, what was there to give? The lack of presents did not halt Lily; however, Christmas was much more important than silly presents.

It was the social highlight of the year—the very end of the year. People were made or broken during these events. Lily had never fully enjoyed the Christmas season—it had only become a busier time of the year for her as she became older. More acquaintances were made and had to be kept, letters had to be written—and not simply by her mother on her behalf. Events had to be attended, things had to be planned and organized, and charity donations had to be monitored.

There had never been a time that Lily had been invited over for dinner simply because.

Simply because James Potters did not exist within her world of high theatrics and even higher formalities.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

one-sirius-niece: British? Amazingly enough, no I am not. Just good old Queen's English here is all.

I'm terrible for making you all wait for our lovely stars to make certain connections, aren't I?

You are all absolutely AMAZING! AMAZING! So, yes, we are coming to a close on RAIN, not an immediate one, but it is looking to have a conclusion soon. I'm currently fiddling around with the final chapters. They are not quite shaping up how I want them to. I'm going for dramatic and striking but it's giving me frail and limp. Things are going awry and I dislike awry. Remember, we're only on C24 right now, there's another ten or so to go.

My apologies, this came out two days later than I had planned. Things and work got in the way.

Comments:

Dinner! Dinner! Yes, yes, ring the bell! I think, my personal favourite line, was the very last. That is definitely one of my favourite moments.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.


	25. Allusions to Nothing Less

Chapter Twenty-Five: Allusions to Nothing Less

"Yes, of course… dancing? Not a problem, Mrs Whitfield. Naturally, I look forward to it. What? Yes, of course. Oh my, that's much too kind, I could not possibly—well, if you insist, I suppose. I shall see you tonight then—oh? He will? I see. I will be waiting at the estate then. Farewell."

Hanging up the phone, Lily sighed. The Whitfields had taken extreme honour in her choice to arrive—having already prepared everything days before. By the sound of it, their ballroom had been rebuffed, shined, the chandeliers were lit and replaced, new paintings were hung up and tables were redone. The only other family that made personal grievances to live within a proper mansion other than the Evans were the Whitfields—long time business partners as well as rivals. Although it was a well-kept secret that only maids and butlers actually lived in the actual mansion upon the estate.

The key difference was that the only thing the maids within the Evans estate had to do was to dust a mansion that was hardly used for living and maintain courtyards that were never touched.

Matthew Whitfield was due to arrive by limousine in approximately fifteen minutes, the time, Lily had estimated, it would take to create a list of things that she should want to tell this boy before being lowered into her grave. Sirius Black may _be_ a vile creature, but Mr Matthew Whitfield most certainly _defined_ vile. Up until third grade every summer he would tease her in an incessant non-stop manner that involved various allusions to how they may one day get married to each other. Lily, who had sported a mouth with a sharp mind of its own at the time, rebuked him in various ways—each time much crueller than the next. It was this lack of manners for suitors that Lily managed to avoid silly thoughts for arranging marriages early on from aspiring parents in the social world.

Indeed, Sirius Black was one who would never have it as bad as Matthew Whitfield.

Lily found it a simply amazing fact how her mother had to grow up within this atmosphere and not want certain other heads to simply fall off the planet of their own volition. Certainly, rich people had far too much time on their hands as to disturb other rich people—or gloat to others how much richer they were than them. The estimated value of the Evans estate was never publicly discussed, but many imagined it to be higher than the Whitfield estate currently is. In fact, both Diane and Tristan were veterans within the business world and made money fairly easy—thus the cause of Tristan having bought Lily as many dresses or skirts or flowers to adorn her room as she wanted.

At the ring of the doorbell, Lily sighed and nodded to a nearby maid to get it as she went up to her room. No doubt a night of dancing and she would require her dancing shoes and some dusted over dancing gown—a green one, she decided, since her hatred for green reminded her so very much of her hatred of Matthew Whitfield. Pulling it out of the closet, she frowned at it repulsively. This was the dress he had bought for her the year previous that she had never worn. Matthew was returning from a trip to France and had brought it back in high hopes that she would accept his proposal of marriage—effectively allowing him to claim possession over her.

Lily had publicly accepted it, then later threw it on the floor in front of him in private—at which point it had then been delivered to her room where she had thrown it out a window. A maid retrieved it from the third-story balcony of her window—as the hem of the skirt had become caught on the windowsill. Later on it had been repaired and put in her closet by the head maid—who, at the time, had become great friends with Lily and earned to keep the spare key to the garden, which lay in her vanity for some time since Petunia ceremoniously tossed it in the fire when the letter came.

After putting it on, she blankly wondered where that head maid was at current when she remembered that her father had given her the month of November and December off as paid vacation time. Pinning her hair up with skilled practice and speed, she dusted herself over as to look like an hour preparation before leaving her room and coming down the stairs.

Matthew was already nervously tapping his foot, staring at the door while a maid waited nearby patiently—keeping watch on the visitor. As her eyes went up to Lily, Matthew caught the maid's stare and turned around, reflexively smiling at her as he held out a hand.

"Trash, I will not defile myself with you. Get out of my house. Now, as the phrase requests it," she said quickly and testily. Dealing with the toxic charms of Matthew Whitfield would surely poison her delicate skin with long exposure. There was no telling what sort of mutations might be had from long exposure—for instance, the desire to feel faint within his presence. Although the possibility of that desire being because of his vile person was not out of the question.

Retracting his hand, he smiled broadly, leading the way out—as was their personal custom rather than the customs that society had long ago decided by some means. Rather than have the lady leave first—as came the common phrase 'ladies first'—in this case Lily, she righteously made show of kicking Matthew out of her home and making the extra mile as to ensure that he would not simply lock her out and enjoy the five-star resort that surely was the Evans manor.

"Touchy as always, Lily, but my, you are as charming as always as well, so I am not complaining overtly. After you, my dear," he said, opening the car door for her, not a hint of rude or crude visible. As perceptive as Lily was, Matthew lived and grew up within a high-class society, more so than Lily and thus was able to fool even the strongest of perceptions.

Stepping into the limousine, Lily pulled the rest of her dress in as he closed the door behind her, stepping in from the other side. Lily turned her head to look out the window so that she would be given the option of giving him very generic responses to his chatter. After all, Matthew Whitfield was one bred to be nothing more than an individual who was full of hot air and other nonsensical unrealistic things meant solely to please others. Matthew Whitfield knew nothing of the affairs of the world and didn't care for them either. Such a person, Lily knew, she would never be able to find likeable in any way.

Matthew Whitfield to her was simply a horse that has a carrot dangling in front of it.

Surprisingly, the ride to the estate was quiet and Matthew did not even attempt to make conversation with her the entire way there. Once the car stopped, he got out from his side and went around and opened her door, offering her a hand that she did not take. His mother was nowhere in sight and pretences were not necessary. As soon as he closed the door, the limousine drove off.

"Is your mother waiting inside?"

"Yes, they all are. Lily… really, I have to talk with you first."

Turning to him with an initial frown, it eventually disappeared when she saw how very seriously he was looking at her with those blue eyes of his. As far as she knew, his entire family had green eyes, thus it was by clear miracle he had happened to have blue. "What is it?" she asked softly, taking a delicate approach.

Matthew stepped up to her and took her hand in his, Lily found that she didn't want to disturb his thoughts and so she let him. That sombre face on someone who had never shown care or worry for anything or anyone in his entire life other than himself seemed so sincere that his next few words must be nothing short of profound.

"More than anything, I think you should know something."

Curiosity tugged on Lily and she found she wanted to know whatever he was about to tell her as well. This boy's countenance, currently, was formal—yet he didn't know anything else being raised in such high circles and was thus worthy of suspicion. Matthew Whitfield was very much like herself—top of his school, most admired, most loved and most respected. Lily had stubbornly refused to place the similarities between them until now.

"What's that?" she asked tartly.

Looking away for only a moment before staring right back into her eyes and fixing her gaze, he pursed his lips nervously. "More than anything, I should let you know that… I am an idiot."

Lily smiled serenely. "That much, I already—"

"Also," he continued, "that I very much… very much… from the first moment we were formally introduced… I think you are a very wonderful person. That is to say, Lily Evans, I very much… very much love you."

Indeed, such a grand proposal could find no words from Lily as she was simply shocked. There had been mutual dislike or at least distrust between them. From the way he had teased her from her childhood on and from the way he spoke to her so very charming and rude, certainly, she couldn't ever foresee something such as this ever happening. The happenstance of this was so rare to her that it would be like an individual being struck by lightning three times in a row.

The next incident was even more stunning to her as he dropped to one knee while holding her hand and pulling out a velvet box.

"Whitfield, this is—"

"Nothing less. Lily Evans, will you marry me? Not politically, not as an arranged thing, but for the fact that I love you, forevermore. My mother did not put me up to this, and neither did my father. This was a decision I made on my own—yes, foolish Matthew Whitfield only doing as Mommy and Daddy command, I know it all. I am familiar with it enough."

This was a side of him that Lily never knew existed and would have been perfectly happy to never know. She felt as if something had frozen her entire body as she felt unable to move. No clear thought entered her mind and nothing certainly left it. The determination in his eyes were so strong that she wanted to indulge him forever—wanted to say yes and be his. There was a future with this boy, there was admiration with this boy—this boy had everything to offer her and even his undivided love as well.

Such a thing… was not an easy thing to simply turn away.

Coughing, she turned her head away. "I will… consider it," she said, her hand muffling the already quiet tone of her voice. "I believe your mother is waiting… for us…"

Matthew only smiled and stood up—her hand still in his. "I look forward to a favourable answer."

"Possibly," she said, taking her hand back and walking into the house on her own as he bowed and followed closely behind her. A servant opened the door for them and Lily walked into the splendour of the Whitfield home. It sparkled with a newly buffed and waxed shine as she could see her reflection upon the marble floor.

Mister and Misses Whitfield stood at the bottom of the staircase upon the velvet rug that flowed straight from the second floor down the stairs to the impossibly large doors. The image of their faces simply rose about ten levels in complexion when they saw her as Matthew took her arm upon coming in like the gentleman he at least pretended to be. His parents had always been a deathly strong advocate of their marriage and always saw it as a future rather than a possibility. Both Lily and her parents never had the heart to disillusion them of such grandeur.

"Lily! What a pleasure to see you! Staying for dinner, I hope?"

Lily smiled brightly. "Perhaps, I have other engagements this evening, but I could not resist but to come and catch up with you. I've been away at that private school for so long I dearly do miss seeing everyone," she said with practiced cheer and grace. Idle chatter like this was one of Lily's expertises, after all.

Mrs Whitfield was absolutely delighted with this response—more so since her only daughter, Elizabeth, was far from being a lady. Elizabeth had opted to join the rankings of a public school, her initial logic being that she would dazzle them all and be top of the school. Logic had, however, failed on Elizabeth and in the end she turned out less refined than she had prospected to be. Her manner was not entirely common though.

"Of course, Lizzie misses you so very much while you're away. The poor dear is simply bored to tears without you." Mrs Whitfield had been long ago fooled into believing that Lily and Elizabeth were the best of friends even though they only spent their summers together—and not even. Lily always indulged Mrs Whitfield simply because of who she was and no less.

"My, I miss her as well. The days are simply bland without her."

Mrs Whitfield nodded accordingly. "Yes, anyway, let's get out of the doorway here. Travis, prepare the sitting room for us all and check on dinner. The rest of the guests are due to arrive any second to sup with us. Come, Lily dear, there will be plenty of time to spend with Matthew later on in the evening, I imagine," she said as Lily moved from Matthew's arm to his mother's. "That dress looks simply stunning on you as well; his pick, I believe."

As if Lily did not realize the very _subtle_ hints every time she visited this home about that matter, it simply had to be stated in front of them both as well.

"Why yes, it's a ravishing colour, don't you think? Very well with my eyes," she lied. Green, in fact, was the colour that Lily detested most.

After another thirty minutes of idle chatter with Mrs Whitfield and tea, Lily heard music start to be played in the ballroom nearby and the succulent smells of dinner being made and cooked to perfection. Lily thought her mind would go raw with all the fabrication on the status of her non-existent relationship to this woman's son and meaningless chatter. Within ten minutes of walking out of this room she wouldn't have a mind to remember any of what this woman had said in the last half hour anyway.

Mr Whitfield was never much one to talk to Lily, and if he ever did it would always be when they were alone or out of earshot of everyone else. If anything, Mr Whitfield was the strongest advocate of either them getting married or not. Although he wanted the marriage to happen as much as everyone else, and that want was very apparent in the way he had fed Lily various tidbits on the preferences of Matthew, he still wanted to give Lily a choice that he never got.

Mr William Whitfield had been in an arrangement to marry Kate Iverson since they were children and had known nothing less or more about Kate than hearing repeatedly that Kate would be the one he would marry. At the age of twenty-two, that was simply what had happened.

Both Diane and Tristan, however, had expertly skirted around the issue whenever in conversation with the Whitfields and so arrangements of that sort were never made. They had long ago told Lily that an arranged marriage would not be necessary for her since becoming a witch. Lily had bluntly told them that she would throw away magic for the muggle world any day for there was nothing in that world for her that she had become deathly attached to in order to stay.

Eventually, the conversation was ushered into the ballroom and Lily took a dance with Matthew, her eyes refusing to look at him the entire time although her face smiled and put on a show for everyone to see. This was natural for her, for she smiled like this whenever she was dancing with any of the nameless boys that also wished to marry her. During the season, Lily had often stayed at home, feigning an illness to avoid the affair altogether.

As she danced with Matthew and felt his light grip on her waist and on her hand, she remembered another individual that she had shared dances with far, far away from here. In a more unnatural setting in a more unnatural place with the same atmosphere that this one carried. In the corner of her eye she saw the Duchess and out of the other she saw a very distant—but blood-related—relative of the queen. In this same way she saw Emily Richardson's and Keily Hawkes' and Alicia Roses and countless others who had their eyes all on her.

Lily also blithely remembered that she had never noticed any of that at the time for her concentration had all been upon presenting her very best to the boy she had been dancing with. In fact, the second that his name sprang to life in her mind her feet had stopped moving and she had halted all at once. Matthew blinked a bit before attempting to assess the issue a bit further.

Taking a step back and away from him, she gave a deep curtsey, muttered an apology and dashed out of the ballroom. Giving a glance at Mrs Whitfield told her that the woman had assumed that Matthew proposed to her and that was the cause of her fluster. There was little surprise that a large smile was plastered all over her face.

Finding the closest phone to her, she called for her driver to come and pick her up post-haste. After that, Lily ran out of the mansion, waiting patiently outside the door. A display like that was unforgiveable and, considering the circumstances, most likely very confusing more than anything else. The most eligible match for any son had just madly dashed out away from the most eligible match for any daughter and left without a word or a trace like a loon.

Very appealing.

Once her driver appeared, she ran down the stairs and, just as she laid her hand on the door handle, not waiting for her driver to do that for her, Lily heard the unmistakable sound of Matthew calling her name out. Lily stopped and looked back at him for a moment before fully turning around and paying him all her attention.

"Lily, I don't know what just happened a while ago, but… I'll see you in the summer. This will be the last I see you until then because I know you'll be going back to St Katherine de Belle in France soon." Due to Lily's magical heritage her parents had made arrangements with the school to look as if she were attending, but not really. The school, it seemed, would graciously do it for anyone who had recently donated a considerable fund to them. "So I'll see you in the summer."

Lily blinked, vaguely remembering that, yes, she was 'attending' that school. "Yes, of course, au revoir, as they say in France. I'll see you soon then," she rushed quickly as she turned back around and entered the back of the limousine.

"The estate, don't dally," she commanded strongly.

"Yes, Lady Evans," the driver responded promptly, quickly making tracks off the Whitfield property.

Lily could see Matthew waiting there up until he was out of sight, and even then, she imagined, he did not move until positive that he would not see her again. The next time they would meet, however, Lily would have for him a fairly unpleasant answer and would need the many months up until then to formulate such an answer in a way that would cause the least amount of pain. Being a heartbreaker was something that Lily desperately tried to avoid being for the majority of it. Her status and reputation at Hogwarts was so finely built that she had no worries of breaking any hearts—truly—and so she had used that to her advantage.

Once back home, Lily gave the driver orders to wait there for her before she ran out of the limousine and up to the doors of the estate, ringing the doorbell frantically for a maid to answer.

"I wondered how long you would take," someone said, addressing her.

Lily swivelled, alarmed at the sudden conversation to see James Potter, sitting on the base of the nearest pillar, facing the mansion. He wore a tuxedo of the finest make, it seemed, and also seemed to have been waiting there for a tremendous amount of time for her.

"James Potter, what on earth—"

"Tut tut, Miss Evans, we are late for dinner I imagine, but shall be there in time for dancing in the ballroom. I will treat you to our chef's finest chocolate deserts after if you are hungry."

Before Lily could say another word in edgewise, the maid had opened the door and, upon seeing who it was, opened the door wider to allow her entry. Lily stood there for only a moment before leaning over to pull on James' wrist and led him inside, leaving him at the base of the stairs before running up and lifting her skirt up to dash to her room. After slipping out of the green dress as quickly as she could, she ceremoniously tossed it to a far corner and scanned the many rows of dresses for her favourite one. It was a blue iridescent one that came off the shoulders and was detailed in white as well.

Pulling the drawer in her vanity out she cracked open her most precious jewellery box and put on the set of diamond earrings and necklace, slipping on white silk gloves that ran to her elbows. Putting on a different set of shoes, she looked herself in the mirror over again after quickly restyling her hair to look more refined. Satisfied, she left her room and slowly walked down the stairs to James who was patiently waiting at the bottom of those stairs.

"Wonderful as always, Lils, like the finest breed of royalty descending from nothing less than heaven. You will make all the others simply cry," he said as they started off and out the door.

Lily smiled brightly. "Silly boy, I will make hardly anyone cry other than those I will not dance with."

James laughed. "No, really, you will make them cry; there are a lot of girls our age at this party that I simply don't want to pay a mind to—although I'm sure they'll pay much more than a penny of any degree of prettiness for parts of mine."

Lily laughed, enjoying the charms of this boy for all they were and were not. "What would _I_ have to pay for your thoughts then?"

James turned away from her and smiled. "For you, most certainly a gracious discount for my useless thoughts, Miss Evans. For you, you get the special price of absolutely nothing."

Lily smiled as he opened the door for her. "What a fine discount, indeed."

The limousine they had entered, Lily was unsure whether it was hers or James', but for Lily, it didn't matter for nothing mattered when she was with this boy. Time could stop forever or the world could stop spinning, for when she was with this boy roses would forever be in full bloom and their scent would fill the air so fragrantly there was no need to stop in order to effectively smell them.

As James ordered the driver to their destination, Lily enjoyed an entertaining car ride the way there—as James would simply not stop talking about how direly long he had waited for her out in the cold—hoping that she would come back sooner with every passing second. It was cold out on her doorstep he had vaguely reminded her many times as well.

Upon reaching the Potter estate, Lily took a look at the house and wondered why she had never seen it before when she had noticed the nameplate on the gates. It had clearly read 'White;' the name of the most esteemed family in all of Britain. They were of the oldest generation and the most respected line. Theirs was a lineage that was not royalty, but could be. The Whitfields and Evans could not compare to these that were eligible to dine with the Kings and Queens of Britain, the nobles of Ireland, and the Dukes and Duchesses of Scotland.

Upon entering those gates, Lily felt awe like never before and remained speechless, simply staring out at the large expanse of land that must all be owned by this family. It was not until they stopped at the foot of the stairs to the mansion that looked as if it could fit an entire army inside that Lily turned to James to find him not there, instead on the other side of the door, opening it for her.

Lily stepped out and looked to James, utterly speechless.

Compared to this boy, her heritage was nothing.

"James, what—"

"My mother… Eveline White is of pureblood wizarding descent as is my father, Kurtis Potter. My mother remains a White, simply because she was the only child born and the name must continue on. I have two elder sisters, Relina and Arianna, Arianna will continue on the White name. It is a very different family building compared to others. I am not the first-born; therefore I have no right to the White name. My father was of a lesser family—though my mother married out of love."

Lily was not much for the elite circles of the wizarding world, but clearly, she could see now that there were some _very_ important names floating around out there that she would have to take notice of in the future. It was such a mystery to her that this boy was worth so much more than he let on that she could simply not understand why he would simply settle for what he did when attending Hogwarts. Lily did not and she was muggle born.

"Why didn't you tell me you were from such a prestigious name?"

James merely smiled. "Because it would matter to you, that much I know. Also, I'm not truly a White. Come on, there's a dance or two waiting for us, I cannot present myself in front of the Duke without you on my arm or I may be forced to take a dance with one of his daughters."

Taking the proffered arm, Lily let him lead her into the grand estate and into the ballroom. The music stopped for only a moment as to let everyone register blankly that someone important had entered the room. They paused at the door for a moment until the music started up again and everybody looked away once more. These people did not recognize Lily and only took notice of James. Here, Lily Evans and the Evans name meant little to these people; here Lily Evans was not on the top of the list for attention and proposals.

A woman with a shapely figure approached them as they had ventured slightly deeper—James pointing out various individuals that he deemed Lily would be interested in. "Mr White, a pleasure to see you, and your lady friend… Miss… I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch your name…" she said genially. It seemed that this girl was a touch dafter and that was her mistake rather than implied rudeness.

"Ah, Duchess Constantine, a pleasure to see you again. Allow me to introduce to you Lily Evans, my date for tonight."

The Duchess looked Lily over finely, like a piece of meat at a dog show before smiling approvingly. "Of a good breed it seems. You have chosen well, Mr White, although I would naturally have preferred one of my daughters to you."

"Naturally," he said with a nod and gracious smile.

"Well, cheerio to you, I only came to greet since I have seen very little of you all night, Mr Potter," she said with a wink before turning her attention elsewhere and moving on.

Lily instantly turned to James, confused out of her mind. "Who was that?"

"The Duchess? She works in the Ministry in the Muggle Associations branch in the first division. Very important woman. Keeps up with the queen, she does," he rattled on as if this information were nothing. "I'm surprised you don't know many of these individuals, many are from the wizarding world. Nearly everyone who is are marked accordingly with a red corsage on the men and red roses on the left on the women. Over there is Ellis Painmere, now that is a woman who is not given the proper title for her reward," he said, pointing to a woman with silvery white hair but looked to be no older than twenty-five. "Currently there is no head in her department; however she is in the second division. Ms Painmere deals with—"

"The Department of Magical Investigations," Lily said, cutting him off. "I am… well aware."

James nodded accordingly but said no more. Soon enough, dancing music started up and people started to clear to the sides while attention was drawn to a central point. Chatter stopped almost instantaneously and all eyes were on him expectantly. "Now it is the time of the night to be danced away. If we could have our gracious host's son and his lovely partner enter the floor first soon followed by our hosts themselves."

Lily's eyes widened. That would mean that they would be out first and everyone would recognize her to be with James Potter—not an overly bad thing anymore—simply ridiculously embarrassing without proper preparation. The atmosphere in this room was so much finer than what she was used to playing at. The games and rules were so much different here than where she was from. Surely, this was the next step up, but her feet and mind refused to join her willing heart in going there.

James led her by the hand properly to the centre as the announcer moved away to let them take the central focus. Lily gripped his hand and shoulder nervously once they were situated and the music replayed for them to start.

"Relax, imagine this to be the ball at school, no more. They'll be dazzled with you, indefinitely," he whispered to her. Three seconds after playing, James started to lead her off and, for a moment, Lily could still feel the stares of everyone on her—wondering who she was and what family she came from. Everyone was, inevitably, wondering the same thing—who was this girl they had never seen?

Lily felt nervous until she looked up at James and was able to relax her grip at seeing those hazel eyes so very directed at her and that warm smile seemingly a smile intended only for her while all others could only hope but to steal glances of it that escaped Lily's vision. Soon enough, the music, this dance, and James Potter were all that she was cognizant of.

It felt right. It felt more natural than anything to be here, upon his stage and being pulled by no strings. Her own stage was Hogwarts—and it was as dull, and as boring and as miserable as the most depressing thing on this planet. Upon the stage of James Potter, she had become more than a puppet and ascended to a star.

"Amazing as always, Lils," he commented once the music played a bit louder and more couples joined them upon the floor.

Lily could only scoff lightly. "I am hardly anything of that. The one who is really amazing here is you, James White."

James only smiled. "That's Potter to you, Miss Evans."

Returning his smile, Lily could not help but feel completely at home. "Indeed, it is, James Potter."

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Every time I see that someone's reviewed I get really excited! It makes me indescribably happy to know that everyone enjoys Rain so much! Honestly, when I first published it I didn't think it would get very far, and look at it now. It's all thanks to all your motivation and remarks on everything! Thanks much everyone!

Samarrah: Aw... well, thanks so much! I dislike reading stories with broken English, I even have to screw up my eyes a bit when I make up words that everyone knows the meaning of but technically aren't words. So, if that makes you happy, then be happy to know I'll never write anything less than what you might get out of Rain here! Thanks so much!

Comments:

Yes, before you say anything, I know his name isn't White. Before you mention anything more, I know that the last name White has next to no affiliation with the actual history of James Potter or the wizarding world of Harry Potter at all. Oh, I really wish I could introduce his sisters to you all; they're very charming characters in my mind. Ah well, it just means you'll have to read some of my other stories (that may possibly come out) that include them. If you have read anything of _Forget Me Not_ you'll notice a few similarities.

For some reason this chapter slightly bothered me. Just slightly.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.

P.S.

First of all, let me clearly state why I have not updated in such a long time--completely throwing me off my schedule for getting this story done and posted. I don't know where you all live, but where I live, it had rained. Normally, I don't mind this so much. It rains. It rains everywhere on the planet in some form of precipitation. However, this particular rain had managed to leak into my bag, thus destroying and ruining hundreds of very important documents. To say that I was unhappy about this would be the understatement of the century and a straight on lie. I have inadvertently funnelled this anger towards this story in general--possibly because of the title. I know, it's not the story's fault, I blame it on the weather. As a result I have not wanted anything to do with rain weatherwise or digital-wise for the period of four weeks.

For that, I apologize.


	26. Unfounded Vicious Things

Chapter Twenty-Six: Unfounded Vicious Things

"Never would have thought that. You don't think it's true, do you?"

"Possibly, you never know what she has in her head anymore. I never see her."

"Please, Evans _adores_ Lupin, you saw, didn't you?"

"Well, I also heard rumours that she kissed Sirius Black under mistletoe. That girl doesn't intend to have anything to do with him, how cruel. Stringing him along like that, what a shame."

"I never thought you could put the words Lily Evans and harlot together without adding a 'is not' in between."

Rumours had flooded Hogwarts within the first week back and Lily found herself denying things much more than she needed to. Her kingdom had run amok while she was away and she only had the Marauders and herself to blame. The students of Hogwarts, it seemed, were not as devoted as she had left them. In fact, Lily found she had to continuously dry herself off from the sludge of filthy lies that had miraculously pooled around her feet.

"Girls, have you all something to say to me?" she asked kindly, but not without meaning, coming up to Patricia Ryerson, Emily Richardson and Samantha Greenwood, smiling at them expectantly. Of all the people in this school, this flock was, by far, her most devoted. If they fell, her entire rule was threatened to deceit.

Emily smiled cheerfully at Lily as old habits died very hard. "We were wondering of asking you, Lily, do you like Sirius Black or Remus Lupin? It's a very confusing question."

Lily merely smiled, this question, she had answered nearly thirty-times today with the same repetitive and ever so irritable response. "Honestly, Richardson, I don't really like either of them. Remus Lupin is simply not the kind of boy I prefer and Sirius Black has far too large a mouth for my preferences. Pity me, _my_ knight is still missing."

At this comment, Emily went slightly pink—for it was not a well-known fact that Emily Richardson was dating Tom Jordan. Tom Jordan was of the loud-mouthed but considerate and considerably sweet variety—he just didn't have the breeding, for Tom Jordan, by no fault of his own, was muggleborn and thought to be a squib until the age of ten. Emily Richardson had confided this to Lily Evans—the only sure way of making sure it remained a secret—but last spring during their sixth year.

Patricia wavered slightly before smiling. "He'll come for certain one day, Lily, I'm sure of it! In the meantime you can always give us a grand show between Black and yourself. That's always been entertaining."

Lily smiled back sweetly at her, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "Count on it, to be sure."

Samantha, however, did not look as convinced. Samantha Greenwood had been one of Lily's largest advocates, however, her infatuations with Remus Lupin were more than enough to want Lily dethroned. "Really? I have been told, in fact, from reliable sources that you admire _both_ and are simply playing along with them. That's a cruel game to play, don't you think, Lily?" she said, acid upon her words, saying Lily's name sparingly.

Lily's eyebrows rose innocently in a shocked—but practiced—manner. "Yes, indeed, it is. Who might have told you this? I can assure you, it's a lie."

Pursing her lips, Samantha shook her head and smiled. The case was closed to her and now nothing could possibly change her mind. "Well, well, perhaps Amy Pavonis is much more of a spider than we thought, for she is spinning tales—true or false are to be determined."

With that, Samantha took her leave, leaving Lily fuming in her wake. How dare she be so impudent. Lily remembered a time where the information of whether Lily knew what time of day it was were important enough to gossip about. Now this girl couldn't give two cents to care about the social well-being of a girl who was still queen of this school.

Someone was trying to dethrone her and had started to take an ice-pick to her crown and Lily was keen to find out who. The holidays had left her mind buzzing with dances and secrets and more mysteries to question. In this state of mind, Lily found that clear thoughts were scarce to come by without interference from stray ideas or wanderings. Lily had to once again immerse herself within this society, being the obscure queen of popularity as she once was—content to rule with partial authority and only partial minds to what was happening did not make the cut in this new season.

Lily did not know the latest gossip on couples, nor did she know enough information about anything anymore to pay even a half a cent to specific matters. The solid sheet of ice had slowly started to melt underneath her while she idled her time away skating over it with James Potter. She was the only Evans now, what was previous would simply not do for what was now.

"I haven't the slightest idea what Pavonis may have muddled up in her head, but whatever she is saying is not true, by all accounts. The only truth in any of these rumours is that, yes, Sirius Black caught me under mistletoe—as he does every year, I'm sure anyone would agree."

Emily nodded. "Absolutely. That boy is crazy about you. My, what a perfect match you two would make, don't you think, Patricia?" she said innocently, not realizing, it seemed, the full ramifications of that suggestion.

"Absolutely. A perfect Queen with a perfect King, don't you think? Shame on that silly Heads Curse into thinking that Lily would honestly pair up with that obscure boy!" she said laughingly, finding the thought, apparently, to be extremely amusing. The thought that Lily had once thought of this laughable matter, and given nearly the exact same response as Patricia did not miss her; in fact hitting her harder than a train ever could.

Lily merely smiled. "Well, girls, I can't promise you anything. Anyway, it's time I got this school set straight, everyone is in a tizzy from the holidays and the prefects seem to have all forgotten how to be one. I'll see you all at dinner and we can catch up on what happened over our breaks then, yes?"

The two girls nodded affirmatively and Lily took off, feeling a little more confidence fall in her stride than before. It would take weeks to repair what damage had been caused. Not only that, but she had to find the cause of all this mayhem that had assaulted her on the first day back from break. Chaos was not a welcome thing within her courts and she aimed to crush the problem or at least silence the cause. Wagging tongues were not very well taken with her.

As she headed towards the Great Hall, she realized that she passed by the secret corridors that she and Sirius excavated through on the night of the Yule. Glancing at the uninteresting and daily misinterpreted walls, she scowled at them, solely blaming them for that entire night's fiasco. Excuse upon excuse and fabricated lie upon truth had to be told to prevent the epidemic of that.

Lily sighed; Fiona Wethersett didn't have to do this much to keep her title; captain of the Quidditch team, one half of the _Wicked Wethersett_ duo, sister to the only boy that Lily had avidly admired and also Head Girl to boot. With all that, Lily had a hard time competing and even harder time to keep her various titles.

Elusive, untouchable, untameable—all things she had earned over the last two years along with a varied number of nicknames including Firehead, of all things, by Sirius Black for her mean temper. It seemed that these might disappear at the drop of a flag or the flick of a switch—as if these were things that were only clinging to her by the barest bits of thread.

There was a sudden hissing noise coming from the wall and Lily frowned. Glancing around, she saw that no one else was here to verify her sanity—or insanity as the case may be—and came closer to inspect the hissing wall that seemed to have wanted her attention so much as to hiss at her.

"Hello?" she asked cautiously.

Not a moment after the wall swung open and a pair of hands grabbed either of her arms and dragged her through before slamming shut once more. Lily was so disoriented from the sudden rush that she took a few seconds to stabilize herself and realized that she was leaning very much on something very warm and very solid. Thankfully it was too dark to tell who had accosted her whom she was now leaning on for support.

"Lillian! My love, my angel, my—"

"—disgust," she said venomously, immediately knowing who she was so casually leaning against. "Who gave you permission to use my full name you worthless piece of trash?" she said, standing on her own two feet and an arms length away from the boy, since his hands were still holding onto her arms from the pull.

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "Ah, my love, you never cease to astound me at your quick wit and—"

"To the sharp and narrow point, if you please, Mr Black," she said dully, not wanting to waste time here with him.

"Ah, yes, of course. Moony, lights please."

A groan was heard. "What am I, your maid servant? _Lumos_," he said despite his comment. Lily had another flash of vertigo as her eyes had just focused to the dark only to be blared with a blinding flash of light. It was unhealthy and it was unheard of and it was completely characteristic of something Sirius Black would do to you. First he would blind you, then he would blind you again. Very typical.

When her eyes focused once more, she saw that the entire gang was here, all four of them—the last mystery member included, being Peter Pettigrew. Lily only scarcely knew about Peter because he had an unmistakable crush on Lily in second—when she was hardly considering ruling this school or even open to the option. However, she recognized him nonetheless and recognition from Lily Evans was good enough for anyone to escalate to higher grounds of social status.

"We are in need of your very Heady help, Lillian, would you be so kind?"

Shaking herself free of his grasp, Lily sighed, realizing somewhere in the back of her mind that she would have to hand-wash these robes now to get the taint and corruption out. "And what sort of service do you require from me that your other _Heady_ help cannot accomplish?" she asked plainly, staring right past Sirius to James who merely looked on in amusement.

Pursing his lips before popping them, Sirius glanced at James for a moment before looking back at her. "James will not—er, I should say—cannot do it. This task, I'm afraid, Lillian, requires your very female expertise."

Lily lowered her eyes at him. "I should give you all detentions—Head Boy included—right now for even thinking of asking this of me. Whatever chaos you wish to create will not be with my aid, you menaces to society."

Remus held a hand over his heart and wiped away an imaginary tear. "Ah, Lily, such sweet words. We've never gotten such high praise before—except from ourselves, of course. You're an honorary Marauder, you have to help us."

Lily threw her head back and laughed. "I'm not stupid enough as to throw myself in with _you_ lot. Now, tell me what you're intending to do so that I may inform McGonagall for a punishment tenfold what I would have given you."

Sirius sighed. "Well, it would get the rumour mill off your back. Our plan that is. What is the largest place to gossip in the school among girls?"

"The washroom," she replied plainly.

This, by far, was as common sense as remembering to breathe.

"Exactly. We will set up… various things in each of the washrooms. The foul-mouthed wretch of a girl that is spreading lies about you with this _dog_—" Remus gave an audible protest, "—and start more about you and I. Or simply stop altogether," he added quickly after catching her glare.

Folding her arms neatly, Lily cocked her head at him. "I have no need of _your_ questionable help, Mr Black, to set things right with my school."

Sirius smiled. "Ah, but free help is given from both Sirius Black and the Marauding Marauders of Hogwarts to the girlfriend of Sirius Black."

Lily's eyes widened and she turned white, colour draining from her face. How had… who… in short, Lily was utterly confused—far too confused to feel the very real anger that was most likely building up like a volcano about ready to blow its top.

Seeing her reaction to this statement, Sirius waved a cautionary hand in front of her face. "Hello? Hogwarts to Lily? We kissed, remember, under mistletoe, yes, but we kissed nonetheless. You didn't seem _not_ to enjoy it this time."

Lily's mind had shut down. It seemed that the one at fault for these rumours was this marauding idiot in front of her. "Black, you are the most _vile_, _wretched_, _hapless_ and _unfortunate_ pile of _sludge_ I have _ever_ had the displeasure to come in contact with," she said slowly, feeling that if she spoke too quickly she might burst out at him shrieking and thus lose her voice. "I am _not_ your girlfriend, and I am _nowhere near_ an honorary Marauder, nor do I wish ever to be one. Stop stuffing clouds in that empty head of yours as an excuse to always be up there," she said before turning on her heel and pushing the wall of the door open.

"Boys, scatter," he said quickly just as the wall opened.

When Lily walked out, she realized that all hope was lost as it was the lunch hour and the very sight of a wall opening with Lily Evans coming out of it and Sirius Black following closely behind was far too much to comprehend. Lily's mind instantly shut down and colour seemed to have permanently drained from her face. Worse yet, all who were here were her peers.

The floodgates had broken and there was no fixing them.

Sirius stepped nimbly past her and smoothed his hair back. "I'll see you around, Lily," he said smoothly before strutting off.

Feeling helpless and very much like a deer caught in headlights, Lily was unaware of the group of girls who had witnessed that scene come and swarm her. Flocks of questions flooded out their mouths and Lily found that her social reflexes came very much in handy at this moment as her brain completely shut down while only a fraction of her brain listened to and responded to the questions the way these girls would take it best—and that would be with the one and only Sirius Black.

It left a sick feeling in her stomach, that was certain.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

messyblackhair66: Well, I wish I could be accomodating to you in any way at all, but I simply can't. One of my main inspirations for writing like this and like that are Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Wonderful book, really. I definitely would recommend reading her work, including Sense and Sensibility, which I have yet to flip through. Also, I am imagining the time-line to be slightly further back in time than they originally were. A time-frame similar, but not similar enough, to that of Pride and Prejudice--where, really, the speech is a little less confusing than Shakespeare but more so than what I write. Truth be told, I enjoy writing my dialogue like that, as I am a fan of old-fashioned and traditional things. After reading Pride and Prejudice so many times it simply stuck. I truly am sorry for confusing you with what's happening. Thanks for your continued support, though, regardless of all this messiness with my impossible dialogue. :P

This story is ringing the end! YES! I say YES! Well, I am happy about it, I speak no word of a lie there. You've all been very wonderful to me and I can say you'll have one of two reactions once the next chapter is out. Heaven forbid it's not the last one. There's still a bit more of a stretch to go--but we're on the home stretch nonetheless. Once again, I thank you for all your kind support for me! It's been a long road from when I posted the initial chapters of Rain to now. Definitely a road I wouldn't have gone down if not for all your kind reviews!

Comments:

I didn't like this one particularly. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, but I felt if I fudged around with it any more it would be completely ruined. I feel like I missed something--something tragically important. Aw... poor Lily... but the character I feel most sorry for is James. On the flip-side, I am taking this opportunity to promote my newest inspiration: Your Choice of Flower, another story with our wonderful stars with another twist that can only come from the recesses of my mind. You'll either love it entirely, or hate it completely.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.

P.S. It was exam season for me, so you all had to put up with the wait. I honestly wish I could say I am sorry, but, to be truly honest, I'm not. Anyway, I am now free as a bird to update the next couple chapters for you all in good time. Cheers. :P


	27. Tempting Fate

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Tempting Fate

"Stop fiddling, you'll spoil your dress."

"I can't help it; this one you've picked out is wretched to wear."

"But that's why we're here, isn't it? To find you a ravishing new one. Naturally, anything you wear will be ravishing, Lily."

"Always the charmer," she said dully.

A month had gone by since then and the snow had completely thawed out by then—giving way to sweet spring air and cool spring breezes with various puddles of slush littered everywhere upon the streets and grounds. The rumours had died down, Lily was still very much Queen, however the rules had completely changed and she found that there were only a select few players in this round.

Word had massed and spread like wildfire and the inevitable happened. Naturally, Lily had sought the council of her socialite friend, Alicia Rose, and she had given her the same response that she had given Christmas Eve. The events of Christmas Day, they had both conveniently forgot—blaming that of a _foul breeze_ being present and no more was said.

So, naturally, the advice Alicia had given had eventually, with Lily's chagrin, come unexpectedly true.

"Naturally," Sirius said, beaming at her with perfect teeth and perfect brown eyes.

These charms, Lily would constantly think, were meant for some other girl. The days she saw James were less and less—and even at that only when she went to meet up with Sirius. The battle had been lost and Lily could not help any more to straighten out the mess that occurred soon after as much as she could stop the tide from coming in day after day.

Perhaps, she thought, James would forget about her, although she promised herself never to forget him. After all, he was the one she loved most. It was impossible to forget the warm smile and the hazel eyes of James Potter. It almost seemed like too long ago that she was out in the rain with him—or that he would approach her and asking her what she was mucking about for. It felt too good to be true then, that secret reality. It felt too surreal to be anything but an illusion and still tasted too sweet to be just memory.

Times like this, when she saw Sirius Black on her arm, smiling the most charming smile in the world, she sometimes wished that James had never come into her life and shown her that happiness—happiness she was capable of knowing because of him. The days seemed longer and tauter, like plastic stretched over food to keep frozen. Everything was far too still-life for her liking and the mundane had become even more mundane. This world she lived in with these new rules upon this new game board had become like life in a snow globe—Sirius the glass bubble.

"You would be," she returned, giving him a slight smile as they entered the store—Lily still on his arm. Perhaps this moment would be perfect, perhaps Sirius Black was the one she should be in love with, not James Potter.

Perhaps James Potters should not exist in the world of Lily Evans.

"My good woman, my darling Lily Evans and I require a boon of you," he said grandiosely upon entering. Sirius always managed to find room to do things on a grander scale, in a grander fashion, in a slightly grander way than others might. Where Lily might come in and light up all the candles in a room with her smile, Sirius Black entered a room and you would need several hundred fire extinguishers to prevent a hazard. All in all, it seemed far too flashy to be natural. Somewhere inside, Lily knew that Sirius was just dancing to his own marionette strings.

The woman was familiar with them both—Sirius at least, for it seemed he had talked openly to this woman about the day-to-day affairs of his love life consisting only of one girl. When he had admitted this to Lily, she merely laughed at him like she had always done and called him an idiot. Lily was only an acquaintance of this woman and yet it already seemed like they had known of each other forever.

Rivers stepped out of the back of the store, hands on her hips. Her name wasn't really Rivers, nor was it anything related remotely to water, however, somewhere along the way, she had simply been called Rivers and has been called that ever since. Upon walking in, you smelled richly of lavender and immediately noticed the antiques and various objects within the store—hardly making you aware of the dresses that lie at the very back of the store.

Sirius was not even aware that this woman sold antiques, it seemed, for he had led Lily to the very back to find her a dress without so much as a glance at anything around him—as if his feet had walked this path nearly a thousand times—which they probably had.

"So the poison and his ivy return. Did you not like the dress? Or rather… too much?" she asked, seeing how Lily was wearing that very dress.

Lily shook her head. "It's a wonderful garment, Miss Rivers; it's just… uncomfortable in all the wrong areas. Aside from that, I am not a large fan of this colour."

"Nonsense, love! Yellow is a magnificent colour for you!" Sirius proclaimed loudly.

Sighing, Lily shook her head. "It's a wretched colour on me, Black, and you know it." Sirius said no more at this and shrugged simply. Since getting used to having Lily naturally on his arm all the time, things became much simpler between them and Lily wondered how long it really might have taken him if he was simply this way all the time with her. The time span, surely, would not have been so long.

After fretting over a few more dresses and denying many colours and many styles, they finally all agreed upon a nice simple bow-tie-in-the-back white dress with white shoes and a white lace hat to match. It was splendid, it was spring, and it was snow white and utterly plain. Despite those flaws, Lily did not much think more of it. It was a dress that Sirius had gotten for her and she decided she would appreciate it anyway.

Afterwards, they chatted up a few groups of people who consistently congratulated them as if they were due to be married by summer before heading to the Three Broomsticks and sitting down for a chat. After the first few chats they had together—real chats, not aimless flattery towards her person—Lily started to realize the underlying qualities in this boy that everyone managed to somehow see day after day. It was simply a marvel to her how it had eluded her for so long—possibly because she was trying to elude him for so long. Possibly because she didn't want to look past the dirt and grime she perceived to be caked far too thickly on the surface.

Today, and possibly all week, however, her thoughts had shifted shamelessly to James Potter. Focus was not with her and this was a rare chance that she and Sirius had simply all day together. Chats over butterbeer and Bertie Bott's and all manner of other sweets that Sirius might sneak out and away were not on her conscience today.

"You seem occupied, Lily, is anything the matter?"

Before she could stop herself or before she could even think about how it might sound other than in her head, Lily felt her lips moving of their own accord—possibly to her heart. "Are you satisfied, Sirius Black?"

"With what? With you? Of course, I adore you, Lily, why wouldn't I be satisfied? Don't fret, my dove, over silly matters like that," he said, and she knew he meant it. You didn't spend a month with someone and not realize what they were like. Sirius Black had no sides but one to him, what you saw when he was with James and the Marauders was what he was like with everyone else because he was just that; Sirius Black. Sirius Black was a sword that could only cut one way and even then down the middle.

Lily smiled sadly. "No, with how you _won_ me. Are you happy, Sirius Black, that you won me over by petty tricks and lies and _technicalities_? The only reason I am here, beside you on your arm is because you wanted it so badly that you planned for it and it happened," she said plainly, unable to stop a month's frustration from flooding her mouth with words she would later wish were never spoken.

Sirius frowned. "Lily, I did not lie, cheat or steal to get you. It is unethical and it is wrong. Those rumours about you and everything the first day back, I didn't start. I didn't say anything to help them, but I'm also guilty of not saying anything to stop them. I do not start, help or stop rumours, you know that by now. Whatever rumours I hear pass through my head one way and end up unnoticed on the other side—much like History of Magic," he added with a thoughtful nod of his head. Despite this comment, Lily knew that he had the second highest mark in that class next to hers. It was a real wonder since all he did was sleep or write her notes professing his love to her over and over again.

Lily looked up at him from her foaming butterbeer, hearing the ring of truth in his words and realizing she did not want to hear them—still wanting to be deluded by her version of reality. "Still, I had no choice. It was you or social obscurity. You've got me by a technicality. Are you happy with that?" she asked straightforwardly. Dodging issues was her strongest strength, direct approaches were very much roads to unpleasant areas of discussion. Areas such as these were where turbulent waters rippled.

The look on Sirius Black made Lily want to take back those words because it looked like someone had taken away his candy as if he were a child. Lily opened her mouth to say something, but turned away, thinking better of it.

"It is not a matter of whether _I_ am satisfied with that, as long as you are here and in my life, I care very little as to how, Lily. Are _you_ happy about that? I don't mind another chase if you aren't," he said wagging his eyebrows at her. "I won't mind stretching my legs again."

Lily huffed. "You cod. You absolute cod. Honestly, I promised myself that I would marry you one day, that this was all a game and we would both grow up and we would grow up together. Now, I'm thinking, I don't want my life perfect by technicalities. I've had… far too many of those. I've also had my life ruined by far too many technicalities as well."

Nodding sagely, Sirius sighed. "Ah, this must be what they call cloud nine; that is, until it rains and the cloud disappears and you fall to a very flat plane of existence. Well, my darling Evans, I am not going to give up on you. We'll play a tidy charade for the school the rest of the year through. It just means you'll have to be more than just an honorary Marauder though, if our intent is marriage," he said with a wink.

Lily sighed indiscriminately, feeling some semblance of routine come back into her life. Hanging off the arm of Sirius Black and later spending time at the Three Broomsticks with the very same individual was so very not routine. Despite that, past this month, she realized, she would never be able to call Sirius Black any synonym of vile or scum ever again with a clear conscience.

"Possibly. Anyway, I have Head Girl duties to attend to with that elusive Head Boy I have not seen in a month."

"James will be in his room. That is where he has been since last week, anyway. I will see you around then, love," he said, wagging his eyebrows as per usual.

Lily groaned and took off for the castle, tearing through the halls for the Heads room. As she spoke the password and stepped through the portrait hole, she saw him reading a Potions book in front of an empty fireplace. Smiling at the sight of his familiar messy hair, Lily sighed to herself softly; glad that things could be back to normal—to some perverted degree.

Sitting down next to him, she saw that he didn't even stir his eyes from his page. "Evans," he greeted cordially—much more cordially than she was used to. There was something in that, but for now, Lily did not want to make anything of it—simply satisfied that things could slowly revert to normal.

"Sirius and I have broken it off—keep that between us three, won't you?" she said plainly, directly.

James' eyes stopped moving and she knew that this caused him to stop reading as well as he simply shut the book closed and set it aside. "Really? Why's that?"

"It felt too sudden, too forced. I dislike being forced into anything. It is due to rain later tonight; will the kind sir join me for a bit of relaxing by the lake?"

James smirked. "I suppose I will. I'm tired of reading, that's all I've done this past week. The year is almost over and I'll be in Kingston for auror training. What are your plans for life after Hogwarts?"

Pursing her lips, Lily knew that she did not need to make _plans_ for _life after Hogwarts_. Her _life after Hogwarts_ was played out for her every summer and every winter and every social event that involved her family. Lily would be doing _just that_ for life after Hogwarts. The entire fanfare of going to a magical school thrilled her parents—causing them to believe that Lily would have to be better than everyone else who somehow had missed the 'magical' genes. Lily had noted that all that was gleaned was nothing but rubbish for knowledge that would never be accepted in the _real_ world, the muggle world. All muggles most likely have never even heard of the very word muggle.

"I don't know," she lied easily. "Let's not talk of the future, or the past. What's done is done and what can happen may never. Come on then, let's get some fresh air for our bookworm of a Head Boy then," she said, getting up ahead of him and already leading the way, knowing that he would follow. How could he not? Her approach to it all was flawless and only social rejects would deny her invite. Then again, although she would not admit it, she had changed since then.

Laughing, James got off the couch and followed her out while she discussed matters of the state with regards to the Head duties she had hardly performed all year. The school was kept run smooth and that was all she was there to ensure, wasn't it? What possible effect of _more_ effort could be gleaned from such a title as Head Girl? Lily had hardly even known what she did to _truly_ deserve the title other than being adored by the entire school by the time of the decision.

Eventually, they got to talking and discussing more than just things about the school and rather delved into foolish, childish subjects that Lily had not even thought of since being one. They were aimless, they were pointless and she found herself arguing such points with nothing to gain from it. Soon enough, they got to the Quidditch pitch and the clouds already started to form overhead, booming in the distance. The first rain of the year—she thought, with anticipation salivating on the tip of her tongue.

"It will rain soon, we should start going inside," James suggested. It was only natural for anyone to think this—it was a natural response to thunder and lightning in the sky. It was like asking what colour the sky was and knowing that the answer would always be blue.

Lily simply smiled. "Nonsense."

As they approached the centre of the field, James simply laughing at 'how much she still loved to muck about in the rain,' Lily could not help but smile, thinking of at least a thousand things that she loved more all with initials JP. Since Christmas break, her life had been thrown in a blender—socially and otherwise. There had been mutiny, there had been chaos and her crown had not been dusted since.

Here, however, underneath an overcast sky where the sun was surely shining on her, rain and gloom could not touch her, it seemed—for she was with her umbrella—an umbrella she promised herself she would marry. She had fallen in love with this raincoat and so she would marry it. That feeling, that was so much like love and so little like a crush in that she knew she needed him to complete her empty half, would never be let go of. For as long as she lived, she would say, if only in secret, that she loved James Potter.

Crossing the field and approaching the lake, Lily simply stayed silent and let him run his mouth aimlessly—firing questions at her every now and then for a response. When they reached the lake, Lily looked into the watery surface at the waters rippling edge. Her reflection seemed happy—although that not often meant that she was happy.

Perhaps, just for today, she would stay in from the rain.

"Mucking around here again I see," James observed teasingly.

Turning to face him, Lily smiled. It was at this lake, at this spot, where everything first began. Far past the Quidditch field where she spotted a rogue soul up in the winds upon his broom landing upon the ground in front of her in a rush of wind that had blown her life around this was where it all began—where all this wonderful nonsense with James started. It was where he piqued her curiosity and where he convinced her of a mystery that should not be common knowledge. It was here where her life had begun to change and crumble and shatter ever more. It was this boy who had caused all of this. This boy she had fallen so deeply in love with and his wonderful changes that she could only still love him more for everything he, most likely, brought to her unwittingly.

"James… there's something I need to tell you."

Raising both eyebrows straight up, he smirked. "What's that?"

"I… well, it's sort of hard to say and I'd rather not say it… but… it's something important that probably should be said." This was the place where it all began and, judging by the state of the sky, the time it all began.

Giving her a sympathetic and amused look, he folded his arms, his smirk growing larger. "Well, if it's something that needs to be said, shouldn't you just up and say it, Miss Evans?"

Huffing vehemently, she sighed and shook her head. "Never change, James. But, yes, it should be said…"

"Well then… now that _that's_ settled."

There was a moment of silence before Lily got her wits about her, earnestly wanting this moment to last forever in her memory. This would be the defining moment. She would let him know and she would reclaim her tattered rule on this school with an iron first, chain and shackles and she would make James Potter the most ridiculously popular boy to have ever graced these halls—all because he was the one she was so madly in love with.

"I… I love you… very much," she added after a much too pregnant pause.

The look on James' face was one she swore she would never forget.

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

messyblackhair66: Well, what happened at the end was that Lily was seen to emerge from the gap in the wall with Sirius following behind her during the rush, thus there were a lot of witnesses to this taking place. So, no, it was not just our delusional, silly, Lily being delusional and silly. I hope that clears you up a bit, and please, if you're ever confused, don't hesitate to ask! Ever! And, of course, thanks for all your wonderful support; I love you lots!

aChocoholic: I really wish I could say anything about it but that would ruin the story for you. So all I can say is that it made me indescribably happy to hear that! Thanks much!

My, my, you all steal my heart. Really, you do. So, anyway, it is time again to shamelessly promote my next bout of inspiration for our starring couple: Your Choice of Flower. It is, indeed, shorter and much more streamlined. I am hoping not to exceed past twelve chapters with that one. As much as I fancy writing a thirty plus story from start to finish like Rain, I often lose steam to finish it along the way and dust collects upon its digital pages.

Comments:

So there it is. In all it's glory. Well, what do you think? What do you think Mr Potter will say to that? I already know, for some very obvious reasons. Oh yes, and it's a cliffhanger, this one. The next couple chapters were a glory to write for me, the ones thereafter came out like chalk covered in melted processed cheese. They're still being revised at the moment.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.

P.S. Coincidentally, I walked the stage yesterday. Grats for me, yeah:)


	28. No

Chapter Twenty-Eight: No

"I… don't think a couple of months are enough to constitute to a feeling as strong as love," he said simply, plainly, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do. That calm demeanour and that faded smile, it was all it took.

It took her only four seconds to register that before Lily bolted out of sight. It took her five minutes of aimless running and three minutes of directed running before she made it to the edge of the woods on the other side of the school. It took her only moments before the tears came.

It _had_ taken her moments to find and realize a mystery. It _had_ taken her weeks to decide she wanted to find out about that mystery. It _had_ taken her hours upon hours upon hours for months and months to think and pick apart and rip and shred and deny and reassemble her love for this mysterious boy.

It took _him_ a single sentence to say he didn't return the sentiment. It took him a few painful seconds to shatter her love and simply toss it for so much foolishness and garbage.

It would take forever for Lily to forget how easily her heart had wilted like a rose in the desert.

Lily Evans was one who broke hearts, not the other way around—as such was the case. Rain started to fall and Lily's first instinct was to run to the lake before she remembered that was the place she was running _away_ from. There was only one place she would be completely safe now—it was a haven she had neglected nearly all year for routine at the lake—for privacy at the lake. There was no other place like it and no one would disturb her there or see her there. The castle was spelled to show only those windows that needed seeing. This window was not one that needed seeing.

Running inside the school, Lily stood in the doorway for a moment while the rain got harder and lightning flashed behind her, lighting her eyes up—giving momentary life to the dull and listless greens. There was no one around, thankfully, to see her madness—not after all of what happened.

James did not say it directly, he did not speak the precise words, nor did he even show intention to, yet he did. The girl in front of him that time was none other than Lily Evans, and he had most certainly rejected Lily Evans with that faded smile and that calm demeanour. The pauper had refused the Princess.

To Lily, it felt like he had stood back to admire his work—his piece of glass that was Lily as a crystalline figure much more precious than glass—to admire his work then pick up a hammer and smash it again before turning away, letting it fall to pieces. The Queen had been denied and she no longer felt worth anything at all, her palace had been set on fire and the only thing keeping the flames at bay from spreading to the kingdom was the moat that now dried up. For a time, she thought she could still live in that palace, still survive on her throne.

Fiona Wethersett had done it so easily that Lily was so envious.

Stopping at a nearby window in a hall void of people, Lily looked out it. Everyone was rushing inside from the torrent. Glancing out at the lake, she saw that it was empty—vacant. She could have gone now except that she would be running for that lake hysterically enough to make anyone cast a second or third glance. Attention was not what she needed right now, right now she felt like she needed to be shot in the head as if it were a legal drug.

Continuing down the halls, she soon came across a hallway that she vaguely remembered. Yes, this hallway, was the hallway she spent the night playing silly games with James and the rest of the Marauders. This hallway was the one where a simple game of hide and seek had crossed her nerves as to what happened. Back then, she was playing by a game that she knew so well and was so very good at. Now, she seemed to be lost in that same game and losing round after round. Her life was not the same as that girl's life—that girl who ran around with the Marauders on the night of the Halloween ball.

That girl and herself, they were one and the same, yet she realized she could _never_ be _that_ girl ever again. That Lily Evans, the Lily Evans that walked these halls with poise and grace like a queen had degenerated into what she was now—a manic, love-sick fool.

Touching the wall softly, it swung open, revealing the pathway she had trekked down only once before. Glancing around for anyone, she entered the musty halls and lit up her wand—something she had vowed to carry since returning to school. This was mainly because she found it rather sickening how she had to rely on others having their wands at all times. In this Lily felt more muggle than witch sometimes. Of course, she would leave this world of magic behind for everything muggle possible now. There her life would be complete. She would leave this place behind… after all, a marriage proposal still existed.

Walking down the hall, she felt a breeze touch her face and smelled the sweet smell of dust and decay on the wind. Retching a bit, Lily covered her nose and mouth, coughing until the breeze passed and she arrived at the same old, moulding door that James had hidden themselves away in that night to avoid being found. Later on she found out that using that passage was against the rules; however she also found out that James Potter never much listened to silly rules like that.

Opening the door, she saw the same contents within it except with a new addition. In the centre of the room stood a large full-length mirror with gilded edges forming a frame of golden ivy leaves with snakes intertwined here and there. This mirror reminded her of a similar mirror that she had seen in Hogsmeade in that odd antique shop. As she circled around it, she saw that every time she passed around it she never saw her reflection. The mirror had no back and was simply double-sided, so there was nothing about it of the extraordinary that told her this mirror was anything but ordinary.

An ordinary mirror in an ordinary room in an extraordinary school.

After circling around it three times, she stopped right in front of it, where she had started. This time, however, she saw her reflection. It was an ordinary reflection, and yet it didn't seem so ordinary. Whatever magic this mirror contained she would surely find out if nothing more than for her own curiosity and need of something to take her mind off certain things.

The door behind her opened and she saw as much from the reflection in the mirror and Lily turned to see it still closed. Turning back to look, her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat as she saw James Potter walk up beside her, putting his hands in his pockets. Lily knew he was not there beside her and yet she looked nonetheless—there was no one here besides her and this silly beautiful mirror.

"Lily," he said, as clear as if he were really there. Lily froze to the spot, unaware of what to do. "You want me to say something, don't you? You want me to return the silly 'I love you's' and the stupid 'forget me not's' don't you? That's what you'd like, isn't it? Sadly, I can't do that, I'm not really in love with you, and I'm not really James Potter. However, I could be. I could be _your_ James Potter if you let me."

Unable to find words to tell herself that she wasn't going crazy, that this mirror was not talking to her, that her sanity was not at risk, she merely stood there, absolutely afraid to even comprehend to respond to that. Really, how could she? There was only one James Potter in this world and he did not love her like she did him.

James wrapped his arms around her and Lily could feel it that she almost swore that he were there and this was a real reflection of him. He leaned his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes.

"I wouldn't mind being your Potter, however, the question is, my darling flower, do you mind?" he whispered in her ear and Lily could almost feel the breath on her ear. "Tell me again, let me hear it. I want to know."

The image shifted slightly as the mirror rippled and she saw herself, in the same position that James was in before. The look on her face, the look on that girl's face was patronizing, it was pitying, it was pitying this real image of her. A fake was pitying the real thing. She rested her chin on Lily's shoulder, burrowing her face into her neck as her long red locks of perfectly straight hair fell down over Lily's shoulders.

"Tu me fais pitié," she whispered quietly into her ear, tightening her grip around Lily's shoulders.

Her lip quivered and Lily felt fear a slow, escalating fear that came from her feet—rooting them to the spot. A swarm of emotions struck her and she felt like she was drowning, drowning as she saw the image ripple once more and the image of James came back. He opened his eyes and she stared into their hazel depths—feeling as if she would drown in a sea of cold hazel. This feeling, knowing that these hazel eyes were the eyes of James Potter, knowing that they were the same eyes she had effectively drowned in before, it was relaxing. Yet, this relaxation was a familiar relaxation she had learned to love from the rain. It was the relaxation you could only get from despair so deep you drowned in it and you would love it.

"Tell me again, Lily, who do you love?"

"You," she said, barely a whisper, her lips barely moving.

The mirror rippled again and her other self came back, wearing a long red dress. "Tu me fais pitié," she said once more. "You're just a silly child, playing with bullets. This boy…"

"…I have the gun. These bullets, they're beautiful, Lily. Just like you."

Lily broke away from the grip and turned to see nothing and no one there. Turning back to the mirror, she saw the image of herself there, as she was, reflected. Tears came to her eyes and Lily reflexively touched her face. It was dry as a bone. There was something about this situation, something horribly familiar about this situation that scared her. It didn't just scare her, it frightened the living daylights out of her. Lily's pupils dilated and yet her eyes were fixated on that mirror on that image of her crying.

As if she were the mirror, tears soon came to her eyes as they misted over.

Lily closed her eyes and screwed her mouth shut, afraid she might scream.

When she opened her eyes again, she was in a world of grey. It looked like time had stopped in the middle of a storm. The water on the surface was in mid-ripple and the leaves coming off the tree behind her stood in still motion. Lily looked around. She recognized this place and yet she couldn't place it.

"Ma fleur, tu me fais pitié. Truly. You are someone who should be pitied."

Lily whirled around and saw the image of herself in the red dress. A black rose was set in her hair and a black one was also in her hand. Walking towards Lily, she held the rose up and placed it behind her ear, pinning her hair back. "You've forgotten how sweet the roses smell."

She shifted and there stood James, wearing a black tuxedo. "Far too lost in your fantasy of love."

Finally coming to her senses, Lily glared and took a step back. "What is this place? Where am I? Who are you people?"

James smiled—it was a smile that, she knew, James was physically capable of, yet it was something that would never be seen on James. It was a smile of pure malice and harmful intent. Holding out a hand to her, the smile changed to the usual charming smile she knew so well. "My dear, I am you," he replied, his image splitting to show herself in the same position—with her hand held out to her.

"I am your greatest fears," she said, her eyes glistening greener than ever.

"I am your greatest aspirations," he said, the solid chunks of hazel crystallizing even further until there were cracks.

"You, my dear, are your own misery. This mirror is a special one. This frozen grey world, it's your own doing. You live in a world of magic. You can never go back to being normal. Who are you? Petunia?" she said with a laugh.

James looked away from her, to the lake. "No, she's different. This is royalty we are speaking to. I'll tell you straight, Lily, this mirror is a curiosity. Good people see good things. Evil people see evil things. Sad people see sad things. Above all else, this mirror serves a purpose. A purpose so deviant that it has been locked away in the confines of this school—a school that has more security and more secrets than all of Gringott's."

Her reflection nodded as she turned her back to James. "It's a mirror that those who wear the face of death use. Last time you were here, it rained blood, do you miss it? The rain?"

As if on cue, it started raining and everything started to become painted red. Lily looked at her hands as they started to drip with blood. Her reflection laughed while James just smiled and gave her a bow. "Enjoy this rain, my darling, for you've lost your umbrella forever."

A gun appeared in James' hands and her reflection took a step away from him, arms spread wide open. The red liquid that rained from the sky seemed to pool quickly as it was rapidly climbing up past her knees. Holding the gun up at her image, he smiled.

"Show me your love, James, show me your love! Show your love to her highness!" she declared; a manic look and smile painted on her face.

A gunshot sounded and her image started to fall backwards, splashing into the red liquid, disappearing beneath its depths. Within a split second, James turned the gun on her even as the image of herself being shot and falling still lingered in her mind. The red waters finally were up past her shoulders and at her chin; it only just covered her mouth as her eyes widened in fear.

Lily screamed.

Opening her eyes, she found herself on the floor, coughing hysterically. Holding a hand to her mouth, she saw that her hands were still coated red and her clothes were soaked of it, as she coughed up the red liquid that had entered her system. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw that her eyes were bloodshot and blood soaked down her eyes.

Getting up frantically, she found that she was out of breath and her heart was racing. Looking around, she walked around the mirror. The back of the mirror was black and nothing except the gold rim of snakes, attached from head to tail was visible from the front along with the actual mirror.

Turning away from the mirror, Lily started walking—ignoring the pool of blood that had marked where she had been.

_"Tu me fais pitié,"_ she heard, echoing behind her ear as a whisper.

Lily's eyes widened significantly. Fear like she had never known before entered her system and she did not know why—for all the fame and popularity in the world she did not know why. Hearing these words frightened her senseless. The fact that there was blood on her hands, in her hair, soaking through her robes, it felt all too real, smelled too much of something familiar that Lily had never thought of before. It was a line she dared not ever cross—not even in her thoughts and never in her dreams.

When this happened, Lily bolted.

Tearing past through the dusty hall, she ran into the cement wall at the end as it swung open and she landed on her hands and knees on the floor, staining it red, on the opposite side—back upon the game board in a game she had forgotten the rules to. Tears fell from her eyes and she was only aware of them now—realizing that she must have been crying the entire time—whether they came out as blood or actual tears.

Getting up, she leaned against the wall and could now feel that she was, indeed, crying as her body convulsed and shuddered while her body gasped for air. Fear still gripped her and she pushed off the wall shakily, walking slowly down the halls, her destination the Heads Rooms. It started slowly until her feet eventually went into a mechanical motion and picked up speed, feeling that if she did not get there fast enough she might never get there at all until she eventually broke into a run.

Lily ran crying down the halls, everything passing by her in a blur of people, things and portraits as she caught the stares of everyone—and not those of admiration. Curiosity was written on their faces and concern had coated it over falsely. None cared about her; they cared to know about her. So when she ran right into someone and fell to her knees, muttering a reflexive apology she found she could not find the strength to do much more than sit there and bawl for all she was worth.

"Lily, love, hush, hush… what's the matter? Darling, you look terrible! What could have possibly—"

"He said no!" she said loudly. Alicia had looked around for any bystanders and, when confident that nothing would be heard, she turned back to her friend, who had stopped her hysterical crying and instead calmed down to shuddering breaths.

Shock reflected clearly in her friend's eyes. "We need to get you cleaned up first at the Hospital Wing. I have no idea what's happened but you don't seem hurt considering the way you came down this hall like a banshee. After that I will deal with Sirius for you," she said softly. But of course Alicia Rose wouldn't understand; she didn't even _know_ the entire situation at hand. Alicia didn't even know who _he_ was. Alicia didn't know, she could never know and Lily had sworn the moment that boy said no that nobody would ever know.

Lily held her face in her hands and leaned her forehead against the cold stone floor. "He said no…" she whispered again—mainly to herself, tears still falling from her face.

A hand stroked her back in a reassuring manner while her hair was being pulled out away from her face. Alicia could do no more for her than this. Broken hearts were not her specialty to mend. She could only comfort Lily and make her more comfortable in her misery.

"You prat!" Alicia suddenly called out, making Lily stop completely at the sound. "How _dare_ you!" she cried out viciously, pure anger in her tone of voice.

Someone else came closer as Lily could feel the tense situation start to build. There was no other that Alicia Rose would yell that vehemently at. There was only one that Alicia Rose knew to direct her anger to.

Lily sat up and turned back to look in the bewildered eyes of Sirius Black and saw shock and amazement. Eyes that once only shone with adoration, with love and with every kind of respect for her were now staring at her surprisingly—at her image soaked in tears of blood and stained with pain. Finally, the perfect image of Lily Evans shattered forever and no one could ever piece back the dust that the glass had become.

Sirius Black was the last person she wanted to see her like this, the last person she wanted to speak to. There was no telling what his reaction to all this would be. Naturally, without her crown, Sirius Black would not care for Lily Evans; poor Lily Evans who had fooled everyone and earned the fast love and admiration of everyone only to lose it like this. Sirius Black would not want to be her King any longer. Those deceitful eyes of his told her as much.

Now she didn't have James and would never have even Sirius.

Getting to her feet with alacrity she continued to tear down the halls, eventually stopping at the Heads room portrait, screaming the password out several times until it swung open and she dashed inside, tripping and falling short of the stairs to her room. Lying there, she cried and cried until her eyes ran dry and she could hear the pounding on the portrait door from the people outside who wanted to be there for her.

No one could possibly be there for her. Not for Lily Evans who swore to forever be alone that moment on. No one could heal and fix the wounded and broken Lily Evans. No one could turn off that blinking twelve 'o clock on her screen. No one could take her clock and wind it backwards so that it may tick.

Not now anyway.

Faintly, Lily could hear the shouts of Alicia Rose to vainly gain entry. The portrait of the two original Heads of Hogwarts remained silent, not allowing access to anyone—password or not. This was not a matter that they wished to intervene in, but they felt compelled so very much to that they did.

Getting to her feet slowly, she leaned on the rails of the stairs heavily, feeling all the pain and defeat simply weigh her down. Managing to get to the top of her stairs, she slowly made her way to the balcony and threw the doors open forcefully, shattering the glass and letting the rain and wind blow into the room in a large torrent. Falling to her knees again, she lie down on the wet cement and let the rain fall on her as the wind settled—leaving only the sound of rain falling all around. Lily was only vaguely aware of the diluted red waters that dripped from the balcony where she lay.

In the midst of all that misery and suffering and pain, Lily listened to the sound of the voice that sung out the sweet melody of nothing to her. Eventually, her tears halted and her body was still as she let the rain soak into her robes and hair, matting them both to her face and body. Thunder boomed overhead and she soon couldn't even tell whether she were still crying or not as she felt her body start to go numb with cold starting at her extremities.

"Lily Evans… I'm Head Girl… top marks… top on the list… loved… adored… popular… I have all this and I have nothing. I have lies and deceit… I have no's and I have everything. I have no family… I have no sister… no home… and no James Potter… I have only this rain; this forever rain where I forever live alone."

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

-closes eyes and braces herself-

Comments:

Glorious. That is all I can say: Glorious. Even if all the world hates it, I love it to the very last period.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.

P.S. Imagine a lake. Now imagine that falling where I live. Basements are flooded, streets are closed and the city has declared it a disaster. I come home soaked every other day. Unpleasant.


	29. Spring Rains

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Spring Rains

Let's talk about change.

Change; it happens. You win, you lose, you smile you cry. It's there, it happens, whether you're ready for it or not, it will never cease to fail to knock you off your feet. It's that kick in the teeth that you need, that breath of fresh air, that summer breeze on a winter day. It looked impossible in every way, but it happened because it had authority and it was change, and change—ironically enough—could never, itself, change. It was the only constant in the universe. It could not simply up and decide that it would no longer change anything. The world would become a stagnant refuse heap had it decided to _not be change._

It's that summer breeze in the winter that you find curious. It's impossible; as such seasons hardly hated each other but hardly held any like or love for each other either. However, there would never be a summer breeze on a winter's day.

So Lily told herself.

Quite surprisingly enough, and world-shattering enough, she had found that summer breeze in her seemingly endless winter rain—another impossibility. It was light, it was refreshing, it was bringing spring—spring that would lead to summer—to a place where summer breezes were prevalent and routine in every way. It would also bring the rains of spring that preceded that summer.

That summer breeze was James Potter.

Her James Potter.

Slowly, surely, he had made imperfection out of flawless perfection. Lily was no longer perfect. She was no longer the girl with everything and nothing. She was no longer sitting in the rain being miserable. Finally, she was able to say the truth about the rain when she replied to someone her fascination to it.

'It's very soothing' she would say, and now, she knew, that she meant it. The rain fell upon her smooth skin in a cool refreshing downpour. Washing her clean, washing her thoughts clean, and washing her clean. It didn't leave her with nothing to think about but her misery anymore, it left her something—someone—else to think about. It was grand, it was beautiful, it was happy and wonderful and any other description or synonym you could possibly imagine for love.

Regardless, a tear fell down her face.

Lily loved James.

James did not love Lily.

At least, not in that manner.

Never in that manner.

For James Potter loved no one in that manner, even though he's managed to make the most popular girl at school smitten silly with him and his unique and unpopular charms.

It was her frustration.

It was her new misery.

Lily had not stepped outside her room since that day, since that frustrating, life-shattering day. Surely, she had lost it by now, lost her crown, lost her kingdom, lost her throne and downright lost it all. It didn't matter right now, however, because if she didn't have James, silly little things like a plastic crown in a plastic castle with plastic people were of insignificant value to her. She had not left the sanctity of her room to deal with that mess out there, to deal with the utter chaos that must be ensuing.

Partially, Lily had also not left her room in two weeks because she had fallen asleep on her balcony only to wake up on that same balcony to an overcast—but dry sky—and a severe headache promising very painful returns. This had been the worst two weeks of her life and she had spent it sick in bed with only misery for company as the saying went.

Day after day, however, she left a note on the front of her door telling James that she would not be attending classes that day—and day after day, the new note she would have written disappeared.

Some part of Lily hoped that he was miserable—that he was guilty and that he felt absolutely sick with himself for doing what he did to her. Some days she felt spite towards him, felt frustration and even anger towards that silly boy; telling herself just that—that he was a silly boy. A silly boy not worth her time, her effort or her love. Days like these she could stop crying and continually heard herself screaming within the depths of her mind, as if it was hollowed out and sound carried forever in a day through the vast emptiness.

Of course, another part of her could only repeat that same sentence he had told her that day—that same terrible sentence that carried out that same terrible melody that denied her a thousand times over. When she heard that, Lily could only feel the pain of rejection tenfold, like a poison that was now simply sapping her life away or a cut on her arm that was bleeding her dry. Days like these, she wanted nothing more than to forget—to forget that life ever happened to Lily Evans.

Today, however, Lily felt good enough to walk, to run and even to scream to the heavens of her frustration. Her eyes had long run out of any more tears—for her limit of tears to be cried over James Potter had long ago extended above and beyond. Reasonable sense told her that she should make attempts to regain her, by now, crumbled social status enough to live reasonably in society the rest of the year. Common sense told her that her schoolwork was long overdue—regardless of keeping up with the work that no one else but James had set in front of her door.

Reason and common sense, however, were the ones who had told her that this boy needed to be informed of how much he affected her—of how much she loved him.

Instincts had been tossed out the window to the voice of her reason and her common sense, which did not seem so sensible after all.

Sitting up in bed, Lily looked around hazily. The windows to her balcony were closed and she couldn't ever remember closing them, or even moving to bed last night after sitting out in the rain and effectively falling asleep in it again as she did that first day. Perhaps she had woken up sore earlier in the day and moved to bed to forget the precious moments she was conscious enough to move.

Focusing her eyes on her vanity desk, she saw the letter that she had written a long time ago. The name _James Potter_ was printed on the front and Lily sighed at it. How could she have forgotten _that_ dubious piece of paper? Getting up out of bed, she picked up the letter and tore it in two—envelope and all.

"Change can stuff itself," she said brashly—it was a common phrase she had thought extremely rude the first time she heard it but now found extremely useful. "It has never done anything good to me but cause me misery and a broken heart. Since change has happened when James Potter waltzed into my perfect life, he must be change. Therefore, James Potter can stuff himself."

The sad unfortunate fact of this matter was that Lily's life was hardly perfect before James entered it and was only perfect for a few precious moments when he was in it before he left and left it more imperfect than he walked into it as. Yes, that boy was definitely not a positive force in her life, Lily concluded. Thus he should be avoided like the plague. Her heart had won enough battles and it was time her head started to think again.

It was time to kick James Potter off the ice so she could refreeze it.

With this in mind, Lily quickly got ready and dressed herself, getting herself prepared as she might for any day of school before James Potter ever happened. Transfigurations would be first on the schedule today and she would probably fail that class anyway if it weren't for Alicia's top of the class help. Thankfully, Lily could always hold it over her head that she was far better at Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts than Alicia was.

Leaving her room—the one she had practically lived in for two weeks, she descended the steps, taking no notice of James sitting on the couch, reading an advanced DADA book. Upon leaving the room as quickly as she might have as if she never knew the boy, Lily entered the hall, feeling a new sense of self, feeling like her life had not changed, feeling like she had effectively kicked all the change out of her life—which was precisely what she did.

"Lily!" a surprised voice came from behind her. Lily instinctively knew who this was and turned to face him, a smirk on her face and an eyebrow cocked as if ready to shoot him.

"Sirius Black, _always_ a pleasure," she said sarcastically.

There was worry drawn all over his face and she could tell that Alicia gave him the rap for it without him ever probably realizing why. "What happened to you? You've disappeared like a bat afraid of the sun for two weeks. I've been worried."

Lily sighed, looking away from him and out a window. "I caught a cold, can you believe that? First few days back from school and I catch a cold and become comatose for the better part of a month."

Frowning, concern seemed to pour from his eyes as he held hers with his own. "Lily, are you alright? All that blood…" he muttered quietly.

Huffing with a disinterested air, Lily sighed. "Why wouldn't I be?" she asked airily, realizing full well how clipped her manner was. It was not with the graceful, smooth and playful tones she had used with him at the beginning of the year, nor was it the irritable tone she had used on him when relations to James Potter began.

No, they had reverted back to calm and cool, just like first year when she spoke to him.

Sirius frowned, folding his arms. "Well, for one, I saw you in Hogsmeade that day and you went over _technicality_ rubbish, then not an hour later I saw you spooked as if a banshee had bitten your head off with the blood to prove it and were crying the Nile River. Lily, please, what happened that day?"

Frowning herself, Lily shook her head at him. "Happen? I don't recall. Now, I am late for breakfast, if you don't mind, and will surely be late for Transfigurations. Now, as much as I'd love to stay and chat with the likes of you, Sirius Black, I have grander things to attend to."

Like surveying what happened in her absence.

Walking off on him, ignoring whatever desperate comment he might have made to her right then as rubbish—and therefore something to be ignored—Lily made her way through the familiar halls to arrive at the Great Hall, where breakfast was currently being attended to. Glancing up at the teachers table, she saw that all her teachers noticed her return—as there was only a few individuals in the school with hair her colour other than herself. After they all cast a glance—McGonagall the longest—they returned to their business.

Breakfast as usual.

Sitting down next to Alicia Rose, as if the most natural thing in the world, Lily prepared herself a piece of toast, buttering it. None of the girls took much notice of her arrival however—Keily Hawkes was beside some boy she had never seen before and Patricia Ryerson and Samantha Greenwood were nowhere in sight. Emily Richardson was listening to Alicia with rapt attention.

Alicia was the only one who cast her a smile before turning back. Lily inwardly frowned remembering that was how she once acknowledged someone's presence at the table when just arriving.

"It's a very grand affair, you see. They say Quidditch is the game of commoners, but what do they really know? They grew up without it. I, for one, am a Chaser on the house team and I must say it beats any muggle sport you might find amusing. Don't you think, Evans?" she asked cordially, looking towards Lily.

Alicia knew the rules very well and knew far better than to bring up her issues among others so openly—especially in this society where rumours did not just fly, instead blinking like light bulbs. Lily smiled back at her and shrugged. "I've never been one for sports as much, although I have to agree that it trumps any muggle sport. Trust me, I know, I've had to endure them all."

Emily turned her attention finally to Lily. "What kind of sport do you enjoy, Lily?"

Pursing her lips, she took a bite of toast before continuing on. "I can't say very well that I _enjoy_ any sport; watching, however, is another matter entirely. Don't you agree?"

Alicia and Emily nodded, smiling. They both wanted things to go back to the way they were—normal. It was something they were prepared for, something they had recognized since last year. Lily was meant to hold that golden crown, to sit upon that golden throne. Any less would be unacceptable to both. And yet this school was so prepared to face change that it forgot entirely about keeping the standard it set.

Already Lily could see that the standards she set upon this school were crumbling—and just by glancing around the Great Hall for a sum total of ten seconds.

Such was the flimsiness of structure; like an Eiffel tower made of toothpicks.

"Absolutely. Now, I really must get going, I have a previously arranged appointment with one Mr Jordan," she said, already getting up.

Alicia nodded in agreement. "Excellent. Lily and I have some things to discuss anyway; we'll see you later, Emily," she said sweetly. Just like real roses, however, Alicia had very sharp, very pointy very hypothetical thorns that were much worse than the real thing. "Now, Evans, it's a lovely day out, let's take a walk shall we?"

Frowning, recognizing this quick change of pace, Lily looked away, only staring at her out of the corner of her eyes. Indirect eye contact was the first way to avoid any and all awkward situations that encounters with would have a high chance of ending badly. "It is a wretched day out, Rose; you are quite mistaken in that."

And Lily Evans had no intentions of ending this day badly.

"Nonsense; it is raining, the sky is overcast and we shall take a walk—if not outside throughout the halls," she said firmly, getting up and pulling Lily along with her with vice so strong it could have shattered diamonds. Normally, Lily would take this grievous assault to heart, however her heart was left crying by the lake in the rain and would be left for dead as far as she was concerned.

Perhaps that was taking it to an extreme, but Lily always thought badly of those that played with good intentions and wishes of others—giving their love away so freely. Respect and adoration were easy things to acquire and give away, but love was a woman's greatest treasure and meant to be given away whole—not in tattered pieces that have traded hands like a commodity. True love, she had always imagined, was the precious reward for guarding your love.

However, this boy held no regard for such things and threw it back at her with all the force of a lightning bolt it seemed.

After being forced to take up her horrendous offer, Lily found herself in an iron-bound link with Alicia Rose by the arm. For the majority of it, Lily gave back reflexive responses, straining a smile in the presence of her aching arm. Alicia had not relented her Quidditch-ironed grip upon her arm and Lily feared the poor muscle tissue there had finally died from lack of circulation. To say the least, the entire thing was an exhausting matter.

After some time, they came up upon the Astronomy tower roof—a place that Lily sorely avoided at all costs. Since broom-flying lessons in their first year she had found an extreme fear of heights and the possibility to fall from one very much possible from a broom. The Astronomy tower was the tallest tower in Hogwarts and—regardless of the walls surrounding it like a fence—she dare not climb upon it. Perhaps the only reason she never took the course.

Thus it was an odd sight to see Lily on the Astronomy tower—much less the large roof that covered the stairs from rain.

"So… Lily, to the heart of things, shall we? How are you doing? With… you know, the accident and all," she said awkwardly. Alicia Rose had dealt with many things, but death was not her forte in the slightest.

An answer came quickly to her mind and Lily vaguely looked at the rest of the cards in her hand. She had been dealt a good hand today, it seemed. No hearts, teardrops or no's. "It's… an unwelcome change. What more can I say of it? I've only known them through letter and in my childhood. I am the sole owner of the Evans affairs and estates now; I should feel some twisted form of pride, shouldn't I? Yes, of course, that's what's expected," she said, answering herself.

Alicia nodded—her lack of skill on the subject accepting this as an answer. "Well, maybe. It's alright to cry about it every now and then, they were precious to you, yes?"

"Yes," Lily said reflexively.

Truth of the matter was that both Diane and Tristan were so busy with their work that they were only available to be parents on three occasions of the year—a month in December and a week during the girl's birthdays. The most frequent sentence they had ever said to either girl was not so much 'I love you' as it was 'Make us proud.' When it started or how it started, Lily didn't know, but since childhood, that was all she had ever wanted to do with her life. Make them unbelievably proud of her.

"Anyway, what about… him? You know… Sirius. He absolutely denied any claims I made, but the look on his face just…" Alicia sighed, shaking her head in dismay, "I can't believe I've misjudged him so badly. I'm so very sorry, Lily, and I probably was the one who wanted it most."

Lily smiled. Perhaps she should come clean. Perhaps this girl should finally know the truth. After all, wasn't Alicia her closest friend? Wasn't she supposed to know everything about her? So why was it that it often felt like Alicia knew nothing about her? Well, simply put, because she hadn't gotten too in-depth on the topic of herself and sharing it with this girl. Such a concept seemed far too foreign.

"Could I ask you something?"

"What is it?" Lily replied, still thinking over her problem. Perhaps these matters really should be closed to the exclusive ring of confidants that included only her.

"What… what happened?"

Lily smiled in the melancholy of it all—it was a drama like she had never known but knew to be on television. Never indulging in that rubbish didn't mean she didn't know what happened on them. Ridiculous shows about fleeting love and fleeting infatuations never caught her fancy. Even the stories of princes and white horses and knights she was read as a child never quite touched her in the same way that it touched many others with their heartbreaking heroines.

Well, a question like this, naturally, had to have an answer.

"I told that boy I loved him—loved him dearer than I've ever loved anything and, well, he said no. Of all things… I never expected a No. It's… probably more shocking than anything, I think," she said honestly. Sure, it had broken her heart and scattered her feelings to the four winds with lock and key, yet the initial feeling she had when he uttered those words with that straight and so very serious face that she was simply shocked to her core. It was like lightning had struck her over and over again and charged her soul to the core. It was definitely a new feeling—a new level of shock.

Alicia was also not an expert in the issue of love—she had found hers on the first shot. Made a bulls-eye with her first dart. She was going to marry that boy, Sean Patil. If anything they would probably have twin boys knowing her. They would be twins and be the most silent, most charming individuals in this school and have two completely different girls smitten silly with them. Of course, this was merely Lily's guess at her happy future. Lily could see nothing of her own.

"Well… isn't that a quandary? Certainly… there are others, yes? I mean, Sirius… he's not… the only one out there for you."

"Certainly, there are," she replied easily. "But… no, I am done with this and that. I am finished with foolish ideals. I'm done with chasing things that will never occur. I'm done with rushes and crushes that will never come to fruition. Perhaps that's all it was—a silly little crush. I've always hated crushes, you know. I always told myself that the one I fall for I'll fall hard for because he would be the one. It seems… _that boy_ is not the one and I've ended up a fool in this matter."

Alicia was silent, taking in all the information. After some time, the overcast sky rumbled and that snapped her out of her daydream, it seemed. "That… is a sad thing indeed, love. You two would have made such a fine pair."

"It is not really Sirius Black, I hope you know. And, no, we don't. In fact, I'll be cursed if I ever speak _his_ name ever again. Sirius may be the poison of the devil, but at least drinking from the devil's cup won't warrant death. I'm actually very exhausted, Alicia—I must be if I am not terrified out of my mind at this height. Perhaps falling seems less scary now…" she said quietly, not adding the roaming thoughts in her head that allotted to this feeling.

"Hold on, who is this boy, then?" she said quickly, turning to Lily's retreating back.

Lily shook her head. "Perhaps another time when I've been kidnapped to the Astronomy Tower, of all bloody places," she said with a slight tremor in her voice that seemed to now reverberate loudly in her heart as she began to realize how very high up they were now that her emotions were set aside.

"Well then, I'll see you tomorrow, yes? I hope?" she asked in a quieter tone. "I've been very worried about you these past days."

Lily shrugged and closed her eyes, as she climbed off the tower roof, landing on the ground and just about ready to kiss it. "Perhaps," she returned; non-committal about it.

There were few times that change had drastically come in contact with her life, and she had been all but prepared for it. Returning to her room, Lily opened the doors to her balcony and breathed in the fresh scent of rain on the wind. There would be a storm coming tonight—and it would be like none she had ever seen.

"Storm's coming… somehow I always knew it was…"

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Ghost44: Oh! No pressure! That just makes my head spin even more! I'm kidding, I have a fantastic end to my beloved Rain!

-sighs in relief- Well, yes, thank you all so much! I have to thank you all for not only reviewing, but for sticking with me for so long! I especially thank all of those who have stayed up to ungodly hours ruining your eyes staring at a computer screen only to find out you don't get to know what happens next until I update! I was actually shooting for "I loved it but hated it" sort of thing, so I guess I succeed!

Comments:

It's a little slower paced than the last shocking chapter, but with good reason, I think. Things that destroy your life can't occur every day, I think.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.


	30. Deadly Afflictions

Chapter Thirty: Deadly Afflictions

"Miss Evans! Are the preparations complete?"

Lily sighed, shaking her head. "My dear, dear McGonagall, I have been running around blind as a bat trying to get the preparations complete, if they are not done by this week, I'm afraid our graduating ceremonies will break records on dismal and incomplete."

"I would hope so, Miss Evans. You have run this school fairly well as Head Girl this year, but now it all comes to this. Fiona Wethersett had planned something absolutely marvellous. I am expecting the same level of achievement from you," she said in a haughty manner that only proved to show how anxious she had become. As McGonagall walked off, her large feathered hat swaying to and fro as she walked, chastising Tom Jordon on his arrangement of a flower stand, Lily could swear that the woman had nothing better to complain about now that Lily stayed in from the rain.

Days, weeks, and even a whole two months had passed since her last crushing encounter with James Potter—an individual she would not be sore to never see again. During that time, Lily focused her wasted talents to be more useful—to become far too busy for anything or anyone. It had been a long time since that she realized that having a metaphorical hunk of metal sitting over her head would be useless for life after Hogwarts.

The preparations were already done and about two weeks after her graduation her parent's accounts and businesses would be unfrozen and funds would continue to flow properly through the Evans estate. Lily would move back into the mansion, rent out the house she had lived in for ten years of her life during summers, and be a full time muggle. A good magical education wasted, she thought.

Slowly, things had calmed down, her life had returned to what it always was. The only change was that Lily did not run out into the rain any longer. In fact, one rainy day during Transfigurations, McGonagall had made the comment 'And if our absent Miss Evans were here…' only to turn around and see that she, in fact, was there. It was probably this instant that everyone noticed a change in the lovely Lily Evans.

Every day that passed towards the end of the year, as smiles from classmates came and went, hers steadily disappeared. Lily had slowly begun to realize that, truly, her only life after Hogwarts was what mattered. The people here, the customs here, the societies here—they were all meaningless. In the end, she would have to—possibly—marry Matthew Whitfield; given the conditions that she kept her maiden name. The name 'Evans' had simply swelled too large to simply disappear. With this realization ringing loudly in her head, Lily had consequently given up on her crown. There was no longer any need to maintain it. Within seven years these children had become students and these students had become adults.

They no longer needed a fairytale to gaze at.

"Rose, how are the prefects doing with their part? We graduate in a week, I am hoping for the best from them. I would charm everything myself, but I'm far too busy actually making sure everyone is doing what they're actually supposed to be doing."

Alicia sighed. Lily had not the heart nor the humour to call her anything less than formal. Alicia knew and realized this, but, to keep things from changing, she continued to chastise her on this point. "Lily, darling, my name is not _just_ Rose, you _do_ have permissions to call me Alicia. Yes, the prefects are doing well, everything is being charmed proper. Have no worries, love, everything is going accordingly."

Lily smiled, sighing long and heavily. "Well, that's good then. What's that useless Head Boy doing? Has he got his speech done?"

Alicia shrugged. "I wouldn't know. Ask him yourself, he's on his way over with a bunch of parchment and papers."

Lily turned to see James and raised her eyebrows just slightly—showing her impatience. James, she realized, when given a specific function or task, he did it exceedingly well and thus was in charge of practically everything Lily wasn't doing—which, in hindsight, was more than what she was doing.

"Evans, I need you to sign off on a few things and have a private chat with you about the closing ceremonies," he said, glancing at Alicia as a strong hint.

Alicia sighed and shook her head. "Of course, of course, I'm not even a prefect—yet I volunteer my precious time to help with school affairs, of all things. Alright, I'll see you around, love, James," she said with an errant wave as she walked off.

Sitting down at the nearby table, Lily sighed and shuffled through the stack of papers, pulling out a pen she had from a pocket. Having taken a recent trip home with permissions from the headmaster, Lily had picked up a few essentials—including an alarm clock. Lily was sick of magical life and sick of having to charm and spell things that should, in her honest opinion, just work like they should.

Signing her name in neat cursive next to his on dotted lines here and there and filling in blanks on parchment and paper alike, Lily ran a hand through her long hair. It had become a bit of a habit for her during stressful times and she always played with her hair when she was irritated, annoyed or angry. After the last of the papers were signed, Lily put the pen down and sighed with exhaustion. McGonagall had a leash on her tighter than an iron knot.

"So, Potter, what are your plans for after school? Something grand, I suppose," she started conversationally. It had been a long time since she talked with this boy, and these were the first words she spoke to him after the last highly important three.

James shrugged. "I'll do what my family has done for as long as we can remember. I'll become an auror. My life doesn't belong in the muggle world."

Lily sighed and looked out over at the lake. "Funny that. My life has always belonged to the muggle world. I have no place here."

James opened his mouth to say something, but swiftly changed his mind and closed it. Lily noticed this but paid it no mind. This boy, she knew, would have no more place in her life than he did now. It seemed that he knew this much as well. Change had come and it had left Lily high and dry. There were no more wellsprings for her to wander to and from. The climate that Lily had metaphorically moved to was desert—she would not be needing umbrellas any time soon.

Smiling thoughtfully, James sighed. "It's not my place to say… but I think people here would miss you far too much for that."

Lily stared at him for a moment—stared at the boy who refused her and broke her heart two months ago. James had not changed one bit since. It wasn't until this realization hit that Lily, ultimately, recognized that James Potter was just who he was. There were no underlying motives beneath those hazel eyes or that charming smile. James Potter was James Potter, who he gave you was who he was. There, in fact, was nothing mysterious about him at all. Lily had nearly laughed because she finally saw how very incompatible they were—how horribly incompatible they were.

Her heart just did not care.

Getting up, Lily tapped the papers and handed them back to him. "You have my permissions on these matters. And frankly, Potter, I don't care about the people here and what they may or may not miss."

Leaving him to possibly mull that over, Lily sighed and stood back at the decorations and everything being done today. It was a Hogsmeade weekend as well—weekends that Lily had often disappeared from the face of society in light of less social pursuits. At first, many had questioned where she had come and gone during these weekends until they all eventually came to the common conclusion that they wouldn't ever know and so it would be better not to ask. After all, Lily had a different sort of aura being around her.

Sarcastic comments and thoughts, for one, were no longer kept to the back of her mind.

As she walked on her way to Hogsmeade—as all the seventh years were now off classes in order for much needed studying—Lily couldn't help but wonder what her life would have been like had James said anything other than what he gave her. And when she thought about that she wondered what her life might have been like had she never met James at all.

Something like that was unfathomable.

Impossible.

Undesirable.

Lily was like a caged bird before she met James. James had opened the door to that cage. Now that James was gone, Lily had simply taken to sitting inside her cage, staring at the open door before her—the open door that she had once flown out of so long ago. There was such desperation in her, she realized, to leave the norm, the stuffy, enclosed space she knew to be her life. When it rained she was able to leave the life she knew and enter something so much greater and emptier than she was. Now that James had come and gone, Lily found that she simply wanted her life to be the way it was with only a minor change in detail.

To play at misery was a little girl's game, to know sorrow was something deeper, more soulful and much more memorable.

Truly, she had grown up.

Little games were for little girls.

Lily no longer had time to pity herself crying useless tears in the rain. She no longer had time to sit and contemplate the only crush that passed her heart by. There was no longer even any time to consider what might please her parents most for her parents had been replaced by the stage of the world. In a sense, she was grateful to her parents—grateful to them for teaching her what to expect of this world. This corrupt world where money was law and image was power.

Passing by various shops and stores she knew to be familiar in outward appearance only, Lily found that same antique shop once more. Staring at the objects displayed in the window and beyond through the glass, she saw a golden mirror on for sale. It was framed with two snakes, each connected to the other in a head-to-tail fashion—as if they were eating each other in an endless cycle. Ivy leaves surrounded it, entwining themselves with the snakes.

Staring at the mirror a little longer, Lily saw herself reflected in its surface, wearing a black frilled dress like a doll might with her hair curled and eyes done just so. Her image blinked back at her. A chill ran up her spine and she gasped slightly before continuing down the street at a slightly faster pace.

"…my greatest fears…" she muttered to herself, vaguely recalling what had happened with her first and second encounters with that mirror—both the large and the miniature. "My greatest aspirations…"

As she slowed her rapid speed to an eventual stop, Lily turned back around; staring in the direction she had just come from. All she ever gleaned from that mirror was fear—what aspirations could that stupid mirror give her? To be certain of that required she return and find out. It was odd, she thought, that she didn't even know what she aspired to be. A great lady? A lovely and delicate social butterfly? Envied by all? Precisely… just what did she hope to become—beyond what she had to be—what did she want?

Precisely, what did she want to be?

The more she thought about it, staring at the paved sidewalk that led back to the gold-framed mirror, the more she felt compelled to return. Glancing around her, Lily realized that the street was empty. This street was somehow always empty when she walked it and that had never really occurred to her before now. Reasoning that her image was secure regardless, Lily walked back towards the store slowly at first before she found herself running there, tripping just before her destination.

Lily sighed heavily, wondering just what she was doing.

"Here, let me help you."

Lily turned to see a boy with bright blue eyes and soft golden hair extend a hand to her. He was much older than her and surely graduated already. By his accent it seemed he had studied somewhere other than Durmstrang or Hogwarts. It was unusual, though, for people who attended _that_ school to be working as a store clerk _here_.

Getting up on her own, Lily shook out the dust on herself and looked past him through the window. It was still just a regular mirror. Catching her gaze, the boy sighed. "I told her not to put that thing out on display but she told me that the ghosts told her to do it."

"Her?"

"My grandmother. I'm here to take care of here since my parents were killed." Lily looked away momentarily before she remembered a shocking truth about herself they shared. As he looked at her a moment longer, he started to smile in amusement. "Often… I get phrases along the lines of 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories.'"

Lily looked up at him and stared him straight in the eye, holding his gaze. "Well, aren't you lucky? You still, at least, have a grandmother. I have no family whatsoever."

Smiling sheepishly, he gave a nervous laugh. "Well, it seems I'm the one apologizing in this case. Anyway, won't you come inside for some tea? You British seem to really enjoy your teas."

Lily watched him open the door for her and she walked through as he closed it behind them both. The smell of lavender and other strong spices assaulted her sinuses and she sneezed from the overpowering fumes. There, possibly, was rosemary in the mix—a scent she was allergic to. Odds and ends decorated the shelves as everything from coin displays to statues and music boxes sat as they collected dust.

"You often have visitors?" she asked.

The boy smiled. "No, not often. That mirror you were looking at earlier… would you like to see it?" he asked as he prepared the tea in the back where a wooden table sat with a single rose in a vase for a centrepiece. "It's a… very unique mirror." Lily could only watch his movements as he placed the delicate china in front of her and poured the steaming hot tea.

"Could you tell me more about it? I've… no, never mind," she said, deciding that telling this boy about her run in with the mirror would not be the best choice available to her at the moment.

The boy sighed and gazed over at it as his eyes seemed to mist over slightly with nostalgia. "That mirror… actually, is the one responsible for killing my parents. It shows you horrors beyond your wildest imaginations. These horrors are unique to every person and everyone sees something different of them within its depth. It pulls the conscience of the person into a world designed uniquely for and by them. Truly good people will see only good things, while everyone else sees horrible things—things that are enough to kill a person. It kills the mind and whatever's left of the body might as well be dead. My parents were killed both body and mind. I won't go over the gory details of it all, you understand."

"Perfectly," she said reflexively. "I was told that I would see my greatest aspirations in that mirror… do you know anything of that?"

Sighing he shook his head. "I've heard nothing of that aspect of it, I'm sorry."

Getting up, Lily walked over to the mirror and picked it up, tracing the gilded edge with her finger, turning it over and over as she watched it reflect the pattern in the ceiling. Turning around, she brought it back to the table and spun it a few times on its stand—watching how both mirrored sides were replicas of the other. It was seamless perfection.

"My greatest aspirations…" she repeated.

Suddenly a flash of recognition came over the boy's face and it drew her attention away from the mirror. "Oh, you've been here before. Last… fall, I believe. You were looking at this same mirror, weren't you? Have you found what you're looking for?"

Lily smiled nostalgically—a smile that once graced the halls of Hogwarts practically every day—a smile she was crowned queen for. There was no going back to that smile—too much had happened, too much had passed and Lily couldn't ever regain what she had lost. "I have, but you know… it's funny I lost it so soon."

Giving her a sad smile, he sighed. "Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? Or… are you of a differing opinion, judging by the shrewd look I'm being given?"

Lily averted her gaze. "What is a foreigner doing here?" she asked, changing the subject. "Your school is probably more prestigious than Hogwarts—if that is possible."

"Well, it is a private one, indeed. Not more prestigious than Hogwarts, overall, no—however you'll find only the best of aurors attended mine. It's what the school is designed for—beyond charms, beyond potions, we are built ground up to fight the dark arts."

Lily glanced at him only a moment before her eyes shifted back at the mirror. "How pragmatic. More so in this day and age with crazy wizards people are so afraid to even name."

The boy's eyes and all of his face seemed to smirk at her in amusement. "Do you fear crazy wizards people are so afraid to even name? Would you name him?"

"Voldemort?" she spat. "There are more pressing matters in my life. This world is not mine. I don't care what happens to it. I have been thrown in by fate and chance. This mirror seems to know where that fate will lead me. What do I aspire to become? Exactly…" she added quietly.

Lily stared long into the depths of the mirror, yet it betrayed nothing of herself. The boy continued to stare at her, as if fascinated by the very sight of her. Lily couldn't understand anything about herself anymore. A fog had come and distorted her senses and blocked out her vision. Nothing was certain and everything was vague. This world had nothing left for her. All she could do was follow the dim light ahead of her that led her back to her muggle life—a life that she knew everything about. With that world, with that life, there was no magic, no mystery—certainly no rushes or crushes.

The mirror told her nothing. It merely reflected her image deceivingly. Mirrors were the greatest liars on earth. However, they told unsurpassable truth as well. They cut two ways and both ways proved to be very deep cuts time and again. All Lily could see was what she was at the moment—nothing but a girl who had been forced to grow up entirely too quick. Lily saw the only heir to the Evans estate. Lily saw a lonely girl who just wanted a shred of love from her parents. Lily saw a girl who was ever so lost. Lily saw a girl who knew too little of the real world.

Above all, Lily saw herself.

"What do you see? Are you okay?" he asked, as if he were repeating himself for a second or third time.

Lily snapped her attention away from the mirror, directing her attention to him. "Ah… yes… very well, thank you. This mirror… perhaps… is it broken? If it is used for what you say…"

"I actually don't know how to work it," he interjected. "I've only ever seen it used and what it does to people. As far as I know, all you need to is look into its depths. Perhaps… it only works once."

Twice. It works twice—and possibly a third.

"I see. That is… fortunate," she said, choosing her words wisely. Although image wasn't everything to her now, it was still very key. "What's your name anyway? Oh, I'm sorry; I seem to have misplaced my manners. I'm Lily Evans; it's a pleasure to meet you."

A smile. Swiftly, he took her hand and kissed it gallantly. "The pleasure is all mine. Kurtis, Kurtis Wickstrand. I'm actually Australian, but my father married British. The cultural flavour of jolly old England is too rich for any man to resist."

Lily felt herself smile reflexively. Something about him was so very much like James that she didn't even want to think about it. However, for Lily, there was 'very much' and there 'is.' For Lily, there was no substitute to the boy who broke her heart. All the charm and grace in the world packed into a single man could not charm Lily enough to be worthwhile.

"I'm charmed, Kurtis, truly," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"A man's got to try every now and then. I don't see much of any flavour from the confines of this shop, you understand."

Australian. Lily couldn't tell at first, but now she could properly tell. Before that if sounded like a deformed accent had struck him. By the look of those crisp blue eyes she felt drawn to them. They weren't warm and enticing like hazel. Those sharp and ever so crystal clear blue eyes of his were a lovely net of glass. They pulled you in and you never let go for fear of being cut to ribbons.

"I see. I… I'm sorry, Kurtis, as much as I have grown to like you…"

"Say no more, it will pain my heart. He is a lucky boy, for you'll never find a man like me."

Lily laughed, despite herself. "I think… actually… I am the unlucky one in the matter. It has been a pleasure to meet you. I should be off or McGonagall will have my head, surely," she said getting up. Kurtis took her hand once more and kissed it before saying a few parting comments and following her out the store, waiting by the door as she left.

_"I'll be waiting."_

His last words lingered in her mind. Who would honestly wait for her? A mere delinquent of a boy at Hogwarts didn't even want to wait for her—a mere delinquent of a boy at Hogwarts didn't even _want_ her. Who, then, would possibly _wait_ for her?

It started to rain on her way back to the castle and Lily stopped walking as the first raindrop fell upon her head. Looking up at the sky, she took in the angry mix of grey and white as a flash of thunder stormed in the distance. As a child, Lily had been terrified of thunder. Somewhere along the way she found it had started to dictate her. Thunder would boom and she would come running outside in the downpour to answer it.

As the thunder boomed in the sky, flashing in her eyes, she found that her thoughts simply stopped. Although her feet felt rooted to the spot, she was moving—and unconsciously she knew where to. While her feet guided her, she felt a growing sense of fear, as her pulse quickened and her heart threatened to burst from her chest. Lily eventually came to the lake, the secluded spot by the lake that she had always come to.

When she arrived, in full view of the rippling surface of the waters, her breath became caught in her throat.

James Potter lay down on the grass, hands behind his head staring at the sky—eyes closed. Lily's eyes widened and her vision blurred slightly before wiping the rain away from her face. Hogwarts, in particular, was always subject to the worst of weather patterns. James breathed in and out in even, regular breaths—almost as if he were sleeping. It wasn't until he opened his eyes that Lily knew otherwise. She could only spot a sliver of a glance at his eyes from her angle, but the emotion that swept over her was unmistakable.

Those warm, hazel eyes held nothing but sorrow now.

Taking an involuntary step back, Lily turned and hid behind a tree, covering her mouth with one hand while the other was held fast over her eyes. It seemed like forever until she moved next, removing the hand that impaired her vision. As soon as she did that, she started to breathe easier, slower, calmer—telling her heart to calm down. She had changed, hadn't she? She still loved James, more than anything, but she had given that up, hadn't she?

Just when she had resigned herself and accepted everything… that mystery had crept back once more. It followed her like a paper trail that you weren't ever quite aware of in the first place. Above and beyond all this, however, a single question burned in her mind—a single question she wanted to know the answer to more than anything else. An answer she would have given her soul for at that very moment.

What was James doing here?

Lily wanted to know.

Walking around the tree, she saw him, inert, staring at the sky. Did he know she was there? Was he just playing dumb? Opening her mouth, she promptly shut it, dashing back around the tree, knowing that if he didn't realize her existence before, he surely would now with all the noise se was making.

Lily heard him move.

James had gotten up.

Beyond that, uncertainty.

It was a few more agonizing moments that felt like forever to her. The silence was painful, the wait was excruciating. It felt like every fibre of her being had been pulled taut and left to dry over an open fire. If this kept up, Lily thought, she would turn to ash.

A hand not her own fell on her shoulder and her head swivelled around to meet sad hazel eyes. James simply stood there, his hand barely on her shoulder, staring her in the eyes. He pursed his lips and licked them over and over again, as if trying to form words. He looked away. Once. Twice. A third time. What had gotten into this boy? This boy who was never anything less than confident, nothing short of warm and endearing.

"Lily…"

Unfortunately, that was the only thing Lily heard before she ran away like a loon. Running blindly around trees and various shrubs before crossing the Quidditch pitch and dashing inside the first door to the school she found. Breathing heavily, she calmed her quickened pulse and ran a hand through her wet, tangled hair.

What on earth was James doing there?

* * *

To My Reviewers: 

Hmm. Thank you all very much. I feel so repetitive saying that, but, truly, I am thankful! I also have no such decent excuse as to why this is not up much sooner than it is other than that ever-present force in our lives that drives the economy known as work. It has run me ragged. I am tired. That's really all you need to know.

Comments:

Tsk.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.


	31. Life, Love, and Popularity

Chapter Thirty-One: Life, Love and Popularity

The next few days were not as painful as they were troublesome.

Lily had made a great deal of effort to avoid James—as he had made a habit of cornering her when and if he had the chance. Whatever he had to say, she didn't want to hear it. She had given up on that boy, she had given up on that foolish flight of love and she had, more than anything, given up on herself. There was nothing to salvage, nothing to piece back together. Lily had taken a broom and dustpan to the shattered statue of glass and swept it up and away. All that remained now was an empty frame where a mirror once stood.

Lily hadn't even the energy to look at herself these days. Resignation had hit her harder than anything ever could and she could feel the sheer weight of it all just drag her down in these last few days of school. Today was the closing ceremonies and she hadn't seen James all morning. There was no note left in his absence or even explanation as to why he wasn't there. No one even asked her where he had gone. It was as if James Potter never existed or had no part in this from the beginning.

Thus, Lily stood offstage—alone—to give the closing speech to the school.

"You'll be amazing, love, just give it your all! Everybody loves you; they'll love anything you say! Besides, even if they hate it terribly, you'll never hear a word of it. They're all still too stuck up on yesterday. What a blast!" Alicia said, attempting to coach non-existent confidence into Lily as she stood backstage, preparing to give her speech to the graduating class. It was their last day here. Beyond today, nothing mattered. After today, Lily would return to her rightful place and manage the estate. Past today, Lily Evans would only exist in the magical world on record and paper—if even that existed.

As the Headmaster and McGonagall finished up their speeches and presentations, Lily walked on stage, a smile reflexively coming to her face—making her look as brilliant as she did the first day she walked into Hogwarts as Head Girl. The students all stared up at her. Some were dazed; some were still drunk; some had gotten freshly drunk that very morning, a fraction was sober.

Despite all that, they still looked on at her admirably. As she stood up onstage, looking her absolute best, smiling her absolute best, she couldn't help but hear their thoughts of her almost unanimously.

_I wish I were her._

It filled her with a sense of euphoria like no other she knew. It felt grand, it felt wonderful and lovely. It felt like the old days she knew so well and reigned so well in with an iron fist. Lily's life had been nothing like that since James' rejection of her. All prospects of love had been washed down the drain and Lily knew that, in reality, she was no longer queen of this school. However, for just a few moments, as everyone stared up at her and her regal authority, Lily felt like queen once more.

"Friends, classmates and teachers, it has been a _long_ and arduous year for us all. We've all been late—well, except for you, Richardson, you're never late to class—we've all been tested, and we've all, heaven forbid otherwise, passed. You've all done such a splendid job this year; wonderful work all around. Make your mothers proud, I'm sure. Now, with all that nonsense pushed aside, and all this nonsense of school pushed behind us, we enter here the true test. This is a test that we will never, I hate to say it, pass. The test of life is forever and I'm sure we will all succeed in it no matter where we go. Hopefully you will take with you the nuggets of wisdom that our beloved educators have given us along the way and remember the lifelong lessons that your friendships and experiences here have given you. Never forget you graduate from the best, and never forget that only you can replace you. To Hogwarts graduating class, I, Lily Evans, as your proud Head Girl, congratulate you all on a job splendidly done!"

Cheers rang throughout the air unanimously.

Everyone was happy.

Everyone was smiling.

Tonight would be the official celebrations where boys would be dressed top to toe in black and white while ladies would be dressed up like china sets. It would be a grand, sordid affair with as much liquored punch as you could drink. Lily had caught glimpses of the revelries that went on last year and she turned her nose on it. Something like that was for those of improper breeding, she had thought at the time.

Markedly, her thinking hadn't changed since.

Lily crept away backstage and sighed once she saw Alicia. Alicia was smiling and clapping her hands. "Good work for having nothing prepared beforehand, darling. They still all love you. It's a shame that James couldn't be here."

"I heard. Why not? McGonagall was stuffy with the details of it all."

A shocked look graced her face. "You don't know? He's been accepted into the school at Kingston—the best auror training school this side of the world. James leaves today; packed up last night, in fact. Said a few good byes to me, assured me that he would still visit every summer and such. Hey, Lily, wait—where are you going?"

Lily didn't know when, how or where, but she had pulled strings and managed to make it to the train station. Her driver followed closely behind her. Lily was leaving today too, right after the ceremonies. Business at the estate required her immediate attention concerning the companies under the Evans' influence and control. The accounts had a bit of trouble to be dealt with.

As she ran onto the platform, she easily saw James, standing in plain sight with nothing but a carry-on bag with him.

Foolishness had caused her to fall from her crown—fall from grace. Carelessness had caused her pain and suffering. Rejection had brought her to her knees crying. Love had taken everything from her. All these conspiring forces had made a ruin of her life—had brought her nothing but confusion and misery. It wasn't a wonder her life had turned out the way it did, she realized. There was still a single driving force that had lingered within her all this time that pushed her and prodded her enough to take action. Because she was a fool she lost her title; because she was careless her life was blended like a smoothie; because she was rejected the tears hadn't stopped. Love had brought her here. Because she was still in love Lily persisted on.

"James!" she yelled out, causing him to turn around. James was slightly caught off-guard before smiling back at her in that same way he used to. Walking up to him, she smiled. "I… I'm… I apologize. Truly, I am sorry."

James was silent a moment with those quiet, searching and ever so lovely hazel eyes of his—simply staring into hers. Sighing, he shook his head. "I should be the one saying that, Lily. I guess you've heard, then. You're here; does that mean all is forgiven?"

Lily hesitated. "…and absolutely forgotten," she said, giving him a weak smile at best.

Sighing in relief, he returned to his old self that she knew so well and so well to be so true. No mysteries. "That's quite the relief, you understand. Well, this is it; I'm headed for Kingston today, by train. We've been through a bit, you and I. Wouldn't you agree?"

This was the day they were to separate forever until never happened. Things that never happened… that was one of them. They perked and smiled displaying all the best of themselves to the world, never betraying what boiled under the still waters. The storm ended and the sun wanted to have its due turn in both their lives—but most of all, Lily's.

That visit was far overdue.

"Yes, it has been long," she replied, holding her hands together like a lady; her butler carrying her parasol behind her as he should. The school year was over, yet her mannerisms hadn't changed. Somehow, she always thought they would—change that is. Yet, that change had yet to come—perhaps it was another situation that would happen when never occurred.

"A fair parting on a fair day for two fair souls—of course one soul so fair she outshines the dawn and makes the moon and stars jealous," he said with the smile of a gentleman.

Lily merely laughed, but restrained herself from what it would have been—say on particular nights of particular dances. Lady Lily Evans had to be much more than simply Lily Evans. That was simply the fact of the matter her life had thrown her. Unfortunately, Lily had taken a liking to lemons that came her way and an even more particular liking to the lemonade to be gleaned.

Standing here, talking to him like this was a simply wonderful feeling. Lily never wanted it to end. It was like nothing had ever happened between them both and no more than 'I'm sorry' and 'forgive me's' were needed. Truly, the only way to heal a broken heart was by love so true it hurt; love so true it was despair—so true that it was agony, torment, misery and most of all lovely and beautiful and sheer bliss. With no more than a few words, Lily had reminded herself that there would not ever be a person on this planet she would love as much as him—as true and as pure and as wonderful and as painful and as lovely as love came.

"Silly boy," she said with a slight shake of her head. "Even the all the heavenly bodies in the sky are not worth me."

James nodded in agreement. "Very correct of you, Miss Evans, for your price tag cannot be paid by anyone that walks—or has walked—upon God's green earth."

The whistling of the train twice stunned their conversation momentarily, letting them simply look into each other's eyes for a few precious and far-too-short moments. Lily looked deeply into his hazel eyes—hazel eyes that held no more mysteries and questions that only ended in one answer, she knew—I love Lily Evans. It happened suddenly. So suddenly. Too suddenly.

The simple words she saw in his eyes made her heart cry.

Suddenly she knew the answer to that question when she saw him out by the lake.

"Well… that's my train. I should get going. I may see you one day again, Miss Evans, doubtful, but any chance is a chance, yes?" His eyes were clouded and Lily could not read them. For some reason, she almost didn't want to—afraid of the answer it might give her.

_I'll never see you again, but I love you._

"Yes," she said simply. The boiling waters bubbled far too fiercely to allow her any other cognitive or coherent response than that and she was nearly ashamed to call herself a lady—a lady so fluent that she brought the Duke of some fair area in France to tears with the story of her parents at an earlier meeting at an earlier date.

James nodded to her once before turning heel and walking away slowly. Lily's mouth opened slightly and started to quiver. She had been so foolish at seventeen only to be eighteen and suddenly full-grown. All the days and months seemed far too short to spend with that boy who walked away from her now as a man.

A man who would, one day, become a magnificent auror.

A lady who would, one day, hold the power to control the affairs of the world.

Incompatible, yet incomplete without the other.

No more realizations could strike Lily—she loved that boy and she would say it over and over again until her heart broke—and then she would say it a thousand times more until the grave. That boy she loved was walking away from her forever and she knew there was between nothing and next-to-nothing of a chance that she would see him again.

Yet next-to-nothing was still a chance.

A chance not good enough for Lily Evans.

Without warning, Lily started to run, her white hat with its bow-tie on the back falling off. The calls of her butler went unheeded. The hem of her skirt rejected every stride she took and the very elegant dress protested her every breath. James was already halfway down the station platform—only a carry on bag in his left hand—a very dear hand. Nothing would stop her this time. Time itself stood no chance against her for she would run an eternity just to see those hazel eyes one more time.

"James!" she called when she was only a metre behind.

James stopped on a dime and turned around, grabbing for her wrist and pulling her into an embrace. The impact was far too much for the boy and they fell over, both laying on the ground—both dazed slightly out of their minds. Lily blinked rapidly, the world spinning momentarily. Quidditch had honed his thinking, had honed his skills and James was a boy with both thought and reflexes.

The very moment he came to he lifted his head as to place his lips on hers.

A first kiss with James Potter.

A first kiss with James Potter on the dirty, dusty, walked-on-numerous-times platform that would ferry him away to Kingston forever.

A first kiss that was entirely too short for either of them when the whistle sounded once more—announcing a final minute before departure.

Scrambling to their feet, James tore off first—her hand still in his—after the train. As they ran after the train, Lily found herself laughing.

"James Potter! Where are you taking me? Where are we going?" she said smiling, the sun shining on her face. Her sunshine had finally come and her blue skies, she knew, would last forever. Rain could not stop her now and she would, as she decided that very moment with the sun shining on her lovely face, never let the rain clouds see her tears ever again.

"Kingston, love, to Kingston!" he replied flawlessly, his dark hair blowing with the wind of their furious pace.

"Why am I going with you to Kingston?" she asked, feeling exactly like a schoolgirl in love—which was precisely what she was.

"Because we will spend seven years while I school at Kingston in matrimonial bliss before returning here!"

Lily laughed and it seemed like she could run forever—forever following him—her hand in his. No, her hand _firmly_ in his. Time could spit on itself for all she cared—and she couldn't have cared less.

"I haven't said yes to anything, James, you silly boy!" she scolded with a smile.

James looked back at her. "Ah, but Lily Evans, I can predict your future and in your future you have already said 'Yes, James Potter, I will marry you! And I'll let Sirius Black, of all people, be the best man!'"

"No one loves Lily Evans, James Potter!" she said to him, smiling.

"James Potter loves Lily Evans and that's enough, is it not?"

The train marched to a slow crawl and they continued to run the remaining lengths of the actual platform where the train docked to board the train. James grabbed onto the bar of the closed door and slid it expertly open as if he had done so a million times. Stepping onto the train that continually picked up speed; he pulled Lily onboard and put a hand on her right shoulder after dropping his bag.

His left hand was still very much attached to hers and Lily could honestly say that she didn't mind at all.

"Isn't it?" he repeated, closing the door next to them as the platform disappeared.

Lily could only smile. "Indeed—it is."

* * *

To My Reviewers:

I'd like to start off saying that, yes, I do know it is similar to C2's title. Note order.

Well, that's that. The last chapter. The end of the line. The train has stopped. I hope you all thoroughly enjoyed it! I know some of you have just by how avid you have been at keeping up with the reviews! Some of you really impress me with how quick you were to respond to every chapter update! It kept me thinking all the time "Sweet Mercy, if that were me it would take me a week to get around to it!" Honestly though, your reviews are the fuel that kept me going long enough to finish it. If no one had reviewed I probably wouldn't have the heart to do anything about it.

Anyway, there is an epilogue after this and I will crush all your hopes and dreams of a sequel to Rain right here and now. I dislike sequels and I rather dislike the thought of making one. Pirates, in my mind, is the only good sequel out there and I'm biased towards Johnny Depp anyway. I'll run a few personal dedications and messages to a few of you who have been with me for so long to show my appreciation and this train will pull into the station. If you're interested I can share some of my insight and inspiration for why I made the characters who they were--but only if you care. I won't bore you with silly details like that.

So, finally, here's a final thank you to everyone who read, enjoyed, hated, and loved Rain. Many thanks to you all and much, much love!

If you're at all interested, here's some shameless promotion for my next story: Your Choice of Flower.

* * *

"Lily Evans!?" he cried, distraught for only a moment. Why had he not recognized her name? Her voice? Her bright red hair? Lily was the only one in the entire school with silly bright red natural hair—a prefect no less just as he was before. How on earth did he just deem to forget this individual except for that time in the park where he swore they first met? 

Lily withdrew her hand and blinked, startled. "Why, yes, that is, in fact, what they call me. Not so loud, though, you can imagine," she added as an afterthought.

With no clear thought plausible in sight, James was at a loss for words and instead reflexes took over with baser instincts on his part. "What the bloody blazes are you doing here? Where is the Head Girl and what have you done with her?" he sputtered in a string of intelligible words that seemed entirely incoherent to him.

Sighing indiscriminately, Lily shook her head at him, _tsking_. "My dear, dear Mr Potter, I _am_ the Head Girl. I've only had competition for it since fourth year when Alicia Rose suddenly dropped out from the competition. Some bout of flu stuffed up in her head, I'd imagine. Lost her wits against true genius. I've been top in the grade since first you know. I don't mean to brag and I'm only replaying what McGonagall has said but I'm 'the smartest in the school.' Funny isn't it? How a muggle-born is probably better than all the purebloods the school can hold?"

Words fluttered through James' mind—all consisting of both thin and thick phrases, loud and long syllables and about a million different things he simply wanted out of his mouth but would not form properly as a means to do so. The thought that shattered this all was the sheer wonder how he had managed to live his entire seven years at Hogwarts not knowing the very name of this individual up until recent transgressions occurring at the park.

Amidst all this was Lily Evans, squawking her head off like the parrot she was making herself out to be. It was then and there that he reflexively knew what he would want to say to her in the next three seconds.

"You are a parrot."

* * *

Did you enjoy that? It's only a rough draft, however. The real thing will start up almost immediately once Rain has it's epilogue out. To be honest, I am actually a little tired of writing this Lily Evans, I need a change and this will be it. 

Comments:

It's OVER! It's OVER! Do I sound too excited? Well, at any rate, it's OVER! I liked it, anyway. It was a fun ride while it lasted, but I have to say that I am glad it's over. This last chapter came to me in a sudden bout of inspiration. The original version didn't quite fit with what was going on at the time, so some adjustments had to be made to work around that.

I loved it all.

Please R&R. This will be your second last chance to do so.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.


	32. Epilogue: Rain

Chapter Thirty-Two: Epilogue – RAIN 

Lily turned the diamond ring on her finger, admiring how lovely all its facets caught the sunlight. It still seemed too surreal, too unbelievable, to be true. As she brushed the feather of the quill on her chin once more, she refilled it with ink from the bottle before turning back to her writing. It proved difficult to control the Evans estate without actually being there. Then again, she had to sign off on everything that occurred anyway. Thus, things had halted to a slow crawl since Kingston was very remote and very far away from home.

"Then again, this has been my home already for a few years," she said, smiling.

As her pen touched the paper once more and she wrote out the lengthy orders of what was to be done with assets, interests, investors and everything else, Lily found that her hand stopped of its own accord as her mind touched upon the subject of happiness.

What was happiness? How could you describe it? Everyone in the world was searching for their happiness, chasing after it with all their heart, mind and soul. It was something that was not easily obtainable. Something like that surely existed for everyone. It was all a matter of being able to catch it in your hand and hold it close to your heart forevermore. Not a single person in the world could 'give' you happiness. Certainly, it was something that you had to get yourself. How you get it is entirely up to you, and, of course, there are always those that help you achieve happiness.

"You'll want nothing else… when you're happy…" Lily decided.

Hands and soon arms slipped around her shoulders and Lily smiled. "Whatever my lovely flower wants, I swear to her that her gardener will grant her wish," he said as he kissed her cheek.

Lily smiled and put her quill down. This would be the second interruption today in her work—but James was restless and this was his only day off from school in weeks. Unfortunately, Lily's hand sported bruises from writing for the past two months. Even for short business trips by floo were tough—especially with the baby due to arrive in seven months. Approximately one week ago James had banned her from taking floo trips—saying that the ashes would probably disrupt the baby's natural growth.

"This little flower wants nothing more than her gardener."

James laughed, pulling her long red hair out behind her from over her shoulders. "That's good to hear. So, is my lovely lily up for a little bit of lovely sunshine? Sirius is visiting and actually waiting in town for us at the café. Care to come?"

Lily sighed. "He hasn't stopped hitting on me you know. Every time he comes down for a visit I always hear the same thing: 'You know, Potter, if you ever want to be a Black, I'm available.' Surely you'll spare your _lovely_ wife that _lovely_ greeting?"

Kissing her head again, he moved around her so he could look into her eyes. "Absolutely not. Come on, love, he's waiting."

Lily rolled her eyes, sighed and put her quill down. After picking up her best white hat off the rack, she followed James out the door. Their house was remote; it was about a ten minute walk into town with no neighbours for fifteen minutes. Partly, this was because they were staying at the Potter's summer home. Both of James sisters had stayed here while attending Kingston, and both of them had also passed Kingtson's standards with flying colours. Arianna was the eldest and Lily had met her on occasion. Such grace and poise she never imagined possible in any single person—and yet she was lovely and ever so amiable and wonderful to be with beyond graceful courtesies.

Relina was just as lovely as Arianna and with quite the knack for wandless charming. Relina graduated from Kingston with the highest of honours and holds the record still today for the highest and most well-achieved individual to pass through its halls. His sister certainly knew how to have a good time and Lily could easily see where Sirius picked up all his techniques for attempting to have a date with Lily.

Arianna Potter—the princess of society.

Relina Potter—the ace of spades.

James Potter, her husband and the love of her life.

At first, upon moving into Kingston, after getting everything squared away with the random departure of Lily, they had gotten married promptly after. Upon finding a quaint little café in town, they made fun of Lily taking a table for one and James stopping by just so that it would seem like they met by chance. The store owners knew them by name and always played along. Lily had never lost her charm for people, it seemed.

As they strolled into town, Lily on James' arm, they headed straight for the café and easily spotted Sirius. Sitting down at his table, they exchanged warm greetings, and ordered a round of drinks. James got up to go to the washroom, leaving Lily and Sirius alone together.

"Miss Evans, lovely as ever. Oh, my mistake, that's Mrs Potter now, isn't it? You know, Potter, if you ever want to be a Black, I'm most definitely available."

Lily sighed, though a smile was on her face. "Sirius, honestly, you never give up, do you? Even when I'm well-married to your best friend."

Sirius roared with laughter. "Love, if it were any other girl, I would say I'm happy for the boy. Since it's you, all I can think of are ways to whisk you off those dainty feet of yours so that you'll fall for the one you're truly meant to be with—OW! Oh, James, back from the loo, are you?"

James simply smiled and nodded, sitting down next to Lily, putting a protective arm around her while smiling promptly at Sirius. "Indeed, and not but five minutes I'm gone you're already making a move for my woman."

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "Of course, I loved her first! So, how is life out here in the hills?"

"Peaceful. The scenery, I love it. Everything about this place is so… not like the estate; I absolutely love every shred of it."

James smiled at Lily and kissed her cheek. "My thoughts are the same."

"Excellent. How is the baby? How is my little godchild doing?"

"He's doing alright."

"He?"

"It's a boy—certainly. I can tell. James doesn't believe me, but it's most definitely a boy."

James laughed. "I'd like a boy. You know, though, I'd love a girl much more. That just means I could spoil you both ridiculously. I think my darling flower has gotten far too used to it."

Shaking her head and sighing as he took her hand and kissed it, she smiled at him. "Mr Potter has been nothing but the romantic for the last six years. In fact, he didn't want to have a child at all because he wanted my attention all for himself and said just as much."

James shrugged shamelessly. "With such a lovely wife who wouldn't?"

They both stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Life with James was wonderful—it was fun and most of all it was bliss. Lily had never known bliss like this before. It was quiet, it was calming and it made her happy.

For some, the road to happiness was paved with sorrow. For others it meant opening a door. However someone got there, happiness was different for everyone. How it was found and what it was is unique and specific to every single person. True happiness—very much like true love—was a hard diamond to find.

Lily had certainly found her happiness.

Sirius sighed. "Ah, young lovers. You're both happy, that makes me glad to know."

"And how about you, Sirius? Any young ladies in your life?"

Sirius roared with laughter. "Remember what I told you so many years ago, James? There's not a single person I would want more than your lovely wife. You cod, you stole her from me. Then again, she stole herself away from me a long time ago. I've sworn off women. The only one for me is married to my best friend."

James laughed and smiled. "I suppose. That _would_ indeed, be a terrible circumstance. And how is silly old Manchester for aurors? Or are you considering flying for Ireland?"

Sirius smiled and sighed. "I don't think I'd be good enough to fly for Ireland. Even though they scouted me, I'll never be as good as the others and they all know it. Manchester is Manchester. It always rains and not a blue sky in sight. I might move here with you two to attend Kingston. Bloody tough school to get into though. James, my boy, you made it look so easy it makes me look terrible!"

Lily frowned. "What a waste of six years at silly old Manchester then. We'll be moving back to rainy old London soon, though. You coming here would be a waste."

Sirius laughed. "What nonsense! I'm the top of my class at Manchester. It's been a much easier six years there than James has had here. On a list of schools for auror training, Manchester is ranked third behind Kingston at first and Newcastle at second. Saying 'I graduated from Kingston' sounds much better and is far easier to say than 'I graduated from Manchester top of my class.' That's the way they see it, in the end."

Lily huffed. "The magical world is ridiculous. Simply ridiculous."

Lily had not picked up her wand in six years and she never intended to touch it again. For six years since graduation, Lily had, for the most part, lived her life as a muggle. She had no time or patience otherwise. Magic was useful, of that there was no question. However, Lily's aversion to it was not aided by her own unwillingness to be compared to James—who could probably charm and defend against Voldemort himself in his sleep.

To say that James was adept at what he did would by flat-out lying. James was no Relina Potter, but he was second to none at the school. In fact, there was no one as comparable to Relina that she could think of. Relina hardly ever had to use her wand anymore. If she ever brought out her wand you knew it meant she was serious. Everything up to that point was sport.

In fact, for the Charms portion of her studies she went without her wand. One reason due to the fact that the silly oak thing broke and she hadn't the time or energy to get a new one until the course was complete. Technically it was her fault that it broke, but the differences and similarities were all the same.

As they caught up a bit more—Sirius making a few more passes at Lily shamelessly—it eventually came round the time for Sirius to go. Unsurprisingly he had a test to 'attend to' the following day and he would need to be able to get to school in time for it. Lily scoffed at him for not having studied prior at all. With that coming to an end, James took Lily by the hand and they walked back to their house.

Lily entered the house first and didn't even manage to slip off her other shoe before James caught and held her around her middle, burrowing his face into the back of her head and into her hair.

"Forgive me, but you smell like lilies," he said quietly.

Lily smiled. "And you smell like hazel. Lovely, warm, wonderful hazel."

"Lily Evans, I love you, I'd be a fool to say anything else."

Lily smiled. Every now and then, he would call her by the name she left behind. It made them both feel so nostalgic. It made them both feel like Hogwarts had never ended and they were simply attending it where only one other person existed or mattered.

It was wonderful.

It was euphoric.

It was bliss.

It was love.

It was matrimony.

It was Lily and James Potter.

"Lily Evans, I love you."

Lily smiled. "James Potter, I… love you… very much."

Outside they heard the thunder boom as rain started to fall.

* * *

To My Dear Reviewers: It is those that I admire terribly so that have the patience to leave a review on every chapter. I shamelessly admit that I am not so good at that myself simply because I have no time to read the fiction of others. To those who have, I sincerely appreciate it! The ongoing motivation does me splendidly! 

PERSONAL NOTES - In Alphabetical Order:

Ghost44: You're lovely and wonderful, sweetheart, thank you for taking the time to PM that message to me. It really made my day when I got it in my inbox! Tell your friend, whomever they are, that I think they have excellent taste in not only fiction but friends. My best love to you and your studies! Work hard, you'll be excellent in anything you do, I'm sure!

messyblackhair66: Kisses, darling, kisses, and roses and poppies and lilies and flowers. Thank you for sticking with me, I grandly appreciate it, love.

A Host of Others: cosmopolitan, Eve1980, Isolde Eris, marauder-chick101, and many, many, many more!

And that is that. Kisses.

Comments:

Fini.

Please R&R. (Absolutely last time to do so!)

- Minute Maid

The Beverage of what?

The Beverage of Queens.


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